John Carter of Mars has lost his Mars

1- Some suit at Disney thinks that they must remove “of Mars” to prevent association with the film Mars Needs Moms, which went all Fat Man and Little Boy at the box office. I can just imagine the idiotic executive, with not a lick of movie making experience in his body, foolishly believing that the reason Mars Needs Moms failed was because of Mars, and not because the story sounded dumb and the aliens looked so hideous people actually ripped off their balls so they wouldn’t father children who would be forced to live in a world where they might see the alien design on this film. The same suit doesn’t see a problem with John Carter being a former Confederate soldier.

2- As A Princess of Mars is public domain, and the compromise name John Carter of Mars isn’t in the US (but is somewhere overseas, IIRC), Disney decided to just go with John Carter because it would be easier to trademark. That sentiment is sort of weird when you remember that ER had a character named John Carter for over a decade, there’s a lunatic congressman named John Carter, and the name John Carter is so common I’ve met several. Maybe they’re hoping people think this is about Jimmy Carter’s secret other brother, the one who didn’t make beer.

3- They plan to fuck with the story so much John Carter goes to a different planet each movie! This would be an incredibly stupid idea, but, this is Hollywood and they did remove “of Mars” from the title.

Of course, there is still a whole year to go, and John Carter of Mars will probably have another six titles by then (and be known in Japan as “Super Hoppy White Devil Man vs. Green Spider Monkey”)

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