Monthly Archives: June 2016

Shoktir Lorai (Review)

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Shoktir Lorai

aka শক্তির লড়াই
Shoktir Lorai
????
Written by ???
Directed by ???

Still better than the remake

Robocop gets remade by Bangla cinema, and the result is far from the worst Robocop film. Shoktir Lorai (শক্তির লড়াই) takes the basic premise of a murdered man being rebuilt into a robot who fights for justice, adds an evil counterpoint built by the villains, and throws in as many other Bangla tropes as they can to bring about a movie that is amazing and ridiculous while still being as Bangla as possible.

Bangla cinema is full of over the top characters and over the top action films, and it’s amazing just how naturally science fiction fits right in. We’ve seen a prior example of Bangla robots battling it out with Machine Man, and that film even stole some of the same parts of Robocop that Shoktir Lorai did! (though it was mostly stealing from Terminator franchise!)
Shoktir Lorai
As usual with these rarities, the review is a longform synopsis with commentary and we’ve included plenty of pictures and animated gifs. Thanks to Bangla cinema being so rarely written about in English, the cast and character names are partial guesses, and there are no subtitles to speak of. But at TarsTarkas.NET, we don’t need no stinking subtitles! I can’t seem to tell if this film was originally made for television or if it had a theatrical run, but television is where it first caught my attention as someone uploaded a clip to YouTube, and after that it was only a matter of two years of searching before I located a copy. Basically, any rare film you can’t find in less than an hour will probably take years to locate, that’s the disparity of rare cinema. So if people can fill in the blanks on who Shahin Alam and Notun are as well as all the actresses/actors who are nameless, it would be a great help!
Shoktir Lorai

Dr. Johan Buchi (Danny Sidak) – Our Hero is a do gooder scientist who tries to do the right thing and stand up to criminals, but just ends up putting his family at risk. The villains get their revenge and Johan is 99% murdered, but is rebuilt into…
Robocop (Danny Sidak) – Dr. Johan Buchi is back in Robocop form, rebuilt by his father in law to be a powerful cyborg that just so happens to be handy to use as a blunt instrument of revenge. He at first doesn’t remember anything except having a sense of justice, but eventually remembers his family.
Wife (Munmun) – Dr. Johan Buchi’s wife and Dr. Mola’s daughter. I couldn’t figure out her name, which is a real shame. Her and Johan have a daughter who might be named Lita, but she gets killed early in the film. Supports her newly Robocopped husband’s excursions of vengeance where he beats up the criminal underworld. Oddly she didn’t have her daughter rebuilt into a cyborg warrior, a shame because we missed out on Kindergarten Robocop! Munmun was also in Banglar King Kong
Dr. Mola (???) – Tubby Buddy! It’s good to see a familiar face, this guy who is in practically every Banglar film we watch! This time he’s a famed scientist who works on cyborg technologies and rebuilds the nearly dead Dr. Buchi, as well as Julie, into cyborg super powered people.
Inspector Suhil (???) – A heroic cop who tries his best to clean up the mean streets, which might happen now that a cyborg is throwing piles of criminals into his police station every night. Is sort of in a relationship with Charmine.
Charmine Mola (???) – Wife’s sister and Dr. Mola’s younger daughter, she has a carefree attitude and playfully flirts with Inspector Suhil, though she also flagrantly breaks the law while doing so with no remorse. Does little to advance the plot besides adding two songs.
Sharif Mohammad (???) – The grey haired businessman villain whose criminal empire blunders across Dr. Johan Buchi, so they order him wiped out when he refuses to not testify against them. Is incredulous when Robocop starts smashing up all his stuff.
Julie (???) – Sharif Mohammad’s girl who he shoots so she can have Robocop-ish powers of her own, though she’s more of Wonder Woman with super strength and bullet-deflecting metal bracelets. Her soundtrack is punctuated with crows shrieking which is awesome.

Shoktir Lorai
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The Wrong Child steps up to Lifetime!

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It seems like every week some long lost missing child returns to a family and destroys it. Well, every week on Lifetime, that is! The Wrong Child continues this wonderful tradition, but gives us Vivica A. Fox and Gary Daniels as the couple who get an unexpected bonus kid out for revenge! At least this time they aren’t also being murdered by the internet, so it’s only family drama.

Wealthy in her own right, Renee is happily married to the apparently successful architect Charles until Andrew, who claims to be Charles’ son, shows up on their doorstep. Charles seems suspicious of the teen, but Renee and her daughter are ready to welcome him with open arms — until they both realize that Andrew is a sociopath with an old grudge and a penchant for murder.

The Wrong Child stars Vivica A. Fox, Gary Daniels, Robbie Davidson, Stevana Jackson, Tracy Nelson, Helene Udy, and Alissa Latow. It’s written by Matthew Jason Walsh (The Wrong Roommate, Petticoat Planet) and directed by David DeCoteau! Yes, that David DeCoteau! The A Talking Cat!?! David DeCoteau!

Weirdly, there is no trailer nor stills to be easily found, so enjoy the film poster.

The Wrong Child premieres Sunday, July 26th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime

The Wrong Child Lifetime

Center Stage: On Pointe pirouettes onto Lifetime!

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Center Stage On Pointe Lifetime

Ballet sure has changed a lot since I was a kid…


Lifetime dumps a ton of movies off this weekend as well, it’s like they’ve been saving them up and are now on a spending spree! First up is the second sequel to the movie Center Stage, a film you may not even know had a first sequel. Well, it did, and sequel 2 continues the story of ballet, but not in the Black Swan way. Center Stage: On Pointe features the return of Nicole Muñoz as Bella Parker, the sister of the last main character, Kate, and the trials and tribulations of being a top dancer in ballet. It looks like Rachele Brooke Smith is back as Kate, though I don’t know how big her part will be as she isn’t even mentioned in the Lifetime blurbs. There is actually several returning actors including Peter Gallagher and Kenny Wormald, and the film features Dance Moms star Chloe Lukasiak.

A valued patron tasks Johnathan Reeves with taking the American Ballet Academy (ABA) in a new direction that combines contemporary styles with ballet. Reeves enlists his top dancers/choreographers Tommy, Cooper and Charlie to recruit modern and ballet dancers to compete at a Dance Camp training intensive with the winners gaining entry into the ABA. Tommy’s lead recruit is Bella Parker, the younger sister to renowned ballerina Kate. Bella, a natural modern dancer but whom struggles with ballet, is at first reluctant but decides to enter the program to try and prove herself and get out from under her sister’s shadow. Alongside other top dancers, including Gwen, will Bella have what it takes to make the cut?

Center Stage: On Pointe is directed by Director X. Yes, that’s his name, Director X., the period is part of his name. This is his first feature film, though he has directed a lot of music videos. No one seems to list who wrote the film, so it will be a mystery for now! It stars Nicole Muñoz, Peter Gallagher, Sascha Radetsky, Kenny Wormald, Ethan Stiefel, Barton Cowperthwaite, Maude Green, and Chloe Lukasiak.

Center Stage: On Pointe premieres Saturday, June 25th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime

Rockula (Review)

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Rockula

Rockula
1990
Written by Luca Bercovici, Jefery Levy, and Chris Ver Wiel
Directed by Luca Bercovici
Rockula
It’s the final of the three films in the Dean Cameron trilogy brought to us by Midnite for Maniacs (the others being Summer School and Ski School), and while Rockula doesn’t have “School” in the title, it does have a lot of songs, so if you ever wanted to see a vampire Elvis impersonator, Rockula has you covered!

Right off the bat (ha!) you know Rockula is going to be great because it has animated opening credits. Well, maybe not great, but it can’t be worse than Catalina Caper, the lowest-grade movie with animated opening credits of them all. Most others rate far higher, and Rockula is some fun fun cheese that if you saw while you were a young, impressionable child, you will have fond memories of for the rest of your life. If you are first exposed as a cynical adult, you’re probably going to be far less amused.
Rockula
I do remember Rockula from cable as a kid, but not overly so, it’s one of those movies that sort of blurred together with several other films to create a sort of super film that never existed. So Rockula can’t live up to the hype of the most memorable moments of a dozen or so films. But it does have its charm, and Rockula is a movie that deserves a chance.
Rockula
Ralph is a good vampire boy, in that he isn’t bloodthirsty, he can’t even stand the sight of blood, and just wants to play his music. Also he’s forced to relive a curse again and again because long ago he failed to save the life of his beloved Mona, and ever since history keeps repeating herself as she gets reincarnated, only for them to be destined to meet, fall in love, and for her to swiftly be killed off by a ham bone due to the reincarnated rage of a pirate. It’s a curse, except this time there is the added danger that he knows it might be the last time through.

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Revenge Porn returns with a vengeance on Lifetime!

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Revenge Porn Lifetime

I can’t believe we have to pay for access to see the porn pics they stole from you…


Revenge porn hits Lifetime with Revenge Porn! Lifetime basically renamed the film for maximum clicks from people flipping through their cable tv guide screens, as the film was originally called My Daughter’s Disgrace (which is probably a bad title because it shames the daughter for what the boyfriend does, but whatever…) You might think this sounds familiar, and that’s because it is, as the story was previously done with Break Up Nightmare just a few months back. So now we got another case of dueling Lifetime movies, and only one film will reign supreme! So who will it be???

Peyton Harris’s eighteen-year-old life is turned upside down when a set of nude photos of her are sent out to everyone she knows. She is ashamed and humiliated… but then it gets worse. The photos have also been posted on a “revenge porn” website called “exmyex.com.” Peyton’s mother, Elaine, in an effort to protect her child, reports this invasion of privacy to the police, but becomes frustrated with their lack of response. Feeling like she has no place left to turn, Elaine launches her own investigation into the owner of “exmyex.com” and plans the ultimate takedown. Elisabeth Rohm, Tiera Skovbye, Aliyah O’Brien star. (2016)

It’s not a surprise that revenge porn sites are creating a whole host of Lifetime movies, this is a situation that is perfect for all sorts of dramatic films and ridiculous exploitation, what Lifetime does best! Plus, it’s lead-in is the remake of Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?, so here’s hoping it’s good, even though Lifetime hasn’t released a trailer for it…

Revenge Porn stars Elisabeth Röhm (Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark), Jodelle Ferland (Home Alone: The Holiday Heist), Aliyah O’Brien (Garage Sale Mystery: Guilty Until Proven Innocent), Tiera Skovbye (Sugarbabies), David Lewis (Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever), Levi Meaden (1313: Bigfoot Island), R.J. Fetherstonhaugh (Hello Destroyer), and Sandy Sidhu (Preggoland). It’s written by Kendall Clark (Megachurch Murder) and directed by Monika Mitchell (Sugarbabies). As we have some Lifetime alumni in that group, things are looking up for some great Lifetime cheese!

Revenge Porn premieres Saturday, June 18th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime

Revenge Porn Lifetime

Actual promo still of the guy who runs a website in this movie, I can assure you that everyone who runs a website looks like this.

Ski School (Review)

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Ski School

Ski School
1990
Written by David Mitchell
Directed by Damian Lee
Ski School
The second film in the Dean Cameron Triple Feature Midnites for Maniacs show was Ski School (after Summer School), one of two flicks I had no experience with before the night began. This was Jesse Hawthorne Ficks’ favorite movie growing up, and the showing was his birthday bash. I was only vaguely aware of the film going in, thinking it was just another Police Academy style film that they must not have had a copy of at the video store I used growing up.

The film apes part of Summer School‘s character dynamic, though instead of Dean Cameron’s character having Dave Frazier(Gary Riley) to work off of, Cameron is paired up with Stuart Fratkin as his partner in crime. Fratkin and Cameron would again be paired in the tv series They Came From Outer Space, though Fratkin was noticeably not in Ski School 2, a movie that seemingly could only afford Dean Cameron.
Ski School
Ski School is a classic snobs vs slobs scenario mixed into the Academy format the Police Academy movies help popularized while also showcasing some great 90s extreme sports events. In addition to the skiing, thanks to it being the 90s, ever character is constantly wearing neon, especially neon tracksuits and ski outfits. They even work it into the party scenes by using a blacklight to make the partygoers all glow.

Basically, Dave Marshak (Dean Cameron) and his squad of party hounds run the disrespectful part of the ski school located in Building 8 (painted sideways like infinity.) They’re opposed by Reid Janssens (Mark Thomas Miller), a classic movie jerkass who demands perfection and hates the slobs, to the point where he is conspiring with the ski school’s owners to sell the place, at which point he’ll get a promotion. Not exactly the best evil plan, but it is evil and it is a plan that interferes with their partying lifestyle, so Marshak and his friends must save the day. Marshak is joined by his best bud Fitz Fitzgerald (Stuart Fratkin) and fellow party man Ed Young (Patrick Labyorteaux, who was also in Summer School), as well as hot new recruit John Roland (Tom Breznahan), who is an awesome skier but not from the rich, established skier areas, thus earning Janssens’ ire and getting shipped of to section 8.
Ski School
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