Kept Woman (Review)

Kept Woman

Kept Woman Lifetime
2015
Written by Doug Barber and James Taylor Phillips
Directed by Michel Poulette

Kept Woman Lifetime
Kept Woman is loony Lifetime insanity with a scary dose of all-too-close to being ripped from the headlines. While Kept Woman isn’t based on a true story, it’s inspired by real events, but then gets a looking glass twist that incorporates the scary world of Men’s Rights Activists. Some spoilers below.
Kept Woman Lifetime
Newlyweds Jessica and Evan Crowder (Courtney Ford and Andrew W. Walker) have a bad experience in the city, including getting robbed, and then coming home to find an armed robber in their apartment. This is enough to scare Jessica into demanding a house in the suburbs. But thanks to them being young and poor, the only thing they can afford is way way way out there, meaning Evan has a hellacious commute and barely gets to see his wife, who now works at home doing graphic design. They maxed out their savings on the place, leading to fights over money and the lack of quality family time. Worse of all, Jessica’s fear of the city and wanting to live somewhere safer put her right next door to someone far more dangerous than some random guy with a gun who wants drug money.
Kept Woman Lifetime
Shaun Benson breathes life into the creepy Simon, fleshing him out as a master manipulator who belief in his own superiority and place as a patriarchal god becomes his undoing. To the outside, Simon comes off as a reclusive hipster dork who has flashes of creepiness while trying to be nice. Those bits of creepy words turn out to be oozing from the cracks of his facade, and the creep monster underneath is a frightening beast capable of dishing out mental and physical torture while holding a carrot for those that willingly fall in line with his brainwashing.

Kept Woman Lifetime

I think that “POLICE” label needs to be bigger. BIGGER!


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Kept Woman is trapped in a nightmare on Lifetime!

Kept Woman Lifetime
[adrotate banner=”7″]Lifetime rips more scandals from the headlines with Kept Woman, which appears to be a modified version of the Arlene Castro kidnappings, with a healthy dose of 1950s women are objects sleaze thrown in to make things safe for television but still incredibly gross. For not only is Courtney Ford kidnapped, but the kidnapper has his own brainwashed Stepford wife #1 already who helps him try to break her in. But she’s not going to take that without a fight.

Jessica and her fiancé Evan just moved from the city into their dream home on a quiet suburban street. Soon after, Jessica catches her seemingly friendly new neighbor, Simon, in a strange lie and can’t let her suspicions rest. The danger escalates when Simon lures her inside his home and imprisons Jessica in his secret bunker, meticulously decorated in the idealized style of the 1950’s. Here she meets Robin, a woman who’s been held captive by Simon for several years and brainwashed into living as his faithful companion – a fate that is now set for Jessica unless she can somehow find a way to escape from Simon’s time-warped prison. Inspired by true events.

Creepy creeps being creeps? This looks insane! I’m totally there.

Kept Woman stars Courtney Ford (Dexter, True Blood), Shaun Benson, Rachel Wilson, Andrew W. Walker, Jesse Camacho, and Troy Blundell. It’s directed by Michel Poulette (Too Young to Marry) and written by the team of Doug Barber and James Taylor Phillips (Forget and Forgive)

Kept Woman premieres Saturday, February 28th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime

Bridal Wave rolls into Hallmark Channel!

Bridal Wave Hallmark

You can’t stop the tides, but you can hide behind a coat rack!


[adrotate banner=”7″]Bridal Wave is yet another Hallmark Channel warning about rushing into marriage, because once again a bride-to-be is having doubts and then some random guy pops out of nowhere to disrupt everything! The lesson is, don’t get married unless you 100% know you want to get married and stay married. That concept may seem simple, but there sure are a lot of people who don’t bother to follow it, and a lot of people who easily change their minds once they are married.

Romance movies like this are all about wondering if the woman/guy will drop their zero and get with the hero, so expect 90 minutes of Georgie waffling back and forth on if she wants to stick with the lame-o or run off with the guy she just met at an island resort. Since the synopsis shows the mom-in-law is a classist jerk, I’m already cheering for her to live with the unemployed guy who lives on the island. Maybe that ends up being better than it sounds? We’ll have to watch Bridal Wave to be sure, but if it doesn’t feature the bride on a surf board in her bridal dress (preferably while running away from her wedding), it will disappoint.

As her wedding day draws near, Georgie Dwyer (Arielle Kebbel) has doubts surrounding her plans to marry Dr. Phillip Hamilton (David Haydn-Jones), a dashing and prominent plastic surgeon. Though Phillip qualifies as the “perfect” fiancé, Georgie feels a romantic spark is missing in their relationship. Tensions rise even further when Phillip’s sophisticated mother, Felice (Jaclyn Smith), blatantly frowns upon Georgie’s working class origins. On the picturesque island, Georgie keeps finding herself in chance encounters with Luke Griggs (Andrew W. Walker), a handsome ex-architect, who walked away from a high-end architectural firm to enjoy a simple, no-frills life. When an undeniable chemistry develops between Georgie and Luke, Georgie must decide if she’s going to move ahead with her rapidly approaching marriage to Phillip.

Bridal Wave stars Arielle Kebbel (90210) as Georgie, Andrew Walker (Wedding Planner Mystery) as Luke, David Haydn-Jones (A Cookie Cutter Christmas) as Phillip, Colleen Wheeler (Better Than Chocolate) as Emma, Anna Van Hooft (Flash Gordon) as Melissa, Daryl Shuttleworth (Amber Alert: Terror on the Highway) as Judd, and Jaclyn Smith (Charlie’s Angels) as Felice.

Bridal Wave is directed by Michael M. Scott (Along Came a Nanny) and written by Hallmark Channel regulars and husband and wife team Neal and Tippi Dobrofsky (A Royal Christmas and Surprised by Love)

Bridal Wave premieres Saturday, January 17th on Hallmark Channel!

via Hallmark/Duane Prentice

Wedding Planner Mystery takes a vow on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries!

Wedding Planner Mystery Hallmark Movies and Mysteries

Anyone messes with my wedding plans and they get a glue gun between the eyes!


[adrotate banner=”1″]Everyone look out! Weddings are the new source of mysterious mysteries! And not lame themed wedding designed for Facebook likes, there is a murder and kidnapping in Hallmark Movies and Mysteries’ Wedding Planner Mystery! Luckily, no one ever can outwit a wedding planner, thus Carnegie Kincaid is on the case.

Hey, is she named after Andrew Carnegie, who funded the Carnegie libraries, thus allowing this mystery book to have the obligatory references to libraries and librarians that just happen to be in 97% of mystery books I read? Obviously. Of course, I’d have to read Deborah Donnelly’s book to be certain, but I’m pretty confident in my guess. In fact, I hope the continued adaptation of mystery series means we’ll start getting all those series with talking animals and magical animals that help solve mysteries. I want a weekend that is all talking magic cats solving human murders and demanding more tuna!

Back to Wedding Planner Mystery:

Based on Deborah Donnelly’s novel “Veiled Threats,” Carnegie Kincaid (Erica Durance) is a wedding planner and a perfectionist in both work and romance. When a murder occurs and a bride (Chelan Simmons) is kidnapped surrounding the wedding of a prominent family embroiled in a high profile fraud scandal, Carnegie becomes a suspect. She is questioned by police and pursued by shady news reporter Aaron Gold (Andrew W. Walker). To make matters more terrifying, Carnegie is pretty certain whoever is responsible for the crime is out to get rid of her. As she struggles to clear her name, Carnegie is hounded by a hard-boiled detective (Rick Ravanello) and wooed by a handsome lawyer (Brandon Beemer). With her life exploding into a whirlwind mix of danger, mystery, and romance, Carnegie begins to realize that love does not always arrive in a pretty package and that the perfect “Prince Charming” she’s been waiting for may not have her best interests in mind.

Wedding Planner Mystery is directed by Ron Oliver (Perfect on Paper, Beethoven’s Treasure Tail), with a screenplay by Darcy Meyers (a writer for JAG and Silk Stalkings) based on the book by Deborah Donnelly.

Wedding Planner Mystery premieres Sunday, October 19 on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries!

via Hallmark Movies & Mysteries