Star Trek: Hidden Frontier – 206 – To The Stars

2001 Official Site
Directed by Rob Caves and Jennifer Cole

This episode is special because it is filled with clips from the older series Voyages of the USS Angeles. Thus, I have to make a whole new second Roll Call, for the second time this season. This season of Hidden Frontier hates me. The next time we have a Very Special Episode of Star Trek: Hidden Frontier, can it please be about someone fighting space anorexia or high school space bullies instead of just having an entire new cast? Or how about an episode where someone is an alcoholic, you could call it To The Bars!

Captain Ian Quincy Knapp (David W. Dial) – Still Angry! His brother was killed by the Dominion, and left Captain Knapp angry! Had a mysterious encounter during the Dominion War (The Dominion who killed his brother) with mystery aliens that made him angry, and now that he commands Deep Space 12 and the USS Excelsior he can take out his anger over his brother’s death with flaming kill-lasers. Did I mention his brother was killed? Counselor Myra Elbrey (Barbara Clifford) – Betazoid, used to teach at the Academy. Survivor of the Grey attack on the USS Rutledge. Has a dog named Mr. Scott. Occasionally blonde. Ensign Artim Ibanya (Beau Christian Williams) – Because YOU demanded it, the kid from Star Trek: Insurrection with the CGI mouse is now a grown up main character! Wait, who demanded this? Someone did. And now we got it. His character is not as terrible as you might imagine, which is a shock to me.

OMG FLASHBACK Roll Call!

Fleet Captain Cole (Jennifer Cole) – Commodore Cole once was just a lowly Fleet Captain who no one listened to. Thus, they promoted her! Lt. Jason Munoz (Jason Munoz) – Munoz is back despite not being really back and just being stock footage! Hooray! Counselor Katie Moss (Katie Moss) – Kate Moss? It took her until the 24th Century to defeat her anorexia. Manages to get kidnapped as well, making her the supermodel counselor version of Harry Kim. Artim (Beau Christian Williams) – I guess if I was part of the LA Star Trek fan club and had made these flicks for years, I would have seen Beau Christian Williams grow up before my eyes. Now I just see it on the internet. Lt Tenenbaum (Jake Tenenbaum) – I don’t know anything about him, so let’s just as some lyrics from O Tannenbaum: O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, Your branches green delight us. They’re green when summer days are bright;— They’re green when winter snow is white. O, Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, Your branches green delight us! Ensign James Darwin (Cliff Gardner) – Before he was Lt. Cmdr. James Darwin, he was Ensign James Darwin. Thus, here he is. Amazing, I know. Dr. Henglaar (John Whiting) – Medical Doctor, Tellarite, and an actual interesting character. Ignore the fact he is wearing a pig nose and Muppet gloves…again! Because it’s a flashback, you see. John Whiting ruled even then. He can cure his own swine flu.

If they make me set up a THIRD brand new Roll Call this season I’m gonna…

That kid Artim from the ST:Insurrection movie is back and has hit puberty and found what in the Baku rings reverses the aging process. Thanks to the element RJ231, which is the opposite cousin of RU486 the abortion pill.

Artim is offered a job on some random planet since his job is done, so Artim sulks in the bar because he doesn’t know what he wants. Way to get drunk instead of making decisions. What are you, everybody’s dad? Counselor Elbry tells him that Munoz has his own ship now. Then we get a flashback to when Artim meet Munoz on Baku – Munoz is back, and Mr. Darwin is also there and we find out he has a wife. Some other lady is there who is Counselor Moss. Hooray for clip shows! Munoz is younger than we say him last and Artim is years younger!

They are working under Captain Cole, and someone was trying to freeze the Ba’ku planet with giant drills..the Breen!

Artim sneaks on the Sovereign-classUSS Independence (aren’t they supposed to be on the USS Angeles? What is going on?) and tells Jason Munoz he wants to be in Starfleet. He also wants to find his mom who left Ba’ku to join Starfleet. Her name is Commander Allison Ibana. His mom is first officer on the USS Endeavour – which is helping rebuild Cardassia.

Munoz goes to tell Captain Cole, who yells at him. She is the prototype of Captain Angry. The Breen beam Artim and the Counselor Moss off the ship and demand to build a colony on Ba’ku, or they will kill them. Captain Prototype Angry is angry.

The old bridge effects are pretty bad compared to what they have even now.

So the Breen shoot Artim. Yes, kill him, KILL HIM!! Oh, wait, he can’t be dead because he’s doing the flashback. Sigh… They beam the kid to sickbay where Dr. Henglaar and a nurse are to operate on him, but the kid dies. Hey, wait a minute, episode, I told you the kid can’t be dead because this is a flashback BY THE KID! So stop making him dead! And how does he remember what happened when he was dead?

Jason grabs the kid and puts him on a Runabout and flies through the rings as Captain Cole laments that no one listens to her. She just isn’t angry enough. We need an angrier captain…

After a couple of hours the kid wakes up. He says goodbye to his dad and ships off. Flashback over!

Elbry convinces the kid to ask Captain Angry to help him get assigned to a starship – the USS Excelsior! So he does and he is. And that’s why the kid will be around later. Maybe. He isn’t back this season, but he could be. That’s what is important.

Rated 3/10 (Opening crawl, stock footage Breen, AE!)

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