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Snakehead Swamp SyFy

Bring your hip waders for Snakehead Swamp on SyFy!

Snakehead Swamp SyFy

I think I saw this dude riding the bus last week…


This year is the 10th anniversary of when SyFy (then known as SciFi Channel) aired two separate snakehead fish original movies in the same year: Frankenfish and Snakehead Terror. What better way to celebrate this anniversary than with another SyFy snakehead film, Snakehead Swamp!

Snakehead Swamp stars Ayla Kell(Make It or Break It), Antonio Fargas(Starsky and Hutch), Terri Garber(As the World Turns), Dave Randolph-Mayhem Davis (Heebie Jeebies and Ghost Shark), and Sloane Coe (Ghost Shark). It’s directed by cinematographer Don E. FauntLeRoy, who also directed Anaconda 3 and 4 and Bering Sea Beast. Writer Greg Mitchell (Official site) has only one other film credit, Amazing Love, but has several books for sale.

The plot:

The Big Easy gets a shake up when snakehead fish terrorize Louisiana’s swamp

Yep. Okay. As this is another Louisiana film, it will be packed with local actors you’ll recognize from all sorts of recent productions taking advantage of tax benefits. Perhaps the snakehead fish will be trying to devour that, in a metacommentary on film production. Or more likely they’ll just eat a bunch of random people, and that will be fun, too!

Snakehead Swamp premieres June 28th on SyFy!

via SyFy

Bruce Lee

Why is the Bruce Lee biopic Birth of the Dragon starring a white guy?

Bruce Lee

The news hit the interwebz recently that a Bruce Lee biopic called Birth of the Dragon is moving forward, with George Nolfi of The Adjustment Bureau fame attached as director. The film will be about Lee’s 1965 duel with martial arts master Wong Jack Man, which ultimately was about whether non-Chinese people should be taught kung fu. Though reports vary on the winner, the accepted view is that Bruce Lee won. It’s in response to this fight that lead Bruce Lee down the road to develop his own martial arts style, Jeet Kune Do, after determining that wing chun wasn’t practical for fighting. So the fight has important historical significance. That’s not the problem, though.

The story of the match is told from the perspective of Steve Macklin, a young disciple of Lee, who ultimately joins forces with Lee and Wong to battle a vicious band of Chinatown gangsters.

Yes, this Bruce Lee biopic about Bruce Lee stars STEVE MACKLIN? Who the fuck is Steve Macklin? I can’t even tell if Steve Macklin is a real person because Google is now filled with hundreds of blogs that copy/pasted the original story. There is no Steve Macklin in this list of students of Bruce Lee’s nor on this section about his Oakland school. I can only conclude that the character of Steve Macklin is fake.

Not only that, I can also conclude that he’s probably white. But even if he’s black, it still leads to the same problem, which is we have a movie about an Asian-American, probably the most famous Asian-American ever, and it can’t even have an Asian star. It’s got to be about a white guy! Did the producers of the The Last Airbender film suddenly get put in charge?

Did I miss an important piece of pop culture where instead of people of all races wearing Bruce Lee shirts and putting up Bruce Lee posters for 40 years, everyone has been wearing Steve Macklin shirts? Again, who the fuck is Steve Macklin?

A Bruce Lee biopic is the last place I would expect yet another example of Hollywood’s reluctance to cast Asian males in leading roles. The Last Airbender is the most famous example of recent casting that eliminates minority roles (and thus spawned that racebending term), other examples include Benedict Cumberbatch as Khan in Star Trek Into Darkness, the film 21 (the guy who wrote the book the film is about is Asian, but white in the film), Mike Myers as an Indian in The Love Guru (shudder!), and Jake Gyllenhaal as the Prince of Persia.

The fact that I’m writing this soon after a weekend where a female-lead movie (Maleficent) did $70 million, followed by a weekend where the female-driven The Fault in Our Stars and Maleficent demolished Tom Cruise’s latest action vehicle at the box office, is especially weird. We can have films with non-white male leads that make money! There are plenty of awesome Asian-American and Asian actors would would make great leads.

A bunch words written on TarsTarkas.NET by some guy with a computer won’t change how Hollywood does business. But it does add to the voices who are pushing back against stupidity. And it is stupid as hell to have a Bruce Lee movie where Bruce Lee isn’t the main character. So who the fuck is Steve Macklin? Someone people DON’T want a movie about!

(No offense to the actual Steve Macklins out there who have nothing to do with this film.)

Make fangs for Vampire Schoolgirls!

Vampire Schoolgirls is a film I found out about by following trails on the IMDB while looking at who starred in what and then looking at their costars and suddenly I’m in films I’ve never heard of. I play the same game with Wikipedia sometimes. Thanks to this film being almost invisible on the internet (and one of the production companies being called “Black Fish Films” that returns only Google results for the film Blackfish), all I know about Vampire Schoolgirls is what is on the imdb page. Which includes a plot synopsis and writer and some stars, but no director. But as Douglas Knox has directed all the shorts he previously wrote, it might be safe to assume he’s directing here. This also looks like his first feature length film.

In a town infested with Vampires, the citizens hire a priest and his team of sexy Vampire Hunters to drive them out, but a new girl in town could be the secret weapon they have been looking for in their war with the vampires.

Listed cast on IMDB: Christiana Leucas, Catherine Annette, Jessica Andres, Matthew Ashford, Lindsay Lamb, Dawn Michaels, Craig Michaelson, Lana Kirata, Kristin Elliott, Victoria Levine, Patrick Coleman Duncan, and Jamie Suraci. Vampire Schoolgirls has a 2015 release date scheduled, we’ll keep you in the know if further developments develop!

The Mentor Lifetime

The Mentor – Lifetime meets evil, and it’s a man!

The Mentor Lifetime

Lifetime is taking a break from novel adaptations and play adaptations and killer internet tales to go old school, and by that I mean breaking out the evil evil men! The Mentor features an obsessed stalker coworker who acts as a mentor to his victim. Throw in a dead kid and a stressed marriage, and this is like a superflu version of a regular Lifetime film, multiple plots rolled into one! Hopefully it’s far more fun than Captain Trips…

The Mentor is yet another film written by Lifetime super-star Christine Conradt, who must be single-handedly keeping Lifetime in the movie business by the rate that she keeps pumping out scripts! Director Anthony Lefresne has directed Another Man’s Wife and the upcoming Guilty at 17 (another in the at 17 series!)

Battlestar Galactica alum Aaron Douglas plays the stalker/mentor Paul Allenham, Jes Macallan plays the woman who gets an awful coworker, and Nic Bishop plays her estranged husband.

For some reason there isn’t much about this film at all on Lifetime’s site, they are barely acknowledging it’s a new film and have skipped on to promoting Outlaw Prophet: Warren Jeffs, and the only promo shot is an image so bad even Aaron Douglas has made fun of it! But TarsTarkas.NET is on the case, and that shot is the one at the top of this article!

Elizabeth May tries to put the loss of her eight-year-old daughter behind her by going back to teaching. Under the stress of the tragedy her husband Brian May has moved out while Elizabeth is desperate to save her marriage and return to a life of normalcy. In her new job she is assigned a mentor, Paul Allenham, who is hiding a deep dark violent past. Paul has an immediate and unsettling attraction to Elizabeth; he will do anything to secure her love.

The Mentor premieres June 14th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime

Mercenaries Asylum

Asylum gives us the all-female action flick we demand with Mercenaries!

Who has time to wait around for Hollywood to make a terrible all-female version of The Expendables (called The Expendabelles and featuring a plot where they all become hookers for some reason…) when Asylum can just go ahead and do it, and make it a women in prison film at the same time? Yes, a double-decker mockbuster called Mercenaries that takes on The Expendables 3 and Orange is the New Black season 2 (which I am on a break from binge-watching to write this up) It’s also a big middle finger to Hollywood suits who can’t be bothered to have women star in their action films.

What we get in Mercenaries is a dream team of B-movie action actresses – Zoe Bell(Raze), Vivica A. Fox(Kill Bill), Kristanna Loken(BloodRayne), Brigitte Nielsen(Red Sonja), Cynthia Rothrock(Undefeatable), and Nicole Bilderback (Bring it On). It co-stars Tim Abell, Alexis Raich, Alyma Dorsey, and Alicia Vigil.

Christopher Ray directs, from a script by Edward DeRuiter (who wrote 2-Headed Shark Attack). It was originally called Prison Raid, but got a name change like many Asylum productions.

A diplomatic official is captured and imprisoned while touring a war zone, so a team of elite female commandoes is assembled to infiltrate a women’s prison for a daring rescue.

According to the Asylum site, the street date is August 5, 2014, but no word on if this is on DVD, streaming, exclusive to one outlet before others, or what. So keep an eye out for people talking about this film eventually. If a trailer ever surfaces, I’ll post that (once again, Google is failing me!), and if I can get a copy eventually, I’ll weigh in my thoughts as well. The world will stand by, holding its breath, because we all know that TarsTarkas.NET is the word when it comes to female commando movies that take place in women’s prison.

via Asylum

Mercenaries Asylum

Outlaw Prophet Warren Jeffs Lifetime

Outlaw Prophet: Warren Jeffs preaches on Lifetime!

Outlaw Prophet Warren Jeffs Lifetime

Warren Jeffs is one of those creepy guys that people read about and wonder how sickos get followers. Except sitting around wondering things is judging, and most people who judge things like that probably make dozens of questionable decisions themselves. Charismatic fucktards can get away with a lot of horrible things, and the more charismatic you are and the more controlling the environment you are in all weigh heavily on what sort of fucked up things you can do. Which is why we got cult leaders killing hundreds, convicted politicians getting reelected, and corporate CEOs answering to no one. But that’s beside the point, which is Warren Jeffs is the subject of a new film on Lifetime!

Scandal‘s Tony Goldwyn plays Warren Jeffs in Outlaw Prophet: Warren Jeffs. The film details the rise of the pastor of the breakaway fundamental sect of the Mormon church and covers a lot of the creepy gross stuff that happened, including Jeffs’ downfall and subsequent years on the run before he was captured and jailed. Jeffs traded wives and underage wives like Pokemon, believing the more wives you had, the more Godly you were. He would reassign his followers’ wives, and the FLDS followed the polygamous cult tradition of expelling extra male members to keep the ratio of women to men high enough for everyone who was loyal enough to get many wives. Jeffs was also a believer that would world would end in the year 2012. Astute readers will remember that the world did not end in 2012, and is in fact still around.

Outlaw Prophet: Warren Jeffs is based on Stephen Singular’s book When Men Become Gods, and took five writers to turn into film – Alyson Evans, Bryce Kass, Steve Kornacki, Art Monterastelli, and Gabriel Range. Director Gabriel Range is best known for the controversial Death of a President, the faux-documentary that examined the response to a fictitious assassination of President George W. Bush. Outlaw Prophet: Warren Jeffs also stars Martin Landau, Molly Parker, and Joey King.

True to the fact that this is an exploitation film, there appears to be a massive amount of near-nudity in the trailer, and even Pastor Jeffs railing away on a girl who is talking about how “I feel God”. So Lifetime is pushing the envelope here again!

Outlaw Prophet: Warren Jeffs premieres Saturday, Jun 28 on Lifetime!

“Outlaw Prophet: Warren Jeffs” is the true story of the fundamentalist Mormon leader who spent more than a year on the FBI’s “10 Most Wanted List” for unlawful flight on charges related to his alleged arrangement of illegal marriages involving underage girls. Based on the book When Men Become Gods by New York Times bestselling author Stephen Singular, the movie chronicles Jeffs’ (Tony Goldwyn) rise to power after the death of his father, Rulon Jeffs (Martin Landau). Within days of his father’s passing, Warren married all of his father’s wives and dictatorial control over his polygamist followers ensued. He demanded women in the sect be completely subservient to men, banned laughing, and “reassigned” wives to other men at whim. Jeffs was eventually charged as an accomplice to rape for arranging underage marriages but fled prosecution. After a year-long manhunt, he was finally apprehended in Texas and brought back to trial. The courtroom testimony of two brave young women who escaped his reign of terror ensured he would finally be convicted and sentenced to life in prison. “Outlaw Prophet: Warren Jeffs” gives an inside look at the psychology of a cult leader and those who blindly followed him. Even to this day with their leader behind bars, members of his polygamist cult still believe that he is the prophet chosen by God himself.

via Lifetime