Vampire Vixens from Venus

1995
Directed, Produced, and Written by Ted A. Bohus

Vampire Vixens from Venus (not to be confused with Vampire Vixens is the story about seductive alien women who come to Earth to steal brain juices from excited men. After running across it in a random movie rental nine years ago in college, I had been searching for it for years, and thanks to some luck I ran across a copy. Most memorable after all that time was the CGI was literally the worst I had ever seen in a film and may have been one of the first movies with a CGI character. The alien women have their alternate alien modes, which gives us a few instances of alien monsters killing men as well. Topping all of that is the movie’s bumbling cop hero character, who just happens to be British for no real good reason! It all adds up to a bizarre ride for what is essentially a skin flick, but is memorable enough due to the factors that make it so weird.

The film has some crude humor, but for the most part is just silly and doesn’t seem to take itself too seriously, which is a boon for these sci-fi sex movies. Some of the jokes are groan-inducing, while random silly things such as a guy in the town always dressed like Elvis are just fun (especially since the Elvis guy looks like an 80-pound weakling.) The creature effects here appear to have the same general style as other Ted A. Bohus films such as Metamorphosis: The Alien Factor or Nightbeast, but I haven’t seen any of them so I can’t compare further.

Arylai (J.J. North) – Leader of the Vampire Vixens from Venus, helps guide the team on their mission to steal excited male brain chemicals. Blonde actress, but an orange alien, and the only member of the team who seems all there upstairs. Shot by a Space Cop. J.J. North is a B-Movie actress probably best known for Bikini Hotel, Hybrid, or Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold, but hasn’t been in films since 2000. Her real name is Janey Jaye North. No joke here, just saying. Shirley (Theresa Lynn) – The dumb member of the Vampire Vixens team, but kudos to the moviemakers for not making her the stereotypical blonde. Instead, she’s full redhead (though her alien self is lime green.) Shot by a Space Cop. Never having achieved much in the B-movie roles she was cast in (except maybe Orgasm Woman in Howard Stern’s Private Parts), she seems to have disappeared from the entertainment industry around 1999. Omay (Leslie Glass) – The third member of the Vampire Vixens from Venus, the sultry brunette who can’t always get her holoprojector working. Her alien form is a deep red. Shot by a Space Cop. A former Penthouse Pet turned adult actress, Leslie Glass sadly died of cancer in 2000. Detective Oakenshield (Leon Head) – The inexplicably British detective of the local police force, who is not only head detective but head klutz. Solves most of the case due to his British brilliance. Leon Head seems to have never worked again, except in the Chinese film So Close??? Somehow I think they made a mistake, but I’ll check it out next time I watch the film. Shampay (Michelle Bauer) – Another Penthouse Pet, but Michelle Bauer is a B-movie queen. Over 100 films, and still going strong. Here she is the not-so-secret fourth member of the Vampire Vixens from Venus. Eaten by a Space Cop. Jack Meov (John Knox) – The new partner to Detective Oakenshield is in fact an undercover member of the Intergalactic Patrol. But don’t tell anyone, as that is the secret ending of the film. Whoops! Shot by Oakenshield.

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