The Good Mistress lifetime

The Good Mistress vs. The Evil Man on Lifetime!

The Good Mistress lifetime

I’m so good when I’m so bad!


Men suck, luckily Lifetime brings The Good Mistress in to take down one such evil man:

Sandy, a young woman struggling to recover from alcoholism and a tragic automobile accident caused by her addiction, moves to a new town where her high school friend, Karen, has offered her a job. After becoming involved with a mysterious gentleman, Sandy soon finds herself in jeopardy when she discovers that he is actually Karen’s husband, Sam, a candidate in the county elections and a suspect in a murder investigation.

Geez, Sandy, way to pick a good one there! Sam runs the gauntlet of being a Lifetime Channel Evil Man – cheats on his wife, good guy persona, secret murderer, is named Sam, politician. By the time he’s killed at the end of the film (or thrown in jail, either one), we’ll all be screaming for him to go down.

The Good Mistress stars Annie Heise, Kendra Anderson, Antonio Cupo, but there isn’t a lot of information about it out right now except that synopsis. Seriously, it’s on in two weeks, maybe you could get a little bit of publicity information out, Lifetime? This one small image isn’t going to cut it! All we know is the title is designed to make us think of The Good Wife, which this sounds suspiciously like it was the starting idea they created their own film from.

The Good Mistress premieres February 15th on Lifetime!

The Girl he Met Online Lifetime

The Girl He Met Online is more internet danger tales from Lifetime!

The Girl he Met Online Lifetime

The dangers of meeting women online include spraypaint!


People on Lifetime need to stop meeting people online, because The Girl He Met Online is like the fourth “Met Online” movie where horrible horrible things happen. Instead of OKCupid, they get NO-KCupid! Just last year we got The Husband She Met Online, and before that was The Boy She Met Online and The Wife He Met Online. This is a franchise no one knew about, but everyone needs to know about. Stay away from the online!

Sexy 23-year-old Gillian has no trouble attracting men, but her bipolar moods scare them off. Once dumped, her anger knows no bounds. She’s on better behavior with man-of-her-dreams Andy, until her boss and mother push her into a corner and Andy’s sister dies as a result. The only question now is whether Andy himself will fall prey to the girl he met online.

Will she get him, with her online anger? Let’s hope so, because online rage in movie form can only be awesome. Lifetime continues their reign as the only major original television movie source still standing, and films like these will keep it a source of entertainment for years to come!

The Girl He Met Online stars Yvonne Zima, Mary-Margaret Humes, and Shawn Roberts, and premieres February 8th on Lifetime.

The Gabby Douglas Story Lifetime

Lifetime brings The Gabby Douglas Story!

The Gabby Douglas Story Lifetime

Lifetime starts off February with The Gabby Douglas Story, a biopic about the gymnast Olympian who won gold in the 2012 games. Imani Hakim plays the teenage Gabby Douglas, with Regina King as her mother and S. Epatha Merkerson as her grandma. I’ve always been a fan of women’s gymnastics, even if I don’t follow the sport regularly much any more, it’s always interesting to watch. Douglas overcame sickness, poverty, and discrimination to become a champion.

A prodigy from a very young age, Gabby Douglas originally made her mark on the world of competitive gymnastics at age eight. She won numerous state championship titles in her age group throughout her early competitive career. While her star was fast rising in the arena, Gabby and her family faced economic challenges at home and she made the difficult decision to leave her mother Natalie, three siblings and grandmother in Virginia Beach and move to Des Moines, Iowa, to train with renowned coach Liang Chow to pursue her dream of Olympic glory. Buoyed by her early success, dedication and unyielding love from her family, Gabby made it onto the 2012 U.S. Women’s Gymnastics team, with whom she faced intense competition in the London Games. Her sacrifice and perseverance were triumphantly rewarded with Team Competition and Individual All-round gold medals, placing Gabby and her teammates – known as “The Fierce Five” — among the world’s all-time greats in gymnastics.

A review from the AVClub mentioned that the film glosses over some of the discrimination Douglas encountered. Both Douglas and her mother consulted/executive produced the film’s production.

The Gabby Douglas Story airs February 1st. Via Lifetime

Carrie Ng

Carrie Ng and Shirley Yung make their directorial debuts with Angel Whispers

Carrie Ng

The 12th Hong Kong Asia Film Financing Forum (HAF) announced their list of films they are funding, and the list is full of potentially cool projects. But the project that stands out is Angel Whispers, which will be the directorial debuts of Carrie Ng Ka-Lai (吳家麗) and Shirley Yung Sau-lan (翁秀蘭). Of the 25 project winners, 5 of them have female directors or co-directors. There is also Lina Yang for Forgive Me, Dechen Roder for The Honeygiver Among the Dogs (Bhutan), Fazila Amiri for Hip Hop Kabul (a documentary), Birgitte Sigmundstad (with Sherman Ong) for Lucy and I (a documentary)

Carrie Ng is best known for starring in a string of genre pictures, including Naked Killer. Shirley Yung has spent much of her career being a production manager and planner on a lot of popular Hong Kong films. It will be interesting to see how both of them use their experience on Angel Whispers. The film is about a group of prostitutes who battle the Triad over ownership of a building slated to be demolished, and soon someone begins killing the women.

The amount of woman directors is painfully small (and awesome words on that subject were written recently by Lexi Alexander), so it’s good to see some of them breaking through in Asian cinema, even if there is a long way to go.

The HAF selects projects from all around Asia, with this year having winners from China, Japan, Bhutan, Afghanistan, Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia, Philippines, and Taiwan. A full list of winners is available on the HAF site and by pdf.

via FilmBizAsia

Choose Your Own Adventure Abominable Snowman

Adventure is a choice, and you must choose wisely…

Because not every ending is a happy one! Time to wig out and wonder how they’re gonna pull something off, because Choose Your Own Adventure is coming to the big screen. As in an actual film, not a multiple-choice DVD (which exists!) Robert Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon continue their spree of writing half of the films coming out in Hollywood (assuming the deal closes), while Rawson Marshall Thurber is attached to direct.

There is no work on exactly how they are going to translate this to film. The choices are:

1- Make patrons walk from theater to theater based on their choices – “If you want to find the Ruby Skull, go to Theater #3. If you want to battle the Fire Gnomes, go to Theater #5”

2- Do a sort of Run, Lola, Run style film, where we see events play out multiple times based on different choices (which would result in multiple bad endings that we can just reset!) Make the main character a precog or something, but different than that Nic Cage movie.

3- Do a campfire round table similar to Rashomon, with characters telling the same events with different choices. (hat tip to @RacattackForce)

4- Invent some sort of device where the audience votes on what happens next, like was in Futurama and I think was an actual gimmick for a real movie (and the voting machines did nothing, IIRC. I can’t find any information on if I am remembering this correctly!)

5- Ignore the choice aspect entirely, become a generic film. The safest and lamest solution.

Besides the lack of information on how they will pull it off, there is no information on which of the many many books they will be using (if any), which offer a dream choice of almost any genre imaginable.

I do hope they at least have monsters show up, like this one I remember: The Abominable Snowman. Because we need more monsters in films! Whatever they choose for Choose Your Own Adventure, it better be the correct ending!

Choose Your Own Adventure Abominable Snowman

via THR

merica mustach

America is the perfect film to take your mistress to!

“America” Trailer from Dinesh D'Souza on Vimeo.

After you use her to make illegal campaign contributions, naturally! Excuse me…”alleged” illegal campaign contributions. We all know what happened with our favorite awful documentary filmmaker of the week, Dinesh D’Souza, after his opus 2016: Obama’s America totally won the election for the Republicans in 2012. Which is to say the movie did nothing but part conservatives of their cash while D’Souza cheated on his wife. Grifting is a fine tradition among conservative groups, you might say it is their only tradition, and all the religion and patriotism they wrap themselves up in is just the camouflage they need to take more money from more people. And as 2016 made $33 million, of course a sequel is rushed into production, even as D’Souza’s personal life dissolves into scandal after scandal.

America will feature D’Souza arguing that all that bad stuff America did – Indian genocide, slavery, imperialistic wars, income inequality – is totally cool because “America”. Okay, I don’t know what his real argument is, because he doesn’t bother to even mention a theory except lay out a pretty good breakdown of Leftist arguments, complete with images of homeless people in the shadow of Wall Street, without realize he’s being ironic. Granted, D’Souza does state that radical leftist politics is identical to modern Progressivism, which is laughable. I wish Obama was 1/100th as socialist as he’s painted by the Right, then maybe we wouldn’t be cutting food stamps yet again. But never fear, D’Souza does blame colleges and public schools for indoctrinating our youth, which will speak to the Christian homeschoolers that will make up the bulk of the target audience. I’m sure Movie to Movement will be used to pack theaters with audiences directly from church, like 2016 was. Even then, D’Souza blamed an imaginary conspiracy on why he didn’t make even more money.

This synopsis is slightly different from when America was announced, which was then:

In America, D’Souza intends to re-create some famous moments in American history and ask the question: What would the world be like if the U.S. had not existed? He likened America, in fact, to Frank Capra’s 1946 film It’s a Wonderful Life, in which George Bailey learns what his town would have been like had he never lived.
“President Obama looks at America as an oppressive force,” D’Souza said, “while I and millions of others around the world have a different view: that America has been a great blessing to its own people and to the world.”

Whatever movie we get, July 4th will certainly be a day I go see fireworks instead of this! It’s my own little conspiracy…

merica mustach