Horny House of Horror

aka Fasshon heru aka Fashion Hell

2010
Directed and written by Jun Tsugita

How many different ways are there to film girls chomping off a guy’s johnson while keeping thing interesting? Well, Horny House of Horror has an answer to that, and the answer is “not enough.” As we’ve seen time and time again the past few years, Japan has become a great exporter of films that fit a genre of ridiculous gore – The Machine Girl, RoboGeisha, Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl, Mutant Girls Squad, Gothic & Lolita Psycho – are all examples that TarsTarkas.NET has taken the time to view. And I admit that I think some of those films are rather good, in a WTF fashion, and I’m even shocked that the genre has lasted as long as it has without getting on my nerves. But when you get enough of something, parts of it will be crappy, and with Horny House of Horror is that part.

Up until the last third of the movie, the majority of the blood on display is arterial spray gushing out of the crotches of three unfortunate men. The rest is talking. And talking. And anticipating. At this point in the genre’s life, it is too late to try to do a slow buildup to the crazy, we’ve gotten to the point where we need a constant stream of crazy violence, much like the sprays of blood desired.

With a pedigree including writer/director Jun Tsugita (Mutant Girls Squad), and gore effects by Yoshihiro Nishimura (Tokyo Gore Police, Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl, and many more), this seemed like it would be a treat. Even some of the familiar cast members from Sushi Typhoon films pop up. But things just don’t go together right. And though the film gets around the banishment of full frontal nudity in Japan by using black circles over the severed and non-severed dongs, the limited freedom isn’t incorporated in a way that takes full advantage of the effect. It’s simply an afterthought, not part of the film itself. Though a small point, it is indicative of how much of the film doesn’t go together well.

The opening 16mm slideshow strip of a guy going to a sex massage club on the way home from work was rather nice – it is probably my favrite part of the film as a whole, and made me expect that things would be good throughout. But shadows of the strip remind me of my reading of Tokyo Vice by Jake Adelstein, which will sour you on the sex industry in Japan like nothing else will. We jump into our first victim, whose gets is wang rolled into a sushi roll that is promptly chomped by his working girl as he screams helplessly and blood reddens the world.

So let’s meet the cast!

Nagisa (Saori Hara) – This sushi-loving masseuse is the newest filly in the herd. She’s also the most reluctant. Saori Hara is an AV star who also does a good deal of softcore flicks. Oddly enough, she’s also in Deep Sea Monster Reigo, as well as 3-D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy. Back when she was Mai Nanami, I commented that she hadn’t done much of anything. Now she’s done much of everyone! Nonoko (Asami Sugiura) – The most experienced working girl and the most jaded. Truly enjoys her job, even if it is apparent she hates herself and everyone else. Lesbionic with Kaori Asami is also an AV star, but her biggest fame is appearing in all the Noboru Iguchi and friends ridiculous gore films such as The Machine Girl, RoboGeisha, Mutant Girls Squad, Gothic & Lolita Psycho. Kaori (Mint Suzuki) – Kaori is the new girl in the club, forced into a life of selling her body after her parents died to care for her younger siblings. But not is all as it seems with her. Mint Suzuki is an AV star whose films you can probably find with a quick Google search. Nakazu (Yuya Ishikawa) – Nakazu is going to get married to his lovely girl Misa, thus his friends drag him out to have sex with some random chicks! He’s not that into it. Then things get interesting… Yuya Ishikawa is a familiar site in these ridiculous gore films, popping up inThe Machine Girl (plus the short sequel), RoboGeisha, and Gothic & Lolita Psycho. Uno (Toushi Yanagi) – Uno is no slouch in picking women to have sex with in sex clubs. He’s also a karate master out of nowhere! Toshida (Wani Kansai) – The bald member of the crew, fancies himself and expert in the ways of sex parlors. Too bad he isn’t an expert in not getting a boner!

The plot, as loose as it is, involves three men visiting a sex massage parlor, only to become the latest victims of the Shogun sex parlor, the sex club that kills it’s patrons. Not the best way to get repeat customers, to be sure. The three men are celebrating Nakazu’s impending marriage to a girl named Misa by having one last night out before she makes him quit their baseball team and stop hanging out with them. Nakazu is shy and conservative when it comes to women, but his two friends are old hat at hitting up the clubs, and drag the reluctant Nakazu with them.

One by one his friends get led back behind the curtain, only too meet the doom of their loins as Uno meets the vagina teeth of Nonoko, while Toshida faces the ultimate challenge of not getting a hard on while a woman seductively dances before him. He fails, and his wang meets a samurai beheading death.


The reluctant Nakazu gets dragged back by the equally reluctant Nagisa, who soon spills the beans and we get a bunch of exposition. Nakazu is always the nice guy and tries to get Nagisa out, but wants to rescue his friends as well. It is too late for Toshida, but Uno is attempting to escape himself, but goes all Sally Field and Not Without My Johnson – thus tries to retrieve his lost member. This results in a fight between the evil girls and Uno, while Nakazu and Nagisa watch. Uno suddenly is a karate master, and the loss of several people worth of blood earlier doesn’t seem to make him weak in the slightest.

But fate decrees endings can’t be so quick, and the body count rises and we meet the true face behind the sex parlor. But even the quick save at the end is not enough to make up for the lack earlier, nor does it compare to the over-the-top celebrations of excess in prior ridiculous gore films. The already low budget is probably even scraping the bottom of the barrel of the other films, and it sadly shows. While the concept seems like it would lead to an interesting film, the result is less than ideal, the movie drags, the blood is not enough, the fun is not enough, the crazy is not enough, and Horny House of Horror is not enough horny, House MD, or horror.

Though thank goodness they changed the title. Horny House of Horror may be a stupid name, but Fashion Hell would make no sense in the US. It’s a play on the term Fashion Health, which means the massage parlors that skirt around the anti-prostitution laws by offering everything but sexual intercourse.

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