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Cody the Robosapien – A Robosapien movie was completed!?!
The robot R.O.B. made fun of on the playground!
Remember long ago when there were robot dinosaurs at that store in the mall that sold expensive office things that’s somehow still around in this terrible economy? And then there was a robot guy, and then they all disappeared and this was 2004? Well, that robot is now a slightly different robot and a movie that was announced so long ago I had forgotten about it has been completed. Cody the Robosapien (formerly Robosapien: Rebooted) has hit trailer and will soon hit theaters where you can not go see it and it will bomb like it’s Ben Affleck in Phantoms!
Henry isn’t the most popular kid in school. So, when he comes across a broken robot named Cody, things start to look up. After fixing him, Henry discovers that Cody isn’t your average automaton — he’s a highly intelligent search and rescue robot!
The new friendship looks like it may be brought to an abrupt end however, when the military lab that created Cody tries to seize him back. When they then kidnap Henry’s mother and Cody’s inventor, it’s up to one boy and his robot to outwit their captors and save the day!
From the producer of Spider Man, X-Men and Iron Man, and co-starring David Eigenberg (Sex And The City) and Penelope Ann Miller (the multi Oscar winning, The Artist), Robosapien blends fast-paced action and mischievous humour to create a rollercoaster ride of an adventure that all the family will love!
Just once I want to meet a bullied kid who then gets bullied by the robot/gremlin/troll/Munchie/Gooby that befriends him. Also this may be where that rumored Short Circuit remake ended up, because the plot sounds very similar…
And it’s directed by Sean McNamara, who you might recall directed Bratz and also directed the upcoming Baby Geniuses movies Baby Geniuses and the Mystery of the Crown Jewels, Baby Geniuses and the Treasures of Egypt, and Baby Geniuses and the Space Baby!
The Crow remake is now Invisible Bible Ghost Cop: The Movie!
The remake of The Crow somehow sprung back to life the past few weeks as it was offered to a bunch of established actors, all of which wisely passed. But someone had to bite the bullet, and that someone was Luke Evans, who is on the cusp of becoming someone well-known (he’s appearing in the upcoming Fast and Furious 6, The Hobbit prequels, and the Dracula prequel), but all that attention will turn into disappointment as The Crow (remake) is turning into the biggest fiasco since the last biggest fiasco! (John Carter, The Lone Ranger, Jack the Giant Slayer, take your pick) A new script review of the current draft by Latino Review has pointed out a few flaws with the current script. Basically, it sucks worse than anything has ever sucked before, even the DTV The Crow sequels!
Unfortunately for me, the review is in video format. But thanks to the magic of someone else watching it and giving a summary (thanks, Bloody Disgusting!) we have an idea of the main reason I’m talking about this:
Eric Draven is now a bible quoting police officer (not a rock musician) who has to paint his face because he’s invisible
Now, I’m no The Crow super-fan and have no real dog in this fight re: respecting the original source. Hence my call to action – WE MUST DO EVERYTHING IN OUR POWER TO GET INVISIBLE BIBLE GHOST COP: THE MOVIE MADE!! This film will be the beginning and end of awful ridiculousness, and it must be born!
Enter the Scarlet Samurai: Incarnation
Scarlet Samurai: Incarnation comes from the mind of Tara Cardinal, who stars, co-wrote, and co-directed the film. It’s her second feature after Legend of the Red Reaper, one of the films we mentioned in the 69 Must See Flicks from The American Film Market post. If you are a fan of complicated plots involving twin sisters and Chinese vampires, then Scarlet Samurai: Incarnation is made for you! Also if you like women running around with swords kicking lots of butt, then Scarlet Samurai: Incarnation is also made for you! The trailer looks like some good clean bloody fun and there are dudes in rubber monster masks, which is always a sign of a film I will watch. The real reason to watch will be the fantasy action sequences, and hopefully Scarlet Samurai: Incarnation will deliver with some fun fighting.
So let’s check the plot synopsis:
Scarlet Samurai: Incarnation is the second super hero movie from the twisted fantasies of Tara Cardinal. Produced by Hollywood martial artist Sean Wyn and New York horror guru David Williams, it’s a new Asian-inspired horror/action feature..
Five reckless college kids on an urban archaeological expedition uncover a preternatural evil, and discover only a legend can fight a myth..
Almost a century ago, the Buffalo Central Terminal was cursed. Eighty years (and 922 missing persons) later, we find Ikari trying to follow in her (missing) father’s archaeological footsteps. But Ikari–a part Chinese, part Japanese, half Jewish lesbian–has problems. She’s suicidal, her girlfriend dumped her, she’s failing her classes, she’s about to lose her scholarship, her twin sister Feng is a samurai with supernatural abilities, and, on top of it all, she still lives with her Jewish mother (Maria Olsen).
To keep Ikari and his other students from failing, Professor Harrison sends them on a quick “in and out” field expedition to the Terminal. Along for what should be a fast and fun exploration are Ikari’s best friend and gay fashion photographer Michael, goth martial artist Tavy, mild-mannered T.A. Lindsey, and Ikari’s recently estranged ex-girlfriend Becks. But Ikari has other ideas… obsessed with her father’s research and trying desperately, if not comically, to get her blonde, beautiful, and cold ex-girlfriend back, she unknowingly leads the team deeper and deeper into the ominous 17-story building…
…and right into the lair of the Jiang Shi.
Considered by Western Culture to be a myth, the zombie-like Jiang Shi is an undead demon that sucks Chi (the life force) from its victims while torturing, raping, and paralyzing them with its venomous claws. And now it is after them.
Samurai-in-training Feng, psychically linked to her twin sister Ikari, races to the Terminal to save Ikari and her friends from the Jiang Shi and its endless horde of undead minions. To defeat the mythical creature Ikari and Feng will have to join forces to become a legend. Because it takes a Legend to fight a Myth.
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Joe Dirt 2 better have MORE dog balls frozen to the porch!
Warm up your testicles, because we’re getting a sequel to Joe Dirt! Yes, it’s true, and not just any type of sequel, it’s a sequel that will premier on Crackle! Yes, Crackle. Crackle. Crackle…the web streaming video site? TV shows and movies? That Crackle? Okay, now we are on the same page. Crackle is getting into the independent programming game and released a press sheet detailing their shows, most of which I don’t care about, except for this entry about Joe Dirt: The Sequel:
JOE DIRT: THE SEQUEL
Comedy Feature
The long-awaited sequel to the cult favorite David Spade comedy JOE DIRT will break new ground as the first made for digital movie that is a sequel to a hit motion picture. Spade will also star in the sequel, which will pick-up where the film left off, following the comedic misadventures of the mullet-clad, lovable redneck, “Joe Dirt.” The project will be written and executive produced by Spade and Fred Wolf and directed by Wolf.
via Indiewire
Dark Roar is kids vs saber-toothed panther!
There are never enough kids horror films. Not that society is any less horrible, it’s just that it is more taboo to expose things perfectly designed to star kids in horror situations, but yet perfectly acceptable to bring those same young kids to R rated movies full of murder and more murder. Enter Dark Roar, a take on the kids getting spooked genre where a pair of children encounter a genetically created saber-toothed panther that has a hunger for young kids. As they flee for their lives, we learn more about the corporate conspiracy that created the beast. Dark Roar was funded via Kickstarter, and is proving to be an actual Kickstarter success story as their movie is becoming reality. There are plenty of production pictures on the various Dark Roar sites.
It looks like some good fun, a type of creeping horror we don’t get too much of these days. It’s British origins and Kickstarter model means it will be a far cry from the standard SyFy fare, which would have seen actors from Stargate and a title like PantherTooth. Which isn’t a bad title, I’ll just steal my own idea right now…
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Blackrock Films
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via DreadCentral
