Kite – What in the ever loving…?

Kite is a live-action adaptation of the anime Kite, which had a dubbed American release with a lot of things edited out, but the uncensored version features lots of graphic underage nudity/rape and violence. That alone should throw up a bunch of red flags, but put your flags away for a moment because they released a trailer and preview (featuring several scenes) that make the American version look like a gigantic fiasco.

Kite is about a young girl whose parents are murdered, and she’s turned into an assassin by corrupt cops to take down other bad people, and to get revenge on who murdered her parents. Of course there are other teenage assassins running around, and almost every character is played by a white person but keeps their Japanese name. Except Sam Jackson’s character, who gets a name change.

It looks like they copied scenes almost exactly, leading to weird things like the over acting old lady and lots of funky anime hair colors. I’m sure someone saw Hit-Girl in Kick-Ass and decided that a whole movie on the concept would be golden.

But it is terrible! Don’t take my word for it, they threw up almost ten minutes of the film for you to make your own decisions. It’s called freedom of choice!

Cast:
Samuel L. Jackson as Karl Aker
India Eisley as Sawa
Callan McAuliffe as Oburi
Russel Savadier as Old Boy
Jaco Muller as Kratsov
Liam J. Stratton as Sawa’s Father
Keci Eatock as Young Sawa

Kite is directed by South African director Ralph Ziman of Gangster’s Paradise: Jerusalema fame. I hope he has another project lined up already.