Tera Jism Aur Mera Dil

aka Tera Jism Our Mera Dil

19??
Starring
???? as Suret
???? as Mami
???? as Doli
???? as Pajama Pimp
???? as Dunkin Donuts Guy
Directed by Ragava Rao

Tera Jism Aur Mera Dil is an Indian “erotic” film. Please note the quotes. There are several points that can be brought up here thanks to the term Indian “erotic” film. First of all, many of you know that Indian films become controversial if actors and actresses even KISS on screen, much less do the bedroom bam-bam. Fire director Deepa Mehta was criticized for having lesbians (and lesbians named after Hindu gods for worse!) and eventually had to no longer make films in India, while Kama Sutra director Mira Nair had her filmed banned in both India and Pakistan. There was even problems with the terrible C U at 9 film because the characters dared kiss and imply sex. No one mentions anything bad happening to the creators of Tera Jism Aur Mera Dil, mostly because there is absolutely no information about this film. Anywhere. The opening title and final “End” are also both presented in full screen, while the film is entirely widescreen. That, and the fact the film seems to have been edited by a weedwacker undergoing an LSD trip, provides a mess of confusion, and works into my theory that this film doesn’t want us to know anything about it. Least anyone find out that people from India like to have the sex (there’s only a billion of them, so they must be entirely chaste!) and go after the actors and actresses here (some of the women are probably on lone from the local real brothel.) So instead of filling you with lots of background information and giving you lots of fun facts, I’m drawing a big blank. There is little if any connection to films we’ve reviewed before, and there will be likely no connection to anything we review in the future. Tera Jism Aur Mera Dil is destined to be alone, stranded in the wilderness of TarsTarkas.NET to be rarely mentioned again.

The film is undoubtedly NOT erotic. It is in fact the opposite of erotic. It is derotic. The cheap VCD I got also has zero subtitles, thus confining the plot of the film to guesswork. There is some sort of plot, as someone ends up getting stabbed with a scythe at the end, but the particulars aren’t exactly forthcoming. So enjoy the guesswork. Even without the product being explained, one can recognize a stinker when you smell it. And this one’s stench is undeniable, reeking from across the globe all the way from its home in India, plaguing the land and killing crops. The print of the film was stored in a room full of running power sanders, where it was thrown around the room by many moving fans, thus causing the rapid decay in film print quality. Third generation bootleg tapes have been known to be clearer. From what I can figure out, there are essentially two movies going on simultaneously, and they do not connect in the slightest. Godfrey Ho would be proud. Movie A is the main flick, with Suret the horse boy. Movie B is a “hilarious” brothel romp that is not hilarious and downright stupid. Enough complaining, but we must get started. One cannot escape their destiny, and we’re on a mission from God to get through Tera Jism Aur Mera Dil so you don’t have to. The quest begins!