Muppets Most Wanted

The Muppets show how to make a proper Twitter trailer!


Muppets Most Wanted breaks out everyone’s favorite recent staple, a trailer with Twitter quotes. But unlike all the rest of the commercials, the Muppets own this phenomenon. The delightful twitter quotes will make you want to rush to the theaters now and get in line to watch Muppets Most Wanted when it comes out March 21 hashtag YOLO sideways winky face.

In Muppets Most Wanted, Kermit is replaced by a master criminal with a weird accent, who is planning nefarious deeds, and the Muppets are caught in the middle.

Muppets Most Wanted

Lifetime Channel owns January – Flowers in the Attic, Lizzie Borden, and Tiger Eyes!

Lifetime is on a spree of interesting new made for tv movies, including two high profile January events, and one that’s not as high profile just because the other two are so much bigger.

January 11th will give us Tiger Eyes – yes, based on the book by Judy Blume! Don’t tell me you didn’t read it as a kid. Tiger Eyes stars Willa Holland, Amy Jo Johnson, and Cynthia Stevenson .

17-year-old Davey’s life has been ripped apart by the sudden loss of her father. Uprooted by her mother to the strange “atom bomb” town of Los Alamos, New Mexico, she meets the mysterious Wolf and sets out on a journey from heartbreak and confusion to life and love after tragedy. Based on the classic novel, “Tiger Eyes” by Judy Blume.

In addition to some live-action Judy Blume, don’t forget January 18th brings us Flowers in the Attic! We posted a trailer in our last Lifetime update.

Based on V.C. Andrews’ controversial book that quickly became a cult classic, the Lifetime Original Movie “Flowers in the Attic” weaves the twisted story of the Dollanganger kids who, after the unexpected death of their father, are convinced by their mother Corrine (Heather Graham) to stay hidden in the attic of their wealthy grandparents’ mansion so she can reclaim the family fortune. But as her visits begin to wane after she becomes involved with a new husband (Dylan Bruce), the children endure unimaginable treatment at the hands of their ruthless grandmother Olivia Foxworth (Ellen Burstyn). As years go by and the eldest children Cathy (Kiernan Shipka) and Christopher (Mason Dye) come of age, both emotionally and physically, their family’s sordid past entraps them further as they look to each other for comfort.

Then break out your grinding stones, because January 25th is the premiere of Lizzie Borden Took an Axe! Christina Ricci plays the titular character.

The nursery rhyme “Lizzie Borden took an ax…and gave her mother forty whacks…when she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one” has been folklore for generations. But, in fact, it was Lizzie Borden — one of the most legendary figures in American history — who first whetted the public’s voracious interest in scandalous crimes in the 1800s with her own gruesome story involving the brutal murder of her parents. Starring Golden Globe® and Emmy® Award nominee Christina Ricci (Monster), Golden Globe® Nominee Billy Campbell (The Killing) and Screen Actors Guild Award® winner Clea DuVall (Argo), the Lifetime Original Movie Lizzie Borden Took An Ax premieres January 25, 2014, at 8pm ET/PT.

January is the Month of Lifetime, and since SyFy can’t get their act together to premiere more cool creature features, Lifetime is now the biggest network in original movies.

via Lifetime

Tiger Eyes

Hey, there are no tigers here!

Life of Whoopie Pie Cookie Monster

Sesame Street presents Life of Whoopie Pie

Sesame Street reveals their latest entry in their movie parody line, with a take on Life of Pi called Life of Whoopie Pie

Whoopie Pie and Cookie Monster are stranded in the middle of the ocean, but luckily they have a boat made of chocolate chip cookies they can try to row back to land in…a boat made of chocolate chip cookies?! Can Cookie Monster control himself and not eat the boat? Find out in Life of Whoopie Pie.

Yes, it is a tale of learning about controlling yourself. Something Cookie Monster obviously needs lessons in, even if he isn’t trapped in the ocean on a boat made out of cookies. The lessons learned will teach your children to not eat their own boats when they are trapped at sea, something that just might save their lives someday!

In other news, I really want a bunch of cookies! Good thing I can control myself (because nowhere nearby is selling cookies…)

Cookie Monster Life of Whoopie Pie

Apocalypse Pompeii – Asylum decides to destroy Pompeii their way!

One of the biggest destruction porn spectacles of 2014 will be Pompeii. And while Pompeii looks like boring garbage, disaster movies play well on the DTV market. Enter Asylum, and their mockbusters Apocalypse Pompeii!

Apocalypse Pompeii (aka Obsidian) might be one of those interesting Asylum films that’s better than the film it is biting off. But the truth won’t be known until next month, as the DVD/BluRay drops February 18th.

The plot:

When a former Special Ops commando visits Pompeii, his wife and daughter are trapped as Mt. Vesuvius erupts with massive force. While his family fights to survive the deadly onslaught of heat and lava, he enlists his former teammates in a daring operation beneath the ruins of the city of Pompeii.

Special forces team vs. Volcano! Adrian Paul stars along with John Rhys-Davies. It’s directed by Ben Demaree, who has done camera/director of photography work on a ton of genre films (Jersey Shore Shark Attack, Bigfoot, something called Wolf Man vs Piranha Man: Howl of the Piranha that I never knew existed and now need to track down), this is his first full length directorial job.

But if you like seeing stuff get blowed up, people get lavaed, and special forces people running around while shouting “Move move move!”, then Apocalypse Pompeii should fill your needs nicely!

Asylum link

Apocalypse Pompeii

Airplane vs Volcano brings the battle we've all been waiting for!

Airplane vs Volcano

Just when you thought disaster movies couldn’t be wacky enough, now they’ve gone to fight mode! Airplane vs. Volcano is not a weird double feature of unrelated films, but instead the new Asylum films where a plane is trapped by a bunch of volcanoes. Because that happens. Don’t laugh, or you will be the one trapped on a plane surrounded by volcanoes!

At least they aren’t surrounded by Sharknadoes!

When a commercial airliner is trapped within a ring of erupting volcanoes, the passengers and crew must find a way to survive – without landing.

Never fear, Dean Cain himself is there to save the day! Also Robin Givens, who is the fiercest volcano battler the world has ever seen! No trailer I could find as of yet, but there is still time!

James and Jon Kondelik wrote and direct. This is their first co-directing film, but both have been involved in numerous Asylum productions from editing to writing to casting.

Airplane vs. Volcano hits DVD/VOD May 27, 2014, and might even see a limited theatrical run on March 28!

Maybe next time Airplane will fight Mecha-Volcano!

Asylum link

Asylum breaks out the Jailbait

Jailbait Asylum

Asylum is back again, with their own take on the women in prison genre. Based on the graphic novel 17 & Life: Jailbait, Jailbait features a young girl thrown behind bars and forced to deal with practically every exploitation film’s vision of a women’s prison. Of course, they’re comparing it to Orange in the New Black, because never waste an opportunity to cross-promote!

After killing her stepfather in self-defense, Anna Nix is sent to a juvenile detention center. As she struggles to survive in a world of girl gangs and predatory guards, Anna must fight her dark side and stay above the fray.

Here is the slightly NSFW trailer – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WR-ouRYzlm8

Jailbait stars Sara Malakul Lane (Sharktopus), Steve Hanks, Shannon Walters, David Brite, Samantha Cardona, and Erin O’Brien. It’s directed by Jared Cohn (Atlantic Rim, 12/12/12)

Jailbait releases February 18, 2014

Asylum link
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