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Wingnut Web – A Nation of Teabaggers Edition

As several thousand right wingers prepare to go to their astroturfed “tea parties” where they plan to “teabag” Obama and Congress (gross!) their online presence has grown to a frothy rage at anyone who doesn’t believe that these tea parties will cause Obama to suddenly resign. No where is their rage more concentraed than at the FoxNews network of sites, as the media giant has decided to take up the flag of the tea parties and shed all its previous work to pretend it is fair and balanced. Several FoxNews anchors will be at tea parties, whipping the crowd into frenzies of hate against ACORN (who is secretly planning to disrupt the tea parties, or so this email forward told me!) and liberals in general. Asking exactly what these nutsos are protesting against will get you a host of responses, ranging from imaginary grievances to outright paranoia. I predict a lot of funny signs that are hilarious for reasons escaping the intentions of those holding them, and then nothing else except a bunch of complaints of how the media ignored them. But we’ll get plenty of crazy internet posts! We’ve started work already, collecting some fun stuff from FoxNews’s HuffingtonPost ripoff site, thefoxnation.com. Don’t worry, True Believers, we got plenty of racist stuff, too! So sit back and enjoy this Wingnut Web, and make sure to drink tea while doing so! (Awake is the best tea ever!)

How dare Obama be president when a hostage crisis ends!
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Let’s waste billions sending hundreds of aircraft to fight dinky fishing boats because patriot is feeling inadequate over his tiny, tiny penis
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Teddy Roosevelt somehow went back in time, killed Jefferson, and took his place as president to fight with Tripoli pirates!
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Obama is a MUSLIM!
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NPR can’t compete, that’s why its still around…
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Gay Marriage=MUSLIMS! Why didn’t I see the connection…
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Gay people are sick children
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MUSLIMS don’t have rights here in America! Especially little girl MUSLIMS!
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Ron Howard wants Mexican Drug Cartels to invade America
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Obama doesn’t have the stones to get us involved in another pointless war against a non-defined enemy!
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Negro Pirates in loinclothes
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If only Nobama had a brain…
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I sure hate Chitown and his Long Island Iced Tea! (What?)
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Chitown must be a real jerk to have these guys hating on him and his Long Island Iced Teas
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Oh, snap! thefoxnation.com got owned!
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I wish we weren’t so divided, its the fault of THEE FRAKKING LIBERALS! GAH!!
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Chitown makes more friends
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TONY C was that kid who would eat bugs for a quarter during recess
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Let’s deport all Mexicans, even US citizens!
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The government ruins everything, so follow the constitution! Totally not contradictory at all…
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Clinton introduced the Estate Tax on July 6, 1797? He sure looks young for his age!
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Ten pasty white guys with signs is so dangerous we have to bus in evil ACORNs to cause a ruckus
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Chitown attack out of nowhere!
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Black people!
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Bill fails to understand how graduated income tax levels work
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In response to a post about ACORN coming to the tea parties, “Mom” proves sometimes Mom needs to get sent to the home
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Why doesn’t Obama institute conservative Republican policies? WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!
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Barack Obama somehow caused the entire world’s economy to collapse as a freshman senator by laws passed before he was elected and by holding a gun to the head of greedy banks
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Black people!
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Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down? ACORN! ACORN!
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I hope ACORN nuts don’t get in my face while I am teabagging…
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I will keep an eye out for this guy’s obviously gripping story!
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That’s enough for now, but thefoxnation.com will continue to be a great supply of idiots saying dumb things. And that is what we love here on Wingnut Web!

Oh Noes…Lost!

Poor Rosanna Pulido has lost her bid for the US House:

U.S. House – District 5 – Special General
564 of 578 Precincts Reporting – 98%
Quigley, Mike Dem 29,634 69%
Pulido, Rosanna GOP 10,360 24%
Reichel, Matt Grn 2,839 7%

Better luck next time…NOT!

Today is election day!

Today is the day that Freeper and Republican congressional candidate Rosanna Pulido goes up for election against Demnocratic candidate Mike Quigley in Illinois 5th district. We are expecting her to pull in 16%, with 6% as a write-in vote for Abe Lincoln. Will update this by her actual loss amount, and then keep you all posted of any meltdowns that happen after she loses (we’re pulling for crazy!)

Original article
How TarsTarkas.NET got famous on the internet

Wingnut Web – Joining Al Qaeda Edition

Resistnet.com claims to be the peaceful resistance to President Obama’s agenda. Apparently, peacefully resisting means cheering on terrorists and asking if they need help! That is no surprise, their entire site is filed with hateful diatribe, racism, and treasonous statements like those that follow. Some of the members are still fighting the Civil War! It takes a special breed of crazy to stand out at Resistnet, and these guys have it in spades!

We open with the news story that started it all, a supposed warning from Al Qaeda that they will attack Washington. Kaleb Jones starts off the thread by immediately declaring it an inside job by President Obama!
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Darren is all for our government getting killed! (Peacefully, of course)
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It’s Obama’s fault if we get attacked, says Rev. Dr. Micheal D. D., but it is a good thing!
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D Reimer, God loving patriot who wants to see the government blown up!
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Help the terrorists lynch ’em all, says Darren!
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Slow Poke knows it is right to help your fellow man
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No one can pull a fast one on Hubert!
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America is like one of those girls who cut themselves, says Anita Hughes
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Don wears short skirts and carries pom-poms while forming the top of the “Go Al Qaeda!” pyramid!
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The American government will use Russian nukes to blow up its own capital – someone actually thinks this!
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President Bush kept us safe for 8 years. 9-11 and the anthrax things never happened ::waves hand::
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Hu-yuck, kill the president! (peacefully)
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Margie disagrees…kill Congress instead! (peacefully)
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John C Matthews gets what he asks for sometimes!
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That’s enough for now, I’m too busy contacting the FBI to continue, so until next time, keep your Wingnuts Webby!

How TarsTarkas.NET became famous on the internet

TarsTarkas.NET has recently become a powerful investigative journalistic force, a role that took me by surprise because I was just posting stuff. It turns out the stuff has major political consequences for a certain crazy lady running for Congress in Illinois! We wrote long ago in a previous Wingnut Web about how Rosanna Pulido, Republican candidate for Congress in Illinois’s 5th district, posts on the website FreeRepublic.com as “chicagolady” and has said many things that could be thought of as bigoted and hatefilled. This race is largely ignored because she is going to get her clocked cleaned, but I found it interesting that a big party candidate was freely posting racist crap on the internet and no one cared. At all. Sure, her own party was ignoring her, but here is a chance to further humiliate them anyway. The pundits and the media ignored it all.

On the internet, there was small mention of it. First it showed up here. Then a blog showed up archiving even more of Ms. Pulido’s ramblings: Rosanna Pulido is a Freeper. Still, nothing. Finally, a local Chicago paper stumbled across the story after being emailed, and soon got to the bottom of it. Which involved speaking to us! And thus, TarsTarkas.NET was quoted by ChitownDailyNews in the Media Watchdog column written by “Lou Grant”
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This lead to a thread on FreeRepublic.com ( http://freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2214476/posts ) where they quote the ChitownDailyNews article, and the quoted part includes TarsTarkas.NET, thus TarsTarkas.NET is now in Freep-land! Then the fun begins as the FreeRepublic posters begin to insult everyone, including TarsTarkas.NET!

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So here comes the fun!

pissant is all about namecalling
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La Lydia seems to not understand how public funding works (Soros is not the only person with money)
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denydenydeny doesn’t know there is a difference between being an active participant in hate like chicagolady vs. being on a board with some guy who did bad things when you were in shortpants.
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wac3rd is an amateur poet and amateur racist
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Cletus D. Yokel is all about the lawyers
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GOPJ’s houseguest story causes the next 15 posts or wo to argue about what is the best example
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chicagolady then makes an appearance to try to smooth things over, claiming she was only posting bad things in 2003! Of course, any cursory glance at Rosanna Pulido is a Freeper will find all sorts of naughty posts written after 2003. The girl can’t tell the truth!
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Here is a 2004 post where she calls Obama “Osama” How about a 2008 entry calling Mexicans the new KKK?
She has been posting regularly despite running for election. And she’ll still post there after she loses. Ain’t life sweet?

Wingnut Web – White People Never Get a Fair Shake Edition

Wingnut Web is a fun little feature where we visit radical right wing sites just to see the crazy. Resistnet.com is one such site, filled to the brim with those who cower in fear of Obama and his horde of Kenyan ACORN private army illegal Mexicans who want a United North America, commie everything, and to ban all guns. This is after you are forcibly gay married to an abortion. Thanks to the thousands of George Soros dollars I get, I have all the time I need to rake through the sites and collect the crazies for public mocking, before the entire thing is sent off to the FBI so the posters get put on lists for the FEMA camps.

But first let’s show an example of Resistnet trying to outdo themselves for showing pride in their whiteness! Every post in this update except the first one by Chris is from the same thread. I barely had to do any work! Hooray for laziness!

Chris here asks a decent question and is berated and insulted for pages and pages for months on end until the thread is locked because there are no racists on Resistnet.com so the thread has no more use! Many of the posters seem to think Chris is a liberal plant because he is upset over the White Nationalism.
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The very day Resistnet declares racism there is a non-issue, we get this lovely thread by Carl Gottstein, fresh of the boat from 1944 Germany:
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Don realizes that helping poor people is nothing but liberal brainwashing, somehow got Obama elected, and will destroy the US!
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Our favorite crazy, david c. hubbard, goes on a long rant about how white people=freedom
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Then Dwayne Hefner chimes in about how minorities can’t walk two steps before someone pays for their college and promotes them in the army:
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mftysac77 knows that the government just wants to kill whitey. Or the rap song. They’re the same thing, really…
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Ruth Petersen reminds us all that the only racists are Obama supporters and the North American Union!
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ThePhoenixFromTheAshes is related to everyone in Britain but also every soldier who fought for the CSA in the civil war, which was totally not about slavery except for the fact that it was.
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Equal rights for cells!
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William Weese joins in on the fun!
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RAPTOR is too stupid to learn that Micheal Richards was never in court and the whole email forward is a lie.
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Margie knows white people did everything and everyone else just stood around picking their noses
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Hey, Carl Gottstein returns to give cryptic threats!
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LambiesAmerica knows Obama is only president because the blacks will riot, but is NOT RACIST!
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Carl Gottstein is slapped in the face with his erection upon reading that post!
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Bill Mullins is one of the few posters at Resistnet who isn’t missing his brain and is a cop
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Carl Gottstein demands the truth from the man in blue!
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Linda knows racism stinks, but Jesus will cure it! Somehow!
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Annie Conners-Maloney is the non-whitest white supremacist of them all!
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