2016 Story by Marie Bertonneau, Anna Rasmussen, and Micho Rutare
Screenplay by Marie Bertonneau
Directed by Micho Rutare
The Internet once again has come to kill us all, but shockingly this isn’t a Lifetime Network film, nope! This joint from The Asylum debuted on SyFy of all places! There ain’t any spaceships or crazy monsters, heck #FollowFriday (the hashtag is part of the name) could happen in the real world. And judging from how incompetent Twitter is in getting rid of problem accounts (let’s just be honest, Twitter love nazi accounts), Twitter would be powerless to stop a killer form using their service were it to happen in real life. #FollowFriday actually uses Twitter, complete with real Twitter accounts (all of which are now suspended, lol, I guess Twitter can ban movie accounts but not nazis) and screenshots of the twitter accounts running amok. The film takes place in a pocket universe where Twitter is the dominant social media tool to the point where all others are ignored or barely mentioned. There is a good sense of the chaos that the non-stop stream of social media opinions brings, as a constant barrage of voiceovers proclaiming their opinion on events as they happen or society in general (and even making lame jokes) plays in the background as characters sit around, type away on their devices, or stare in horror at the Twitter feed. As an active Twitter user, staring in horror at Twitter is a pretty common event.
Many of the characters are introduced by voiceovers of their tweets, which immediately gives you a fix on which archetype their characters are. There is a nerdy Young Republican, the young politician, the computer nerd, the health nut, the alpha male, and the outraged feminist. No need to set them up, we just know what they are and let them interact. And slowly get bumped off, as a killer is a-stalking them, each week whichever one is the biggest on trending, they get #dead.
If you want a whole pack of shark movies to tide you over for the summer, then SyFy has got you covered with their Sharknado Week! Not only are we getting a fourth Sharknado film, but there are tons of other shark films being aired, including a few other premieres. Everything is detailed below, including a copy/paste of their press release. And not everything has a trailer yet, so BOOOO!!! First the new films:
Atomic Shark premieres July 24, with further airings July 27 & July 31.
What’s worse than a hungry shark? An atomic hungry shark, of course.
Atomic Shark is directed by Griff Furst (Ghost Shark) and written by Griff Furst and Jack Snyder (Fatal Exam) It stars Rachele Brooke Smith, Jeff Fahey, David Faustino, Bobby Campo, and Isaiah LaBorde
I’ve never seen a bad Griff Furst movie, they’ve all been fun and amazing, so Atomic Shark will be the must-watch film of the group! The poster suggests that there is a big bomb strapped to the shark, so that should be awesome!
Dam Sharks! premieres July 25 and is reaired on July 31.
Sharks in a dam. The worst.
There isn’t a lot of information about Dam Sharks! yet, but it’s directed by James Kondelik, Jon Kondelik the brothers who directed Airplane vs. Volcano and Age of Tomorrow, and stars Matt Mercer, Kabby Borders, Robert Craighead, Ashton Bingham, and Eric Paul Erickson. It’s from Asylum, so it should be good fun.
Ice Sharks premieres July 26 with further airings July 29 & July 31.
A group of ravenous sharks break into a military base, forcing all the scientists to escape before they are eaten alive.
It’s directed and written by Emile Edwin Smith, who is an ice expert, having directed Asylum’s Age of Ice! Kaiwi Lyman and Edward DeRuiter star. Don’t you hate it when sharks break into buildings, especially sharks that swim through ice? I sure do…
Planet of the Sharks premieres July 27 and is reaired on July 31.
In the near future, glacial melting has covered 98% of earth’s landmass. Sharks have flourished and now dominate the planet, operating as one massive school led by a mutated alpha shark.
Sadly we don’t get a world where man evolved into sharks, but maybe someone will still damn everyone all to hell (or damn then to Dam Sharks!) It’s yet another Asylum flick, this time directed by veteran Mark Atkins (a bunch of Asylum films including Princess of Mars!) He wrote it along with Marc Gottlieb (Cousin Howard), and Alex Anlos, Brandon Auret, Stephanie Beran, Angie Teodora Dick, and Lindsay Sullivan star.
Ozark Sharks premieres on July 28 and is reaired on July 31.
A picturesque family vacation to the Ozarks goes sideways when a group of bull sharks show up to take a bite out of the town’s big fireworks festival.
Shark Island director Misty Talley returns with more shark bait, along with writers Marcy Holland (Caught) and Greg Mitchell (SnakeHead Swamp). Good writing crew so hopefully something fun is done with the film besides just being a bunch of redneck jokes. Ozark Sharks stars Laura Cayouette, Dave Davis, Allisyn Ashley Arm, Michael Papajohn, Ashton Leigh, Thomas Francis Murphy, and Terence Rosemore.
Sharknado: The 4th Awakens premieres July 31. Yes, they made a fourth one. Yes, I didn’t bother with the third one, and might not bother with this one, but who knows? At least they didn’t get into a gigantic fight with a union or pack the film with a bunch of right wing nuts this time. But still…
And the rest!
3-Headed Shark Attack (July 25 at 7p/6c; July 28 at 5p/4c; July 30 at 11a/10c)
Cruise passengers fight to survive when a hungry, three-headed great white shark tries to feed on them.
Atomic Shark (July 24 at 9p/8c; July 27 at 7p/6c; July 31 at 12p/11c)
What’s worse than a hungry shark? An atomic hungry shark, of course.
Bait (July 27 at 1a/12c; July 29 at 5p/4c)
A powerful tsunami sends ocean waters rushing into an underground supermarket, prompting the terrified shoppers to fight for their lives as vicious man-eating sharks glide down the aisles in search of a fresh meal.
Beast of the Bering Sea (July 26 at 7a/6c)
Two siblings hunting for gold get more than they bargained for when they strike an underwater cave that’s occupied by sea vampires.
Bermuda Tentacles (July 27 at 11a/10c)
An elite Navy rescue team is dispatched to the Bermuda Triangle after Air Force One goes down with the president on board. Unfortunately, efforts to save the commander in chief end up putting the entire country at risk from a vicious sea monster.
Beyond Loch Ness (July 27 at 9a/8c)
A cryptozoologist in search of the infamous Loch Ness monster discovers that the malevolent, 40-foot-long reptile from Scotland has traveled to Lake Superior via an elaborate series of subterranean tunnels, and that she’s brought her hungry offspring along for a feeding frenzy.
Chupacabra: Dark Seas (July 29 at 3:30a/2:30c)
A ship’s crew takes on a scientist’s latest discovery: a mythic Caribbean creature. Featuring John Rhys-Davies, Dylan Neal and Giancarlo Esposito.
Croc (July 26 at 9a/8c)
A crocodile hunter (Michael Madsen) tracks a reptile menace at a beach resort.
Dam Sharks! (July 25 at 9p/8c; July 31 at 10a/9c)
Sharks in a dam. The worst.
Dark Tide (July 24 at 11p/10c; July 25 at 2:30p/1:30c; July 28 at 11p/10c)
A renowned shark expert attempts to recover from a tragic diving mishap by taking a wealthy businessman swimming with the deep-sea predators, only to get stranded in a dangerous feeding ground known as Shark Alley.
Dinocroc vs. Supergator (July 24 at 9a/8c; July 28 at 3a/2c and 11a/10c)
Enormous reptiles escape from a research facility on a tropical island and feast on unwary tourists, culminating in a clash between a prehistoric crocodile and a monstrous alligator.
Dinoshark (July 24 at 1p/12c; July 26 at 11a/10c)
A dinosaur-shark hybrid terrorizes a resort in Mexico and it’s up to a young fishing-boat captain to stop it.
Eye of the Beast (July 27 at 7a/6c)
A giant squid terrorizes a small fishing town after overfishing causes a shortage of food. Featuring James Van Der Beek.
Ghost Shark (July 27 at 5p/4c; July 29 at 1:30a/12:30c)
Two locals work to uncover the truth about their town’s dark past in hopes of putting a stop to a ghost shark that can hunt on land and in the sea.
Ice Sharks (July 26 at 9p/8c; July 29 at 3p/2c; July 31 at 3a/2c)
A group of ravenous sharks break into a military base, forcing all the sceintists to escape before they are eaten alive.
Jersey Shore Shark Attack (July 25 at 3:30a/2:30c)
Sharks menace the Jersey shore on July 4th weekend and it’s up to the locals to stop them.
Lake Placid 3 (July 25 at 11p/10c; July 26 at 3p/2c)
A game warden (Colin Ferguson) moves into his aunt’s lakeside cabin with his wife and young son, and the little boy feeds the resident baby crocodiles until they grow up into monstrous predators that become a menace to the family.
Lake Placid: The Final Chapter (July 25 at 1a/12c; July 26 at 5p/4c)
A new sheriff has a big problem on her hands when a poacher unleashes the wrath of giant crocodiles in this fourth installment in the franchise.
Malibu Shark Attack (July 27 at 11p/10c; July 29 at 1p/12c)
A tsunami brings goblin sharks to Malibu after a massive wave cuts lifeguards and construction workers off from dry land.
Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (July 28 at 1a/12c; July 28 at 1p/12c)
Two colossal prehistoric monsters terrorize the California coast while battling for supremacy of the sea. Featuring Lorenzo Lamas and Deborah Gibson.
Mega Shark vs. Kolossus (July 25 at 5p/4c; July 26 at 11p/10c)
Russia’s search for a new energy source accidentally reawakens a giant robot doomsday device from the Cold War. But that isn’t the only threat to humanity when a new Mega Shark swims onto the scene.
Ozark Sharks (July 28 at 9p/8c; July 31 at 8a/7c)
A picturesque family vacation to the Ozarks goes sideways when a group of bull sharks show up to take a bite out of the town’s big fireworks festival.
Piranhaconda (July 24 at 11a/10c; July 25 at 8:30a/7:30c)
A piranha-anaconda hybrid terrorizes a movie crew after a scientist steals an egg from the creature’s nest.
Planet of the Sharks (July 27 at 9p/8c; July 31 at 1a/12c)
In the near future, glacial melting has covered 98% of earth’s landmass. Sharks have flourished and now dominate the planet, operating as one massive school led by a mutated alpha shark.
Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators (July 28 at 7a/6c)
A Louisiana family live to regret dumping a bad batch of moonshine into a nearby swamp when it transforms the bayou’s alligators into dangerous mutants on a killing spree.
Robocroc (July 25 at 12:30p/11:30c; July 28 at 9a/8c)
A crocodile is transformed into a killing machine that’s let loose in a water park.
Roboshark (July 28 at 3p/2c)
All hell breaks loose when a great white shark sinks its teeth into an alien space probe in the Pacific, creating a Roboshark that invades Seattle and devours everything in its way.
Sea Beast (July 27 at 1p/12c)
Mythic creatures from the deep sea emerge to feed on the residents of a sleepy bay village. Featuring Corin Nemec.
Shark Assault (July 25 at 1:30a/12:30c; July 25 at 10:30a/9:30c)
At the whim of a wealthy madman, a group of strangers is forced to confront a gauntlet of deadly sharks on his island compound.
Shark Attack (July 29 at 9a/8c; July 30 at 1a/12c)
A marine biologist (Casper Van Dien) investigates the death of a colleague who was attacked by a hammerhead shark off the coast of Africa, where the scientist discovers some unsettling news about the creatures’ new eating habits. Featuring Ernie Hudson, Jenny McShane, Bentley Mitchum.
Shark Attack 2 (July 29 at 11a/10c; July 30 at 3a/2c)
A shark expert, a hunter and a scuba diver join forces to kill mutant great white sharks that are terrorizing a shoreline metropolis. Featuring Thorsten Kaye, Nikita Ager.
Shark Killer (July 27 at 3p/2c; July 29 at 7a/6c)
A deep-sea diver accepts a shark-hunting assignment from his criminal brother, who wants to recover a missing diamond.
Sharknado (July 30 at 7p/6c; July 31 at 2p/1c)
A freak storm brings hundreds of vicious, man-eating sharks ashore in Los Angeles and a group of friends struggle to steer clear of their violent and destructive path.
Sharknado 2: The Second One (July 30 at 9p/8c; July 31 at 4p/3c)
In this sequel, Fin Shepard and April Wexler are the only hope for saving the population and iconic landmarks of New York City when a freak weather storm unleashes a whirlwind of vicious, man-eating sharks on the Big Apple.
Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! (July 31 at 6p/5c)
The entire East Coast comes under threat when shark-infused storms wreak havoc on Washington, D.C., and Orlando.
Shark Night (July 29 at 7p/6c; July 30 at 9a/8c)
Vacationing college student Sara (Sara Paxton) and her friends fight for their lives against man-eating sharks during a trip to her family’s island cabin.
Sharktopus (July 24 at 3p/2c; July 30 at 1p/12c)
A scientist (Eric Roberts) working for the military develops a monstrous shark-octopus hybrid, which goes on a killing spree on the resort beaches of Mexico after the mechanism that controls the beast is accidentally destroyed.
Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda (July 24 at 5p/4c; July 30 at 3p/2c)
A shark-octopus hybrid confronts a beast that’s half pterodactyl, half barracuda.
Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf (July 24 at 7p/6c; July 30 at 5p/4c)
The aquatic villain faces off against another hybrid beast created by a mad scientist.
Snakehead Swamp (July 26 at 1p/12c)
Genetically altered snakehead fish bring terror to the swamps of Louisiana.
Snakehead Terror (July 27 at 3a/2c)
Mutant, amphibious snakehead fish feast on humans as they close in on a Maryland village where the only obstacle is the local sheriff (Bruce Boxleitner). Featuring Carol Alt, William B. Davis and Ryan McDonell.
Supergator (July 25 at 6:30a/5:30c)
Brad Johnson and Kelly McGillis star in this big-reptile flick about a team of geologists menaced by a monstrous alligator in Hawaii.
Swamp Shark (July 28 at 7p/6c)
An animal-smuggling deal gone bad puts a man-eating shark into a swampy backwoods river, where it stalks swimmers and boaters and imperils the town’s annual Gator Fest. Featuring Kristy Swanson and D.B. Sweeney.
Zombie Shark (July 26 at 7p/6c; July 30 at 11p/10c)
A perfect getaway weekend turns into a nightmare for four friends who find themselves fighting for their lives against an experimental shark.
This girl ain’t lost, I found her with this treasure map, X marked the spot!
Lifetime teams up with The Asylum to bring us another original move, Manson’s Lost Girls! It’s a tale of the Manson Family from the viewpoint of the various women he seduced and convinced to join his murderous cult. It looks like a winner in the making, a film Lifetime Movies and True Crime fans can’t afford to miss!
Manson’s Lost Girls stars MacKenzie Mauzy(Into the Woods), Eden Brolin(Ruby Sparks), Greer Grammer(An Evergreen Christmas), Christian Madsen(Divergent), Grace Victoria Cox(Under the Dome), and Jeff Ward(Bad TV Pitches: Orphan Flippers) as Charles Manson.
Leslie Libman (Path to Paradise: The Untold Story of the World Trade Center Bombing) directs this tv event. The best story (and the only story!) of Leslie Libman comes from daisyluvwonder on the IMDB boards:
i was on a set once when her prosthetic leg fell off and she just kept right on working — this woman is a trooper!
I don’t even know what to say in response to that! Manson’s Lost Girls is written by Matthew Tabak (Obsessed) and Stephen Kronish (The Secret Life of Marilyn Monroe).
The psychedelic summer of 1969 comes to life in the Lifetime Original Movie, “Manson’s Lost Girls,” featuring the next generation of Hollywood stars MacKenzie Mauzy, (“Into the Woods”), Eden Brolin (“I Dream Too Much”), Greer Grammer (“Awkward”) and Christian Madsen (“Divergent”). Premiering Saturday, February 6 at 8pm ET/PT, the film paints a new picture of Charles Manson’s (Jeff Ward, “The Mentalist”) world, as told through the stories of Linda Kasabian (Mauzy) and the other women who fell under his demonic spell to create one of the most famous cults of all time. Brolin stars as Susan Atkins, Grammer is Leslie Van Houten, Madsen portrays Tex Watson, Grace Victoria Cox (“Under the Dome”) is Lynnette “Squeaky” Fromme, Isabel Shill (“Orange is the New Black”) stars as Patricia Krenwinkel and Garrett Coffey (“Battle for Skyark”) is Bobby Beausoleil.
“Manson’s Lost Girls” follows Linda as she first arrives at the seemingly idyllic Spahn Ranch hippie commune where she is embraced with open arms. Seduced by the group’s free-love lifestyle, Linda revels in the sisterhood and acceptance. Taken with Manson, he soon draws her into criminal activities, including late-night “creepy crawls” to steal from lavish homes. Linda reluctantly becomes an accomplice in Manson’s “Helter Skelter,” a drug-fueled murder spree that included the brutal death of actress Sharon Tate. She ultimately breaks away and turns herself in as a witness for the prosecution and helps to convict Manson.
With original 1960’s music from iconic bands such as Donovan, The Turtles and CCR, the film captures the bohemian clothing, hairstyles and makeup of the time.
“Manson’s Lost Girls” is produced by Asylum Entertainment with Emmy® Award-winning Steven Michaels and Jonathan Koch (“The Secret Life of Marilyn Monroe”) and Nancy Bennett (“The Red Tent”) serving as executive producers. Leslie Libman (“NCIS”) directed from a script written by Matthew Tabak (“Plain Truth”) and Stephen Kronish (“The Secret Life of Marilyn Monroe”).
Manson’s Lost Girls premieres Saturday, February 6th on Lifetime!
2014 Written by Scotty Mullen
Directed by Glenn R. Miller
This happened all the time when I was a meter maid!
Zombies! Frat parties! Nude chicks! Drugs! Crass jokes! The Coed and the Zombie Stoner is a modern mish-mashterpiece of crazy that won’t settle for just being ridonkulous. Much as Dark Helmet sends Spaceball 1 into ludicrous speed, The Coed and the Zombie Stoner makes its own pattern of plaid, and thankfully is wearing its helmet!
The Coed and the Zombie Stoner begins with nude chicks and a zombie attack, and then backs up to the Warm Bodies-esque love tale, by way of the Mary Jane. Marijuana is the cause of and solution to the zombie menace, as the weed is partially responsible for the experiment gone awry that causes the zombies, as well as keeping the zombies calm so they don’t attack people.
Special breakout performances from Jamie Noel as Bambi, the sorority bitch from hell! In a most excellent scene she drops her own version of the cunt-punch email that made the internet rounds, and you believe in your heart of hearts that her character would gleefully threaten such a thing.
This is a disaster! Ziggy deserves better than page 3!
Lena Young and Dora Pereli as Bibi and Bunny, goofy sorority besties who can’t seem to keep their clothes on. I’ve been around enough to know you have to be very good to act that goofy and ditzy and energetic without it coming off a totally fake, and they nail their performances. Even Chrissy joins in on their sorority chants in the middle of crisis, it’s how infectiously charismatic these two are. Those suds in the opening scene? Spontaneously appeared because of how bubbly these two are!
Zombie purists will get annoyed that the Romero rules aren’t being enforced, but zombie purists are annoying, so good. The rules seem more like the Return of the Living Dead rules, except pot mellows the zombies out. The zombies retain much of their minds, and even stage elaborate scenarios and entertaining games as they devour their prey
The Coed and the Zombie Stoner is like the 1980s college flicks and zombie flicks crashed into each other, then were bathed in 2010s sensibilities. There are references all over the place to other films, and at times it seems we jump right into a scene from one of them. The Coed and the Zombie Stoner is a clearinghouse for toilet humor. Not just the actual humor involving toilets and bodily functions, but within the universe. The frats and sororities have provocative names like KY House, DIK Frat, and even ZBE Frat, the fraternity that foreshadows. Christine Nguyen cameos as a librarian, and Mindy Robinson has a bit part as Nurse Escandalo. So there is just so much fun going on, let the party begin!
This is a weird reboot of Captain N: The Game Master
Chrissy Chrysanthemum (Catherine Annette) – Brilliant college student, sorority sister, and researcher who talks and talks and talks and talks. Her constant talking leaves her without a boyfriend and in danger of losing her scholarship, until she meets a nice zombie guy who listens.
Rigo Fabian (Grant O’Connell) – Secret zombie who lives in one of the labs, he’s from back in the class of ’85, yet only Dr. Avon knows he’s still around until he starts dating Chrissy. Is a nice guy zombie except for his zombie temper. was a brilliant researcher before the accident.
Bambi (Jamie Noel) – The Queen Bee of Sorority Crazy, Bambi is a force of nature that destroys all in her path. Anyone who dares put things out of place gets demolished and humiliated, and her usual target is Chrissy.
Bibi (Lena Young) – Super energetic sorority sister who spends most of the film forgetting to wear clothes and hanging out with her BFF, Bunny.
Bunny (Dora Pereli) – Super energetic sorority sister who spends most of the film forgetting to wear clothes and hanging out with her BFF, Bibi.
Spike (Andrew Clements) – Chrissy’s brother and local DJ. Has an unfortunate encounter with a zombie’s hand.
P.J. (Ben Whalen) – Chrissy’s ex-boyfriend who dumps her right at the beginning of the film for Bambi, and then spends the whole time acting like the gigantic douche he is.
Dr. Pier Avon (Louis J. Dezsoran) – Chrissy’s boss at the university and the only person who knew about Rigo all these years before he is introduced to the rest of the school.
Brad (Aaron Caleb) – Nerdish frat guy who can’t catch a break, or a girl, though has caught a cold sore. Gets in touch with his feminine side.
Romero the cat (???) – A very naughty cat who is also a pot zombie as well as a namecheck reference to zombie movies.
The car was already like this, the montage was them just changing outfits!
Who needs a photo having to do with the movie when you have one from a mints commercial?
Asylum continues their 2014 global DTV domination game with another disaster flick with “Age of” in the title – Age of Ice! Yes, this ice, ice, baby has gone to the Middle East, and soon the whole region is in freezing danger. That’s called irony, since it’s currently a hot desert. But, hey, Egyptian stuff looks cool getting destroyed by ice and snow, so that’s what’s going to happen. There are far dumber Hollywood films now playing at your local movie theater!
Massive earthquakes open the Arabian tectonic plate, resulting in unstable weather and freezing temperatures that will be unsurvivable by nightfall. Attempting to reach safety, a vacationing family in Egypt must battle the rapidly cooling temperatures that usher in a new Ice Age, covering the Sphinx, Pyramids, and Sahara Desert with mountains of snow.
Age of Ice is written and directed by Emile Edwin Smith, who has done effects work on a TON of movies and tv as well as directing Asylum’s Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark! Age of Ice stars Jules Hartley, Barton Bund, and Bailey Spry. Look for it in December 2014!
aka Prison Break 2014 Written by Edward DeRuiter
Directed by Christopher Douglas Olen Ray
There is talk in the film world of an all-female Expendables movie with a bunch of names being tossed about and a plot that sounds dumb as crap. While Hollywood talks, Asylum does, and gives us Mercenaries, and all-female Expendables featuring tough ladies doing some dirty work. It’s more of a B-movie femme all star roster, but it’s still filled with cool chicks who go on to kick a lot of butt. Following more Escape From New York meets The Dirty Dozen, Mercenaries sees for female convicts recruited to save the daughter of the president from a female potential dictator. Along the way we have plenty of shooting, stabbing, kicking, punching, breaking, betraying, and quipping, making Mercenaries a must-see event for action fans!
The President’s daughter Elise Prescott is ambushed in Kazakhstan, and not by Borat. Military leader Ulrika demands the US invade her country and install her as leader, or else! The US keeps this under wraps for now, and CIA agent Mona Kendall figures the best way to sneak in is to send women because Ulrika hates all men (except her right-hand man Grigori Babishkov) and thinks women are weak. As there are no experienced women to infiltrate the prison, they need to “think inside the box” and thus grab some female prisoners at whom they can wave pardons.
Cassandra Clay (Zoë Bell) – A woman who beats up women in prison who demand tribute, and likes pizza. Former Delta Force, Ranger, and had a command. Lost half of her squad and attacked her CO because he was sending them into areas without proper support or information.
Kat Morgan (Kristanna Loken) – A sniper who shot up her boyfriend’s truck with him and his new girlfriend in it. She also throws a penny into the eye of a rapist guard.
Mei Lin Fong (Nicole Bilderback) – A techno-anarchist and exploding toilets enthusiast. She blew up a Wall Street bank (which means she’s awesome), and is also a pilot.
Raven (Vivica A. Fox) – Raven has no real name given, but she has a history with Mona. Raven was CIA, but became killer for hire and killed a CIA agent, thus the jail term.
