Bark Ranger

Bark Ranger – Talking dog battles creeps!

Once again, a talking dog will save the day and defeat thieves with Bark Ranger! Yes, I’ve found yet another “talking dog home alone” film, except it takes place in the woods. Which is home to animals, thus home alone! Now, if you own a talking dog, why are you searching for gold mines instead of minting gold with YouTube superstardom? Freaking kids…

Anyway, we got a talking dog, we got bumbling thieves, we got thieves in a truck trying to run down kids and a dog. It’s got something for everyone! Bark Ranger is going to be directed by Geoff Anderson, who directed Vampire Dog and Step Dogs, and written by Jason Delaney, who I can’t find any prior credits for.

Hopefully the dog wears the hat in the film. Maybe he even battles with a bear over picnic baskets! Then I hope Bark Ranger gives an impassioned speech about preserving the nation’s natural wonders that brings tears to the eyes of the bumbling thieves.

Bumbling thieves stranded in the wilderness when their getaway van craps out, are discovered by a pair of goldmine seeking kids and their rambunctious talking Golden Retriever. The thieves try and snatch the kids, but are fended off by the heroic dog. The kids lead the thieves into the gold mine and escape through a narrow vent shaft, and then try and make their escape by bike. But the thieves are soon after them in their truck and a crazy chase ensues. But the kids have a plan which leads to an epic showdown.

via Trilight

Bark Ranger

Archie Robodog

Archie: Robodog – talking robot dog shenanigans!

Part dog. Part machine. Totally awesome. This is the tag line for Archie: Robodog, which gives the world what it wants, more robot dog movies! The dog is not only a robot, but it talks, and helps fight against capitalist oppressors who want to destroy small town America and turn it into the latest franchise location. Well, Burgertropolis, it’s time you got Robodogged!

Archie: Robodog is written by Robin Dunne, who you may recall starred in Cruel Intentions 2, Species III, American Psycho II: All American Girl, The Skulls II, Au Pair II, Beyond Sherwood Forest , Scarecrow, and Space Milkshake. Well, he also writes, and has written the four entries in the Roxy Hunter series: Roxy Hunter and the Mystery of the Moody Ghost, Roxy Hunter and the Myth of the Mermaid, Roxy Hunter and the Secret of the Shaman, and Roxy Hunter and the Horrific Halloween.

Robot dog films are becoming one of the next big things in dog movie plots, along with the talking dogs home alone genre. It is a great time to be a fan of robot dogs or mouthy dogs that square off against evil in all its forms.

ISABEL SULLIVAN (15) has just moved to a small town to live with her uncle PAUL who is the town’s mayor. Isabel has recently lost her parents in a car accident. Feeling very alone and friendless, Isabel befriends a stray robot dog named ARCHIE. Though he looks like a normal dog, he is anything but. He can talk. He can run at blinding speed. He’s got super strength and x-ray vision.

Isabel and Archie become fast friends. She teaches him how to be a normal dog while he helps her to fit in with the cool kid clique. Most of all, Isabel can confide in Archie about what happened to her parents. Archie can relate. He’s never had a family – until now.

As the summer progresses, things start to get tricky. Paul is up for re-election and finds himself running against VERONICA TAYLOR who happens to be in cahoots with BURGERTROPOLIS – a national fast food franchise that has been trying to buy Paul out for years. What’s worse, an evil man named HUGH JABLONSKI shows up in town claiming to be Archie’s rightful owner…

via Trilight

Archie Robodog

SOS Conspiracion Bikini Conspiracy Mexico Alex Dinamo

S.O.S. Conspiracion Bikini (Review)

S.O.S. Conspiracion Bikini

aka S.O.S. Bikini Conspiracy
SOS Conspiracion Bikini Conspiracy Mexico
1967
Written and directed by René Cardona Jr.
SOS Conspiracion Bikini Conspiracy Mexico Alex Dinamo
The best conspiracies don’t involve the government teaming up with aliens to stick things in your butt, but instead involve lots of women in bikinis. Mexico was hip to this fact long before the rest of the world, thus the 1967 cinematic entry S.O.S. Conspiración Bikini. Not only is there a dastardly conspiracy that requires lots of women to wander around in bikinis, but this film is the first appearance of a Mexican answer to James Bond, Alex Dinamo. The Alex Dinamo character would find footing in a comic book series and a sequel film released soon after (with an eye for international release), Peligro!…Mujeres en Acción (Danger! Women in Action). From what I can gather, that was the last appearance of Alex Dinamo onscreen, and he disappeared into the ether after the cancellation of his comic series at date unknown (aka I couldn’t find it), though there was a lucha wrestler named Abismo Negro who used the name Alex Dinamo for a time.

Most Alex Dinamo information online concerns the two film productions. Both S.O.S. Conspiración Bikini and Peligro!…Mujeres en Acción are Ecuadorian coproductions, directed by Mexican genre director extraordinaire, René Cardona Jr. The S.O.S. in the title is not a call for help because of bikini conspiracy complications, but is the name of the villainous organization, S.O.S. (Secret Organizational Service). Perhaps that was a threatening name in 1967, now it just sounds like a college club that needs an excuse to get drunk.
SOS Conspiracion Bikini Conspiracy Mexico Alex Dinamo
As you may have guessed, the main attraction of S.O.S. Conspiración Bikini is the bikini clad babes (featuring Peter Pan swimwear designed by Oleg Cassini), who are usually carrying weapons of deadly force. The S.O.S. is a global organization, but has a large number of women in prominent roles. This is juxtaposed by the raw masculinity of Alex Dinamo and his heroic organization, where both Alex and his boss Inspector spend much of their down time (and up time!) chasing after tail. One of the only heroic women spends much of the film annoyed that Alex Dinamo isn’t spending 100% of his attention on her tail, but not so annoyed that she drops the creep. The other becomes someone for Alex Dinamo to rescue, except for the point where he doesn’t and she dies.

As one of them newfangled spy movies, there is lots of gadgets and things going on. Guns are built into cameras, makeup containers, even high healed shoes. People speak in code and use matchbooks for symbols. At other times, characters openly state they are working for organizations and are about as covert as a bull in a china shop. The opening sequence with a fisherman taking photos leads to a ridiculously complicated method of sending intelligence information around the globe coded in microfilm disguised as a period at the end of typewritten sentence that was a coded message for arms dealers trade routes. This first encounter with S.O.S. takes place 12 years before the film proper, and there is no evidence the heroes even know they are dealing with a super secret conspiracy organization.
SOS Conspiracion Bikini Conspiracy Mexico Alex Dinamo

Alex Dinamo (Julio Alemán) – The most secret secret agents who was ever not a secret, Alex Dinamo must be good, because his name is ridiculous! Works for International Service and fights evil. Julio Alemán was also Rocambole in the two 1967 Rocambole films – Rocambole Contra las Mujeres Arpías and Rocambole Contra la Secta del Escorpion. He appeared in over 150 films and was chairman of the Mexican actors’ union, the Asociación Nacional de Actores (National Actors’ Association). He died in 2012 of lung cancer.
Adriana (Sonia Furió) – The girl Alex Dinamo came to see on vacation (at least that’s what he says!) Of course, that doesn’t keep Alex from hitting on other bikini women, much to Adriana’s anger. Adriana spends much of the film in bikinis herself, and she’s accomplished enough as a martial artist to flip Alex if needed. She’s still captured by SOS, because that’s what they do. Sonia Furió is a Spanish-born actress who gained some critical acclaim in Mexican cinema.
Inspector (Roberto Cañedo) – Alex Dinamo’s boss at International Service. He tells Alex to not be so reckless with the job, and also with the skirts. Will occasionally wander into the story, but besides giving vague guidelines that Dinamo disregards he doesn’t really add anything of value.
Murdered Agent (???) – Member of International Service that Dinamo recognizes and aides a few times, but she’s eventually murdered. Was undercover as a bikini model in the SOS empire. If she had a name, it was never said out loud, despite her being a somewhat major character. I am not sure who plays her.
Bristol (Sonia Infante) – SOS leader who seems to be THE leader, with Luigi right below her. Bristol is ruthless and sharp, but her plans for international expansion hit a speedbump by the name of Dinamo. A busy and acclaimed actress from the 1960s (the Infante clan is a minor acting dynasty), Sonia Infante took an 18 year break from acting after her 1967 marriage, but returned in the 80s after her divorce.
Luigi (Carlos Agostí) – A leading member of SOS, Luigi is well-known enough he has to be smuggled into Ecuador. As he’s the only SOS leader who is well-known, he realizes it’s dumb to bring him in and dumb to have everyone together. He doesn’t have enough influence for anyone to actually listen to him.
Lucrecia (Maura Monti) – An SOS goon who has a higher ranking position in the organization. She also has a musical number and is responsible for smuggling in Luigi.
Madame Rapiee (Lorraine Chanel?) – Lady who organizes all the bikini models for SOS. She’s also a high-ranking member of SOS. I think she’s played by Lorraine Chanel, who gained fame in the US primarily for having an affair with Gary Cooper. It’s hard to find good images of her to make this ID 100% certain.
Uli (Noe Murayama) – High-ranking SOS goon who really really hates Alex Dinamo, especially since he keeps foiling his attempt to murder other agents. Noe Murayama is a familiar face in Mexican genre cinema.

In addition, Isela Vega appears as one of the SOS women who is somewhat sympathetic to Dinamo. Liza Castro is also credited, but I’m not sure who she plays. She appears in the sequel in an expanded role.
SOS Conspiracion Bikini Conspiracy Mexico Alex Dinamo

The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom Lifetime

The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom is a secret no more on Lifetime!

The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom Lifetime

Wow, this secret sex life is too hot for tv!

Delaine Moore’s biographical book The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom gained a following in the post-50 Shades world due to its frank discussion of female sexuality without becoming outright hardcore. The fact it was well written also helped. Moore describes her adventures post-divorce, where she went on a sexual empowerment journey that let her discover that she didn’t have to be defined just as a divorced mother, but could be a whole person who could determine for herself what gave her satisfaction.

Some of the things she does would cast more towards the “deviant” side for mainstream television, but this is almost the perfect movie for Lifetime. A divorced single mom and lots of sexy empowering scenarios? Talk about your perfect target demographic material! And we all know that Lifetime will make sure something ridiculous is in there, but there should be a lot of fun, and perhaps this will even turn into an underground Lifetime classic. Not because it’s ridiculous, but because it’s a much-needed message for women today.

The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom stars Alex Carter, Wesley Morgan, Jeff Roop, Ashley Jones, and Cynthia Preston. It’s directed by John L’Ecuyer (Sorority Surrogate), and Lifetime all-star Christine Conradt adapted it from Delaine Moore’s book.

Based on the memoir by Canadian author Delaine Moore.

Delaine Morris is a devoted wife and mother who has built her life — and identity — around her family. When she discovers her husband is having an affair, she’s prompted to see how broken her marriage really is; and she can no longer subsist on self-told lies and excuses.

Coaxed by friends into trying online dating, Delaine begins corresponding with “The Duke”. Even though he lives far away, she’s hooked: His views on women’s sexuality and power both shock and captivate her. Under his online ‘mentorship’, Delaine begins dating local men and rediscovering the ambition, assertiveness and sexual desire she has been missing for so many years. But despite her strides forward in reclaiming her body and self, one pervasive thought won’t leave her alone: What would happen if she and The Duke actually met?

The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom airs Saturday May 31st on Lifetime!

via Lifetime

She Shoot Straight

She Shoots Straight (Review)

She Shoots Straight

aka 皇家女將 aka Huang jia nu jiang aka Lethal Lady
She Shoot Straight
1990
Written by Yuen Gai-Chi and Barry Wong Ping-Yiu
Directed by Corey Yuen Kwai

She Shoot Straight
An underloved classic, She Shoots Straight gives us a healthy dose of female fighting action that will satisfy even demanding Hong Kong Action Cinema junkies, as well as throwing in family drama and even a few funny scenes. Corey Yuen helms and shows off his action movie chops that have kept him producing cool cinema for decades.

Despite the awesome fights, She Shoots Straight failed to do well at the box office and has gone down in history as a failure. Despite the effort of many cult film fans and bloggers, it remains relatively obscure, lacking a lead who is one of the better known Girls with Guns actresses. It deserves a larger audience, the fight sequences are brutal and well choreographed, and several of the supporting actresses are legends of Hong Kong cinema. An English dub exists, but it is terrible, so avoid it like the plague.
She Shoot Straight
Joyce Godenzi is a former Miss Hong Kong (1984), whose big break in the acting world was 1987’s Easter Condors, directed by her future husband Sammo Hung. Mixed Australian and Chinese, it is even mentioned in the film. Her Eurasian ancestry and accusations of being a homewrecker (Sammo Hung was married when they met) may have had a hand in her disappearing from the spotlight. This is one of several films Hung put together for her.

Agnes Aurelio is an American-born body building champion, and I’ve seen her claimed to be the daughter of former President of the Philippines (though I can’t figure out which one, so take that with a grain of salt!) She apparently makes a fleeting appearance in JFK(!!), which gives her a Kevin Bacon number of 1.

Tang Pik-Wan plays the Huang family matriarch. A classic Hong Kong actress with credits dating back to 1950, She Shoots Straight would be among her last work, passing away in 1991. Her credits largely consist of opera or comedic roles, and she had a long career on television serials as well.
She Shoot Straight
With Carina Lau and Sandra Ng as sisters, the Huang family is well represented with legendary actresses and 1980s hairstyles. Rounding out the four sisters are Angile Leung and Sarah Lee (who is somehow Loletta Lee’s sister!), who are short on lines thanks to the already huge cast. Sammo Hung pops up as an adopted member of the Huang family who is also a cop. Yuen Wah is almost unrecognizable as the Vietnamese gang leader. His hair style and nerdy glasses hide the ruthless individual beneath who cares for nothing except his own family and revenge, innocents be damned.

The action sequences are solid, opening with Mina Kao showing her stuff saving a diplomat. There is a lot of leaping through windows and shooting while flying in the air. There is also a huge body count, with not only villains but many police and innocent people getting killed and maimed as the fights continue. The villains are presented as a force of pure destruction, the cops can only hope that they’ve brought enough men and ammo to slow them down and contain them. The final fight is classic, and the assault on the cargo ship is filled with some awesome moments of butt kicking. Ignoring the family drama, the action alone is enough to bump this up to classic territory.
She Shoot Straight

Inspector Mina Kao (Joyce Godenzi) – Decorated police inspector headed for a high ranking position. Also a new bride of a husband feeling pressure not only to carry on the family line, but because she’ll soon outrank him. A tough cop who gets results.
Huang Chia-Ling (Carina Lau Ka-Ling) – Hot-headed sister-in-law of Mina, doesn’t like her one bit. Her anger issues endangers a mission, then help lead her into a trap that she’s saved from at the cost of her brother. Forms a bond with Mina after that event.
Mrs. Huang (Tang Pik-Wan) – Matriarch of the Huang family, was the wife of a cop and saw her four daughters and one son become cops.
Inspector Huang Tsung-Pao (Tony Leung Ka-Fai) – The only son of a three-generation police family. You might as well call him Inspector Dead Meat, because he’s way too nice to survive. And that’s not just an opinion, it happens.
Huang Chia-Ju (Sandra Ng Kwun-Yu) – While a more minor character, Sandra Ng is a welcome sight as another of Tsung-Pao’s sisters who is involved in a few of the action scenes.
Yuen Hua (Yuen Wah) – Vietnamese refugee who is a veteran of guerrilla warfare, came to Hong Kong to cause trouble and rob for money. Life is cheap to Yuen Hua, except that of his family. Leaves a bloody trail at all of his crime spots.
Yuen Ying (Agnes Aurelio) – Sister of Yuen Hua and a huge body builder and fighter. Just as ruthless as her brother, and more perceptive about the police. Has a big fight scene with Mina Kao.

She Shoot Straight

Age of Tomorrow

Asylum takes us to the Age of Tomorrow!

When it comes to busting mocks, Asylum is there, because we all know that busting makes you feel good! Now the sights are set on The Edge of Tomorrow with Age of Tomorrow! Despite the similar title and the plot involving an alien invasion, the films are distinct beasts, with Asylum’s being more of a conspiracy theory mystery alien invasion film.

When the sun strikes an altar hidden within the ancient Pyramid of the Sun in Mexico, it creates a beacon that triggers an alien blitzkrieg. Within hours, their ships destroy all the military infrastructure on earth. One anthropologist knows how to repel the invaders, but this secret is buried under the ruins of the Pyramid of the Moon–directly underneath the mothership.

Kelly Hu and Robert Picardo star, along with Matt Mercer and Laura Alexandra Ramos. No trailer has shown up online yet, despite the film’s June 10th release date. We’ll keep you up to date, assuming things look interesting. At the very least, Robert Picardo is always awesome, and there should be shots of alien fleets blowing things up.

Airplane vs Volcano codirector James Kondelik is in the director’s chair, and the writers are Jacob Cooney and Bill Hanstock (both from Apocalypse Pompeii)

If you are unsure about going to an Age of Tomorrow, then you can just visit the World of Tomorrow, which is an alternate title for some overseas markets.

Via Asylum
Age of Tomorrow