SoftFilm strikes back –

Duriandave threw up some new treasures to further drive me crazy after the last blog entry I wrote about him! Now we have:

1952 film The Precious Sword and the Magic Bow aka Three Lady Fighters aka Daughters of Musketeer. It’s directed by martial-arts movie pioneer Yam Yu-tin and stars Hong Kong action queen Yu So-chow and Yam’s daughter Yam Yin.

Another awesome female action film that I will never get to see without a tie machine! Congratulations, duriandave, you have driven me crazy again!
SoftFilm story link
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Plot of the film from the HKFA:

Yu Jie is a fisherman of Lake Poyang. His three daughters Suqiu, Sumei and Suzhen are formidable martial artists whose fame as fighters of bandits precede them. They are known far and wide as the “Three Lady Fighters.” One day, the three sisters witness an attempt by bandit Iron Mouth Pao to steal chickens from chicken farmer Zhang Bingshen and Second Uncle Li. The sisters scare off Iron Mouth Pao. Suqiu is attracted to the poor but gentle Bingshen, who has started the chicken farm with help from Second Uncle Li. His chickens are once again appropriated by two local tyrants Jin Kai and Jin Diao. Feeling that life has no value, Bingshen attempts suicide, but the three sisters come to his rescue. A plan is hatched whereby third sister puts on male disguise to penetrate the Jin household to snatch back the chickens. The Jin brothers recall third brother Jin Hua to plan retaliation. Hua and Iron Mouth Pao join forces to tackle the three sisters. In a confrontation, Bingshen is captured by Iron Mouth Pao. The three sisters set out for the Xin Le Dancing House where they take on and defeat the Jin brothers and their ally, Chen Dagang. Bingshen is incarcerated at the Jin Family Fortress. Hua has a change of heart when he sees his two brothers cruelly submitting Bingshen to torture. The three sisters invade the stockade to rescue Bingshen but fall into booby-traps. The father rushes to the rescue, helped by Hua. The Jin Family Fortess’ defences are broken through. The sisters and Bingshen are rescued. Suqiu and Bingshen finally marry.

In fact, rumbling around the HKFA is turning out to be very interesting, I will see if I can compile the plots of some interesting sounding films soon.

And tho those who think it is weird to be obsessed with old Chinese films when there aren’t any in my review list, stay tuned, because two of them are in the pipeline! A Connie Chan flick and an even older film with a young Josephine Siao!

Raptor Ranch

Jurassic Park meets Carnosaur meets Brokeback Mountain without any brokebacking. Actually, it is Raptor Island on a ranch. Raptor Ranch! And without seeing one frame of footage I can assure you it is better than Raptor Island and Raptor Island 2 – Raptor Planet. In fact, it looks like it could be pretty fun. Potential is here. Like Raptor Planet, they will use a mix of animaltronic and cgi raptors, except they added color to them, so they don’t look lame. Basically, if it is fun, it will be a good movie. Rumors are it might show up on SciFi Channel sometime this spring.
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The film is the brainchild of Dan Bishop, an experience production designer on many projects.
Starring Jana, stand-up comic Rowdy Arroyo, Cody Vaughn, Donny Boaz, and Bo Myers

Animaltronic work of Larry Billings:
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CGI work of Michael Napodano:
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Official Site
More Info a Undead Backbrain

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Thanks to Avery, who I hope avoids any attacking raptors!

Flowplayer=Woeplayer

I upgraded Firefox and now it looks like Flowplayer doesn’t work with it (but still works with IE)
Thus all the flash movie files don’t work
I have an older version of Flowplayer, I am guessing that is why.
So now I get to learn how to configure the new version to work.
Fun times ahead!
I am sorry to anyone who can’t see the video clips on the main site, it will be fixed soon (hopefully) than I can get around to upgrading the forums.

EDIT: Hmmm… Firefox 3.0.5 is not displaying these on my XP box, but they show up fine on the Vista laptop running 3.0.5. Now I am confused. Maybe I still need to upgrade, maybe not.

EDIT 2: I upgraded Flowplayer to the newest version and finally figured out a configuration that works on my XP box, need to test it on other comps first, and if it is good then I only have to redo EVERY video clip on the site. Annoying. It still beats having Youtube delete everything randomly.

Pay no attention to that mystrious roar in deep space!

It is NOT my giant, living planet finally achieving consciousness and preparing to feed on neighboring moons for the first time. I repeat, it is NOT a giant living planet I created named Gorth who will soon devour planets on my command if they do not hand over their secret advanced technology. You have nothing to fear. Go back to watching American Idol. Remember to vote for the worst!

PS: Also ignore the Bloop in the ocean. Just don’t go swimming after dark if you hear it.

Mystery Roar from Faraway Space Detected
Andrea Thompson
Senior Writer
SPACE.com andrea Thompson
senior Writer
space.com – Wed Jan 7, 10:31 pm ET

LONG BEACH, Calif. — Space is typically thought of as a very quiet place. But one team of astronomers has found a strange cosmic noise that booms six times louder than expected.

The roar is from the distant cosmos. Nobody knows what causes it.

Of course, sound waves can’t travel in a vacuum (which is what most of space is), or at least they can’t very efficiently. But radio waves can.

Radio waves are not sound waves, but they are still electromagnetic waves, situated on the low-frequency end of the light spectrum.

Many objects in the universe, including stars and quasars, emit radio waves. Even our home galaxy, the Milky Way, emits a static hiss (first detected in 1931 by physicist Karl Jansky). Other galaxies also send out a background radio hiss.

But the newly detected signal, described here today at the 213th meeting of the American Astronomical Society, is far louder than astronomers expected.

There is “something new and interesting going on in the universe,” said Alan Kogut of NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Md.

A team led by Kogut detected the signal with a balloon-borne instrument named ARCADE (Absolute Radiometer for Cosmology, Astrophysics, and Diffuse Emission).

In July 2006, the instrument was launched from NASA’s Columbia Scientific Balloon Facility in Palestine, Texas, and reached an altitude of about 120,000 feet (36,500 meters), where the atmosphere thins into the vacuum of space.

ARCADE’s mission was to search the sky for faint signs of heat from the first generation of stars, but instead they heard a roar from the distant reaches of the universe.

“The universe really threw us a curve,” Kogut said. “Instead of the faint signal we hoped to find, here was this booming noise six times louder than anyone had predicted.”

Detailed analysis of the signal ruled out primordial stars or any known radio sources, including gas in the outermost halo of our own galaxy.

Other radio galaxies also can’t account for the noise – there just aren’t enough of them.

“You’d have to pack them into the universe like sardines,” said study team member Dale Fixsen of the University of Maryland. “There wouldn’t be any space left between one galaxy and the next.”

The signal is measured to be six times brighter than the combined emission of all known radio sources in the universe.

For now, the origin of the signal remains a mystery.

“We really don’t know what it is,”said team member Michael Seiffert of NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, Calif.

And not only has it presented astronomers with a new puzzle, it is obscuring the sought-for signal from the earliest stars. But the cosmic static may itself provide important clues to the development of galaxies when the universe was much younger, less than half its present age. Because the radio waves come from far away, traveling at the speed of light, they therefore represent an earlier time in the universe.

“This is what makes science so exciting,” Seiffert said. “You start out on a path to measure something – in this case, the heat from the very first stars – but run into something else entirely, some unexplained.”

Ninja Cheerleaders

Ninja Cheerleaders (Review)

Ninja Cheerleaders


2008
Directed and written by David Presley

Ninjas and cheerleaders go together like peanut butter and scotch tape, except now I need a new awkward comparison because Ninja Cheerleaders isn’t that bad of a film. There are a few problems, such as pacing, padding, and pointless stuff; but besides the three P’s, it holds together pretty well. It also has George Takei, who is awesome, but fails to give us cheerleader ninja nudity, instead it is just random strippers who look as fake as a Sorny TV. Writer and director David Presley did an okay job for a low-budget picture like this. So pay attention to this film, because it is filled with hot chicks. And stuff happens. But mostly hot chicks with swords and butt being kicked. Because that is what makes movies great.

Courtney (Trishelle Cannatella) – – Age: 19, Sign: Leo, Favorite Band: LA Philharmonic, Favorite Book: Black Holes and Time Warps by Kip Thorne, Favorite Move: Open palmed nose punch. Courtney comes from a bad home but has risen above all of that to become a ninja cheerleader and to make it into an Ivy League school. Guess which one of these actresses you can find naked pictures of on the internet?
April (Ginny Weirick) – – Age: 18, Sign: Aires, Favorite Band: The Killers, Favorite Book: The Art of War, Favorite Move: Throat/groin combo. The most serious of the three girls, and the one most likely to beat you up for being male. Seriously. She’s sneaking up on you right now!
Monica (Maitland McConnell) – – – Age: 18, Sign: Scorpio, Favorite Band: The Strokes, Favorite Book: Lullaby by Chuck Palahniuk, Favorite Move: spinning side kick. The free spirit who always has a smile on her face. what kind of name is Maitland?
Hiroshi (George Takei) –George Takei is freaking George Takei! George Takei is awesome! Sure, he plays some dude named Hiroshi who is a ninja sensie and a strip club owner, but he’s really George Takei, and that’s all that matters! George Takei was last heard (but not seen) here giving voices for the English dub of Godzilla Raids Again (Gigantis the Fire Monster).
Victor Lazzaro (Michael Paré) –Michael Paré takes a break from starring in the cinematic horror that is Uwe Boll films (BloodRayne for one) and instead flexes his acting talents here as mob boss Victor Lazzaro. Keep on flexing.
Kinji (Natasha Chang) –The evil girl fighter you need for these movies, except it is not really fair, as she is but one against three. Or four, since she ends up fighting George Takei in the end. No one can defeat George Takei.
Detective Harris (Larry Poindexter) – Goateed cop who spends most of the film one step behind the girls, yet isn’t so slow he doesn’t realize they are up to ninja highjinks. Has an unfortunate encounter with Kinji. Is the guy interviewing the girls for the interspersed interview segments.