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Come Drink With me
InBad, Movie Reviews

Come Drink with Me (Review)

July 27, 2005By

Come Drink with Me

aka Da zui xia

1966
Starring
Pei-Pei Cheng as Golden Swallow
Hua Yueh as Drunken Cat
Hung Lieh Chen as Jade Faced Tiger
Chih-Ching Yang as Abbot Liao Kung

Back in the day, Kung Fu women still kicked butt. Pei-Pei Cheng was one of those women, who helped blaze trails that modern action women march down every day. This film is one that helped inspire countless films after it, it transcends being simply a martial arts film, and becomes a great martial arts film. It’s not just the fights, it’s the costumes, characters, actors, story, and just overall feel of the film. Does it have flaws? Of course. They are fewer in number than most of the films that come down the pipe, but we shall have no inhibitions about pointing them out. A good time is to be had, come this way. Come drink this movie with us. (Boy, that sounds a lot better than the literal translation “Big Drunk Hero” which would cause us to invite you to become a fat drunk slob.)

Cutie Honey
InBad, Movie Reviews

Cutie Honey (Review)

July 22, 2005By

Cutie Honey

aka Kyuutii Hanii

2004
Starring
Eriko Sato as Honey Kisaragi/Cutie Honey
Jun Murakami as Seiji Hayami
Mikako Ichikawa as Natsuko Aki


Based on some Anime I’ve never read or seen, Cutie Honey explodes on the screen with outlandish costumes, outlandish overacting, an overly complicated plot, and female characters who can’t seem to keep clothes on. The film tones down the exploding clothes and keeps Cutie Honey running around in her underwear, which is different from what I’ve heard about the ink-drawn source, but confirming that would make me feel far too creepy, so it shall remain a mystery for now. Cutie Honey tries to keep it’s source in mind, as many scenes and dialogue have the look and sound of just jumping off of a cartoon into reality. Some of the situations make little sense in the realm of the reality presented her, or in the real world, but one just goes with the flow. The film itself if entertaining, and does it’s job of being a mindless popcorn flick full of flashy colors, exploding things, fighting, and pretty girls.

Species 3
InMovie Reviews, Ugly

Species III (Review)

July 18, 2005By

Species III


2004
Starring
Robin Dunne as Dean
Robert Knepper as Dr. Abbot
Sunny Mabrey as Sara
Amelia Cooke as Amelia
J.P. Pitoc as Hastings
Natasha Henstridge as Eve

Direct to Sci-Fi Channel? How could I lose? Natasha Henstridge made it big by being the alien desperately looking for Mr. Goodbar who just happened to be naked for 78.342193% of the movie. That was followed up by a movie where an Astronaut who went to Mars became an Alien Deuce Bigalow implanting women with exploding babies that reach birthing stage after a few seconds. Due to the quick work of Bubba Blue from Forrest Gump and the remade Natasha Henstridge Astronaut Jones became Astro-not Jones. However, just to show it wasn’t the end of the line, Species II made certain to leave an out. Actually, it left Three! We had one of the Village of the Damned-looking children survive, inside the army truck with dead Natasha, who’s stomach was growing because she was pregnant after death, and out number three involved a random cat that jumped on her stomach, punched around, and quickly ran off. So whatever writers tackled this legacy would have no problem coming up with some sort of plot device. Astoundingly, the writers still had to stretch to get the story rolling, despite it being set up perfectly and easily.

That 70s Girl
InMovie Reviews, Ugly

That 70’s Girl (Review)

July 10, 2005By

That 70’s Girl


2003
Starring
Misty Mundae as Petal
Julian Wells as Ashleigh
Kelli Summers (Suzi Lorraine) as Jennifer
AJ Khan as Mandy
John Link as Househunter

Misty Mundae has become synonymous with soft-core lesbian sex flicks that are spoofs of popular culture. Her and Seduction Cinema seem to pump out five or six a year, probably produced over a period of three days each. This one doesn’t even seem to have taken three hours to make. The pattern of goofy jokes followed by lesbian sex is fine in practice, but several times in this movie the jokes in between last one sentence, to be followed by fifteen minute long sex scenes that are played on quarter speed. The fact that Misty Mundae pumps out five of these a year, many with much better production values, jokes, and scenes of women aardvarking in groups of twos, threes, and eighty-sevens, hurts this film, and the fact it clocks in at under 50 minutes long is another strike. The charm of this film is if you find the hippie lifestyle and That 70s Show attractive enough that you want to see the Skinimax version.

InMovie Reviews, Ugly

Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation (Review)

July 7, 2005By

Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation


2004
Starring
Richard Burgi as Capt. V.J. Dax
Kelly Carlson as Pvt. Charlie Soda
Brenda Strong as Sgt. Dede Rak
Colleen Porch as Pvt. Lei Sahara
Ed Lauter as Gen. J. G. Shepherd
J.P. Manoux as TSgt. Ari Peck

The Bugs are Back, and this time they’ve got a plan! That plan? Crawl around and act stupid! Paul Verhoeven’s ridiculous adaptation of Heinlein’s Starship Troopers gets a low budget sequel put together by the special effects wizards who did the first film. Now, if you remove from your mind that the original is based on a pretty good book, the film suddenly becomes hundreds of times better, but is still an over satirized mess. Paul Verhoeven doesn’t bother with the sequel, I think he was working on another film with CGI Kevin Bacon penis or something. To save money, as this film had none, they spend most of it holed up in a bunker, and then do a lame representation of a different Heinlein book, The Puppet Masters. Unlike the last film, this one will neither be known for cheeseball graphic action nor coed showers.

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