Ben Affleck is YOUR new Batman!

The internet reacted in shocked outrage when Ben Affleck was announced as the new Batman in the upcoming Superman vs Batman film. Confused, netizens didn’t know what to do, many panicked and declared this the worst decision ever. Luckily, a few clever people realized that Ben Affleck actually has some talent and could give a great portrayal as a seasoned caped crusader. And there is the extra bonus that now the entire Kevin Smith View Askewniverse can be set in the DC universe. Riddle on that!

You cannot deny that Affleck has talent. He’s got golden statues, a super hero pedigree, and he was the bomb in Phantoms, yo! And even with whatever problems I have with Snyder as a director, Affleck is a much better director and can bring out performances in himself that a less talented director might not be able to do. I also expect the Daredevil movie will finally get the love it deserves, even though it is ridiculous. Heck, there might be a whole rundown on Affleck’s canon by bored sites that already did the Batman retrospective last year before The Dark Knight Returns. There is nothing movie sites like to do more than launch giant series that won’t be concluded that pretend to look at things from a brand new viewpoint while aping the same perspectives found in any discussion thread about the film on the internet.

The real fun for a guy like me will be reading the tears of impotent rage from fanboys, then the tears of impotent rage against the fanboys, and finally reading the Sharknado of impotent rage against the world as society collapses because everyone was arguing about Batman as the economy nose dived off a cliff again.

Now if you excuse me, I have 30 Ben Affleck films to watch…