Dark Secrets

Dark Secrets

Dark Secrets

Dark Secrets
2013
Written by Tina Hawthorne
Directed by David Barber

Dark Secrets

That’s not how you tell secrets!


Relationships relationships relationships. And also hot sex. Mainline Releasing drops another cool script from Tina Hawthorne that takes another softcore film on a deep introspective journey to look at the relationships of the people who are its subjects. The dissection is so complete that a major character is a group couples therapist, who helps the various pairings with their issues. Some things can be dealt with, and some relationships aren’t worth saving.

Be warned, audience, Dark Secrets might actually make you think for a bit! Sure, it’s got naked people being nude with each other, but also people talk and learn give and takes of relationships. Thus becoming stronger as they learn to work with each other. Sure, a few of the compromises get simplified to just boning each other, but there is a quota of sex scenes we need to fill here, people!

Two relationships have problems in that both members each have their own little things that need to get ironed out. So the therapy session helps because they have a chance to discuss it, instead of just getting angry and exploding at each other. The group couples therapy would seem to be advantageous because you can see similarities to facets of your own relationship when you hear others talk about theirs. But you might also learn things you don’t really want to know about your friends, so I don’t suggest jumping right into group couples therapy with all your friends. And every group has that one friend’s significant other that everyone hates. Yes, he’s in this film as well.

Dark Secrets

I hate this painting. HATE!!


David doesn’t quite fit in with the rest of the group because he’s said to be older and doesn’t really care for Marisa’s going to school or doing much of anything except living off of him. David always seems to have the right line to compliment all the other girls, but rarely bothers to connect with Marisa. It is apparent to everyone that Marisa is on her last legs in that relationship, fed up with David’s crap and attempts to control things. David ticks off the other guys at therapy with his empty platitudes, coming out at a disadvantage while Marisa becomes more empowered by the sessions. It’s clear that being around other people helps give Marisa confidence, something David isn’t too keen on, as confidence means she won’t be doing what he says. David’s personality is more complicated at first, but by the end of the film he becomes cartoonishly evil. A switch goes off once Marisa becomes free, and David can’t handle it, can’t handle the being out of control. The Dark Secret of David is he’s a violent sociopath!

Marisa (Jayden Cole) – Young student dating the much older David, who seems like he knows all the answers, but really doesn’t know much, especially about Marisa. But he does know how to be disturbingly violent if Marisa brakes up with him… Jayden Cole is also in Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros, Bikini Frankenstein, and Naughty Reunion.
David (Billy Chappell) – Oh. That guy.
Felicia (Heather Vahn) – Marisa and Bree’s friend, her boyfriend Max spends all his time working on his laptop and being passive aggressive when she tries to drag him to group couples therapy. Felicia is worried about the time Max spends not paying attention to her and her needs. As this is pre-boob job Heather Vahn, it also helps date how long ago this was filmed vs. being released. Heather Vahn also stars in the political thriller Grab and Bind: Heather Vahn, Political Prisoner
Max (Michael Vegas) – Felicia’s boyfriend who is probably very busy with work right now, though if you are a naked Felicia he can pause a bit to have sex with you. Does not like David. At all. Michael Vegas sweeps the leg in The Karate Kid XXX: A DreamZone Parody.
Bree (Victoria White) – Marisa and Felicia’s friend who helps convince Marisa to bring David to therapy. Defends some of David’s statements (because they compliment her) though eventually makes up with her boyfriend. This relationship only seems to need therapy because Brian is angry 24/7. Victoria White also appears in Sexual Quest.
Brian (Richard Lounello) – Bree’s boyfriend. Is constantly angry. About everything. Has HUGE ears. Does not like David. At all. Richard Lounello also appears in Battledogs.
Dr. Serena Daniels (Kelli McCarty) – Therapist who hosts group couples therapy sessions, which are as exciting as you think they would be to be in. Despite being a trained psychologist, she’s not above having sex with her patients. Let’s hope the California Board of Psychology doesn’t watch this movie! Kelli McCarty is also in The Teenie Weenie Bikini Squad
Dark Secrets

How dare you criticize my Naruto/Pokemon slash fic!

Bounty Killer DVD giveaway! (Ended)


EDIT: The contest has ended. Congrats to the winner and thanks to all the entrants, more than I expected! There will be more contests soon!

Who wants free stuff? Sure, we all do. And you can win a free DVD of Bounty Killer by just following the simple rules laid out below. We’ve been given this opportunity to give away a DVD provided by PartnersHub in exchange for posting the Bounty Killer blog app you see above. Bounty Hunter is on VOD and limited theatrical release now, and the DVD comes out in October.

It’s been 20 years since the corporations took over the world’s governments. Their thirst for power and profits led to the corporate wars, a fierce global battle that laid waste to society as we know it. Born from the ash, the Council of Nine rose as a new law and order for this dark age. To avenge the corporations’ reckless destruction, the Council issues death warrants for all white collar criminals. Their hunter’s – the BOUNTY KILLER. From amateur savage to graceful assassin, the BOUNTY KILLER’S now compete for body count, fame and a fat stack of cash. They’re ending the plague of corporate greed by exterminating the self serving CEO and providing the survivors of the apocalypse with retribution. These are the new heroes. This is the age of the BOUNTY KILLER.

That sounds pretty trippy. Like a reality show wild west mad max revenge of the 99% film. Or a comic book. I have not seen the film so I can’t attest to if it is any good or not.

To win the DVD, all you have to do is email me ( tarstarkas [at] tarstarkas.net ) with your name and address by the end of September 15th, 2013. I’ll pick a winner at random (via random.org) and send that info in and a DVD should arrive by magic. Or the mail service (USPS or FedEx) Confirmed from the company that US and Candada entrants only please, and they don’t accept PO Boxes. I will not use any of the names/addresses I get beyond picking a random winner (I can’t promise what PartnersHub will do with the winner) Any other questions feel free to ask below or via email. This is the first time I’ve worked with PartnersHub, but hopefully this can be a semiregular thing when the films are of-interest to the readership here. The Bounty Killer DVD is supplied by PartnersHub/Bounty Killer, at no cost to TarsTarkas.NET.

Bride with White Hair Part 2

Tom Yum Goong 2 trailers and posters


Media for the upcoming Tom Yum Goong 2 has begun appearing online. First up was a first trailer, followed by the above-embedded second teaser. In addition, the Tom Yum Goong 2 facebook page has been posting character posters, which are posted below. There are posters for Tony Jaa as Kham, Jija Yanin as Pingping (who uses flying needles), Petchai Wongkamlao as Sgt. Mark, Ying Ratha as No. 20, RZA as Mr. LC, and Marrese Crump as No. II. The stunts look amazing, and I hope this troubled production pulls together and turns into something magical. Really pulling for this one.

via WiseKwai

Tom Yum Goong 2 Tony Jaa

Tom Yum Goong 2 Ying Ratha

Tom Yum Goong 2 Jija Yanin

Tom Yum Goong 2 Petchtai Wongkamlao

Tom Yum Goong 2 Marrese Crump

Tom Yum Goong 2 RZA

Godzilla Marvel 24

A Sister's Nightmare this Saturday on Lifetime!

A Sister's Nightmare

She’s serving broccoli, that’s the real nightmare!


If you liked Stoker and wanted to watch a made-for-tv version of a similar tale, then A Sister’s Nightmare is your Lifetime fix this Saturday at 8 (7 central).

Sibling rivalry returns to torment Jane, a young police officer, after her older sister Cass is released from the state hospital for the criminally insane. Cass begins showing an increasing interest in getting back her daughter whom Jane has been raising. Unable to convince others her sister is still dangerous, and wanting to protect her niece, the young police officer takes matters into her own hands and goes after her sister herself.

Yes, Natasha Henstridge plays the criminally insane sister Cass. So I’m just going to imagine this is an offshoot of the Species movies. Do we still use “criminally insane” to describe people these days? Kelly Rutherford, Peyton List, and Matthew Settle also star.

As an added bonus, there is a code that will air during the premiere that you can use to enter in a Lifetime sweepstakes for $1000. Lifetime, the network that bribes– I mean, the network that pays!

via Lifetime

Starring: Kelly Rutherford, Natasha Henstridge, Peyton List, Matthew Settle

Jim Wynorski lands on Kickstarter for Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre!

Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre

In our continuing quest to post some Kickstarters I bookmarked while making fun of a certain uncool news site’s Kickstarter, up comes Jim Wynorski and Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre, coproduced by Polyscope Media Group out of Indiana. The title is something that seems destined to trend on Twitter when it airs on SyFy. Not only that, but Sharkansas features one of the top ten freakiest sharks, Helicoprion! Oddly enough, Jim and Fred Olen Ray did not conspire to both be on Kickstarter at the same time, it’s just an amazing coincidence!

Sharks on land! Hunting victims from just below the earth’s surface! Yes, you heard that right….prehistoric sharks are on the attack in Arkansas. And a shapely work gang from the women’s prison there suddenly find themselves at the center of the terrifying situation. A local fracking crew has accidently cracked open a section of the earth’s mantle, allowing a swarm of prehistoric land sharks to head upwards from an underground ocean in search of new victims. So after a suspenseful escape, the five gorgeous prisoners find themselves not only on the run from the law…but a horde of blood thirsty hell bent creatures as well. Trapped in a remote fishing cabin hundreds of miles from civilization, the curvy quintet must use both their wits and wiles to elude the jaws of death swimming just outside in the front yard. You’ll meet Honey, a fiery spinner armed with a smokin’ pair of .38s. Standing close by is her lover Anita, at once both sexy and psychotic. Shannon is the sweet, girl-next-door type…that is if you happen to live next door to a mental institution. Michelle is the girl from the ghetto, street-wise and savvy beyond her years. And finally there’s Sarah, the demolition expert; she’ll blow your mind if you get too close!

Sounds like much of the process is already figured out, they just need some moolah to finance the production. So if you are a fan of women prisoners battling prehistoric sharks, then you know what to do!

Official Site
Kickstarter

Na Cha Seven Devils

Spidora – Fred Olen Ray takes to Kickstarter for freak show short film!

Spidora

Browsing Kickstarter through the Movies category is its own measure of pain, what with the endless “dark” fan films and nerd convention documentaries seeking funding, drowning out the actual interesting projects. So it’s time to salute things that may be of interest to longtime readers of TarsTarkas.NET.

Illustrious filmmaker Fred Olen Ray has taken to Kickstarter to raise funds for a short film called Spidora. Now, we have reviewed a Fred Olen Ray movie or two (or 20), so you might say we are a fan. This will be Fred Olen Ray’s first short film, and the aim is for it to be theatrically released.

In a strange twilight world that exists between the light of day and the enveloping darkness a young drifter falls in love with a Freak Show Lobster Girl who believes that Spidora, the Spider Girl, is trying to kill her.

SPIDORA is a dark journey inside the world of Dr. Graves’ Palace of Illusions; a Museum of Human Oddities where mysterious creatures like Electra, Spidora and Mora, the Lobster Girl, command the stage. It is a world trapped between light and shadow where anything can happen… and does.

Yes, circus sideshows, Spider Girls, and Lobster Girls. Sounds fantastic. Ray is a big fan of circuses and sideshow (which has a long and interesting past association with B-movies and roadshow/drive-in cinema, another thing that Ray is very much a huge fan of!) Jerry Lacy is attached so far. So check out the project if you are so inclined. And hope it does better than “the darkest Joker Trilogy ever!!!”, an actual Kickstarter project I refuse to link to.

Official Site
Facebook
Kickstarter