“They Look Like They Make Sense, Don’t They?” – A Reassessment of Prometheus
The following article is unapologetically spoilerific on the subject of Prometheus. If you haven’t seen that film, I’d suggest doing that before reading this. Also, I should warn you that I am quite blunt about genital descriptions, in keeping with the imagery of the film.
Prometheus was one of the most hotly anticipated movies of the year. Fans of the Alien films, i.e: everyone, were chomping at the bit for the answers to the unanswerable questions posed by that film’s mysterious “Space Jockey”. Who was that guy? What was his connection to the titular alien? What happened to the rest of them? Well, Ridley Scott finally got his chance to try to answer all these questions in the form of Prometheus, a prequel of sorts to the 1979 film. We were finally going to find out what it was all about!
Categories: Cinema Articles Tags: Alien, Charlize Theron, Damon LIndelof, God, Guy Pearce, Ian Whyte, Immortality, Michael Fassbender, Noomi Rapace, Prometheus, Rafe Spall, Ridley Scott, Sean Harris, Soul, The Social Network
Snow White and the Huntsman
Snow White and the Huntsman
2012
Written by Evan Daugherty, John Lee Hancock, and Hossein Amini
Directed by Rupert Sanders
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Snow White and the Movie That Was Far Too Epic!
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No film has ever wanted to be Lord of the Rings more than Snow White and the Huntsman. And I say this as someone who has seen dozens of the LOTR ripoffs that sprang up like weeds in the direct to DVD market in the wake of the Rings trilogy sweeping the box office. From the exact same aerial shots in increasingly less-majestic lands, to elves and orcs and crap arguing about magic swords, to Dragon and Eragon and Curse of the Ring, to Dungeon Siege and any fantasy film that dared to try to copy shots and themes, we were awash in their wake. And now, years later, just before Peter Jackson brings us two Hobbit movies, Snow White gets her Lord of the Rings treatment. And it is bland.
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Now the Queen is trapped in that Star Trek: The Next Generation episode Frame of Mind!
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In a year where two Snow White films raced to the box office, Snow White and the Huntsman strayed behind Mirror Mirror in an attempt to cash in on that sweet summer money. And while Mirror Mirror was targeting 8 year old girls, Snow White and the Huntsman is trying to cast a wider net, aiming to get teens and tweens of both genders. With Kristen Stewart and Chris Hemsworth bringing their box office clout, you would think this is a natural mid-range blockbuster. But thanks to the originality and just weird story editing, we’re left with a more vanilla adventure that seems like a script from fanfiction.net.
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What happens when you don’t eat Granny Smith!
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50 Shades of Grey was originally WHAT???
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Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly Tags: Bob Hoskins, Brian Gleeson, Charlize Theron, Chris Hemsworth, Eddie Marsan, Evan Daugherty, Hossein Amini, Ian McShane, John Lee Hancock, Johnny Harris, Kristen Stewart, Nick Frost, Ray Winstone, Rupert Sanders, Sam Claflin, Sam Spruell, Tars sells out!, Toby Jones