Zone Fighter 24 針吹き恐獣ニードラーを倒せ

Zone Fighter Episode 24 – Harifuki Kyoujuu Niidoraa-wo Taose

Zone Fighter Episode 24 – Harifuki Kyoujuu Niidoraa-wo Taose

aka 針吹き恐獣ニードラーを倒せ aka Smash the Pin-Spitting Needlar! aka Defeat the Needle Shooting Terror-Beast Needlar
Zone Fighter 24 針吹き恐獣ニードラーを倒せ
1973
Written by Yuji Amamiya
Directed by Ishiro Honda

March of Godzilla 2014

Let’s see who you really are…OH MY GOD THE BLOOD ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!

Zone Fighter is back again with a very spooky episode that finally has the Garoga doing very creepy things that aren’t weird. It’s also got Needlar in the title, despite Needlar barely being in the film. But kids aren’t going to care about the creepy atmospheric story, they just want to seem Zone Fighter punch some monsters in the face and then murder them. And, yes, Zone does murder poor Needlar, who had it coming, because he’s named Needlar and barely shoots needles. Way to abandon your gimmick, bro!

Zone Fighter 24 針吹き恐獣ニードラーを倒せ

Battle for the Domed City of Mars!


What the meat of this episode is, is the village where everyone has been hypnotized by the Garoga into being their slaves, causing them to march in formation during rainy nights and ignore their surroundings. The Garoga treat the workers as disposable, because there are plenty more slave humans around. The end game seems to involve Garoga turning the humans into cyborgs, the exact reasons for which is lost in the unsubtitled Japanese, but probably for ease of them being slaves. So in some sense, the Garoga are the original Borg. The Gaborga.

Another interesting thing happens, which is the Mighty Liner drives off a cliff and explodes. Never fear, the Zone Family somehow were thrown clear of the vehicle despite the doors being closed and the windows unbroken, and are thus lightly injured. But the Mighty Liner is a total loss. Which means it’s back by the next episode, with no explanation given. Zone Family mechanics are just that good. Or maybe they have a whole crate of Mighty Liners. Whatever the true answer, it’s probably dumb.

Zone Fighter 24 針吹き恐獣ニードラーを倒せ

Either I took too much LSD again, or Zone Fighter has gone to plaid!


I’ll take back my comments on Ishiro Honda slumming in the last episode, because here he isn’t slumming. I would say he made a conscious decision which episode would be better and then focused all his energies there. In particular, this episode features large scale scenes shot at night with rain effects, and spooky lighting such as green-tinted bulbs illuminating people. It’s impressively done, and keeps the mood spooky enough that you don’t miss the monster action, instead wondering just what the heck is going on. The only problem is it eats up much of the monster time, and Needlar sort of sucks.
Zone Fighter 24 針吹き恐獣ニードラーを倒せ

Needlar has tossed his Orange Julius at Zone Fighter. This violent act goes too far!


But…Needlar’s death scene is BLOODY AWESOME! Because it’s bloody, and awesome. Let’s just say Needlar loses his head over his death sequences. And sprays hoses full of blood all over while doing so. Maybe he should be called Hosar. This graphic death is weird for what is essentially a childrens’ show, and sort of counter to the spooky atmosphere. The whole giant monster sequence escapes the boundaries of the episode’s tone, so that’s not too surprising. Overall, this becomes a solid episode for Zone Fighter. If you need a refresher on Zone Fighter, drop by the Zone Fighter Splash Page.
Zone Fighter 24 針吹き恐獣ニードラーを倒せ

Children, we may play enemies on television, but I assure you we are both good friends in real life. Not good enough to get an invite to Needlar’s wedding, but close enough.

Zone Fighter 23 大恐獣バクゴンの秘密

Zone Fighter Episode 23 – Dai Kyoujuu Bakugon-no Himitsu

Zone Fighter Episode 23 – Dai Kyoujuu Bakugon-no Himitsu

aka 大恐獣バクゴンの秘密 aka Secret of Bakugon: The Giant Terror-Beast! aka Secret of the Great Terror-Beast Bakugon
Zone Fighter 23 大恐獣バクゴンの秘密
1973
Written by Masaru Takesue
Directed by Ishiro Honda

March of Godzilla 2014

Come and get it, you Bouillabaseball playing mofo!

The Secret Garoga Plot in Secret of Bakugon: The Giant Terror-Beast! is so stupid that it makes the craziest Cobra plots from GI Joe look sane and rational. The Garoga plot to make several children believe that a junk yard is really a secret garden, thus they’ll get some ruined clothes and light scrapes. This means they’ll all have to get tetanus shots, thus depleting the worldwide supply, destroying humanity! The long-term plan might be some ridiculous plot to mind control the entire population of the planet, but no one really seems focused on that. They even have smaller tests before the elaborate children delusion, which rules out that this was just a test phase. This is the REAL DEAL plan!

Zone Fighter 23 大恐獣バクゴンの秘密

Trumpy! You can do magic things!


The plot is so ridiculously lame that it sinks the entire episode, and even a cool monster design like Bakugon cannot save it. Bakugon is like an ALF/anteater hybrid that shoots flames out of his nose and has a metal backpack full of fuel for said flames. It is cool to see a monster that’s obviously a mammal, far too many are variations of dinosaurs or other lizards, or even more human monsters. Bakugon has fur, we need more fuzzy kaiju. Plus he’d make a great rug in front of the fireplace!

There is a great philosophical crisis because the main evil Garoga splits himself from disguised as one human female to disguised as a human female and a small boy. Essentially being in two places at once and being two people. The question is if the Garoga became two Garoga, or if it was able to control both bodies simultaneously without adverse effects and keeping them doing separate projects but still under the same mind. Becuase if the Garoga became two Garoga, this is some serious business. It could be real, because we’ve seen Garoga merge and form terror-beasts before. So why couldn’t a Garoga split into two by mitosis? Or are the Garoga all under one mind? Though that doesn’t seem to jive with how the Garoga act in every other episode, so it’s highly unlikely. What we get is another great Garoga mystery that will never be solved.

Zone Fighter 23 大恐獣バクゴンの秘密

I know every rose has its thorn, but this is ridiculous!


A mysterious lady in all black (so obviously Garoga it hurts) is causing delusions in people – a family is on a road trip when it’s suddenly revealed they’re driving on the train tracks! And that somehow causes all of them to fall out of their car when dad slams on the breaks! Uh….. HUH?? Also some guy hallucinates that he’s water skiing while he’s really in a field, and is laughed at, but still, the whole family fell out of their car. How does that work? I’m so confused…
Zone Fighter 23 大恐獣バクゴンの秘密

We’re on strike until we get real pants!

Zone Fighter 22 逆襲! スーパージキロを倒せ

Zone Fighter Episode 22 – Gyakushuu! Suupaajikiro-wo Taose

Zone Fighter Episode 22 – Gyakushuu! Suupaajikiro-wo Taose

aka 逆襲! スーパージキロを倒せ aka Counterstrike! Strike Down Super-Jikiro! aka Counterattack! Defeat Super Jiriko
Zone Fighter 22 逆襲! スーパージキロを倒せ
1973
Written by Masaru Takesue
Directed by Masao Minowa

March of Godzilla 2014

Jikiro hate bathtime!!

It’s time for another episode of Zone Fighter with Counterstrike! Strike Down Super-Jikiro!AKA Hikaru Gets a Girlfriend! Yes, the producers have noticed that Hikaru is a red-blooded Japanese male, but somehow doesn’t even look at the ladies, so they have one run into him this episode…literally! But don’t get too attached, she’s a one and done, and Hikaru even has a completely different “girlfriend” a few episodes later.

This episode takes place over the longest stretch of time that a single episode does, the exact amount I couldn’t determine, but Hikaru goes through two surgeries and recovery periods. Even with Zone Family super healing, at least two weeks goes by where a terror-beast is free to cause havoc and destruction.

Zone Fighter 22 逆襲! スーパージキロを倒せ

Why you shouldn’t buy cheap gloves


That terror-beast is stupid Jikiro, now back in Super Jikiro form. Someone must have really loved that monster concept, as this is the second of three appearances of Jikiro, though technically he’s Super Jikiro (and thus a different monster according to the official stats.) Weirdly, when he pops up again, he’ll just be plain old Jikiro. That episodes opens its own can of worms about terror-beast identities that will be discussed when the time comes. What is important is we got a new version of Jikiro with a new red paint job and new magnetic powers that prove to be more than a match for Zone Fighter. At least until he has radical surgery. Super Jikiro destroys a huge boat in the beginning of the episode and is implied to be rampaging in Tokyo Harbor, possibly killing untold numbers and disrupting the Japanese economy.

Painting new colors on old toys seems to be the new trick of the Garoga Scientist, because there is also a debut of a Garoga Submarine, which looks exactly like a Garoga Fighter, except it has yellow trim instead of red trim. Big difference there! It doesn’t have immunity from being shot up by Zone Fighter’s flying underwater car, which is an oversight they should have saw the need for before the prototype was even assembled!

Zone Fighter 22 逆襲! スーパージキロを倒せ

Don’t Zone and drive!


If you watch Zone Fighter just for the random appearances of toy store owner Takeru Jou, then this is a sad episode for you, because it’s the last appearance of the random character who took time away from characterization time for actual members of the Zone Family. We can only assume that he was murdered by the Garoga, and his head now tops Baron Garoga’s cane.

If you like shows with lots of surgery, people getting scalpels to the eye, and innocent people killed, then you’ll totally enjoy this episode! Don’t forget to drop by the Zone Fighter Splash Page for everything Zone Fighter.

Zone Fighter 22 逆襲! スーパージキロを倒せ

Scene stolen by Pacific Rim!

RiffTrax attack of the puppet people

Attack of the Puppet People – new RiffTrax VOD!


RiffTrax returns in tiny form with the new VOD, Attack of the Puppet People! Darn those puppet people and their constant attacks! Where is Jim Henson when you need him? So Attack of the Puppet People is a classic B-movie I saw long ago as a tiny person myself, though I was a child and not an adult shrunken down by a madman. It’s pretty much a big ball of corn, and will make a hilarious RiffTrax, which means it’s going to get bumped up on my list of RiffTrax VODs I need to get around to seeing someday. If you have free time because you aren’t constantly working/learning programming/writing for your website, grab Attack of the Puppet People today from RiffTrax.com, and let us know how awesome it is!

When a dollmaker’s wife leaves him, which of the following does he do? A) Reflects inward on his failed marriage, seizes the opportunity for self-improvement, starts working out, embraces meditation, and emerges a better man. B) Starts putting away a twelve pack before noon every day, eating week old Chinese takeout, and getting really into English Premier League soccer as a means of ignoring his sorrows. C) Starts shrinking people down into a collection of miniature doll-people for no real reason.

If you guessed C, then congratulations, you’re clearly a madman bent on ill-fated schemes of varying degrees of lunacy. And no you can’t borrow our shrinking ray.

Attack of the Puppet People tells the story of such a madman, and the unfortunate woman who stumbles across his scheme while working as a secretary at his doll factory. That’s right, he makes dolls, and turns people into dolls, and dolls are probably found in a section of the toy store close to puppets, hence: Attack of the Puppet People. There is a puppet show in the movie, but it isn’t a result of the madman. It’s the result of another madman, it supposedly played on Broadway, and you will not believe your eyes when you see it.

Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for Attack of the Puppet People, classic 60s B movie cheese that is almost as scary as that Roberto Benigni version of Pinocchio!

RiffTrax attack of the puppet people

Deadly Dolls 少女は異世界で戦った Rina Takeda

Rina Takeda kicks more evil dudes in Danger Dolls (少女は異世界で戦った)

Deadly Dolls 少女は異世界で戦った Rina Takeda

Rina Takeda has been pumping out films far faster than I can keep up, and Danger Dolls (少女は異世界で戦ったShôjo wa isekai de tatakatta) has slipped through the cracks. The title translates to Young Girls Battle in the Parallel World, which is why we’re getting the far more marketable (but dumb) Danger Dolls title for international release.

Four young women are super-heroines who disguise themselves as pop idols and battle evil businessmen from a parallel dimension that want to unleash guns and nuclear weapons unto their world. So basically it’s a simplified version of They Live, except parallel Republican Earth instead of Republican aliens.

Rina Takeda stars alongside Rumi Hanai, Nana Seino, and Kayano as the fearsome foursome. Shusuke Kaneko (Gamera Trilogy, Death Note, Azumi, Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack) directs, I’ve seen more of his films than I’ve thought, but he’s still creating several more each year. That means I might never catch up!

Unfortunately the film doesn’t appear to be very good. KungFuCinema forum member Takuma, who says “The climax is so cliched and illogical that it pretty much hurts brains.” They’ve not even put up a trailer yet, despite the film having a festival premiere, so someone in marketing needs to be fired… Heck, there is more information about Deadly Dolls in this post than their is on the official site!

Until Deadly Dolls gets a release in the US, remember to kick evil wherever you find it!

via KungFuCinema
via

Sharknado pop vinyl

Sharknado 3 and Sharknado vinyl!

Sharknado pop vinyl

Sharknado Sharknado Sharknado! Yes, it’s true, the SyFy disasterpiece Sharknado will be a trilogy, Asylum has confirmed it. That’s about all they confirmed this far out, expect it to air summer 2015 on SyFy. No word on if that will be the only original movie on SyFy in 2015, as 2014 is turning out to be a drought year for creature features. Other companies need to get into the monsters in tornadoes genre if they want any hope of being on television. (Actually, please don’t do that, other companies!)

Sharknado 2 airs July 31, 2014 on SyFy.

If you like vinyl figures and Sharknadoes, then you will love the Sharknado vinyl from Funko/Pop! Vinyl, which comes out in June.

Via Adweek