When you think Red Bull Energy Drink, you think 19th century poor English orphans, and that’s the kind of word association that Red Bull is banking on making them bank at that box office. Thus, they’re funding a new Oliver Twist film, and riding the lightning from the Taylor Lautner parkour bike messenger film Tracers, this new Oliver Twist will feature 3D Parkour! The way Dickens intended. Twist will feature the Fagin gang going all parkour on naive 19th century townsfolk, striping their pocketbook and their sense of innocence. Just waiting for Artful Dodger to crack open a can of Red Bull Energy Shot after stealing the crown jewels in bullet time. Will there be dubstep? You can pretty much guarantee it!
Why stop with Oliver Twist? I want parkour everything! Parkour is the new asteroids hitting the Earth. Parkour Star Trek, Parkour Iron Man, Parkour Fast and the Furious, Parkour Parks and Recreations. Parkour it all!
Even this cat is doing parkour. Or running to get a laser pointer. Same thing!
3 Comments
George (@CallMeSirPhobos)
May 15, 2012 at 4:11 pmWould Parkour Peter Pan even make sense?
Tars Tarkas
May 15, 2012 at 5:45 pmSecond star to the right, drink Red Bull ’til morning….
LONDON (AP) — Notorious pedophile Peter Pan was found dead this morning of an apparent Red Bull overdose, having consumed 37 cans in 4 hours and then crashing headfirst into the northern clockface of Big Ben. Witnesses reported hearing a loud scream of “EXTREME!” moments before impact.
George (@CallMeSirPhobos)
May 15, 2012 at 6:29 pmIf there’s a red band trailer, I’m down.