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New Review – Future Cops

May 8, 2007By

Future Cops has been added to the reviews this week! The exciting story of StreetFighter, except completely different and wacky! Complete with four movie clips.

Future Cops
InBad, Movie Reviews

Future Cops (Review)

May 7, 2007By

Future Cops

aka Chao ji xue xiao ba wang

1993
Directed by Wong Jing

They’re cops from the future, FUTURE COPS! Actually, these future cops look a lot like characters from Street Fighter 2, because they are! This is a film loosely based on the manga adaptation of Street Fighter, and great liberties were taken with some of the characters and the story. Granted, this is a Wong Jing film (writer of Naked Weapon, director of My Kung Fu Sweetheart) so it will be pretty silly regardless. Street Fighter characters would return again in Wong Jing’s City Hunter, based on a different manga and starring Jackie Chan, who becomes Chun Li at one point there. For this encounter, I went to help from others to organize just who is who in the movie, as I was not a big player of Street Fighter games. Mortal Kombat, yes. So besides a vague knowledge that some creepy guys are obsessed with Chun Li and her high kicks in skirts, I knew little to nothing about the characters before beginning. Thanks to my girlfriend and Wikipedia, I was able to piece together most of the characters. Wong Jing took many liberties, including changing most of the names, flipping people from hero to villain and vice versa, and throwing in a few random things just because he’s Wong Jing. There is also a parade of famous Hong Kong celebrities, too many to list in this paragraph, we will deal with them in the lengthy Roll Call section. This would be like taking the Oceans 11 casts and putting them in a Super Smash Brothers movie. Future Cops is full of wild action, crazy stunts, and zany antics. And it is a whole lot of fun! So sit right back and prepare, this video game don’t need extra quarters or furious button smashing, it is on autopilot!

The Future Cops:

Broom Man (Jacky Cheung Hok-Yau) – Broom Man is the representation of the character Guile. Called Kwan-lo in the film, he is actually used as a broom in the movie, and he goes undercover as a teacher, wooing one of his students. Broom Man gets the music video that spontaneously happens in the middle of the film. Special weapon/move is Crescent Knife. Jacky Cheung has been a popular pop singer in Hong Kong for over twenty years now, a rare feat to last that long. One of the Four Heavenly Kings.
Ti Man (Andy Lau Tak-Wah) – Ti Man (or Ti-Men) is the representation of the character known as Vega in the US and Balrog in Japan. In the video game storyline he is a villain, but in the world of Future Cops he is a hero. Takes Chun Li on a date, and into a video game. His metal claws and mask makes him look like some sort of Wolverine/Phantom of the Opera hybrid. Nice trivia for Andy Lau: he used to wash my girlfriend’s mom’s hair when he was a young hairdresser before he became famous. One of the Four Heavenly Kings.
Ah Song (Simon Yam Tat-Wah) – Ah Song is the representation of the character known as Dhalsim. His people are called Sa Ah Men in the film. Has fantastic stretchy powers, and overacts with the Indian guru-ness. Simon Yam is usually an action star, and often costars with Chingmy Yau.
Lung (Aaron Kwok Fu-Sing) – Lung is the representation of the character known as Ryu, he stays behind in 2043 during the mission because the Captain married his sister. Therefore, he’s not in the film much. His Special weapon/move is marrying relatives of important people. Aaron Kwok was a big pop star in Hong Kong in the 90’s, his popularity had dwindled for much of the new millennium but seems to be hitting an upswing recently. There was a scandal about a “sex tape” that someone tried to blackmail him with, he won the case and the tape is sealed, supposedly it is just him touching a girl’s thighs, but you never know. One of the Four Heavenly Kings.

The villains (Future Rascals):

General (Ken Lo Wai-Kwong) – is the representation of the character known as M. Bison in the US and Vega in Japan. He is the super evil leader of the Future Rascals, and his trial is set to be judged by Yu Ti Hung, sparking the rest of the Future Rascals to go back into the past to find Yu Ti Hung and hypnotize him to let General go. Eventually escapes and goes back into the past as well, only to be defeated by the combined Future Cops team. Speaks without moving his mouth. special weapon/move is Flaming Bison. Is a robot, and is nuked. Ken Lo was in Rush Hour.
Kent (Ekin Cheng Yee-Kin) – is the representation of the character known as Ken, he is the most honorable of the Future Rascals. Armed with rejuvenate serum, and special weapon/move is Swaying Fist. Ekin Cheng is in most of the Young and Dangerous films, as well as Protégé de la Rose Noire.
Thai King (Billy Chow Bei-Lei) – is the representation of the character known as Sagat. Has an eyepatch and a goatee, which all evil people have. Billy Chow is probably best known here for Fist of Legend with Jet Li.
Toyoda (William Tuan Wai Lun) – is the representation of the character known as E. Honda. I hope you caught the automotive joke. He doesn’t say or do much in the film, probably because the actor isn’t a Hong Kong superstar. In fact, I’m not 100% positive I have the actor right!

The People of 1993:

Chun Li (Chingmy Yau Suk-Ching) – Chun Li is Tai Hung’s sister, who is popular with the boys, so many that they are constantly hounding her. Special move is the whirlwind kick. Chun Li is the character all the guys play, then hit pause while she does high kicks and rotate the camera trying to get a panty shot. Chingmy Yau was a big star in the early 1990s, as she dated Wong Jing she was in many of his films, most notably Naked Killer, but hasn’t done that much since she got married to a businessman.
Chun Tai Hung/Yu Ti Hung (Dicky Cheung Wai-Kin) – Age 28 but still in school. Will become the famous judge Yu Ti Hung that the Future Rascals are looking for. Befriends the Future Cops. Becomes Akuma (Gouki in Japan), but called Ng Hung by Toyoda, and says he is Ng Kwan Yu in response. I have no idea. Dicky Cheung was a low paid movie actor until he starred in a Journey to the West TV series as Monkey King and became super-famous. He then went to Taiwan to do more TV series, which he continues to this day both there and back in Hong Kong.
Choy-Nei (Charlie Yeung Choi-Nei) – The love interest for Tai Hung. A big star in Hong Kong in the mid-90s, Charlie Yeung was previously seen here in Task Force. She retired in 1997, but went back to show business in 2004, starring in New Police Story and other films.
Kei-On (Andy Hui Chi-On) – The local school bully, with giant hair. His huge lock of hair will destroy all those who oppose him. Joins up with the Future Rascals to betray Tai Hung, only to be betrayed himself. Andy Hui is a hardworking singer who is only recently being recognized for his pop styling. One of the New Four Heavenly Kings.
Siu-Wai (Winnie Lau Siu-Wai) – Also known as Crab Angel, is Kei-On’s girl until stolen away by Broom Man. Future Cops seems to be Winnie Lau’s biggest movie roll.
Tai-Hung’s Mother Chun Tai (King-Tan Yuen) – Does the whirlwind kick like her daughter. King-Tan Yuen is in tons of films as supporting roles. Was also seen here in My Kung Fu Sweetheart and Haunted Office.
Uncle Richard Yu (Richard Ng Yiu-Hon) – Uncle Richard is Tai-Hung’s mom’s boyfriend. He can speak a few lines of English, which excites his girlfriend. (Actor Richard Yu knows more than a few lines.) He will become Green Wolf (Blanka.) Usually enters attacks while spinning in a Green Ball. His special move is Electrical discharge. Richard Ng is a famous comedian in Hong Kong who is semi-retired now.

InSite News

New RiffTrax – Eragon!

May 3, 2007By

The RiffTrax for this week will be Eragon!

eragon
I reviewed it myself this week, and it will be scary watching it again, but at least Mike and Kevin will be there with me hurling insults all the way!

InMovie News

DTV Sequels, the sequel

May 2, 2007By

Warner Premiere is making Beetlejuice 2, and more DTV fun!:

Just received a press release in the inbox from the gang at Warner Australia, indicating what some of the future Warner Premiere direct-to-video sequels may be. The one that’s going to have most doing a jig is the long-awaited “Beetlejuice” follow-up.

Beetlejuice 2
Dukes of Hazzard II
Return to House on Haunted Hill
Dennis the Menace Christmas

And check out the rumors (though they might be just as reliable as that fake Jaws 5 rumor):

Other titles likely to get the direct-to-video sequel treatment over the next couple of years include “Under Siege”; “Space Jam”; “Training Day” and “Dark Castle”.

…

Warner Premiere will produce up to 15 titles a year, the first of which, “Dukes of Hazzard II”—a continuation the storyline featured in the 2005 theatrical release—recently wrapped production and will be made available to Australian consumers on 5 September 2007. Also out in 2007 are “Return to House on Haunted Hill” on 3 October 2007, “Twisted Fortune” on 17 October 2007 and “A Dennis the Menace Christmas” on 5 December 2007.

More DTV Sequel news…

New Line is creating a bunch of urban DTV sequels
Set It Off 2
Friday 4
Undisputed 3

Many of the other New Line urban projects are still in development, including the untitled made-for-DVD Friday sequel. Its original star, Ice Cube, is attached to what is expected to be the franchise’s first straight-to-DVD edition and fourth film in the series.

New Line also is fine-tuning a script for a Set It Off sequel, which would continue the story line of the original 1996 drama about female bank robbers.

Also in the pipeline is a third installment of mixed martial arts franchise Undisputed, co-produced by Nu Image and New Line.

Hey, “urban” is just industry way of saying Black films. Friday 4 is getting Ice Cube to star because they are making a few original films as well, and snagging him means some will be from his production company.

InWTF?

Nerd Rage at its finest! Digg goes crazy

May 1, 2007By

Digg, the social site where you”digg” user-submitted stories, banned an article mentioning a certain hexadecimal key:

09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0

This key supposedly unlocks HDDVDs for use on Linux or something. The original artical is still here.

This guy posted the original article to digg, which got over 15,000 diggs before it vanished and he was banned.

The people on Digg went nutso, and suddenly were posting the number all over comments, and every story on the front page was just the numbers again:

digg1
digg2

People posting the comments were getting IP banned left and right, and comments deleted. However, the people far outnumber the few admins on digg, and they are still being overrun 7 hours later.

What is weird was I thought the code had something to do with Lost at first…

But it is fun to see Internet Rage in action! What will happen tomorrow, when no one cares anymore because of a new YouTube video? Only time will tell.

(also, the digg story about being banned wasn’t banned by digg, for some odd reason…)

Special bonus: Digg took money from HDDVD!

The founders of Digg.com – which has been rocked by an unprecedented user revolt over the release of an HD-DVD decryption code – accepted sponsorship from the organization behind HD-DVD last year.

Episodes of the DiggNation video show were sponsored by the HD DVD Promotion Group. DiggNation is produced by Revision3, a company run by Digg founders, Jay Adelson and Kevin Rose. Rose is also a co-host of the DiggNation show. The image below shows the HD DVD logo displayed at the beginning of one such episode.

During the past 24 hours, Digg administrators have apparently deleted dozens of stories which included references to the HD DVD decryption code. These included one story which appeared poised to become the most popular ever seen on Digg, with almost 16000 votes within 20 hours. Administrators have also apparently begun deleting stories criticizing their actions, and also banned numerous members – according to angry statements posted by Digg users on the site and elsewhere.

InMovie News

Bad Movie Websites update for April

April 30, 2007By

Now that I’ve gotten off my lazy butt I can tell you what is going on in the world of bad movie websites for April!

Badmovies.org gives us the Rocky Horror pseudo-sequel Shock Treatment, as well as Hundra and The Flesh Eaters

Foywonder has his April Foyeurism, THE HILLS HAVE OSMONDS, as well as regular reviews on his blog.

Yourvideostoreshelf has turned into podcast central with many new interviews with DTV/B-movie directors and writers, such as Dustin Rikert (Alien Invasion Arizona), Tibor Takács (Mansquito, The Gate), and Christine Conradt (The Rival)

FantasyFilmscapes.com has the April issue of their webzine

Weird Asia had a slow month with the only update being on the Return of the Ninjas page for Shogun’s Ninja.

Bad Cinema Diary had it’s April update as well, with 8 new movies.

Cold Fusion Video is on a Lovecraft movie binge for April

Hopefully I won’t delay so long on getting the May update put on here.

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