Cat-it-tude Links!

April 23, 2014ByTars Tarkas

Above is a shirt I tried unsuccessfully to get my wife to buy. And below are a bunch of links I’ll successfully get you to click on, along with some random movie news that didn’t warrant their own updates.

**Fist of B-List meets Angelfist!

**Derek Yee Tung-Sing (爾冬陞) has begun work on his next director’s gig, a 3D film called The Sword Master (三少爺的劍), which is written by Tsui Hark! The Sword Master is about a retired master swordsman who returns to the martial world to try to settle a dispute with his longtime nemesis. It will star Lin Gengxin (林更新), Peter Ho (何卓榮) Jiang Yiyan (江一燕) and Jiang Mengjie (蔣夢婕). The lack of big name stars was apparently controversial, which caused Derek Yee to say “If a collaboration between Tsui Hark and I still need big stars to get you to waste your time and spend your money on a ticket, then we might as well pack up, go home, drink whiskey and shoot the breeze.”

**Pre-Code.com meets The Man From Monterey!

**The teaser trailer is out for High Heels (하이힐). The film stars Cha Seung-Won (차승원) as Detective Ji-Wook, who solves violent crimes and also desires to become a woman. The film will costar Esom (이솜) as mysterious woman Jang-Mi, and Oh Jung-Se (오정세) as Heo-Gon, who didn’t get a character description in English. High Heels is directed by Jang Jin (장진), who did the classic Guns and Talks and the more recent The Quiz Show Scandal .

**beyondasiaphilia finds That Demon Within!

**Have a nice list of the 100 best Mainland Chinese films to argue about!

**The Film Fiend is drafted into Frankenstein’s Army!

**Five cool Bengali directors

**Teleport City meets the 13 ghosts of Golgo-13!

**An Evening With Jim Henson and Frank Oz – July 1989 at the Puppeteers of America

**Jeremy Blitz feels that Black Torment!

**Newsreel archive British Pathé just released 85,000 films onto YouTube! Holy crap!

**The Vern watches Shorts!

**Reminder that Kate Mulgrew was tricked into narrating a documentary where it’s alleged that the Earth doesn’t revolve around the sun.

**FilmiGeek declares OMG – Oh My God!

**A cool essay about African American women in the silent film industry

**At Monster Island Resort the TCM Classic Film Festival Hosts TCM Party!

**RIP Pervert Dave

**The Horror!? makes bets with Daredevils of the Red Circle!

**Hey, Ju-On (The Grudge) is getting another Japanese installment!

**Hey, The Grudge (Ju-On) is getting another American reboot!

**Will there be a Gamera reboot? Probably if the Godzilla remake doesn’t bomb.

InMovie News, RiffTrax

MST3K might soon be back in black online for your riffing pleasure!

April 22, 2014ByTars Tarkas

We need more animals in costumes! MORE!

Wired has an article on Mystery Science Theater 3000, but the important part comes at the very end, when Joel Hodgson reveals plans for a new version of MST3K that will be online and feature a new host, but plenty of old school cameos. As this is just after Cinematic Titanic finished its touring for good at the end of 2013, it goes to show that things are always looking up.

But this year Mystery Science Theater may finally get a long-rumored, heavily anticipated reboot. This spring Hodgson is hoping to start a new online incarnation of the show, one that will feature a fresh (and as-yet-unannounced) host and cameos from many MST3K alumni.

Hodgson: I’ve talked to a bunch of fans about their lives and what MST3K means to them. I’m overwhelmed by how people took to that show. It really affected them. I thought, if enough people still love it, maybe we can bring it back.

Even avid viewers sometimes don’t realize that every major role in the show had been swapped out over time. So in my mind, the show is built to be refreshed with new people and new ideas. It’s like Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle as it applies to MST3K: If it doesn’t change, it’s not the same show. And fortunately for us, as long as there are movies, there are always going to be cheesy movies.

All I can say is: I’ll be there! I regularly go see each RiffTrax and Cinematic Titanic live event, and a new version of MST3K will only be more gravy for my gravy train. Sure, there may be a new ignition of the Joel/Mike wars, but it will be like when Deep Space Nine uprooted the old Kirk/Picard battles and soon things became complicated.

Joel Hodgson seems to be embracing his role as MST3K creator a lot more readily in recent years, even hosting an online-only Turkey Day Marathon in 2013. His Twitter feed has been active, including a few cool designs of rejected and unused bots. The main question is if Crow and Tom Servo will return, or will there be a new generation of robots to battle bad cinema along with the new host? Perhaps one day soon we will get the answers to these and other questions, until then, we can only dream. And watch the hundreds of episodes of MST3K, RiffTrax, and Cinematic Titanic.

InTelevision Reviews

Zone Fighter Episode 20 – Gekitou! Faitaa-no Uta-ga Kikoeru

April 21, 2014ByTars Tarkas

Zone Fighter Episode 20 – Gekitou! Faitaa-no Uta-ga Kikoeru

aka 激闘! ファイターの歌が聞える aka Desperate Struggle! Can You Hear Fighter’s Song? aka Fierce Fight! Can You Hear Fighter’s Song?

1973
Written by Shiro Ishimori
Directed by Masao Minowa

I’m going to watch this loop all day!

Zone Fighter goes Creepytown with this sorted tale of child abduction, creepy child abductors, creepy children, and children in mortal danger thanks to creepy aliens. Takeru Jou gets kidnapped once again (this seems to be his full-time job on the show), and there are more little boys wearing Japanese short shorts thank you can shake a To Catch a Predator DVD at!

But besides that, Zone Fighter finally has the Garoga do something evil (aside from the random gunning innocent people down) that affects Zone Fighter, and almost makes him change his fighting strategy. Until he remembers being violent will solve the problem regardless.

Great, a stick-shift monster!

Goram is one of the cooler-looking Zone Fighter terror-beast monsters, and I say that just because I like monsters with two heads. But he gets a bum break as Zone Fighter continues his murder spree. Poor Goram.

If you need a refresher on who this ultra-violent Toho tokusatsu is and why we should care and why he’s in these March of Godzilla series, drop on by the Zone Fighter Splash Page! And never fear, Godzilla will actually be in the next episode. But first….

Bambi Meets Godzilla prequel?

AKira and his gang of short shorted little Japanese boys are running around town talking with toy store owners and having that good wholesome fun boys in short shorts have. They’re being followed by another kid in short shorts, who is soon harassed by a creepy old guy with gloves. We all know gloves = Garoga, and soon the creepy old guy is grabbing the kid and Takeru Jou bikes by just in time to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and get kidnapped AGAIN!!!

Seriously, Takeru Jou! Kidnapped again? WTF??

Please note that this Garoga is a Red Garoga that has red stripes on his antenna that make him look like he has candy cane antennas.

It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes!

InMovie News

Moms’ Night Out is a Christian Moms Hangover movie!

April 21, 2014ByTars Tarkas

Moms’ Night Out is a family-friendly feature opening up on Mother’s Day weekend for maximum box office targeting. It’s a Christian family comedy that appears to be modeling itself after The Hangover, but with all the jokes Mommy-friendly.

If you have any doubt that this is a Christian film, just check out their Tumblr, The Mom Factor. I have nothing against Christian films and this will certainly do well in its targeted demographic, and their children who are looking for a cheap Mother’s Day gift. (Or maybe not so cheap, what with the price of movie tickets these days!)

All Allyson and her friends want is a peaceful, grown-up evening of dinner and conversation . . . a long-needed moms’ night out. But in order to enjoy high heels, adult conversation and food not served in a paper bag, they need their husbands to watch the kids for three hours—what could go wrong? MOMS’ NIGHT OUT is an endearing true-to-life family comedy that celebrates the beautiful mess called parenting.

As you can see, hijinks ensue. Moms’ Night Out stars Sarah Drew, Sean Astin, Trace Adkins, Andrea Logan White, and Patricia Heaton (who also produces.) It is directed by The Erwin Brothers, Jon and Andrew.

For those of you panicking that you forgot when Mother’s Day was this year, it is on Sunday May 11th, 2014! Better get your gifts now!

Official Site
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InTelevision Reviews

Zone Fighter Episode 19 – Meirei “K Suisei-de Chikyuu-wo Kowase”

April 20, 2014ByTars Tarkas

Zone Fighter Episode 19 – Meirei “K Suisei-de Chikyuu-wo Kowase”

aka 命令『Kスイ星で地球をこわせ』 aka Order: Crush the Earth With Comet K! aka Order: “Destroy the Earth with Comet K”

1973
Written by Yuji Amamiya
Directed by Ishiro Honda

Zone Fighter – an eye-popping good time!

People and webcrawler bots, we have a situation! Zone Fighter is not the mild-mannered defender of Earth we were led to believe. He is in fact a stone cold butcher murderer who surgically severs opponents body parts and then uses their corpse for his own devious means. I know it may come to a shock, that Zone Fighter, who kills almost every opponent he faces, is some sort of monster, but unfortunately the facts bear that conclusion out. Zone Fighter slices and dices poor Gundarguirus, then tosses his dismembered torso at an approaching comet. This unfortunate corpse desecration is a war crime, and Zone Fighter needs to be dragged in front of an international tribunal immediately for his crimes.

As in last time, this is an episode directed by the master Ishiro Honda, but this episode actually feels like an Ishiro Honda episode and not just kiddy fluff. But there is some goofy stuff still, and then things go insane for that violent stuff I mentioned. Basically, Ishiro Honda helped direct Zone into a period of murderous destruction. So, yay? I guess.

Christopher Nolan’s Interstellar!

Make sure to drop on by the Zone Fighter Splash Page if you need a refresher of who is who.

When last we left Zone Fighter, he was losing a fight to the very lame Gundarguirus. Zone Fighter is out of energy and collapses like a scrub. Gundarguirus then wanders off instead of killing him, perhaps obeying orders from the Red Garoga, perhaps just being a moron. Who knows? What is important is Gundarguirus did not kill Zone Fighter when he had the chance.

Ring toss games are always rigged. You got to play the game where you race horses by squirting water into clown mouths!

Akira and Hotaru take Hikaru to relax a pool side as they splash around in a hotel swimming pool. I guess that’s how you wind down when you’ve just been almost murdered in a monster fight. Hikaru isn’t about relaxing and needs to call his dad for help, while the audience wonders what the whole point of this brief pool section was, unless it was to get Hotaru in a black bikini again. Hopefully it wasn’t to get Akira back into swimming trunks.

Zone Dad and Takeru are concerned about the comet, and Hikaru races off, realizing he still has to go save the world and stuff. Akira and Hotaru take a ride in Smokey to search from the air for Gundarguirus.

We’re not wearing pants, over.

InBad, Movie Reviews

Tom Yum Goong 2 (Review)

April 18, 2014ByTars Tarkas

Tom Yum Goong 2

aka ต้มยำกุ้ง 2 aka The Protector 2

2013
Written by Eakisit Thairaat
Directed by Prachya Pinkaew

An elephant gets stolen again, causing Tony Jaa to kick lots of people again. This time, the stunts are bigger and 3D driven, but also more CGI enhanced and less realistic, which is a shame. There is no long tracking shot like in Tom Yum Goong, and the more memorable fights are remembered because of their gimmicks, not because of their awesomeness. But that sounds like I’m bagging on Tom Yum Goong 2 a bit hard, it was still some good fun, even if it can’t live up to it’s predecessor. And let’s face it, there aren’t many martial arts films that can.

Tom Yum Goong 2 went into production in August 2011. It was delayed by horrible Thailand floods, Tony Jaa doing weird things, production infighting, Jeeja’s unplanned pregnancy, and a bunch of other problems too boring to reiterate. It’s more of a minor miracle the film was completed at all, and isn’t terrible. But the money and the problems changed a few things for the worse, and didn’t give anything in return.

The fights are now 3D, so there is less continual choreography and long shots and more 3D-ish effects, which sort of makes them worse. The made-for-3Dness makes the CGI additions a lot more noticeable, especially when you aren’t watching in 3D. But even if I was, there wasn’t that much going on that made me wish I was watching in 3D. 3D doesn’t make the kicks any harder, nor does it make the tracking shots suddenly several minutes long. All we get is a few random CGI items floating across the screen. The most creative shots they didn’t even use outside of one part, which was a POV facecam as Kham was running from a bunch of goons.

	Kham (Tony Jaa) – Kham is back and he’s still got his elephant, but now the elephant Korn is in danger…oh, wait, that happened last time. So Kham now has to beat up a lot of people…oh, wait, that happened last time! Eh, just enjoy him kicking butt!
	Ping Pong (“Jeeja” Yanin Vismistananda) – Ping Pong and her sister Sue-sue (Theerada Kittiseriprasert) walk in on Kham standing over the body of their murdered uncle, and immediately begin attacking him and chase him down. Only after an examination of the corpse does Ping Pong realize their mistake, but by then Sue-sue has been killed by Number 02. Ping Pong uses drugged needles and agility to defeat larger foes.
	Mr. LC (RZA) – Leader of an underground fighting club that does all sorts of bad things, including gun running and getting involved in international assassination attempts to foster dictatorial ambitions of warlords. He never loses, so don’t tell him he lost. His group is ranked, but he made sure to tattoo Number 00 on his head so we all know he’s the best that ever was.
	Sergeant Mark (Petchtai Wongkamlao) – Kham’s old friend from Australia is in Thailand helping out with all the diplomatic things going on, and gets involved with Kham’s latest elephant kidnapping party.
	Number 02 (Marrese Crump) – Largely silent fighter who wants to be the best fighter there ever was, and will punch whoever and whatever it takes to get there. Murders with a unique series of close blows. Has a complicated honor system, but is still pretty evil and loyal to Mr. LC. Marrese Crump was RZA’s stunt double on The Man with the Iron Fists, and got promoted to costar here.
	Number 20 (Yayaying Rhatha Phongam) – One of Mr. LC’s fighters, loyal to him because he saved her during a sexual assault and trained her in fighting so she could get revenge on her attackers.

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