Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead

aka ゾンビアス Zonbiasu

2011
Written by Noboru Iguchi, Ao Murata, and Jun Tsugita
Story by Tadayoshi Kubo
Directed by Noboru Iguchi

The horrible secret of Bush’s Baked Beans…

While normally a fan of the Japanese ultra-gore films and Noboru Iguchin in general, Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead ends up sucking ass! What is should be a bunch of fun and ridiculous scenes instead gets bogged down by far too much melodrama, and the replacement of poo for the blood splatter scenes. Which isn’t done in a creative way, and instead rely on the fact that there is lots of poo around for the laughs. Poo may be funny in concept, but in practice it gets boring really fast. While other films like Helldriver and Mutant Girls Squad mix their films with a greater theme, Zombie Ass fails to successfully do that, either. There is a vague theme of bullying that rarely comes in to play, and doesn’t parallel with the zombie tapeworm invasion tale going on. The obvious subtext of body image is barely addressed and would have resulted in a much better film. The ending battle with a flying girl versus a monster is nothing we haven’t seen before, either. It took four people to write something so bland!

Funnily enough, this method of transportation has begun to catch on in crowded Tokyo

Zombie Ass‘s few pluses include the design of the tapeworm parasites, they have a brain on them that make them look like the creatures from Fiend Without a Face. I do not know how intentional this homage is, but I hope it was very. I will also score a point for the final monster looking like a sock puppet Jar Jar Binks, because that effect is bad enough it became funny. But besides that, I do not need a heroine who is sad all the time because she didn’t bother to save her bullied sister, nor every other character either being horrible or dating someone horrible. Most of the cast are the type of people who die first or second in a movie, and it was annoying seeing them continue to live beyond their expiration date. I was rooting for the poo to drown them!

Meesa mutant butt zombie, okeyday!

Even the appearance by regulars Asami Sugiura, Demo Tanaka, Yuya Ishikawa, and gratuitous nudity don’t save Zombie Ass from going down the drain. You’re gonna want to flush this load as soon as it’s dropped off at the pool. This film doesn’t have much to go on, and this is no smear campaign. Zombie Ass could be more Charmin, and that’s the bottom line. Despite the brown-nosing, Zombie Ass is only a #2. You might want to log off now, these puns sure are on a roll!

Megumi (Arisa Nakamura) – Our heroine. Her younger sister Ai died due to bullying, and Megumi was unable to act to stop it. So now she studies karate all day to be strong to make up for failing to save her sister. She’s also very introspective. Aya (Mayu Sugano) – Megumi’s good girl friend, and the only non-annoying character in the film. So you know she’s going to die. She’s dating scuzzy guy Take, whose main hobby is cheating on her with other girls. Maki (Asana Mamoru) – Megumi’s controlling and vain friend, whose idea it is to go find some tapeworms so she can look thinner. Has no problem with getting it on with Aya’s boyfriend. Is entitled and spoiled, the perfect host for the Queen Parasite. Asana Mamoru is a Gravure model also known as Asana Kouno. Sachi (???) – Young sick daughter of the mad scientist who is raising the tapeworms and feeding them to her to help keep her leukemia in remission. Is deranged and has a fondness for knives and for killing people. Can communicate with the Nekurogedoro due to the large amount of their chemicals in her body. Sachi’s Dad (Kentaro Shimazu) – Sachi’s mad father who set up this crazed scheme to help her live longer. Cares about nothing but having his daughter live longer, no matter how many lives it costs. Queen Nekurogedoro (A puppet) – The boss of the mutant parasite tapeworms dubbed nekurogedoro, the Queen resides inside of Maki until such time that she pops free to battle Megumi. Can fly, and teams up with Sachi. This puppet is my favorite part of the film. Yep.

Okay, Star Wars Prequel Abomination, I got the cure!