Dark Secrets

Dark Secrets

Dark Secrets
2013
Written by Tina Hawthorne
Directed by David Barber

Dark Secrets

That’s not how you tell secrets!


Relationships relationships relationships. And also hot sex. Mainline Releasing drops another cool script from Tina Hawthorne that takes another softcore film on a deep introspective journey to look at the relationships of the people who are its subjects. The dissection is so complete that a major character is a group couples therapist, who helps the various pairings with their issues. Some things can be dealt with, and some relationships aren’t worth saving.

Be warned, audience, Dark Secrets might actually make you think for a bit! Sure, it’s got naked people being nude with each other, but also people talk and learn give and takes of relationships. Thus becoming stronger as they learn to work with each other. Sure, a few of the compromises get simplified to just boning each other, but there is a quota of sex scenes we need to fill here, people!

Two relationships have problems in that both members each have their own little things that need to get ironed out. So the therapy session helps because they have a chance to discuss it, instead of just getting angry and exploding at each other. The group couples therapy would seem to be advantageous because you can see similarities to facets of your own relationship when you hear others talk about theirs. But you might also learn things you don’t really want to know about your friends, so I don’t suggest jumping right into group couples therapy with all your friends. And every group has that one friend’s significant other that everyone hates. Yes, he’s in this film as well.

Dark Secrets

I hate this painting. HATE!!


David doesn’t quite fit in with the rest of the group because he’s said to be older and doesn’t really care for Marisa’s going to school or doing much of anything except living off of him. David always seems to have the right line to compliment all the other girls, but rarely bothers to connect with Marisa. It is apparent to everyone that Marisa is on her last legs in that relationship, fed up with David’s crap and attempts to control things. David ticks off the other guys at therapy with his empty platitudes, coming out at a disadvantage while Marisa becomes more empowered by the sessions. It’s clear that being around other people helps give Marisa confidence, something David isn’t too keen on, as confidence means she won’t be doing what he says. David’s personality is more complicated at first, but by the end of the film he becomes cartoonishly evil. A switch goes off once Marisa becomes free, and David can’t handle it, can’t handle the being out of control. The Dark Secret of David is he’s a violent sociopath!

Marisa (Jayden Cole) – Young student dating the much older David, who seems like he knows all the answers, but really doesn’t know much, especially about Marisa. But he does know how to be disturbingly violent if Marisa brakes up with him… Jayden Cole is also in Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros, Bikini Frankenstein, and Naughty Reunion.
David (Billy Chappell) – Oh. That guy.
Felicia (Heather Vahn) – Marisa and Bree’s friend, her boyfriend Max spends all his time working on his laptop and being passive aggressive when she tries to drag him to group couples therapy. Felicia is worried about the time Max spends not paying attention to her and her needs. As this is pre-boob job Heather Vahn, it also helps date how long ago this was filmed vs. being released. Heather Vahn also stars in the political thriller Grab and Bind: Heather Vahn, Political Prisoner
Max (Michael Vegas) – Felicia’s boyfriend who is probably very busy with work right now, though if you are a naked Felicia he can pause a bit to have sex with you. Does not like David. At all. Michael Vegas sweeps the leg in The Karate Kid XXX: A DreamZone Parody.
Bree (Victoria White) – Marisa and Felicia’s friend who helps convince Marisa to bring David to therapy. Defends some of David’s statements (because they compliment her) though eventually makes up with her boyfriend. This relationship only seems to need therapy because Brian is angry 24/7. Victoria White also appears in Sexual Quest.
Brian (Richard Lounello) – Bree’s boyfriend. Is constantly angry. About everything. Has HUGE ears. Does not like David. At all. Richard Lounello also appears in Battledogs.
Dr. Serena Daniels (Kelli McCarty) – Therapist who hosts group couples therapy sessions, which are as exciting as you think they would be to be in. Despite being a trained psychologist, she’s not above having sex with her patients. Let’s hope the California Board of Psychology doesn’t watch this movie! Kelli McCarty is also in The Teenie Weenie Bikini Squad

Dark Secrets

How dare you criticize my Naruto/Pokemon slash fic!


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Sexual Quest

Sexual Quest


2011
Written by Who Knows? No one is credited
Directed by Austin Brooks

Sexual Quest
You cashed out our 401k’s to buy WHAT???!

One thing you don’t see at all in softcore films are minority men. While the women may be every color under the sun (though black women are far less common), the men are almost always white, and the leads are always white. Not only does Sexual Quest break the mold, but it does it in the most smashing way by having an Asian male as the lead. And beyond that, an Asian male in a stable relationship with an Asian female who has multiple sex scenes. I can literally count on two fingers the amount of Asian males I’ve seen in softcore flicks in sex scenes (and both of them were villains with a lone sex scene!) Asian males get the short shift in general in media when it comes to sexuality, so it is good to see that they are making strides into all areas, even if it is one film at a time.

Sexual Quest
Who says I have a drinking problem??

Beyond the breaking ground of casting, Sexual Quest isn’t even written to be progressive racially. It’s just a normal couple film, the couple just happens to be Asian. The couple Jamie and Adam are normal people in a normal relationship, and they have normal feelings and emotions. They act like a real couple, with interactions involving spats and those little arguments you have from time to time. The naturalistic dialogue isn’t improvised (which is painfully obvious from time to time), which makes the lack of a credited writer upsetting. Sexual Quest is a great couple’s flick, the couple in the film cares for each other and their feelings, and work together to make their marriage work. As much fun as it is to watch the softcores involving alien chicks collecting milk jugs full of sperm for their home planet, sometimes it’s good to watch a film that can appeal to a larger demographic. And it gives enough sex scenes that even those who are watching for just one thing late at night on Cinemax won’t have to wait long for the action to start.

Sexual Quest is a journey. Yes, a sexual journey, but not one where people just start having sex with anything that crosses their path. This is a journey of a couple, as they work to explore their relationship and both expand their areas sexual experience and discovery while still respecting the boundaries of the other member of the couple. They work as a team, doing things that is slightly outside their comfort zones to try to please the other person. Often, they find they like the new experiences, but even as this couple has a lot of sex, they aren’t total freaks or anything. They could be any random couple. The vanilla background makes the quest more believable, and makes the eventual conclusion on what their fantasies lead too all the more real.

Sexual Quest
These Cosmo sex tips are just a list of menu items from Denny’s!

Jamie (Charmane Star) – Wife of Adam who helps come up with the idea of the sexual bucket list in order to spice up their sex life. Charmane Star is an adult actress that you may have seen in Wicked Fourgy of Whorror, Baby Doll Lesbian Orgies, or Operation Just Cooze.
Adam (James Kwong) – Jamie’s husband and co-conspirator of the sexual bucket list. James Kwong does nightclub work.
Kerry (Ann Marie Rios) – Kerry is Jamie’s friend who is going through relationship problems as her boyfriend is busy having sex with other women. You may have seen Ann Marie Rios in such fine adult fare as Lesbian Halfway House, Pretty Prisoners of Chloro Conspiracies, or Battle of the Hogtied Maids
Grant (Duane Carter) – Adam’s friend who becomes a tag-along on the fantasy list so he can live vicariously through his married friend. Isn’t it usually the opposite in these films?
Mike (Dean Black) – Bartender, lover, husband…Mike wears many hats, even though he doesn’t wear a hat in the actual film. Married to Cheryl, but the marriage is more open than arms in a Creed song.
Cheryl (Victoria White) – Blonde woman who is married to Mike, but has sex with many people who aren’t Mike, as their relationship is open. That’s about the extent of her personality. Adult actress Victoria White is also in the fine films This Ain’t Hollywood Squares XXX, Sexy! Naked!, Bound!, and Naked Tickle Passion.
Sexual Quest
Distort-o-arms!

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