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Naked Solder

Naked Soldier got released in theaters finally and they released a buttload of HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE images, one of which is important because it has the only image of Jiang Luxia I’ve seen from the film. As she’s the only thing keeping me interested at this point it’s a pretty important fact, as Naked Soldier will undoubtedly be very very awful. But maybe I’m wrong. No, I’m not wrong. Stop sewing the seeds of discord. History will be on my side. As we shall see, once this shows up on Western shores and I review and trash it. I mean give it a fair review.

So here Jiang Luxia is all dressed up in mannish clothes looking like Yukari Oshima 2.0 meets Disco Godfather. I call that a good thing, though I know there are people out there who don’t care for Yukari Oshima or Jiang Luxia. Judging by the picture she works for a 1930s private eye who also employs a Ukrainian enforcer woman and a gay manservant.
Naked Soldier

The plot for those who need a refresher:

Interpol agent CK Long busted a billion-dollar drug deal fifteen years ago. The cartel has avenged itself by hiring Madame Rose’s organization of assassins to kill CK Long’s entire family. Long himself survives and believes his young daughter is still alive. In fact, for these fifteen years, the girl has been kidnapped by Madame Rose, brainwashed and trained into beautiful, sexy killer Phoenix.

Phoenix has now become the top-ranked killer in Madame Rose’s organization. She is skilled in combat and always completes her missions. Thanks to her band of killers Madame Rose has expanded her criminal organization and now assigns missions in many parts of the world. CK Long has never imagined that he would one day become the target of his own daughter’s mission.

The rest of the images –
Naked Soldier
I dumped the rest after the fold…

Naked Soldier gets a trailer and maybe a release month

Naked Soldier (which we’ve written about before) has been pushed back again and again to the point where it is a mystery to everyone when the film will come out. But that mystery might be close to being solved when current rumors pinpoint the release date as July. Just when in July is not clear, nor how wide the release will be. What is clear from the trailer is Marco Mak saw Naked Weapon and thought that was far better to base the film on than Naked Killer. This is sad, and makes me wonder if Marco Mak has some sort of substance abuse problem, because only drugs of the highest caliber could explain Naked Weapon being held to a higher regard than Naked Killer.

You might think that means we won’t bother watching this once it pops up at DVD stores in Chinatown. You couldn’t be more wrong, for Jiang Luxia is in this and we’ll watch whatever awful film she’s in just to support one of the few actual female martial artists in Hong Kong cinema.

The plot:

Interpol agent CK Long busted a billion-dollar drug deal fifteen years ago. The cartel has avenged itself by hiring Madame Rose’s organization of assassins to kill CK Long’s entire family. Long himself survives and believes his young daughter is still alive. In fact, for these fifteen years, the girl has been kidnapped by Madame Rose, brainwashed and trained into beautiful, sexy killer Phoenix.

Phoenix has now become the top-ranked killer in Madame Rose’s organization. She is skilled in combat and always completes her missions. Thanks to her band of killers Madame Rose has expanded her criminal organization and now assigns missions in many parts of the world. CK Long has never imagined that he would one day become the target of his own daughter’s mission.

Naked Soldier

The nakedest fully clothed person...ever!

Naked Soldier

Naked Soldier is the latest update of the Naked Weapon/Naked Killer type films, this time Jenn Tse Ting-Ting stars (Nicholas Tse’s sister), and Sammo Hung stops by. Haunted Office and Tracing Shadow director Marco Mak Chi-Sin will be helming this time out. The plot:

Interpol agent CK Long busted a billion-dollar drug deal fifteen years ago. The cartel has avenged itself by hiring Madame Rose’s organization of assassins to kill CK Long’s entire family. Long himself survives and believes his young daughter is still alive. In fact, for these fifteen years, the girl has been kidnapped by Madame Rose, brainwashed and trained into beautiful, sexy killer Phoenix.

Phoenix has now become the top-ranked killer in Madame Rose’s organization. She is skilled in combat and always completes her missions. Thanks to her band of killers Madame Rose has expanded her criminal organization and now assigns missions in many parts of the world. CK Long has never imagined that he would one day become the target of his own daughter’s mission.

Important casting information that you need to know is Jiang Luxia will show up as a Thai assassin! The official site has all sorts of goofy cast bios in their flash-centric page (Still hate the flash pages…) making the film look more team centric, instead of lone women being awesome. Corey Yuen will do the action, so the action won’t be horrible. We can save that for the plot!

Jenn Tse is Phoenix, other assassins are code named White Snake, Black Dragon, Ivy, and Selina. Midriffs will be bared, but that’s probably the only nudity you’ll get!

SO here’s a teaser, followed by two posters. Enjoy! Because you know we’ll watch this, no matter how terrible it is.

Naked Soldier

Upcoming Japanese films

Gothic And Lolita Psycho

Director Go Ohara (Geisha vs Ninjas) and effects man Yoshihiro Nishimura (effects on Tokyo Gore Police and Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl) will bring us Gothic And Lolita Psycho.
Rina Akiyama stars as the Gothic and Lolita Psycho, named Yuki. Ruito Aoyagi, Minami Tsukui, and Yourei Yanagi also star. You might know Rina Akiyama from her numerous photos of her butt. She seriously has so many photos of her butt they call her Oshirina, which is a nickname incorporating the Japanese word for “butt” and Rina’s name. She was in a bunch of Kamen Rider stuff, so if you like that stuff you probably found this post by googling her name.

Official synopsis:
Gothic and Lolita … the fashion reflects her dark and childish mentality. YUKI, the heroine, saw her mother killed by cruel gangs. She vows revenge! Knock off the enemies with her transformable umbrella. So gorgeous and so savage…

Who killed mother? What the hell are the gangs? What is the truth and purpose that father knows? Her coming terrible destiny is going with the dead bodies.

Basically, Yuki becomes a Gothic Lolita dressed agent of revenge after she gets demon powers and has a magic umbrella. So like Mary Poppins, if she killed people. So like Mary Poppins. Everything these guys have made that I’ve seen has been fun, so this one will probably be as well.
So I ganked some pics from NipponCinema and a gravure shot or two of Rina Akiyama:
gothic-and-lolita-psycho.jpg
rina-akiyama-galp.jpg

Mutant Girls Squad
Yoshihiro Nishimura (Tokyo Gore Police), Noboru Iguchi (Machine Girl) and Tak Sakaguchi (Be A Man, Samurai School) joined forces to co-direct Mutant Girls Squad, which promises more gore, more schoolgirls fighting, and more weird Japanese stuff.
Poster one-sheets here

30 second teaser trailer (NSFW for brief boobage flashing)

In non-Japanese news,
via HKMDB
Wong Jing’s Naked Soldiers to be directed by Cash Chin Man-Kei features Tang Yifei

Gotta love that Naked Killer advertising method still being used 18 years later! Will this be good enough to stand with Naked Killer, or be terrible like Naked Weapon and Lethal Angels was? Only time will tell…