The Dark Knight Rises

The Dark Knight Rises


2012
Screenplay by Jonathan Nolan and Christopher Nolan
Story by Christopher Nolan and David S. Goyer
Directed by Christopher Nolan

Halle Berry slashed my tires last night!

Our The Dark Knight Rises review will be in a slightly different format, list form! And not the “Top 6 Bane Pick up Lines that Will Explode and Blow Your Mind” type of lists, just a list of thoughts in semi-sequential format as we go through the film. Thus, SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS below the fold!

Neither rain, nor sleet, nor the Dark Knight…
  • Arriving early to get an aisle seat.
  • This theater has Oogieloves posters all over it!
  • I will be upset if there isn’t a bare minimum of 5 rises in TDKR!
  • Why are two very fat guys in nerd shirts complaining about the nerds in the theater? And now I am complaining about them on the internet!
Too cool for earmuffs
  • The new Superman trailer documents his time on Deadliest Catch (and how much better Joe Manganiello would have been in the role!)
  • I also drank less tea before the film so I wouldn’t have to go to the bathroom that much (Did I succeed? See below!)
  • And now the opening sequence that was released on the internet months ago!
  • Remember: Spoilers below the fold!
The Last Days of the XFL…

Game on for a new round of Jumanji!

That completely obvious headline is true, there will be a new Jumanji film, reimagined and updated for the present. That’s literally what Columbia Pictures president Doug Belgrad said. He mentioned a bit about the Steve Jobs biopic and how there will probably be a Men in Black 4. But the important thing is they’re rebooting Jumanji. Jumanji! Updated! What, are they going to make it a Facebook app? Jumanji on the iPhone that the kids download illegally and suddenly are playing the jungle game? This is one idea that we need a dislike button on Facebook for. give me the classic Jumanji with Robin Williams bouncing around, CGI fat rhinos that can’t keep up with the herd, the hunter played by the same actor as the father, and the dystopian alternate timeline future created by the game that would totally cause the main characters to go crazy. That’s Jumanji.
Jumanji

This is the wrong Jumanji!


Via THR
Jumanji cover from this track

Marvel upcoming film slate to take all your money

Marvel released updated info on their next wave of money printing devices they call movies, which will lead into Avengers 2, the film that will make so much money we’ll have to invent new types of money for it to make! Perhaps they’ll take my Schrutebucks!

First is Iron Man 3 coming out May 3, 2013. Directed by Shane Black, the story seems based on the Extremis arc from the Iron Man comics, though long-mentioned villain the Mandarin will be appearing as well. Footage from Comic-Con showed Ben Kingsley as Mandarin attacking Tony Stark’s home. Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Paul Bettany, and Jon Favreau return, along with Guy Pearce, Rebecca Hall, Ashley Hamilton, James Badge Dale, and Avengers star Cobie Smulders. There was buzz a few months ago about “Iron Patriot” armor that just turned out to be repainted War Machine armor.

Next is Thor: The Dark World on November 8, 2013. Alan Taylor is now attached to direct, and most of the cast is returning. There have been no official villain reveals, though the rumor cloud is that it will be new villains with Loki lurking around doing his Loki thing. Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Hopkins, Stellan Skarsgård, and Idris Elba are reprising their roles from the first film. Joshua Dallas can’t reprise Fandral due to tv commitments, but is being replaced by Zachary Levi, who was originally slated to appear in the first Thor.

Captain America: The Winder Soldier is the Captain America sequel whose title might be giving away the plot line. The original story featured the return of Cap’s sidekick Bucky as a brainwashed killer, so we’ll see if that ends up happening. One casting announcement we do have is Anthony Mackie as Sam Wilson/the Falcon, who was Cap’s sidekick for a long time in the 1970s and one of the first black superheroes. Chris Evans is returning (duh!) but besides being directed Joe and Anthony Russo and a release date of April 4, 2014, we don’t have much more information.

By far the craziest announcement was the confirmation of Guardians of the Galaxy, due on August 1, 2014. This is a different Guardians of the Galaxy team than the one I grew up with: Groot, Drax the Destroyer, Rocket Racoon, Gamorra, and Star-Lord. Though I am familiar with Drax and Gamorra from old Adam Warlock titles, the rest are new to me. Basically, Marvel is creating a $200 million film starring a raccoon and a tree fighting aliens, which will then lead into Avengers 2. Sure, I’ll play along!
Promo art for Guardians of the Galaxy:
Guardians of the Galaxy

Finally, there will also be an Ant-Man film, but beyond Edgar Wright showing off test footage, there was no real announcement of anything important about Ant-Man. But one day, there will be an Ant-Man film. And it will be triumph-ANT!

Iron Man 3 title
Thor The Dark World title
Captain America Winter Soldier title
Guardians of the Galaxy title
ant-man title

Pics via AICN

Miraculous Flower (Review)

Miraculous Flower

aka Phoenix The Ninja aka 蓋世奇花 aka Wolf Devil Woman 3 aka Gai shi ji hua

1981
Script by Godfrey Ho Jeung-Keung
Story by Pearl Cheung Ling
Directed by Fong Ho


It’s Pearl Cheung Ling Time! Another classic Pearl Cheung Ling martial arts cinema masterpiece gets its due. Miraculous Flower (possibly better known as Phoenix The Ninja, as that’s the name I knew it as for years!) is a great piece of cinema that stands on the edge of Pearl-insanity and classic wuxia revenge. Filled with kooky characters, varied and elaborate environments, and plenty of gory action, Miraculous Flower pulls out all the stops and succeeds in being entertaining and fun.

This is her first film where Pearl is actively involved in the narrative construction beyond just a producer role. And while she did come up with the story, it’s obvious that they needed to follow a more traditional kung fu revenge narrative. While it still walks the edge of the volcano, there are moments where things go a bit wild. It is probably safe to say some of the smaller quirks are also Pearl’s doing, and things were added to tailor to her interests. When Pearl is dressed in the all black revenge costume and swooping around like an angel of death, that’s pretty much pure Pearl Cheung Ling. Her transformation sequence in Matching Escort involves her donning a full white costume, while in Wolf Devil Woman the entire character changes constantly through the film. Dark Lady of Kung Fu deals with this by having Pearl’s character having two separate identities. By the time of her final film General Invincible, the Pearl character is torn between two worlds and duty and honor from those worlds, and the consequences thereof.

For more Pearl Cheung Ling background, be sure to check out the Infernal Brains Podcasts on her (Part 1 is here, Part 2 is upcoming!) and check out the other Pearl reviews up – Matching Escort and Dark Lady of Kung Fu.

As we noted before, Matching Escort was retitled during a released as Wolf Devil Woman 2, and Miraculous Flower was retitled Wolf Devil Woman 3, despite being made before either of the other two films! I have two versions of Miraculous Flower, the Hong Kong release that features all the gore but is missing some scenes in the beginning featuring the Happy Fairy, and the international IFD retitle Phoenix the Ninja that has the gore trimmed but doesn’t feature any full cut scenes. I do not know why the early scenes were cut, maybe to make room on a vcd or something? Both versions feature different credit sequences. A good breakdown of the two versions can be found here.

Ao-shuang Leng (Pearl Cheung Ling) – Just your average woman whose mother died and sends her on a quest that turns out to be far bigger than she imagined. She’s totally not the last of the May family hidden away so well even she doesn’t know it! And that certainly wouldn’t send her out seeking revenge!
Lord No-dust (Tsung Hua) – Lord No-dust hates dirt! Yet somehow he decided to wear white outfits all of the time in a land filled with women named Ao-shuang who constantly get him dirty. Okay, only one woman named Ao-shuang does that, but as she’s the main character and his lover interest, it’s a pretty important Ao-shuang. Lord No-dust secretly learned martial arts after his father forbid it.
Sheue Huai-jen (Wang Hsieh) – Lord No-dust’s father and the head of Snow Shadow in Plume Woods. He was involved in martial arts intrigue long ago and faces continual fallout, including lots of people who want to see him dead. ANd he may have been involved in Ao-shaung’s family’s murder.
Happy Fairy (Gua Ah-Leh) – Sometimes called My Lady, Happy Fairy is a martial arts master who motivates Ao-shuang to continue her quests and teaches her skills she needs to defeat the bad guys who killed her family.
The Monk Syma Chin-cherng (???) – A simple regretful monk is more than he seems, as not only is he Ao-shuang’s father’s brother, but he totally is behind the whole slaughter of her family thing!

Santa Paws 2: The Santa Pups is the gift that keeps on giving…

If there is one film franchise that deserves to continue forever, it’s definitely not the Air Buddies. But that’s what we’re working with here, so once again let’s jump into the fire of the Air Buddies, for we’re getting a sequel to their prequel spinoff that features a whole new crew of puppies! Santa Paws 2: The Santa Pups features a foursome of puppies, and three of them are girls in a good counter to the male-centric Air Buddies (sort of, the boy puppy is still the leader for some reason.) Let’s take a look at the PR buzz:

In the film, the North Pole has a new litter of playful pups! However, when the frisky foursome — Hope, Jingle, Charity and Noble — practically destroy Santa’s Workshop with their mischievous gamboling, they realize the best way to prove that they’re responsible enough to become Santa’s Helpers is to show how well they can spread the Christmas spirit all by themselves. With help from a magic crystal, they start granting everyone’s wishes. But their good intentions backfire when one unhappy boy asks that Christmas go away forever! With his wish impetuously fulfilled, and the joyous spirit quickly disappearing from the planet, Mrs. Claus and the pups have to find a way to reverse the spell — or risk losing Christmas forever!

This cute litter consists of three female pups and one male pup: Hope is the daring tomboy who wears a backwards red cap and rarely looks before she leaps; Jingle is the diva with a bell on her collar who loves to sing, but can’t carry a tune; Charity is the girliest and most self-centered of the pups, with a mistletoe barrette, who has yet to learn the meaning of her name; and Noble is the mischievous only brother and self-appointed leader who is distinguished by a cheeky black spot around his eye.

Will these pups save Christmas and make everyone jingle their bells and shoot their eyes out? Of course! Uh..spoilers.

Starring Cheryl Ladd, Danny Woodburn, Pat Finn, Kaitlyn Maher, Josh Feldman, George Newbern, and Obba Babatunde, with voices by Marlowe Peyton as Jingle, Tatiana Gudegast as Hope, Aidan Gemme as Noble, and G. Hannelius as Charity. Directed by Robert Vince and written by Robert Vince and Anna McRoberts.

This is the 13th film in the Air Bud franchise, the prior films are: Air Bud (1997), Air Bud: Golden Receiver (1998), Air Bud: World Pup (2000), Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch (2002), Air Bud: Spikes Back (2003), Air Buddies (2006), Snow Buddies (2008), Space Buddies (2009), Santa Buddies (2009), The Search for Santa Paws (2010), Spooky Buddies (2011), and Treasure Buddies (2012)

Just wait until we get Marvel Buddies, where all the puppies team up in super hero costumes to fight alien puppies with the power of love. You know it will happen. You know it.

Santa Paws 2 Santa Pups

Next year will be The Krampus Pups!

Source – StitchKingdom via @rwmead

Driving Miss Daisy Towards the Meaning of Life

Driving Miss Daisy Towards the Meaning of Life


1989
Written by Alfred Uhry
Directed by Bruce Beresford


Throughout history one question has torn through mankind like a knife through butter. “Why are we here?” It seems a simple question that should easily be answered. But the answers do not come easily. Theories abound, all sorts of proofs exist, millions of people have spent countless hours and resources in search of the answer to this ultimate question. For many, they never find the answer they are looking for. They’ll never find out what it all means.

But have some people have learned the key? It seems that way. Not because they are smart or geniuses, but because they lived their lives and came to the answer. Sometimes the answers are all around you, you just need to be able to appreciate them. Sometime answers are just on the other side of the mirror.

The main journey in Driving Miss Daisy is a 25 year lesson on learning to find and appreciate the answers. Sure, it’s primarily the story of an older Jewish widow and her black driver in the South from 1948-1973, but that’s only the window dressing. You have to come along for the ride to see the destination. And, no, only one person gets to look at the map!