2005
Directed by Fred Olen Ray (as Nicholas Medina)
Yep, it’s another crazy Bikini movie! This time, Bikini Chain Gang takes us into the seedy world of women in prison, a sexploitaton genre that is used so often it has its own tropes and subgenres! Starring the usual cast from the 2005-2009 era Fred Olen Ray films, and featuring the usual songs, locations, and props. The only thing unusual is the nudity in the title screen shot, which I had to edit with the magic of free alternatives to Photoshop. We got a respectable family friendly website about bikini prison sex movies here, Bub!
Previous TarsTarkas.NET reviews of Fred Olen Ray Bikini films include: Bewitched Housewives, Super Ninja Doll, Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet, Girl with the Sex-Ray Eyes, Tarzeena: Jiggle in the Jungle, Ghost in a Teeny Bikini, Voodoo Dollz: Lust Potion #9, Bikini Airways, Bikini Royale. Bikini Frankenstein. and Twilight Vamps Lust At First Bite. Most of the crew below show up in one or more of the previous titles.
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Shim Hyung-rae was a former comedian who made mad dough with his comic character Younggu – the namesake of his company Younggu-Art Entertainment. He also directed the Ureme series and the Yonggary remake. His latest attempt was the gigantic flop The Last Godfather. But by July of 2011, Younggu-Art Entertainment was broke and folded, with Shim claiming to be 41 billion won in debt (~$35 million) He’s now being sued by former employees for 890 million won ($760,000) in unpaid wages.
In addition, Shim faces weapons charges for having an illegally modified gas gun (what the frak??!) and is being alleged by his spurned ex-employees that he has a gambling problem and bribes politicians and businessmen with prostitutes.
What all this means, is no more D-War. A sad day for Korea, and a sad day for America.
via
There is a hilarious and confusion sex scandal happening in South Korea at the moment involving a bunch of alphabet letters, sex tapes, the mob, leaked medical records, abortions, urinating on laptops, and “he said, she said” tall tales. So here is what we know, as far as we can tell. Things may be wrong, but what are you going to do:
Han Sung-Ju (한성주 sometimes Han Sung-Joo), Miss Korea 1995, has turned that beauty queen prize into a career in media, namely being a tv star. She is totally not related to the person the Korean media are dubbing Celebrity A. So don’t get any ideas. Wink. There is also Individual B (Celebrity A’s ex-boyfriend) and Individual C (some dude uploading these things to the net)
At some point Celebrity A dated a Korean-American businessman named Individual B. They had a normal relationship where he gave her tons of money to buy all sorts of crap and new boobs, and also abortions. Then he dumped her, so she went nuts and had some mobsters beat him up and made him sign a NDA in his own blood. So Individual B is mad, and gives Individual C a bunch of stuff to release on the internet, including her passport, medical records, and photos and videos of A and B getting it on. The first video was short, but rumor has it more has hit the net. As you can guess, this has caused a media circus of hilarity, especially since everyone keeps using the Celebrity A name. We will all soon learn that ABC isn’t as easy as 123.
One of three films from a series that all have 3D and 2D versions. Because seeing this in 3D totally will add to the experience. Somehow. Stingers coming right at ya!
How can you look at this cover and not want to watch it?
The other two in the series:
Amaterasu Ohmikami
Amaterasu Omikami is “the great August kami (god) who shines in the heaven”, the goddess of the sun and the universe. I don’t know what will happen in the film, except there is an octopus-looking monster behind her on the poster. The translation of the synopsis mentions a sea-god. So expect something perverted! Starring Alice Ozawa
Linked for NSFW
Hihoukan Cannibalism
Hihoukans are Japanese sex museums, and you can probably guess the plot from the title and poster art now.
Linked for NSFW
aka Kradeub aka กระดึ้
2010
Directed by Jaturong “Mokjok” Phonboo
Alien goo monsters from space crashed into the Earth and start sucking the moisture/warmth from people. It’s up to two rival families to put aside their differences and save the planet. Cool Gel Attacks is a cool, refreshing burst of fun scifi monsterism in a world where fun romps are sorely lacking.
The cool gel monsters look like cool gel packs that you wear when you have fevers to cool down your body temperature. This method isn’t that common in the US, but at least according to this film, is the bee’s knees in Thailand. Ask anyone there, and they’ll tell you that they’re gellin’ like a felon. They eat melon because they’re gellin’. Magellan wishes he was as gellin’.
The beginning is a montagy showcase of a bicyclist who finds a mysterious gel thing on the road, which becomes a national phenomenon until scientists figure out it is just the insides of one of those cool gel packs. But by then, people are touching it for good luck and trying to determine lottery numbers.
You might think this is all fun and games, but it is 100% true! One woman even cooked up one of the gel packs and fed it to her kids to make them more intelligent. No word on what horrible brain damage eating the gel packs did to those poor kids. And now we know how the Thailand ET film will end! Just kidding, I have a Thailand ETish film that will get reviewed soon, and no one eats the alien. UFO interest has spiked up since the national headlines, and Thailand is becoming a minihotspot for alien activity. Aliens will even call you on the phone or communicate with you telepathically, as the many totally true alien stories from that link tell us.
Director Jaturong “Mokjok” Phonboon is a comedian who directs films on the side, and gets a bunch of his comedian buddies to star alongside him. Thsu, many of the goofy, silly Thai films you see when you go search on eThaicd have his fingerprints on them.
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