Death Clique Lifetime

Death Clique (Review)

Death Clique

Death Clique Lifetime
2014
Written by Barbara Kymlicka
Directed by Doug Campbell

Death Clique Lifetime
Friends can be murder when you join the Death Clique! A strong Lifetime exploitation flick is torpedoed by the ridiculous conclusion that panders a bit too much to the power of moms. But before we harp on that, Death Clique goes through the steps of the dissolving of a friendship due to the characters branching in different directions in life. Sara is the typical upper middle class girl whose dad is too wrapped up in work to pay much attention and whose mom Lana seems to be a typical stay at home mom who can’t imagine her daughter doing anything bad. By contrast, Jade has no mom, and her dad spends time away for weeks at a time, handing her not enough cash to get food and leaning on Sara’s family for support.

The two main girls, Sara and Jade, would never make it as friends after Sara leaves for college and Jade leaves to flunk out of community college and get knocked up by a fry cook. It’s not destiny that Jade would have a hard life, but the odds are not in her favor. So when Ashley arrives as the new girl at school, mature and as without parental supervision as Jade, it seems like a perfect match. Except Ashley has a very creepy dark side, and stupid Sara just keeps getting in the way as she tries to hold on to her friendship with Jade. Someone needs to take care of Sara, so she’ll stop ruining everything.
Death Clique Lifetime
Said taken care of does happen, thus we deal with the consequences. I wasn’t sure if they’d go through with it, because things go on for a long time before it gets bloody. But it does, and is well done, you can see why Jade would be stricken with PTSD after watching it go down. Now Lana has to figure out what happened to her daughter, and before the end of the film.
Death Clique Lifetime

Ashley Tralman (Tina Ivlev) – The first we see of Ashley is her treating her drunk mom Tina with total disrespect, and she goes downhill from there. Moves to a new school where she becomes obsessed with Jade, and also obsessed with driving off Jade’s best friend Sara. Is she an evil lesbian or just a creep who wants a sister/pet to love to replace the affection she doesn’t get from mom?
Sara Cowan (Lexi Ainsworth) – High school good girl and best friends with Jade, but becomes threatened with bad girl Ashley becomes competition for Jade’s affections. At one point Sara had run away, so her initial disappearance is believed to have been another runaway attempt and not murder.
Jade Thompson (Brittany Underwood) – Girl from a broken home with little adult supervision doing her best, but failing. Best friends with Sara, who has the perfect home life. Finds a kindred spirit (or so she thinks) with Ashley, but Ashley is far more bad girl than she can handle.
Lana Cowan (Barbara Alyn Woods) – Sara’s mom, a typical mom who loves her daughter and is unaware of all the drama going on. But when Sara disappears, she knows something is wrong and is desperate and driven to unravel all the threads.

Death Clique Lifetime

It's Entertainment

It’s Entertainment – Bollywood goes to the dogs!


Don’t you just hate it when you’ve proven that your long-lost father is a gazillionaire who just died and you are now entitled to inherit his entire estate, except for the small fact that he willed it all to his dog? That’s the premise of It’s Entertainment, as Akshay Kumar discovers his windfall is in the paws of another, a canine called Entertainment. Of course, Kumar isn’t going to take this lying down, and vows to murder the dog (and make it look like an accident) so he’ll get all the money. He didn’t count on the dog being smarter than him, and cue a bunch of Home Alone-style traps backfiring on our plucky hero.

Things go from weird to worse when some other relatives show up, actual criminals who want to kill Akshay Kumar and claim the money. The dog Entertainment saves Kumar, and the two then team up to try to take down the crooks. Of course, there are lots of goofy moments and musical productions along the way, including what I hope is a love song between a woman and the dog. It looks like it will be pretty ridiculous, with lots of slapstick humor and dog tricks and scenes swiped wholesale from Kung Fu Hustle. The tagline “Its ‘Bhow’mper… Its ‘Woof’tastic…” shows that puns are alive and well. I’m certainly going to check it out, where else will you have the movie’s hero screaming he’s going to drink the blood of a dog?

It’s Entertainment is the directorial debut of the writing duo known as Sajid-Farhad. Akshay Kumar stars alongside Tamannaah Bhatia, Mithun Chakraborty, Prakash Raj, Sonu Sood, and Johnny Lever. And also whoever the dog is played by. It’s Entertainment opens August 8th.

It's Entertainment

City of the Dead RiffTrax

City of the Dead – New RiffTrax VOD!

The worst part of living in a City of the Dead is how hard it is to find parking! Also the food usually sucks. But you can usually find a stiff drink, so maybe it’s not so bad. Don’t take my word for it, RiffTrax is bax with another VOD title, City of the Dead, featuring Christopher Lee in a totally not evil evil role. There is 1960s British stuff, pretend Americans, and similar elements to Psycho, which was released at almost the exact same time. (speaking of which, remember that Psycho II is also a RiffTrax VOD!)

Buy it at RiffTrax.com!

Visit the scenic City of the Dead! Just up the road from the Village of the Damned and a hop, skip and a jump away from the Municipality of the Mildly Bloated. This is vintage horror stuff. A sleepy northeastern town, still under the shadow of the witchcraft trials it once held, a town that’s now somehow completely forgotten by the world despite existing in the middle of New England in the 1960s. Get out your vintage horror bingo card and prepare to check off things like “elderly gas station attendant who warns people not to go up that road.” Yes, all your favorite cliches are here!

Speaking of vintage horror cliches: Christopher Lee! Before he was Saruman, before he was…*sigh*…Dooku, he was a professor of the occult with a penchant for sending pretty young female students off to dangerous, devil-worshipping towns. Might he turn out to be secretly evil? For your answer, we remind you again that this is Christopher Lee.

Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for a road trip to the City of the Dead! Because hey, it’s still gotta be better than Fort Worth.

City of the Dead RiffTrax

Return to Zero Lifetime

Return to Zero with Lifetime

Return to Zero Lifetime

Lifetime takes a break from exploitative dramas and literary adaptations (that often double as exploitative dramas) to present an actual drama with Return to Zero. It features a couple that is shattered after a miscarriage, but then gets a second chance due to an unplanned pregnancy. It looks to edge closer to realism than crazy, but that can be good as well when done correctly. Return to Zero stars Minnie Driver, Paul Adelstein, Alfred Molina, and Kathy Baker, and is written and directed by Sean Hanish.

The plot:

Based on a true story, Return to Zero, tells the story of a successful couple, Maggie and Aaron, who are preparing for the arrival of their first child. Just weeks before their due date they are devastated to discover that their baby son has died in the womb and will be stillborn.

The two attempt to go on with their lives but cannot escape their postpartum grief and their relationship has been forever altered by this loss. They try to cope in a myriad of ways– through denial, escape, and alcohol– but when Maggie discovers that Aaron is having an affair with a co-worker, she decides to end the marriage. Just when Maggie believes she has started a new life, she discovers that she is pregnant. With the help of an empathetic doctor who once experienced a similar loss, Maggie finally learns to grieve for her son and must reunite with Aaron to prepare for their second pregnancy.

Return to Zero premieres May 17th on Lifetime. And never fear, the incest crazy train Lifetime movies will return next week with Petals on the Wind, the sequel to Flowers in the Attic!

via Lifetime

Zilla Godzilla Final Wars

RiffTrax vs. Godzilla!


RiffTrax has announced a new Kickstarter so they can get the rights to riff on the 1998 terrible version of Godzilla! But not only is it great news, the Kickstarter was announced while I was waiting in line for a screening of the new 2014 Godzilla, and by the next morning had already reached its goal and then some! Which was all the excuse I needed to post this a bit later. So for those of you who missed the announcement or were putting it off and need a reminder: RiffTrax. Godzilla. Let’s do this!

Last time the goal was to get the money to do Twilight, but the result ended up being Starship Troopers. This time, they already have things set up to get Godzilla, so it will be Godzilla and not some random film. Because the Kickstarter has met its goal, the choice now is just what extras you want to get. There are digital shorts, gift certificates, t-shirts, and even a huge prize of the RiffTrax guys riffing your own film. It’s only 5 grand, why not have them make fun of you wedding? You’ll look fondly back on the video as you pay alimony because your wife dumped you for blowing the nest egg on her being insulted by guys from the internet.

There are plenty of cool stuff to get no matter your budget. And prepare yourselves for the RiffTrax Live Godzilla event, because it’s totally on now! So open up your wallets and donate, that insulin can wait a month!

Disclaimer: I will probably contribute to this Kickstarter, but haven’t done so at the time this post was published.

Zilla Godzilla Final Wars

Good grief, I suck!

Godzilla 2014

Godzilla – 2014 (Review)

Godzilla

Godzilla 2014
2014
Story by Dave Callaham
Screenplay by Max Borenstein
Directed by Gareth Edwards

March of Godzilla 2014
Godzilla 2014
We were all a little apprehensive when we learned that there would be a second American Godzilla movie. After all, once bitten, twice shy. And while the memories of Matthew Broderick battling a preggers dinosaur that loves fish while things go all Jurassic Park are scarred in memories forever, Gareth Edwards brought American Godzilla movies full circle into actually good. Godzilla is big, fights monsters, has atomic breath, isn’t taken out like a punk, and becomes a realized character despite being a CGI construct. He’s the real deal. Just saying that makes me so happy I had to recalibrate my breakdown of the film because it does have its flaws. Nothing that we haven’t seen before in major tentpole films, but I’m not above pointing them out again and again.

I had my problems with Gareth Edwards, I found Monsters interesting when it had anything to do with monsters, and not when it had anything to do with people. Edwards brings his monster affinity to full load with Godzilla, the monsters are just so huge, so out of scale, that people are just running around trying to survive beneath their feet. The sheer enormity is a stark contrast to how helpless everyone is when the creatures are around.
Godzilla 2014
Edwards trades two hours of monster destruction porn for an array of different effects of the destruction, from news clips to destructive aftermaths to monsters fighting it out in the background while humans run for their lives. But there is plenty of fighting going on during the climactic scenes set in San Francisco. They play tribute to the monster fights of old, but allow at CGI Godzilla to do a few moves that wouldn’t quite work with people in suits. Overall, the fight sequences are fun, but the meat of the monster appearances are just showing them so huge and destructive, and the people struggling to survive. The sequences with the monsters on rampage become a mix of giant monster, horror, and nature run amok all rolled up into one, and pulled off perfectly.

Gareth Edwards still has problems making interesting people, but he’s compensated by using incredibly awesome actors who turn those people interesting despite what they are given. Bryan Cranston is amazing as the obsessive dad who jumbles from one tragedy to another. Aaron Taylor-Johnson had good chemistry with Elizabeth Olsen (which will be important as they’re siblings in Avengers 2!), but when by himself just became a less charming Channing Tatum. Moments like when he was suddenly guarding a shoehorned in random Japanese kid gave him more depth than all his running around while covered in dirt scenes combined.

Godzilla here is part of a large conspiracy to cover up that there are large monsters in the world, and he’s the apex predator. The problem is when the other ones start popping up, because they begin destroying cities and causing all sorts of destruction. Things can no longer be hidden away, and soon Godzilla leaves his Pacific Atoll to destroy these new idiots. No one challenges the king.
Godzilla 2014