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Meet your future occupiers

When the Wingnuts begin firing off their high-powered assault rifles and declare the beginning of Civil War II these nice folks will be there to greet you with either a bullet (if you don’t look like them) or a cheery gift-basket full of MRE rations, Confederate flags, and Bibles (maybe some tea bags too).

Yup, if you can’t read their banner this is a photo of those brave souls in the Texas branch of The Well Regulated Militia (http://militias.ning.com), or atleast the members that were brave enough to meet other internet militia folks in middle-of-nowhere Texas. The Regulator (Oath Keeper), who keeps popping up on Resistnet and Militia.Ning, posted this proud photo so I assume that’s him standing in the middle with the .44 that would make Charles Bronson run in the other direction. Let’s see who else we got here…

This pictures almost reads like the High School A/V Club’s yearbook photo (except with a lot more guns and illegitimate children). Looks like all the members of The Texas Well Regulated Militia made it out for this photo op though. We’ve got:

The young kid who got dragged to this boring dumb thing by his lame dad

The shotgun wedding couple who decided to bring their 2 year old along so he could play with all the pretty firearms

Some pudgy porker guy whose weapon of choice appears to be a baseball bat or plank of wood

A creepy Sam Elliott look alike who prefers to bludgeon people with guns rather than shoot them

One of the GEICO cavemen (or what I assume is Sam Elliott’s wife)

The token Vietnam vet who prefers historic rifles

The fat goony looking fellow with an AK-47 (Jorts do not provide good camouflage buddy!)

What I can only assume is fat goony guy’s hot sister

Butchy McButcherson (the token closet lesbian of the group)

and some poor old guy who they found sleeping at the bus station (and who continues to sleep while his picture is taken, at least they propped a rifle up against him).

Not pictured: the crystal meth lab

This cheery fellow is apparently part of the group too but I guess he didn’t fit into the photo with his huge gun and all. The following text was included along with the pictures:

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF)
Do YOU recognize any of these people?

These Texas boys & ladies will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists :

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken fried steak.
4. They don’t like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

Just because you can't poke them doesn't mean they're not out to get you!

Social networking! Web 2.0! Backwater militias! You think all three would go hand in hand with each other. I mean honestly in a world where Twilight fans can openly battle it out on Facebook over a werewolf or a vampire being the cuter one (Team Jacob all the way!!1) you think it’d be easy for an older generation to pick up this technology and run with it to organize something a little more productive. Enter the American militia movement!

Besides our favorite web socializers on Resistnet.com there exist a bunch of other and equally as crazy Ning.com social networks dedicated to organizing and mobilizing the MILITA MOVEMENT across various states. Members use these sites such as Conservative States of America and The Regulators Anti-Socialism Vigilance Committee to bring members together, divide them into groups by state, get them to meet up and practice survival techniques together, shoot off guns, spout off about Nancy Piglosi, and do other kinds of activities that militias tend to engage in. Besides the fact that the militia Nings have some of the most radical “we need to start a war in the United States and overthrow/kidnap/kill President Obama RIGHT NOW” type talk on them they also, keeping true to the militia stereotype, are full of members who are as PARANOID AS SHIT!

I’d argue that they’re not even rationally paranoid, but that wouldn’t quite make sense to begin with. It remains though that these folks are so paranoid, especially CSA, that their own fevered delusions of government agents infiltrating their “super secure” Ning.com site are contagious enough to send the movements leaders into a mass panic, possibly deteriorating and destroying their own communities in the process. These emails were sent out over the course of a week or so. I guess with Christmas and all being last week these folks had a lot of extra free time to spend on the computer. I offer these militia communiques in the order they were sent and with as little explanation as possible since the story more or less tells itself:

A message to all members of THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA)

Warning from the highest Command
When we realize a traitor has been in our midst it gives us all a sick feeling in the depths of our souls. Especially when that person has a lot of secret information.
One such person is Col JacktheFAC.
This member has received a court martial for treason.
After a very long investigation it was found beyond a shadow of a doubt that Col jacktheFAC was a traitor.
For your Security do not email this person or give him any information.
If you are discovered to be giving him any information you will be banned for life.

Visit THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA) at: http://5th-col-trc.ning.com/?xg_source=msg_mes_network

If there’s one thing the militia movement loves it’s making people out to be scapegoats and calling them traitors. Their “investigation” must have been pretty rigorous and exposed a lot of shit though because this was sent out the same day:

Dear CSA Member:

Please read carefully and completely:

We will be closing our ning site soon, as we’ve discovered that the ning site was set up by DHS to get all patriots groups in one place for easier monitoring.

We now have a secure site which we are now moving people over to. We will not be able to be monitored on this site as it is highly encrypted, and hidden within several other programs. There is no direct way to get to this site, or join this site, and there are several layers of security to assure this, as our system checks everyone who even attempts to join.

Your background has been checked and you have been cleared to move to the new secure site for the CSA. You will need to sign on using your current user name and password. The first thing you need to do once you’ve signed in, is fill out your profile. Make sure there are no questions with blanks, N/A, Opt Out or nonsense answers as our system will not approve you in until all information is properly completed.

You will be asked for your phone number. This is so we will have it in order to contact you should the internet go down. Do not be concerned that the number will be seen on the internet as everything you put on your profile, all posts and all comments from this point forward are in a highly encrypted format and cannot be seen by anyone outside the CSA, or any other unapproved member; not even other members of the CSA that are not cleared for this data.

Once you’ve finish the profile, hit the submit button and submit it. You will receive an ERROR 404 message or a message saying that your application is pending.  This is suppose to happen.

DO NOT SUBMIT MORE THAN ONE PROFILE. DOING SO WILL CAUSE DUPLICATES AND BOTH DUPLICATES AND THE ORIGINAL PROFILES WILL BE BOOTED FROM THE SITE.

You will not be able to enter the secure site to view, post or message anyone, until the system checks your profile to make sure that it’s completed and right, and that you’re on the probationary approved list. If completed completely and correctly you will receive a second message saying that you may now enter the secure site. The first thing you should do once inside is change your password, as this has probably been compromised by the snoopy Federal monitors on the ning site. Please use a very difficult password of numbers and letters, that do not mean anything to you or to others. It should be so difficult that you may need to write it down to remember it. The system is set up to retain your new password so that it does not need to be reentered over and over.

There are certain groups on ning, that if you belong to them, you will be considered a security risk and not allowed in. Groups associated with the The United American Militia, US Militias, Minute Man sites, or any of The Regulator’s sites, will be denied entry into this forum. If you belong to one of these you must quit these groups to be approved.

Our number one concern is security of our information, communications and the safety of our patriots. As a result, these actions will get you banned from the secured site:

1) Returning to and rejoining a banned ning group.

2) Recruiting people from this site to join a ning site.

3) The re-posting of any data on this site on the ning site.

4) Attacking or belittling another member. If one does this please do not respond to them but send me the name of the person and we will deal with them ourselves and their posts will be removed.

5) Any contacts with a government agency by internet or phone.

In the future you should invite your friends to join us at the our new secured site directly, as the ning site will be closed by the first week of January, 2010, at the latest.

The new site is very similar to the ning site, except it’s secure and encrypted for a second layer of protection. Former subjects that were not permitted on the other site should still be refrained from discussion on the new secure site. Since the secure site is not the final layer of security and we may have undesirables join as a result of your invitations.

Everyone at this level of security will be thoroughly checked for any ties to any opposition sites. Those who have no such connections will be moved to an even higher level of security within our system, the other will not, and inviting them to the highest secured level will do no good since our system will double check against an approved list to determine that the person is authorized. Any attempt to access the higher level of secured site without authorization, will also get you banned.

The link to move to ASAP:
http://froggal.forumotion.net/You-Must-Fill-out-this-Profile-Form-h1.htm

Then a day passed. Nothing. Silence. Things must have resolved themselves! Well, not quite:

A message to all members of THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA)

First just to make this clear so that you will understand that what i
am about to tell you is the truth and i have nothing to gain or want to
gain by it, I believe in Truth Justice and Freedom for this Republic
and I will die defending it and its citizens.We are THE State of GA
Units.We do not care wether or not we have a General or even a part of
CSA we are and always will be the Resistance for our state. In fact If
you relay this information to General Lee he will make me an outcast
like he made me do to jacktheFAC My frien Anthony. But i do not really
care about that i care about the whole Resistance structure being
undermined by this Man who ever he really is.
I want to keep the whole Resistance in place as it is minus the bad
people.If i find i am baned then i will Go back to Comamanding the GA
Resistance just like I had done before minus the rest of the nations
units.
Now having got all of that out of the way.

All the problems on both ning and the Forum that i created for a safe
place for all Units and members was done by General Edward lee.
He sent us email stating we will have to engage the enemy now not wait
would you say that/? Would any right minded General Mary and major ric
are witnesses to this email he sent to us.
Here is what he did and how he did it. Why i can not tell.

Using admin he used other members accounts to attack other members and spread general mayhem to what purpose I can not tell.
In this process he ended up Framing Col JacktheFAC. Who though might be a little different was a good man.

The General Himself told me he deleted jack off of the new Forum But
when i gained admin access i discovered that was a lie. I deleted
jacktheFAC myself before delving into my forum records. I should have
waited.

After much investigation and after gaining admin access to both CSA on
ning and the Admin at the forum I began to discover a lot of things.
What I Discovered was evidence beyond question that not only is General
Lee Computer literate he is actually Very Smart in the field. The one
who was doing everything was in fact General Edward Lee. It was his IP
address every time. his Admin login. and his IP on the users account at
the time that a lot of damaging posts were made as other members. It
was always Him  both on the forum and on ning.
He ordered that i mass email an informative message stating Col jacktheFAC was a traitor.
But when i traced it all it came back to General LEE.
IP
24.196.2.42
State Alabama
City Birmingham
Host 24-196-2-42.cl.hcp.leds.al.charter.com

If this is to be our General we would rather have Obama.
This is the second time i have mentioned this {We want to choose our own General to Represent our State.
The Sovereign State of Georgia. Not the CSA State of Georgia. Not the Nation of CSA. The Free Republic of America.

If not we wont have a General with or without a General We still remain
the same Resistance we were before CSA Thank you for your time and
understanding
Commander Georgia State Resistance 1st infantry SOS

Visit THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA) at: http://5th-col-trc.ning.com/?xg_source=msg_mes_network

Not only are these guys trained in the militia arts but they also have super internet detective skills! Also sent the same day:

A message to all members of THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA)

Request for the future security of our Mission
A 4 General Panel elected by the members of the national resistance.
Voting should be done by polll with viewible email so it can be counted correctly.
If we are a free republic we should be able to elect representatives for our ststes. We do not wish to be asigned General.
Any one who proposes this should send email to the generals requesting an election.

Visit THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA) at: http://5th-col-trc.ning.com/?xg_source=msg_mes_network

Yeah, didn’t make much sense to me either. That message was probably sent by a GOVERNMENT PLANT anyway. You can tell this next one is probably verbatim from CSA head:

R.L. Smith has sent you a message on Patriotic Resistance

http://5th-col-trc.ning.com/

============= TIME FOR TALKING IS OVER!! ==============

== NOW STARTS THE TIME OF PREPARATION FOR ACTION!==

If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace.
Thomas Paine
December 19, 1776

1) OUR PRIMARY GOAL IS TO RESTORE GOD TO HIS RIGHTFUL PLACE IN AMERICA; THE CENTER OF ALL THAT IS DONE.

2) OUR 2ND GOAL IS TO RESTORE THE MORAL VALUES, HONOR AND RESPECT FOR OUR FELLOW MAN THAT WE’VE HELD IN THE PAST. WE WANT TO RESTORE RESPECT FOR AMERICA AND AMERICANS EVERYWHERE. YOU MESS WITH ONE OF US, YOU MESS WITH ALL OF US.

3) OUR 3RD GOAL IS TO PUT THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT BACK WHERE IT SHOULD BE ACCORDING TO THE CONSTITUTION. WE SEEK TO REMOVE ALL JUDGES WHO THINK THEY HAVE CONSTITUTIONAL AUTHORITY TO LEGISLATE FROM THE BENCH. WE ALSO SEEK THE RIGHT OF THE PEOPLE TO REMOVE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES AND FEDERAL JUDGES THAT WON’T APPLY CURRENT U.S. LAW TO DECIDE CASES THAT ARE BEFORE THEM, INSTEAD OF USING FOREIGN LAW AND PERSONAL FEELINGS TO DETERMINE THEIR DECISION.

4) OUR 4TH GOAL IS TO PREVENT ALL POLITICIANS FROM EVER BEING ABLE TO DRAG AMERICA DOWN AGAIN, BY PLACING 4 YEAR TERM LIMITS ON ALL OF THEM. WE ALSO WANT TO TAKE THE DECISION OF PRESIDENTIAL IMPEACHMENT OUT OF POLITICIAN’S HANDS AND PUT IT IN THE HANDS OF THE PEOPLE. WE SEEK TO ADD A PROVISION FOR THE PEOPLE TO IMPEACH ANY POLITICIAN THAT DOES NOT VOTE IN A MANNER THAT REFLECTS THE VALUES & POSITION OF HIS or HER CONSTITUENCY’S VOICE.

5) WE ARE NOT A MILITANT MILITIA GROUP; WE ARE A CITIZEN RESISTANCE! WE STRIVE TO PROTECT OUR COMMUNITY, OUR STATE AND OUR COUNTRY FROM THOSE WHO WOULD DESTROY OUR FREEDOMS & OUR AMERICAN WAY OF LIFE!

6) IF WE CANNOT RESTORE STATE SOVEREIGNTY, THEN WE SEEK TO SECEDE FROM THE CONTROL OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND BECOME A SEPARATE AND FREE NATION IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE OUR GOALS.

7) WE ARE NOT A WHITE SUPREMACIST GROUP & ALL RACES ARE WELCOME! WE DO NOT BELIEVE IN, OR WANT TO RESTORE SLAVERY OR ALLOW DISCRIMINATION AGAINST ANYONE.

8) WE ARE PRO ISRAEL AND RESPECT JEWS FOR THEIR BELIEFS.

9) WE DO NOT ADVOCATE THE OVERTHROW OF OUR GOVERNMENT, AS LONG AS IT’S OUR GOVERNMENT ABIDING BY THE TENANTS OF THE U.S. CONSTITUTION
.
10) WE STRIVE TO STAY WITHIN THE LAW. AND WELCOME LAW ENFORCEMENT TO JOIN WITH US IN GUARDING OUR NATION FROM TYRANNY, BURDENSOME LAWS, HIGH TAXATION AND THE ELITIST ATTITUDES OF THOSE IN DC.

11) WE ALSO SEEK TO ABOLISH THE IRS AND REPLACE IT A NATIONAL SALES TAX THAT WILL NEVER INCREASE TO MORE THAN 10%, or, IMPLEMENT A FLAT 10% TAX RATE WHICH ALSO CAN NEVER BE RAISED OVER 10%. THE SAME WILL APPLY TO A COMBINATION OF STATE AND LOCAL SALES TAX; COMBINED THEY SHOULD NOT EXCEED 10%. IF 10% IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR GOD FOR THE LAST 6,000 years, THEN IT SHOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR GOVERNMENT, FOR THE NEXT 6,000 YEARS.

12) WE DO NOT SEEK A CONFRONTATION WITH THE GOVERNMENT, BUT LIKE OUR FOUNDING FATHERS WE’LL NOT BACK DOWN IF WE ARE THREATENED BY OUR GOVERNMENT. WE WILL NOT FIRE THE FIRST SHOT AGAINST ANY ONE, OR CAUSE THEM TO FIRE THE FIRST SHOT AT US BY OUR ACTIONS. WE ONLY WANT TO LIVE FREE & SUCCEED OR FAIL ON OUR OWN WITHOUT ANY GOVERNMENT INTERFERENCE. WE WANT TO MAINTAIN OUR GOD-GIVEN CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS. THEREFORE, WE WILL ONLY RESPOND IF WE FEEL A CITIZEN’S RIGHTS ARE JEOPARDIZED BY GOVERNMENT, OR IF THE GOVERNMENT (or one of its agencies, including the UN) MAKES UNCONSTITUTIONAL MOVES TO INVALIDATE OUR CONSTITUTION, OR ATTEMPTS TO SURRENDER OUR NATIONAL SOVEREIGNTY TO ANOTHER ENTITY’S CONTROL.

http://5th-col-trc.ning.com/

http://www.resistnet.com/profiles/message/listInbox?xg_source=msg_mes_private


To control which emails you receive on Patriotic Resistance, go to:
http://www.resistnet.com/?xgo=1/ixCdNfz5-aZewczHeftFnG5hwGMaYJRLqaUFSxFEZgdcm3SrXesg

So finally we see what these militia types really care about (like it’s a surprise to everyone, right?). But just when you think all is said and done, all of the drama would be out of the way, I get these the next day:

THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA)
5th COLUMN PATRIOTS AGAINST BIG GOVERNMENT, SOCIALISM AND THE NWO
A message to all members of THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA)

all the innocent people framed by general lee:

American me
hired-gun
cj
kiki
col jacktheFAC

Visit THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA) at: http://5th-col-trc.ning.com/?xg_source=msg_mes_network

Framed I tell ya!

THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA)
SEEKING TO REGAIN THE VALUES & HERITAGE WE’VE LOST
A message to all members of THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA)

I have been told by a trusted friend that messages were sent out to some of you this morning containing a number of lies and distortions. I am not sure who sent out these messages, but the person who did had only one intention in mind, and that was to harm, and plant a seed of distrust to be put into the minds of our members in order to destroy our unity as we stand as guardians of freedom and Constitutional rights for all American citizens.

You know what I’ve stood for since the inception of this group … just compare what you know about me to what was said in those emails. Then ask yourself why would I start a group like this on a Federally monitored site, put myself and my family in jeopardy, just to sabotage the site or cause problems for our members.

We are at war, even if no one is firing a shot. We can expect infiltrators and the enemies of a free America to be among us trying to trap us, trying to undermine our purpose, and trying to keep us from achieving our goals. Do not allow them to suceed.

If you have questions please contact me, General Warrior Priest, or Captain Summer Dawn, or Major Felix McDaniels (who lives near me and knows me personally).

General Lee

Visit THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA) at: http://5th-col-trc.ning.com/?xg_source=msg_mes_network

Just in case you were unclear about what they stood for, here’s what they really stand for! Yeah (and don’t believe anyone else)! But let’s put all this craziness behind us and gloss over it with a nice cheery Happy Holidays message:

THE WELL REGULATED AMERICAN MILITIAS!!
We dedicate our hearts,minds and bodies to protecting our great Republic!
A message to all members of THE WELL REGULATED AMERICAN MILITIAS!!

Hello everyone!! Wanted To wish you all a very merry christmas and a very happy New Year!! We have a lot of work to do this coming year!! The battle for the soul of our lives, liberty and freedom are at stake more than ever!! We wont let the enemies of our country have our joy!!We will have our joy and happiness despite their attempts to steal it!! We are Americans and we are strong like that and thats why we will win this battle!! We will get organized and defeat all of our foe!! Lets make this the most Merriest christmas and New year ever!! AMERICA FIRST FREEDOM FOREVER!! MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!! GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!!

Minuteman and our management!!

Visit THE WELL REGULATED AMERICAN MILITIAS!! at: http://militias.ning.com/?xg_source=msg_mes_network

Well, there you have it. http://militias.ning.com and http://5th-col-trc.ning.com are still up and operating, their members aren’t moving to the new site as indicated in the messages, and I guess for what it’s worth their “plan” is still being carried out. That is, if the fear doesn’t consume them first. Spelling, formatting, and grammer of the messages has been altered in no way shape or form. To post these messages I departed from the typical hard evidence screenshots we usually provide but I hope that doesn’t diminish the impact of what’s being said.