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godzilland
InMovie Reviews, Ugly

Godzilland (Review)

March 30, 2009By


Godzilland

Say kids, what time is it? It’s Godzilland time! YAAAAYYY!!

Wait, what the frak is Godzilland? Godzilland was a morning show for the kiddies that aired in Japan around the time Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2 came out. Besides that, I know nothing about the show except for this sample episode that will get documented here. There is little to no information about this show anywhere (at least in English) so join TarsTarkas.NET as we sail into uncharted territory! March of Godzilla 4 had to have some crazy surprise, now didn’t it?

The best part of Godzilland is the stylized cartoon kaiju

They are all over the opening sequence, we have larva Mothra, that human who we will see is the host, Mechagodzilla, Anguirus, Rodan, Baragon, Gigan, Godzilla, Moguera, Mechagodzilla, Mothra egg, and more Mechagodzilla

All of those Mechagodzillas probably mean that film either is about to or just came out. The inclusion of Moguera might indicate they already are working on SpaceGodzilla, but might not as SpaceGodzilla is MIA in the opening credits.

King Ghidorah, Mothra as a Moth, and Mecha-King Ghidorah show up in this frame

The top Kanji translate to “bouhan” which means “an exciting adventure” And Godzilland sure is!

Here is our host, I think his first name is supposed to be Russell but I might be wrong.

Russell hangs out with four Japanese chicks who are big Godzilla boosters

They are the Godzilla Chicks (a name I made up for them) and in the beginning Russell asks them questions from a pile of cards.

Interspacing animation time!

Holy Godzilla vs. Bambi, Batman!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Godzilla vs SpaceGodzilla
InMovie Reviews, Ugly

Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla (Review)

March 28, 2009By

Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla

aka Gojira VS Supesugojira

1994

Directed by Kensho Yamashita
Written by Kanji Kashiwa and Hiroshi Kashiwabara


Nothing is ever spelled right in a Godzilla film.

Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla was the twenty-first Godzilla film and the second to last Heisei picture. It received mixed to bad criticisms upon its release in Japan and later the US, and now is almost universally scorned. There are some good points, and some nice nods to continuity of the Heisei series. SpaceGodzilla is an old concept from the 1970s (along with Godzilla vs. the Devil, which could have only been born in the 1970s) that got yanked out for modern day after TriStar failed in their quest to make an American Godzilla film. Upon release of the actual American Godzilla film a few years later, one wishes they instead yanked Godzilla vs. the Devil out of the dustbin instead!

The design for SpaceGodzilla stems from an old Nintendo game Super Godzilla, during the game Godzilla could become Super Godzilla, and the sprite design was almost identical for SpaceGodzilla. They, in fact, took the sprites, slightly altered them, and then called is SpaceGodzilla. SpaceGodzilla has never returned to the silver screen, but he returned for several episodes of Godzilla Island, where it was revealed there is a second SpaceGodzilla who is killed in that series. SpaceGodzilla also shows up in video games (fitting due to his design origin): First he appeared in Godzilla: Giant Monster March. He also showed up in Godzilla: Save the Earth, replacing Orga as the final opponent in hard mode. In his biggest role, SpaceGodzilla is the final boss in Godzilla: Unleashed, the game where Godzilla battles against Animal Control for the right to have his pit bulls run free in the streets.

MOGUERA shows up instead of Mechagodzilla because Mechagodzilla was too powerful in the previous film, and having Godzilla and his robot brother fight the space spawn would be too one-sided, even though it could be advertised as Godzilla^3! So they drag out Toho’s other robot creation (no, not Mechakong) MOGUERA! Back when he was Moguera, he was in 1957’s The Mysterians and showed up as an alien agent on a carnage run smashing through cities until he was killed when a bridge fell out from under him (the same fate as James T. Kirk!) A second Moguera then appeared later in the film only to also die by being crushed. Now MOGUERA is built by the UN from the wreckage of Mechagodzilla to fight Godzilla, and is an acronym for Mobile Operation Godzilla Universal Expert Robot Aero-Type. MOGUERA can split into two vehicles, Land Moguera and Star Falcon, because every monster in the Heisei universe has multiple forms, even freaking robots!

Babygodzilla has grown up some and is now Littlegodzilla, who is now Minya-sized and more annoying. I still hate him, but even worse, there was a possibility that he would have gotten his own TV shows spun off of this film. Thankfully, that never came to pass. So instead I will complain about the US DVD release. I can ignore the dubbing, the lack of credits, who cares. The problem is they chop off a good portion of the film in multiple scenes! It is supposed to be anamorphic widescreen, but it is obvious that parts are sourced from a fullscreen print that is chopped off at the top and bottom for widescreen! This is most apparent in the title shot, where most of the word “Gojira” is chopped off. Multiple scenes in the film have characters missing the tops of their heads. I am not going to watch my VHS copy of the film to see if it is filled with chopped off foreheads, I am just going to assume it doesn’t. So “BOOO!” to whoever authored the DVD, you did a terrible job and I hope you die by being crushed by DVDs.


Xillian raiders forced us to wear these horrible clothes! Help us!

One thing the movie never harps on is that is SpaceGodzilla was created from Godzilla cells, then he is Godzilla’s offspring (in a round-about way!) We have a cool subplot about fatherly responsibilities, daddy issues, what if you have a son who is genetically defective, all sorts of things that are completely ignored! The human plot could have benefited greatly from a little less of the psychic crap and a little more family turmoil. Maybe Miki has a friend whose father hates her because she is psychic, and thus she begins to act out and be bad. Then dad learns he must love his daughter and take care of her even if she is different, because otherwise she could become a horrible space monster obsessed with crystals! And then…Dad is crushed by a crystal, but her psychic/telekinetic powers save him! Then the whole thing airs on ABC Family.

Speaking of crystals…crystals? Who thought crystals was a good idea? Every time I watch this I think of those New Age wackos who use crystals to get energy and all that other freaky stuff. That’s a little loopy even for a Godzilla film. What is next, WitchGodzilla (excuse me…WiccanGodzilla?) In conclusion, crystals are dumb.

Miki Saegusa (Megumi Odaka) – Psychic girl Miki Saegusa becomes Telekinetic girl Miki Saegusa due to her new telekinetic abilities. She’s still psychic, and also has magic earrings that keep her in contact with The Cosmos, who warn her of the danger of SpaceGodzilla (something Miki doesn’t bother to let anyone else know about, but they learn soon enough!)
Lt. Koji Shinjo (Jun Hashizume) – Member of G-Force who goes to track down Godzilla for the Project T, then ends up co-piloting MOGUERA. Has sort of a thing with Miki.
Lt. Kiyoshi Sato (Zenkichi Yoneyama) – Shinjo’s friend and care-free dancer, Sato is the yang to Shinjo’s yin and parties it up while the two search for Godzilla. Also becomes one of the MOGUERA operators after their Godzilla/Project T mission.
Major Akira Yuki (Akira Emoto) – Best friend of Goro Gondo from Godzilla vs. Biollante, ever since his friend’s death he has obsessed with hunting Godzilla down. Eventually learns to give up his quest after Godzilla saves the world by killing SpaceGodzilla. And he also finds love. Isn’t that sweet? It is, you chump!
Professor Chinatsu Gondo (Towako Yoshikawa) – The sister to Goro Gondo is a respected scientist and works for the G-Force Science council. She helps design Project T, helps determine the origin of SpaceGodzilla, and convinces Akira Yuki to give up his obsessed ways and learn to love.
Professor Susumu Okubo (Yosuke Saito) – This guy is all about controlling Godzilla and then secretly selling that technology to the Yakuza! Has crazy eyes, crazy chin, and crazy goggles. Yes, he is crazy. Like all mad scientists, he dies. To bad one of those lecturing scientists from Godzilla vs. Biollante weren’t around to bore this guy to death with their speeches.
Minister Takayuki Segawa (Kenji Sahara) – Even politicians get into the Godzilla-fighting fun! Recurring from the past two films, Minister Takayuki Segawa makes his final appearance in the Heisei series. Kenji Sahara has been in scores of kaiju movies and tv shows, including such fare as Ultra Q, Godzilla vs. Mothra, Godzilla’s Revenge, Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah, and Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II.
Commander Takaki Aso (Akira Nakao) – This gruff commander of military forces will head all action against Godzilla for the last three Heisei films. He looks the part perfectly. Akira Nakao returns as Prime Minister Hayato Igarashi in Godzilla X Mechagodzilla and Tokyo SOS.
The Cosmos (Keiko Imamura and Sayaka Osawa) – Those tiny Japanese girls are back, as tiny as ever! Now they are in red Kool-aid-tinted Astral Projection form! They warn Miki of the danger of SpaceGodzilla. They thank Miki when it is all over. That’s about all they do, but at least it is the same girls playing the part.
Godzilla (Kenpachiro Satsuma) – Godzilla was just minding his business one day when this space freak comes to Earth, throws his kid in a crystal cage, blasts Godzilla up, and then goes all “I’m conquering the Earth!” We know Godzilla ain’t gonna stand for that crap, so soon he is kicking butt and blasting names and chewing bubblegum. I messed up the quote but you get the idea.
SpaceGodzilla (Ryo Hariya) – SpaceGodzilla comes from space, hence the name. He is also totally into crystals. He believes in Crystal Lite because they believe in him! SpaceGodzilla can’t go ten minutes without explaining all sorts of crystal nonsense to you, and also mentioning how he wants to conquer the galaxy. I guess the crystals told him to do it.
MOGUERA (Wataru Fukuda) – Mobile Operation Godzilla Universal Expert Robot Aero-Type is now MOGUERA and was built by G-Force from the ruins of Mechagodzilla. The original Mogueras were tools of alien invaders in The Mysterians. Can split into Land Moguera and Star Falcon.
Littlegodzilla (???) – Jerk. Gets stuffed in a crystal cage for being a jerk.
Fairy Mothra (Puppet) – Miki is off tripping balls so she sees tiny Mothras flying around. Miki is insane.

M&M escalates the War on Skittles. Taste this rainbow, bitch!
Godzilla vs Mothra Battra
InBad, Movie Reviews

Godzilla vs. Mothra (Review)

March 15, 2009By

Godzilla vs. Mothra

aka Gojira vs. Mosura aka Godzilla and Mothra: The Battle for Earth

1992

Directed by Takao Okawara
Written by Kazuki Omori


This is the most popular film of the Heisei Godzilla series, in that it did the best at the box office due to the cross appeal of Mothra with girls. It spawned the Mothra Trilogy as an offshoot (though technically not in the same universe) and helped set up sequels down the line in the Heisei series. And it wasn’t released in the US until years later, thanks to fallout from Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah. Thus, I ended up with a full-screen dubbed VHS release around 1998 or so when the movies started to show up at the local Suncoast (now bankrupt.) Isn’t that grand? So as Godzilla has been rebooted, it is time for familiar monsters to start reappearing. Since Ghidorah already did his part, now Mothra will show up to kick some Godzilla butt. Mothra is also joined by Battra, the Dark Mothra. Wow, how original. Will Dark Godzilla then show up? What about Light Ghidorah? What if we had a Godzilla who was black on one side and green on the other? Then he fought another bi-colored Godzilla, except his colors were on the opposite sides! This is a Star Trek joke, for those of you who are 13 and stumbled across this while Googling for “Godzilla boobs” or something.

Someone will find this review by Googling “Godzilla boobs”

Back to the films, we have typical Heisei stuff with the army being useless, that psychic girl Miki Saegusa showing up, and a bunch of new main characters who have to spend the film repairing their marriage. Important stuff, to be sure. This is also the deput of the Heisei Shibojin, or the Cosmos as they get renamed this time around. And they are not real twins, just two Idols that Toho had lying around.

Originally, Mothra was to fight a monster known as Bagan in a film called Mothra Vs. Bagan. Then Godzilla vs. Biollante tanked and Toho realized that no one knew who Bagan was. Instead of having Mothra fight Bagan all across Asia (including battles in Shanghai and Bangkok) Mothra was reworked into the Godzilla series. Mothra then got so popular she headlined her own trilogy of films. Bagan appeared as the final boss in the Super Nintendo video game Super Godzilla, and almost fought Godzilla in Godzilla vs. Bagan, but that film became Godzilla vs. Destoroyah. So Bagan gets the shaft again!

Takuya Fujito (Tetsuya Bessho) – Indiana Jones has been reincarnated as a Japanese tomb raider. That’s what happens when you die in a fridge as a nuke goes off. Takuya Fujito spends so much time stealing ancient artifacts he divorced his wife and hasn’t seen his young daughter. This all changes thanks to the power of Godzilla. Sure, thousands died, but Takuya rekindles his marriage!
Masako Tezuka (Satomi Kobayoshi) – Ex-wife of Takuya Fujito and mother of their young daughter. Reluctantly gets her husband out of jail to guide a mission in Infant Island in search of the giant egg, and being around each other during tragedy helps them get back together.
Miki Saegusa (Megumi Odaka) – Don’t you know who she is by now? Miki Saegusa spends most of the film hunting down tiny girls.
The Cosmos (Keiko Imamura & Sayaka Osawa) – The Shobijin are now The Cosmos, because of…uh…um…stuff. So they are still two tiny girls who speak in unison, have psychic powers, and give warnings to people. They also get kidnapped by evil corporations all the time, because evil corporations are dumb and think two tiny slave girls will lead to an increase in sales of octopus-flavored Pocky. Maybe it would, this is Japan we are talking about. The Cosmos were created by the lifeforce of the Earth
Kenji Andoh (Takehiro Murata) – The Secretary to the President of the Maritomo Company. Sort of a jerk, but becomes less of a jerk when he stands up to his boss. Then he gets fired and exits the movie. Takehiro Murata also stars as Yuji Shinoda in Godzilla 2000, as a newspaper editor in Godzilla vs. Destoroyah, and has cameos in GMK: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack and Godzilla X Mechagodzilla.
Professor Fukazawa (Saburo Shinoda) – Professor of being a suave Japanese Professor, also volcanoes or something. Will return in Godzilla vs. Destoroyah
Marutomo Head Takeshi Tomokane (Makoto Otake) – Evil CEO of an Evil Corporation who is Evil. And also a dork. Look at him, with his dorkiness. Conspires to cut down all trees, enslave the environment, kidnap tiny girls, and fire anyone who disagrees with him. His stockholders love him.
Godzilla (Kenpachiro Satsuma) – Godzilla? Never heard of him.
Mothra Larva (puppet) – Another Mothra pops out of an egg and immediately is involved in a fight. For someone who loves peace so much, Mothra sure gets into fights as a newborn a lot. Mothra has a fight in the high seas, trashes a city searching for The Cosmos, and then morphs into moth form after a cocoon on the Diet.
Mothra Moth (puppet) – Moth form of Mothra hasn’t changed much except to get bigger than the Showa form. And she has beam weapons now. And she can make little tiny Mothras, though we don’t see that in this movie so just forget I mentioned it.
Battra Larva (Hurricane Ryu Hariken) – Battra first appezred 12,000 years ago to trash civilization because they made a weather control device and Earth was mad. Battra and Mothra fought each other during that time. You remember all of this from history class so there is no need to add details. Battra then slept and was supposed to awaken in 1999 to destroy a meteor, but Godzilla woke him up earlier. So now Battra Larva is running around doing Battra Larva things. Is 90 meters long and weighs 20,000 tons
Battra Bat (puppet) – Battra then grows up without the need of a cocoon. First Battra hates Mothra, but eventually the two team up to attack Godzilla. This results in the death of Battra, who hasn’t been back unless you count Godzilla Island episodes. Adult Battra has a length of 73 meters and weights 30,000 tons, with a wingspan of 180 meters and can fly at Mach 3. Battra is the Black Mothra.
Yuzo Tsuchiashi (Akiji Kobayashi) – A grey-haired guy in G-Force who is some of these Heisei films yet he wasn’t featured in a Roll Call because these Heisei films have like 90,000 characters. He went back in time in Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah and helps plan defenses against Godzilla in multiple films. He is a friend of Environmental Planning Board Chief Jyoji Minamino. Actor Akiji Kobayashi is famous for the Kamen Rider X series, and also cameos in Gamera 2: Assault of the Legion.

Godzilla vs King Ghidorah
InBad, Movie Reviews

Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah (Review)

March 10, 2009By

Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah

aka Gojira vs. Kingu Gidora

1991

Directed and written by Kazuki Omori

Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah is the third of the Heisei series of films, and the first to include a classic Toho kaiju in a new form (other classic monsters such as Mothra and Rodan would soon arrive as well.) The big story with Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah is not the plot or the monsters or any of that jazz, but the controversy surrounding the release of the film. Back in 1991, the US was still having rough relations with Japan economically, following a period where Japan seemed to be buying up much of America at wholesale prices. Japan’s edge had started to slip at this point, and they would soon be in the middle of a decade-long recession, but fear of Japan soon controlling the world war rampant in the dimmest of bulbs, who coincidentally just happen to have radio and TV shows. They were upset over the sequence where the precursor to Godzilla, the Godzillasaurus, slaughters a bunch of US troops during World War 2. The fact that men from the future who were white also went back in time to ruin Japan economically in retaliation of Japan’s dominance was also touchy. Accusations of anti-Americanism flew wild, and Japan had to say “What the frak?” No one seemed upset over the thousands of dead Japanese people in the film, the fact a Japanese woman was one of the time travelers, a white guy was a good robot, or the fact that everyone in the future where Japan dominated hated the country and thought of them as corrupt and deserving death for their arrogance.

But talking heads are morons, so who gives a crap what they thought in 1991? All I am concerned about is if that had any decision in the delaying of release of the post-Biollante films in America. Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah did not hit the US market until at least 1996, because I bought the VHS of it while I was in college. A few bootlegs circled at conventions, but outside of the grey market you could not get a glimpse of new Godzilla for five years. Of all of the Heisei era films, I think I enjoy this one the most, largely due to the human characters not being that annoying. It was very much better than its predecessor, Godzilla vs. Biollante, which was terrible (when Godzilla wasn’t fighting the army) and featured a stupid monster that I hate. Biollante’s poor showing at the box office basically forced Toho to tell the director he is bringing back a named monster, something that happened again when GMK: Tokyo SOS director Masaaki Tezuka was forced to put Ghidorah and Mothra in a film neither had any business being in. Toho could easily avoid this by not having lame monsters like Biollante or Megaguirus, but I guess that is just too difficult. Rumors swirl that this was originally going to star King Kong in a rematch against Godzilla, but negotiations went sour.

Enough rambling, let’s get to this production! We will have the cast breakdown, and then jump into the feature

Kenichiro Terasawa (Kosuke Toyohara) – All Godzilla films need a reporter and a scientist, so Kenichiro Terasawa is our reporter. He predicts where Godzilla comes from, IN THE FUTURE, but for now he is just a guy who hasn’t done anything cool yet.
Emmy Kano (Anna Nakagawa) – From the future! She came back in time to destroy her native Japan because Emmy has self-hate issues or something. Regardless, she soon realizes that Japan is ichiban and switches teams to be all 100% pro-Japan. She is also a pseudo-love interest for Kenichiro Terasawa, which is sort of gross because she is his descendent. I guess in the future the inbreds rule the roost.
Miki Saegusa (Megumi Odaka) – Recurring character Miki Saegusa returns for the first time, thus she is a recurring character. Recurring, you see. She is psychic and has big ears. They are related. Also, she will be a recurring character, have I mentioned that?
Professor Mazaki (Katsuhiko Sasaki) – Hey, a physics expert! Our resident scientist helps Terasawa discover the secret of Godzilla’s origin and explain the time travel junk to the military.
M-11 (Robert Scott Field) – A white guy who isn’t evil or related to a director just happens to be a robot! But that allows for cyborg action like the world has never seen. Okay, not quite. M-11 is pretty cool for a second-rate Data so I give him two robotic thumbs up!
Godzilla (Kenpachiro Satsuma) – Godzilla grows in size thanks to modern radiation from 80 meters to 100 meters. Now he can kick even more butt! If Godzilla ever wanders past your house, don’t use any radiation on him, because he’ll keep growing bigger and bigger and have to buy new wardrobes each time, making Godzilla madder and madder.
King Ghidorah (Hurricane Ryu) – King Ghidorah is the agent of the evil Futurians used to try to destroy Japan so they won’t rule the world of the future. Three heads are better than one, unless you have low ceilings.
Mecha-King Ghidorah (Hurricane Ryu) – Mecha-King Ghidorah is the modified version of King Ghidorah that transports from the future to fight Godzilla. Piloted by Emmy and M-11.
Godzillasaurus (Wataru Fukuda) – Godzillasaurus was just chillin’ on his island when these Japanese guys showed up and trenched in. Godzillasaurus suspiciously ignored them until heroic Americans came to kill the Japanese, and Godzillasaurus decided he should get involved in the conflict. His attempts at peacemaker resulted in his body being riddled with bullets, so Godzillasaurus lashed back and struck out in anger. Godzillasaurus hid his rage deep inside until it consumed him and he became rage personified. So learn some stress management, kiddies!
Dorats (puppets) – AHGH!! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE! Sorry. These ugly as sin things turn into King Ghidorah. If the Futurians wanted to destroy Japan maybe they should have dropped several dozen back in time so there would be many King Ghidorahs. But that would require having some brains!
The best special effects money can buy!
Godzilla vs Biollante
InMovie Reviews, Ugly

Godzilla vs. Biollante (Review)

March 2, 2009By

Godzilla vs. Biollante

aka Gojira vs. Biorante

1989

Directed by Kazuki Omori
Written by Shinichiro Kobayashi and Kazuki Omori

The origins of Godzilla vs. Biollante are not what is usual for a Godzilla film (with the possible exception of Godzilla vs. Megalon) In 1986 Toho held a contest to write the next chapter in the Godzilla saga. The eventual winner was a dentist named Shinichiro Kobayashi, who came up with a concept about the mutant plant, dead scientist’s daughter, and the psychic girl. The final product is radically different in the other parts, as Shinichiro Kobayashi’s original script also included a rat/fish hybrid monster named Deutalios. The plot also echos parts of the Ultra Q episode The Mammoth Flower, in that there is a giant flower with wacky tentacles. In an interesting side note, the second place winner of the story competition was an entry titled Godzilla 2 by American Jim Bannon, which is set in the future and had a super computer that creates battle machines to fight Godzilla. Toho eventually to this script, yanked the Godzilla out of it, and turned it into the 1989 movie GUNHED. Toho considered using the GUNHED computer to fight Godzilla in subsequent Heisei films, but as we know that never happened.

Since I am mentioning the term Heisei, I might as well explain what it is for those of you who aren’t Gojiraphiles. There are three main eras of Godzilla films. The original series is the Showa series and runs from the original film in 1954 until 1974’s Terror of Mechagodzilla. The second series is known as the Heisei series after the Emperor of Japan during the bulk of the series. It began with Godzilla 1985 (aka Return of Godzilla) and ran through 1995’s Godzilla vs. Destoroyah. The third series was the Millennium Series, which started with Godzilla 2000 and ran through Godzilla Final War.

Scientist labor to find out if Mister Muffins or Whiskers was the feline who yakked on the couch

Miki Saegusa will become a recurring character throughout the Heisei series. A psychic girl who has a link with Godzilla, she comes in useful when Godzilla resurfaces and causes trouble. Miki starts out as a young girl here (and is really dressed down as a child compared to the later movies where she will be presented more grown up) and matures as the series goes on. An occurring character in so many movies is a rare thing in Godzilla films, and she helped string the Heisei films into a more cohesive group. She is played by Megumi Odaka, who has retired from acting around 2000 and dropped out of public view shortly afterward. Rumors have swirled of illness, but as to what she has been up to it is anyone’s guess.

Biollante represents mankind’s arrogance, which is a theme the film will beat over your head again and again. Yes, we get it, mankind is arrogant and playing God and all that stuff. We know this from the other Godzilla films that say some of the same stuff. So getting an extra layer of shame cake is not a pleasant desert. The next film gets all preachy as well, but about totally different things. As many of the live action sequences are completely forgettable, much of the preaching falls on ears that won’t remember it 90 minutes later. The human story here switches from scientists and ethical dilemmas to terrorist countries and their goons to psychic schoolgirls to untested military officers. It is like four stories in one, plus the monster action. The film debuted dubbed on video and cable in the US, though I have a copy of a Japanese version which will be used in the review. As far as I know there is no real difference.

Kazuhito Kirishima (Kunihiko Mitamura) – Scientist who becomes involved in international intrigue in the wake of Godzilla’s return from volcano slumber. Kazuhito works with Godzilla cells, but ends up partnering with Lt. Goro Gondo in an attempt to stop Saradian terrorists. Kunihiko Mitamura has another encounter with kaiju in Gamera 3.
Asuka Okouchi (Yoshiko Tanaka) – Our female main character who is dating fellow scientist Kazuhito Kirishima. Asuka Okouchi works with at the psychic institute and acts as a pseudo-mother to Miki Saegusa. Her father runs the Okouchi Foundation that does a lot of shady biogenetic work in the name of science. Yoshiko Tanaka returns as Asuka Okouchi in Godzilla vs Mothra.
Major Sho Kuroki (Masanobu Takashima) – Young kid in charge of dealing with the Godzilla counter-attack. I guess Japan was all out of old generals. Manages to do a pretty good job, so good his character doesn’t return in any sequels. Masanobu Takashima will finally get to fight Godzilla again as Major Kita in Godzilla: Final Wars.
Dr. Shiragami (Koji Takahashi) – Scientist whose daughter Erica was killed by terrorists, so he implants her DNA into roses (that start to die) so then he inserts Godzilla DNA into those roses. Good job, idiot! Then he spends the rest of the film calling people arrogant, until he is thankfully shot.
Lieutenant Goro Gondo (Toru Minegishi) – Military Man who was in charge of the site where Godzilla was trapped by the volcano. Manages to not even get blamed in the slightest when terrorists plant giant bombs and blow up the volcano. He is off running around doing wacky Godzilla-fighting stuff, and gets squashed by a building after shooting Godzilla in the mouth with a bacteria-laden rocket.
Miki Saegusa (Megumi Odaka) – A psychic teenage girl who will become a recurring character in the Heisei series. In this installment she is dressed up like a young girl, but the following films with dress her like an actual adult.
SSS9 (Brien Uhl) – Assassin who works for Saradia or something, also called an ALIEN agent (another terrorist group) but also kills terrorists. Thanks to the confusing plot, I was not sure what his name was, so we got the description of “Scrawny Lorenzo Lamas” in the plot synopsis! But according to the credits his name is SSS9. Yeah.
Godzilla (Kenpachiro Satsuma) – You don’t know who Godzilla is? What, do you live in a cave? Well, go back to painting things on a wall, because we are assuming you know who Big G is. As Godzilla vs. Biollante takes place after the last film, Godzilla starts out buried in a volcano.
Biollante rose form (???) – Hey, a giant rose would be totally cool to see Godzilla! And this is some good crack!
Biollante final form (???) – Lizard version of Biollante is less stupid but still pretty darn lame.

Monster X Strikes Back
InMovie Reviews, Ugly

The Monster X Strikes Back: Attack the G8 Summit (Review)

February 20, 2009By

The Monster X Strikes Back: Attack the G8 Summit

aka Girara no gyakushû: Tôya-ko Samitto kikiippatsu aka Guilala’s Counterattack: Lake Toya Summit Crisis

2008
Directed by Minoru Kawasaki

Minoru Kawasaki has been given the nickname of late as the “Ed Wood of Japan.” I think this nickname is misleading, because Minoru Kawasaki’s films aren’t bad, they are just really weird. The kind of weird that plays well to international cult audiences but if you try to describe them to your coworkers they just look at you weird and then avoid talking movies with you in future conversations. He first burst in the international scene with Calamari Wrestler in 2004, about a squid that showed up at wrestling matches. His other films include Executive Koala – about a koala executive who may have murdered his wife, Crab Goalkeeper – about a crab that is a goalkeeper on a soccer team, The World Sinks Except Japan – a parody of The Sinking of Japan film (this was also Kawasaki’s first film filled with political satire), Kabuto-O Beetle – another wrestling film with a giant beetle, The Rug Cop – a parody of 1970’s Japanese cop tv shows involving a living toupee, and the upcoming Neko Râmen Taishô – about a cat who runs a Ramen stand. This resume makes him the perfect person to helm the return film for the giant monster Guilala. (He actually did work with giant monsters on Ultraman Tiga.)

Guilala first appeared in 1967’s The X from Outer Space (aka Uchi Daikaiju Girara, literally Giant Space Monster Guilala.) This was the first daikaiju film from Shochiku. After Guilala was brought to Earth as a spore it grew into a giant monster and rampaged until it was coated with Guilalalium, which returned it into a spore and it was shot back into space. The goofy monster design is probably what the film is best remembered for. There have been rumors for years of Guilala returning, most noticeably the long-standing rumor that he would fight Gappa, another Japanese monster who was a one-shot deal from the Nikkatsu studios. And now Guilala reappears years later in The Monster X Strikes Back: Attack the G8 Summit (as well as a promotional exercise video released around the time of the movie’s release in theaters in 2008 that I have been unable to track down!) After the film was released in Japan, Guilala showed up again in the US in a commercial for Ladders, some job website.

The Monster X Strikes Back: Attack the G8 Summit is not a daikaiju movie in so much as it is political satire set against the backdrop of a monster attack. The political caricatures are independent enough that you don’t need to know who they are to follow along, but if you are versed in foreign affairs than you get a whole new layer of jokes that others will miss.

The G8 Summit is a forum for governments of eight nations of the northern hemisphere. The leaders of the eight member nations each get represented here as exaggerated caricatures, though how exaggerated you are can vary. There is also a few changes from who actually attended the G8 Summitt due to political changes in power that happened after the script was already in production. The most noticeably is that Prime Minister Shinz? Abe hosts the summit here, while in reality the 2008 G8 Summit in Japan was actually hosted by former Prime Minister Yasuo Fukuda, who took over after Abe’s surprise resignation. The Russian president is also called Putin, though the Russian president at the time of the meeting was Dmitri Medvedev (and the actor resembles him more than Putin.) All other minor differences are listed below in the Social Studies 101 section. But first we need to introduce the non-political characters:

Sumire Sumidagawa (Natsuki Kato) – A reporter who stumbles across a village that worships the one thing that can save mankind from the evil Guilala.
Sanpei Toyama (Kazuki Kato) – A cameraman for Sumire who joins her in her discovery of Take-Majin and the prophecy.
Guilala (Hurricane Ryu) – Guilala returns 31 years after being sent back into space to strike again at mankind. The leaders of the free world are defeated by him one by one. But can a small village defeat Guilala?
Take-Majin (??? and Beat Takeshi (voice)) – Called The Legendary Savior. Fights Guilala after being awakened by the prayers of the Lake Toya villagers. 50 meters tall weighing 10,000 tons. Take-Majin is a takeoff of the Daimajin monster.


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