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Godzilla Island Story Arc 19
InBad, Movie Reviews

Godzilla Island – Story Arc 19

June 20, 2008By

Godzilla Island – Story Arc 19


1997

Directed by Shun Mizutani

Welcome to another installment of March of Godzilla Island! This time, things will get a bit trippy, because we got mushrooms on the brain! We’re ‘shroomin’ because the latest kaiju to invade Godzilla Island is a revamped Hedorah rechristened “Neo Hedorah”! This doesn’t mean he’s a master of the Matrix, but instead is all new, with a pink and blue tie-dye job. Neo Hedorah is also a fungus among us, because he makes mushrooms grow. I am not sure what pollution has to do with mushrooms, but I bet it makes perfect sense if you are on mushrooms. Which also makes Japanese cinema make more since. Only someone on mushrooms would think to set Rodan on fire, so he becomes Fire Rodan and defeats the power of evil mushrooms. Ah, the Japanese and their wackery! Anyway, for you newbies, hop on over to Godzilla Island Story Arc 1 to get started, while everyone else (including our visitor from Mexico who checks every day for updates – Hello, sir!) continue on with our tale of mushrooms, smog monsters, and flaming kaiju.

G-Guard Commander (Jiro Dan) – G-Guard Commander runs the Godzilla Guard unit on Godzilla Island. He’s all alone except for sassy robot Lucas, so of course he’s bored out of his skull normally. He seems to have been stationed there because it’s a low-priority assignment they could dump someone who can’t work under pressure, because that’s exactly what he is. Luckily Torema shows up to save his pants. I do not know if he has a name but it may be Oji.
Lucas (Kenichiro Shimamura) – Annoying robot, Godzilla Island-style! Makes sarcastic remarks, and seems to be even mean at times. An annoying Kenny kid in floating metal sphere form. He must be destroyed! Translates from monster language to Japanese.
Misato (Kaori Aso) – The new monster doctor who is dedicated to her craft. Works hard, argues with G-Guard Commander, and flies Medical Jet Jaguar around all the time.
Landes (Kaoru Ukawa) – The new Xilien assigned by Giant Dark Emperor to take over Godzilla Island. She has crazy eyes. Always using a pink fluffy fan. Her ship is another Vabaruda.
Nao (Sho Sawamura) – The latest cast addition to Godzilla Island, and the most mysterious because she came out of nowhere and seems obsessed with food. Who is she? Why does G-Guard Commander seem to know her and get annoyed at her constant talk of food? Will we ever get answers? I sure hope so, because otherwise you have to put up with this explanation for the remainder of the series. At this point I think she is G-Guard Commander’s daughter. I translated Sho Sawamura’s name myself so hopefully it is right.
Camero (???) – Landes’s floating robot, sounds bored when he talks. Just what we needed, another annoying Lucas. Hopefully he can be the entertaining Meowth to the lame Pikachu. Looks suspiciously like MST3K’s Cambot (Last design)!
Narrator – (Yutaka Aoyama) – He’s not a character but the guy who recaps the previous episode in the beginning of the episode. That means thirty seconds of each three minute episode is Narrator recounting events, padding running time beyond levels I want to think about. He’s a typical Japanese male announcer, amazingly excited and epic about even the most mundane things.
Giant Dark Emperor (???) – Giant flaming head who commands the Xiliens and Planet X. Do not look behind the curtain. The great and powerful Giant Emperor commands you, and can hear your sarcastic backtalk! Still, being a flaming head in space has got to be pretty boring.

Different monster feature in each episode, so we’ll keep track of them in each story arc. The complete Godzilla Island Daikaiju List is located here. We’ll also list any new monster match-ups that weren’t in any film but now exist thanks to this series, such as Godzilla fighting Weird Godzilla or something. The R2 Japanese DVD release is unsubtitled, so most of what is going on will be educated guesses thanks to our limited Japanese speaking ability. But here at TarsTarkas.NET we don’t need no stinking subtitles!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Godzilla Island Story Arc 18
InBad, Movie Reviews

Godzilla Island – Story Arc 18

June 16, 2008By

Godzilla Island – Story Arc 18


1997

Directed by Shun Mizutani

Once again we are stepping down the path of Godzilla Island! Yet another story arc, yet another new monster, and yet another use of Fireman Jet Jaguar! Sorry for the excitement, but we love us some Jet Jaguar. This story features Space Godzilla, who returns to cause more havok on Godzilla Island. Or does he???? Newbies, hop on over to Godzilla Island Story Arc 1 to start the journey, everyone else read along for Story Arc 18, the next stop on the March of Godzilla Island!

G-Guard Commander (Jiro Dan) – G-Guard Commander runs the Godzilla Guard unit on Godzilla Island. He’s all alone except for sassy robot Lucas, so of course he’s bored out of his skull normally. He seems to have been stationed there because it’s a low-priority assignment they could dump someone who can’t work under pressure, because that’s exactly what he is. Luckily Torema shows up to save his pants. I do not know if he has a name but it may be Oji.
Lucas (Kenichiro Shimamura) – Annoying robot, Godzilla Island-style! Makes sarcastic remarks, and seems to be even mean at times. An annoying Kenny kid in floating metal sphere form. He must be destroyed! Translates from monster language to Japanese.
Misato (Kaori Aso) – The new monster doctor who is dedicated to her craft. Works hard, argues with G-Guard Commander, and flies Medical Jet Jaguar around all the time.
Landes (Kaoru Ukawa) – The new Xilien assigned by Giant Dark Emperor to take over Godzilla Island. She has crazy eyes. Always using a pink fluffy fan. Her ship is another Vabaruda.
Nao (Sho Sawamura) – The latest cast addition to Godzilla Island, and the most mysterious because she came out of nowhere and seems obsessed with food. Who is she? Why does G-Guard Commander seem to know her and get annoyed at her constant talk of food? Will we ever get answers? I sure hope so, because otherwise you have to put up with this explanation for the remainder of the series. At this point I think she is G-Guard Commander’s daughter. I translated Sho Sawamura’s name myself so hopefully it is right.
Camero (???) – Landes’s floating robot, sounds bored when he talks. Just what we needed, another annoying Lucas. Hopefully he can be the entertaining Meowth to the lame Pikachu. Looks suspiciously like MST3K’s Cambot (Last design)!
Narrator – (Yutaka Aoyama) – He’s not a character but the guy who recaps the previous episode in the beginning of the episode. That means thirty seconds of each three minute episode is Narrator recounting events, padding running time beyond levels I want to think about. He’s a typical Japanese male announcer, amazingly excited and epic about even the most mundane things.
Giant Dark Emperor (???) – Giant flaming head who commands the Xiliens and Planet X. Do not look behind the curtain. The great and powerful Giant Emperor commands you, and can hear your sarcastic backtalk! Still, being a flaming head in space has got to be pretty boring.

Different monster feature in each episode, so we’ll keep track of them in each story arc. The complete Godzilla Island Daikaiju List is located here. We’ll also list any new monster match-ups that weren’t in any film but now exist thanks to this series, such as Godzilla fighting Giant Dark Emperor or something. The R2 Japanese DVD release is unsubtitled, so most of what is going on will be educated guesses thanks to our limited Japanese speaking ability. But here at TarsTarkas.NET we don’t need no stinking subtitles!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

InMovie News

Spy Girl's Mission Cord#005

June 13, 2008By

Spy Girl’s Mission Cord#005 (Shin Spy Girl Daisakusen: Wakusei Kara no Shinryakusha) comes out May 17th, and promises naked Japanese chicks, gold-clad super-powered chicks, and spies. Sounds like our kind of film! Written and directed by Eitoku Kawamura.
Spy Girl
Plot synopsis:

At Manazuru Peninsula strange UFO sightings are accompanied by killings in which the victims’ corpses are completely mummified. When the proprietor of the nearby Institute of Space and Astronautical Science decides to investigate and promptly disappears the Spy Girls (played by gravure idols Sawa Hashimoto, Megumi Kagurazaka, and Saya Hikita) are called in to get to the bottom of things. They eventually discover the cause of all the trouble, an alien seductress with murderous intentions known only as Gold Lady (Akiho Yoshizawa), and a ridiculously slow-paced battle ensues.

A Not Safe For Work trailer is at Nippon Cinema

Akiho Yoshizawa is a porn star, so understandably she’s the one naked in the clips.

Godzilla Island Story Arc 17
InBad, Movie Reviews

Godzilla Island – Story Arc 17

June 13, 2008By

Godzilla Island – Story Arc 17


1997

Directed by Shun Mizutani

Hi, ho, and welcome to another chapter in the continuing saga of Godzilla Island! This time, we are up to Story Arc 17! Yes, were are rounding third and heading home, soon March of Godzilla Island will be complete! New visitors, get started at Godzilla Island Story Arc 1 to begin the journey here. Those of you following along, thrill as we introduce another new monster, give Anguirus some much needed character development, and wrap everything up incredibly neatly. Almost too neatly. Like the song says, “Every Gororin has its thorn!” Or something like that. Anyway, read on…

G-Guard Commander (Jiro Dan) – G-Guard Commander runs the Godzilla Guard unit on Godzilla Island. He’s all alone except for sassy robot Lucas, so of course he’s bored out of his skull normally. He seems to have been stationed there because it’s a low-priority assignment they could dump someone who can’t work under pressure, because that’s exactly what he is. Luckily Torema shows up to save his pants. I do not know if he has a name but it may be Oji.
Lucas (Kenichiro Shimamura) – Annoying robot, Godzilla Island-style! Makes sarcastic remarks, and seems to be even mean at times. An annoying Kenny kid in floating metal sphere form. He must be destroyed! Translates from monster language to Japanese.
Misato (Kaori Aso) – The new monster doctor who is dedicated to her craft. Works hard, argues with G-Guard Commander, and flies Medical Jet Jaguar around all the time.
Landes (Kaoru Ukawa) – The new Xilien assigned by Giant Dark Emperor to take over Godzilla Island. She has crazy eyes. Always using a pink fluffy fan. Her ship is another Vabaruda.
Nao (Sho Sawamura) – The latest cast addition to Godzilla Island, and the most mysterious because she came out of nowhere and seems obsessed with food. Who is she? Why does G-Guard Commander seem to know her and get annoyed at her constant talk of food? Will we ever get answers? I sure hope so, because otherwise you have to put up with this explanation for the remainder of the series. At this point I think she is G-Guard Commander’s daughter. I translated Sho Sawamura’s name myself so hopefully it is right.
Camero (???) – Landes’s floating robot, sounds bored when he talks. Just what we needed, another annoying Lucas. Hopefully he can be the entertaining Meowth to the lame Pikachu. Looks suspiciously like MST3K’s Cambot (Last design)!
Narrator – (Yutaka Aoyama) – He’s not a character but the guy who recaps the previous episode in the beginning of the episode. That means thirty seconds of each three minute episode is Narrator recounting events, padding running time beyond levels I want to think about. He’s a typical Japanese male announcer, amazingly excited and epic about even the most mundane things.
Giant Dark Emperor (???) – Giant flaming head who commands the Xiliens and Planet X. Do not look behind the curtain. The great and powerful Giant Emperor commands you, and can hear your sarcastic backtalk! Still, being a flaming head in space has got to be pretty boring.

Different monster feature in each episode, so we’ll keep track of them in each story arc. The complete Godzilla Island Daikaiju List is located here. We’ll also list any new monster match-ups that weren’t in any film but now exist thanks to this series, such as Dororin fighting Gororin or something. The R2 Japanese DVD release is unsubtitled, so most of what is going on will be educated guesses thanks to our limited Japanese speaking ability. But here at TarsTarkas.NET we don’t need no stinking subtitles!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Honey Bunny wildcats in strip royale
InMovie News

SECRET UNDERCOVER AGENT: WILDCATS IN STRIP ROYALE trailer

June 4, 2008By

Honey Bunny wildcats in strip royale

UPDATE – Read our reviews of Secret Undercover Agent: Honey & Bunny and Secret Undercover Agent: Wildcats in Strip Royale now!

Japan makes another nutty film. This is actually a sequel to Secret Undercover Agent: Honey & Bunny (Himitsu Sennyuu Sousakan: Honey & Bunny) (which seems to cost $50 frakking dollars to import the DVD!!! – so no review of this for a while)

Twitch converted the trailer video, so have at it

Two sections are listed in the trailer:
Mission 01 – The Pure Idol Full Nude Case

Mission 02 – Restroom Blast Case

Not sure if these are two episodes or two intertwining stories. The two girls – Bunny and Honey – don skin-tight catsuits and go fight crime. And they have a chief guy like these films always do. One girl is played by Reon Kadena, which will be her first feature role that isn’t just wandering around in various stages of undress in Idol videos. She’ll do the same here, except talk and it will follow a plot. Yuri Morishita plays the other agent.

Godzilla Island Story Arc 16
InBad, Movie Reviews

Godzilla Island – Story Arc 16

June 2, 2008By

Godzilla Island – Story Arc 16


1997

Directed by Shun Mizutani

One thing about Godzilla Island, it has totally re-written the character of Gigan. Normally just a villain whose look inspires a small fan base, now he is completely rewritten as a Zen Warrior who follows the way of the samurai. He isn’t evil, he just wants to be the best. This characterization is not mentioned before, nor referred to again. But while we are in the middle of Godzilla Island, we are in the middle of Gigan being a samurai. It does mean I won’t be able to look at Gigan the same way again, now I will just see him as wasted potential. And that’s before he shows up with chainsaws for hands or some other lame thing. And I never liked Gigan before. Dang it, Godzilla Island. You have finally made a mark on the Godzilla Universe for me, despite your entire appearance of complete fluff. Those of you who are stumbling across this on search engines, Godzilla Island Story Arc 1 is where this all starts.

For those of you wanting Gigan rematch action, read on as March of Godzilla Island continues!

G-Guard Commander (Jiro Dan) – G-Guard Commander runs the Godzilla Guard unit on Godzilla Island. He’s all alone except for sassy robot Lucas, so of course he’s bored out of his skull normally. He seems to have been stationed there because it’s a low-priority assignment they could dump someone who can’t work under pressure, because that’s exactly what he is. Luckily Torema shows up to save his pants. I do not know if he has a name but it may be Oji.
Lucas (Kenichiro Shimamura) – Annoying robot, Godzilla Island-style! Makes sarcastic remarks, and seems to be even mean at times. An annoying Kenny kid in floating metal sphere form. He must be destroyed! Translates from monster language to Japanese.
Misato (Kaori Aso) – The new monster doctor who is dedicated to her craft. Works hard, argues with G-Guard Commander, and flies Medical Jet Jaguar around all the time.
Landes (Kaoru Ukawa) – The new Xilien assigned by Giant Dark Emperor to take over Godzilla Island. She has crazy eyes. Always using a pink fluffy fan. Her ship is another Vabaruda.
Nao (Sho Sawamura) – The latest cast addition to Godzilla Island, and the most mysterious because she came out of nowhere and seems obsessed with food. Who is she? Why does G-Guard Commander seem to know her and get annoyed at her constant talk of food? Will we ever get answers? I sure hope so, because otherwise you have to put up with this explanation for the remainder of the series. I translated Sho Sawamura’s name myself so hopefully it is right.
Camero (???) – Landes’s floating robot, sounds bored when he talks. Just what we needed, another annoying Lucas. Hopefully he can be the entertaining Meowth to the lame Pikachu. Looks suspiciously like MST3K’s Cambot (Last design)!
Narrator – (Yutaka Aoyama) – He’s not a character but the guy who recaps the previous episode in the beginning of the episode. That means thirty seconds of each three minute episode is Narrator recounting events, padding running time beyond levels I want to think about. He’s a typical Japanese male announcer, amazingly excited and epic about even the most mundane things.
Giant Dark Emperor (???) – Giant flaming head who commands the Xiliens and Planet X. Do not look behind the curtain. The great and powerful Giant Emperor commands you, and can hear your sarcastic backtalk! Still, being a flaming head in space has got to be pretty boring.

Different monster feature in each episode, so we’ll keep track of them in each story arc. The complete Godzilla Island Daikaiju List is located here. We’ll also list any new monster match-ups that weren’t in any film but now exist thanks to this series, such as Dororin fighting Megalon or something. The R2 Japanese DVD release is unsubtitled, so most of what is going on will be educated guesses thanks to our limited Japanese speaking ability. But here at TarsTarkas.NET we don’t need no stinking subtitles!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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