Emmanuelle in Hong Kong
aka 香港艾曼紐之獸性培欲 aka Heung Gong ngaai maan nau ji sau sing pui yuk
2003
Written by Emmanuelle 71
Directed by Dick Lau Tin-Sze
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Sometimes a cigar represents so many things Freud needs to do some cocaine to calm down, okay???
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Hey, you got Eyes Wide Shut on my Story of O! And you got Story of O on my Eyes Wide Shut! And everyone is Chinese and named Emmanuelle for some reason… Thus from this unlikely scenario we have the origin of a really disgusting Reeses product. And also Emmanuelle in Hong Kong!
Don’t be fooled, Emmanuelle in Hong Kong has nothing to do with any of the Emmanuelle series, neither the regular, black, yellow, in space, 2000, vs. Dracula, or any other random series. It is simply a name grab. And by the names of certain producers (Cary Grant!!) they are hiding behind the fake names themselves. Four films seem to have been produced at the same time by the same team, using many of the same actors. My Horny Girlfriend is another one in the series. This is looking more and more like the same model used now for the most recent Emmanuelle series! Unlike a lot of Category III trash that came out at the same time, at least some of these films attempt to do something interesting, even if it is largely copying other media and failing spectacularly. We at TarsTarkas.NET support effort.
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Nerdy Hef and Green Beret Phantom plan their next party
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Emmanuelle in Hong Kong is another of the films produced by “Cary Grant”, a pseudonym so obvious I’m surprised they didn’t just go with Elvis Presley. And let’s not get in to the fact the script was written by “Emmanuelle 71”. The director, on the other hand, we will get into a little. Dick Lau Tin-Sze only helmed six titles, but he managed to helm a wide variety of smut, some of which stands out far and beyond the similar Category III films from the same period. Emmanuelle in Hong Kong was his first film released, followed by Erotic Agent II, then Sex and the Central, Sexy Soccer, Raped By an Angel 5, and finally The Undercover Madams, which has one of the most complex plots I’ve seen in a Category III film and I would even argue it borders on being a halfway decent flick. I don’t know if Dick Lau was a fake name that someone used in rotation or if he was just someone who dabbled in exploitation cinema under Matrix Productions Company and has since gone back to real estate or something. In any event, we wish him well.
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This has become one of the most creepy films of all time…
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I’ll be having NUN of that Emmanuelle stuff!
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Emily is a Catholic-raised photographer married to psychologist Yan. Their sex life is down in the dumps due to Emily’s depression over her miscarriage. She has focused all her effort into work, leaving Yan to take lots of cold showers and read Playboy. Yan isn’t very sensitive to her needs, so he is no saint. Yan’s lack of any form of support or understanding is expecially perplexing because he’s a psychologist.
A visit from Emily’s younger sister Joyce and her husband who never got a name (Matthew Ng Ting) allow us to learn that Emily has even more problems and has now vanished. Yan then shares a story about how a mysterious man wanted to hire Emily to photograph a secret get-together. Said secret man is dressed like a 17th century British officer with a Phantom of the Opera mask and a cigar. Yan went with her, and both of them were blindfolded, which also makes Yan think of the first time he had sex. The get-together is straight out of Eyes Wide Shut, in that rich people are getting it on. Yan doesn’t remember anything after that.
Yan doesn’t seem too worried that his wife looks to be kidnapped or anything, consistent with his insensitive monster personality. Joyce leaves after deciding to not call the police (why bother with the cops when your sister is missing and your brother-in-law acts bizarre and suspicious?) Yan then thinks to himself about how back at the Eyes Wide Shut party, his wife was surrounded by lots of naked chicks. She was lifted and carried upstairs as Yan just watched. This is the first of many times the Emmanuelle in Hong Kong Theme song blares out, as it will for every sex scene in the film. Hey, they paid good money for this song, so might as well get your money’s worth!
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Sexual Boba
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Yan is in a hot tub, and a white lady strolls up to him, strips off her robe, and her and Yan kiss and begin to do the beast with two backs. The sex is pretty explicit and it’s interesting that they’re this forward with showing everything. As Japanese AV actresses are often imported to star in Hong Kong Cat III films, seeing an actress that looks to be imported from Russia or Eastern Europe is pretty novel. Yan also has a flashback in the middle of the action as he remembers how Emily once refused to have sex with him. Yep.
If you like the previous flashback, you will love this one. Yan tells Emily that men get married so they can have sex at any time, and she calls him disgusting. He presses her against the wall and forces himself insider her in a pretty unrealistic position (and she is still wearing her underwear!) She pushes him off of her and crunches his manhood with her hand, then huffs off as Yan crouches in pain.
Emmanuelle in Hong Kong is the sexiest movie ever!
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I said Sexual Boba!
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After no sex for a year Yan decides to enroll Emily in Emmanulle’s sex lessons, which is a one month course. The 17th century Captain talks with Yan, and tells him Dr. Kevin’s methods will be used. Yes, Dr. Kevin. Whoever that is. Captain uses beans as an example to explain how increased circulation makes for better sex. I am completely confused. Emily will be having sex with many random dudes, which I am sure she totally agreed with. So we have kidnapping and multiple counts of rape so far. Erotic to the core, this movie is! If a dog shows up, this DVD gets flung across the street. Not really, as I’d probably be arrested. Guess I’ll just have to burn it…
Emmanuelle in Hong Kong also features random scenes with Grace Lam playing a depressed nun named Angel. Yan treats her depression, but there is no nudity from her, so most people who bought the DVD were disappointed. Real Grace Lam enthusiasts should have done better research, you have no one to blame but yourself. These scenes are boring and Angel kills herself near the end of the film in a way that may have meant something if the film was any good and her scenes not thrown together in 15 minutes to increase DVD sales. So forget her.
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When she’s in the mask, does she speak in a gravelly voice like Christian Bale as Batman?
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Back to the real movie, it is Lesson One – Yan is brought to the house by a driver, and masked women meet him. They are Emmanuelles #35 and #50. They take him to the room where he can watch his wife. She is hung from the ceiling by cloth, and all her body parts are being measured by Emmanuelles 69, 35, and a second #50. The first #50 is in Yan’s room. Important wife measurements: Clitoris – .7 cm. Vagina 2.5 cm. No clue what direction. Also, they were measured while Emily was clothed. Her labia majora are normal and her nympah are too small (what the frak is a nympah???) All this measurement talk turns Yan on enough he grabs the Emmanuelle #50 nearby and they start sexing it up, Emmanuelle in Hong Kong style! Which means she sprays like old faithful all over the place. It is like a firehose blasting. Thanks, Emmanuelle in Hong Kong.
In the porn store looking at masks, Yan recognizes a cross tattoo on the clerk, she is Emmanuelle 50! (the 50 he had sex with) She doesn’t respond to the 50 nomenclature, and is totally dubbed (because it’s a Japanese AV star doing HK movies for extra scratch) Showing her nude photographs of herself that Emily took finally loosens 50’s tongue, she is a freelance model who had sex with Yan’s wife because Yan is creepy. This news of seduction is delivered in flashback form via lesbian sex, as the Emmanualle in Hong Kong theme blares and camera bulbs flash. Yan fails to even absorb that he was called creepy.
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Emmanuelle in Hong Kong, people!
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We’ve gone too long without directly copying something from Eyes Wide Shut, so let’s do that now. Bring in the unconscious naked girl that Dr. Yan will need to look at. This time it is Joyce, sister of Emily, who ODed but will be fine. At least no one randomly has AIDS. No one also asks why psychologist Dr. Yan is looking at an unconscious woman instead of a hospital ER. Yan returns to Mr. K’s place for the next step in the turning of Emily, ice and tongs and some random dude shaving her. Yan is told that if he takes Emily early, she will revert back to not liking him. Probably because he organized her kidnapping and repeated rape. He is too turned on by her white bikini to care. This gets Yan invited to a rich persons’ orgy for some reason.
Fire up the Xerox again for this Eyes Wide Shut rich people’s orgy. By now, we should just be surprised when the film doesn’t copy EWS. Yan gets to work banging the masked Emmanuelle 70, because Yan is a faithful husband. After 5 minutes of pounding away, he rips off the mask of Emmanualle 70 and discovers it is Joyce, his wife’s sister! They keep going at it, regardless. Priceless.
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Even though the film tells us so, it just isn’t true…
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It is another day and another sex session for Emily with random dudes, Yan watches until he needs release and is soon joined by Emmanuelle 50 and they have sex on the blanket and pillows conveniently laid out on the floor in case of a sudden sex emergency. This scene is pretty darn long.
Joyce’s husband finds her mask and heard her talk of a dream about having sex with Yan, but Yan just sighs. Yan has now ruined two marriages. Hooray for Yan, who is clearly a disturbed individual who must be destroyed to save the planet. Kill Yan, kill Yan, kill Yan, kill Yan!
Emily has completed her training, and is now a Jedi Sex Master. She is Emmanuelle 69, showing they aren’t numbered in chronological order if there is already a 70. They saved the best number for the main character, I guess. She doesn’t seem that in to Yan and goes back to her photo studio. Yan is left alone. Someone play the sad trombone. Meanwhile, Joyce and Emmanuelle 50 are getting it on, lesbian shaving style. This director seems to really like shaving. This film reveals far too much about his fantasy life. Yan watches for a few seconds before being called away because Angel is dead, like we said earlier. Good for her, she has escaped the movie while we are still trapped.
Back at the apartment, Yan regrets trying to change his wife, and she starts to caress him, soon they are making love, but halfway through, she stops, throws him off, tells him he has the smell of a loser and they are no longer married. Yan, you yutz. You have just been Emmanuellowned!
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Her temples…they’re so deformed!
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Yan is broken and alone. He wanders to Mr. K’s mansion, and soon is tied up and going through the Emmanuelle sex lesson treatment. Emily is seen watching him go through this while enjoying carnal delights of her own. Yan will be Emmanuelle 150, btw. It is gender non-discriminatory. Maybe he should be Edmanuelle. Why am I over-analyzing random numbering of characters in a Category III movie? Because that’s how TarsTarkas.NET rolls!
So let’s play pretend, and over-analyze some more. I bet this entire film is just a The Usual Suspects-type story concocted by Dr. Yan to explain the disappearance of his wife, and his wife’s sister Joyce, after he brutally raped and murdered them. In addition, Dr. Yan being carried away at the end was him being carted off to prison and raped by prisoners, all of which he is only aware of at a subconscious level due to the levels of delusions acting upon him. Probably late-onset paranoid schizophrenia. Now that’s erotic!
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Your mask is offensive to American Indians. Please leave the orgy.
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Rated 3/10 (Religious undertones, Did I mention religious undertones?, Chess again!)
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