Erotic Karma

Erotic Karma (Review)

Erotic Karma

Erotic Karma
2013
Written by Tina Hawthorne
Directed by Austin Brooks

Erotic Karma
Your Erotic Karma ran over my erotic dogma! Just kidding! No dog gets ran over, just some jerky human being! But he then goes on a body possessing spree, so maybe he deserved it. Erotic Karma is a title that seems to have little to do with the actual plot, except maybe the vague notion of New Age philosophies that the whole soul transferring plot device may be borrowed from. But it is also similar to just random ghost stories, so who really knows? In any event, the supernatural aspect caught me a bit off guard, because Mainline Releasing is generally more grounded in reality with their plots. It was an interesting change of pace for them, but doesn’t seem to be a genre they return to with any frequency.

Erotic Karma is written by Tina Hawthorne, the possibly real person who has written a bunch of Mainline films including Obsession, Hidden Treasures, Sex Tapes, Dark Secrets, Birthday Sex, Sexy Assassins, and Naughty Reunion. Her scripts usually don’t follow the standard softcore movie plots, and even have characters discuss things like their feelings, stuff that you just don’t find in softcore movies, and there is some of that going on here as well. The story here could easily be a horror movie topic, and is basically the plot to Fallen except instead of a demon skipping bodies, it is some horny jerk. Horny jerks are the worst jerks, especially when their name rhymes with the work “jerk”, so expect a lot of jerking.

The body changing does allow several characters to flex their acting muscles, including one side character of the type that usually shows up for a one-and-done sex scene. That was probably my favorite part of the film, the various characters suddenly acting like Southern jerk.
Erotic Karma
One thing not really addressed is the same problem I have with these films whenever people are possessed by ghosts or aliens and then begin having lots of sex, which is the fact all the sex scenes become rape scenes. Not to be a killjoy, but those scenes are a killjoy to my entertainment, so maybe I do mean to be a killjoy. Maybe I do. Three people are possessed in the course of the film, their bodies used by the notorious Professor Dirk Jordan to satisfy his supernatural urges. And also to order people to get him a beer. So few films have the evil villain include people bringing him beer as part of their master plan that it was hilarious.

Alex (Kiara Diane) – A TA for Sean at the university. She is dating Mitch and is often sexually harassed by Dirk. Unaware that Sean has feelings for her or that Mitch is cheating on her.
Sean (Rocco Reed) – Either a graduate student or a lower-ranking professor at the university that teaches some Anthropology classes. Spends most of the film reading instead of teaching. Is love lorned for Alex.
Camille Landing (India Summer) – Another graduate student at the anthropology department, she’s the student who everyone seems to want. Is opposed to people murdering people in her driveway, but not enough to actually tell the police who the murderer is.
Professor Dirk Jordan (Paul Case) – The jerk professor who must have tenure or something, and is high enough ranking in the department he can order other people to teach courses. Did his thesis on zombie culture in the Caribbean, where he also did a lot of work about souls, because the zombies were mostly people who were just possessed by local shamans. Is obsessed with Camille despite her dumping him long ago, and later becomes a free-roaming spirit possessing bodies.
Mitch (Kevin Patrick) – Dating Alex but banging Camille on the side. He refuses to break up with Alex because he thinks he’s so awesome she won’t know what to do if she’s dumped.
Lisa (Tiffany Tyler) – A masseuse who becomes the possessed Mitch’s new fling, is later possessed herself by Dirk.

Erotic Karma

The Wrong Car Lifetime

The Wrong Car (Review)

The Wrong Car

aka Black Car
The Wrong Car Lifetime
2016
Written and directed by John Stimpson
The Wrong Car Lifetime
Lifetime has a long history of films explaining in graphic detail how the internet will kill you, and The Wrong Car delivers with Uber being the latest target. Not that Uber doesn’t deserve a bit of criticism, ignoring their treating their drivers like garbage, Uber has had a multitude of safety issues in the US and other countries (such as India) involving rapes and sexual assault, and The Wrong Car rips from the headlines these stories. Instead of Uber, the app is called NetCar, and our heroine is assaulted before she joins the ranks of the NetCar drivers in order to track down her attacker. It’s also a Bring It On: All or Nothing mini-reunion with Danielle Savre and Francia Raisa (sorry no Hayden Panettiere or Solange Knowles, but who needs them?) as the main characters, and Savre’s intense performance as Trudy O’Donnell carries the movie.
The Wrong Car Lifetime
Trudy is too busy studying law to do anything except study, especially since she’s trying to avoid moping over her ex. You know, I can’t tell you how many of these movies involve characters in law school who are too busy studying to have a relationship, and then immediately hit a nightmare scenario scary enough to keep you from dating forever. Trudy’s roomie Gretchen Healy (Francia Raisa) declares they are going to go out and basically drags her along.

Trudy also drops a bunch of philosophical stuff about the penal system and justice showing she is an optimist while society is more about revenge, which will of course change when she gets rapecarred and threads the needle between bringing the perpetrators to justice or maybe going Death Wish on the villains.
The Wrong Car Lifetime

Akounak Tedalat Taha Tazoughai

Akounak Tedalat Taha Tazoughai (Review)

Akounak Tedalat Taha Tazoughai

aka Rain the Color of Blue With a Little Red in It

Akounak Tedalat Taha Tazoughai
2015
Written by Christopher Kirkley and Jerome Fino
Directed by Christopher Kirkley

Akounak Tedalat Taha Tazoughai
An African version of Purple Rain? Of course I’ve got to watch it! It helps that Akounak Tedalat Taha Tazoughai (Rain the Color of Blue With a Little Red in It) turns out to be an entertaining film that is pretty unique in character, though be warned it isn’t for everyone. Akounak was the dream of Christopher Kirkley, an ex-pat from Seattle who ended up in West Africa and had a dream of exporting the sounds of the region’s unique music stylings. He has done so with a record label and has become a manager of talent, so the next logical step would be to enter the movie world, and what better choice than an unofficial remake of Purple Rain?

First, some problems. Christopher Kirkley doesn’t speak Tuareg, the local language the film was shot in. But he does speak French, and so does star Mdou Moctar, so Kirkley would explain to Moctar what each scene was supposed to be about and how it was set up, then Moctar would explain that to the other actors, and they would work through the scene. Later, Kirkley had to have the whole film translated, which ended up with a few scenes not fitting in correctly. Some of this is covered up with creative editing, some of it is easy to dismiss as a first-time filmmaker just learning the ropes, and some of it makes you go “Guh?”. As an added bonus, Tuareg doesn’t have a word for “purple”, hence the long-winded title of Akounak Tedalat Taha TazoughaiRain the Color of Blue With a Little Red in It, which is just to perfect to not keep as a title, Kirkley obviously agreeing with that sentiment.
Akounak Tedalat Taha Tazoughai
Overall, the effect is quite charming, and anyone familiar with African cinema will be right at home, there are multiple points where the setup and composition is nearly identical to the Nigerian and Ghanaian films I’ve watched, with a lot of talking around that seems loosely connected to the story at best. The Purple Rain plot being grafted on keeps the movie going forward and not mired in those talking scenes, which means we get plenty of rocking musical performances and plot drama.
Akounak Tedalat Taha Tazoughai

Dying to be Loved Lifetime

Dying to Be Loved is a Lifetime conspiracy!

Dying to be Loved Lifetime

What gas stations do to protect their bathroom keys is getting worse all the time


Lifetime returns to its roots with another Original Movie about Evil Men, in this case a boyfriend so evil that he convinces his teenage girlfriend to pretend to commit suicide with him so they can avoid him getting arrested for abusing him. Be he didn’t count on the fact that his girlfriend’s mom was a woman! Dun dun DUN! So this woman is now hot on the trail to take down the Evil Man! Go get him, mom! Dying to Be Loved (aka A Mother’s Suspicion) shows us the length a mom will go to to prove that her daughter didn’t kill herself, which I guess is a good thing to believe if you live in a Lifetime movie.

Jill Yates’ teenage daughter Emily starts dating bad boy Gary, whose violent behavior lands Emily and him in trouble. To avoid prison, Gary and Emily appear to commit a double suicide, but Jill sets out to prove that Gary has gone on the run… and has taken Emily with him.

Dying to Be Loved stars Lindsay Hartley, Paloma Kwiatkowski, Dan Payne, Jedidiah Goodacre, James Pizzinato, and Jay Brazeau. Its written by Stephen Lyons (Lone Star Struck) and directed by Paul Shapiro (Spring Break Shark Attack)

Dying to Be Loved premieres Saturday, April 16th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime

Cheerleader Murders Lifetime

Break out the pom-poms for The Cheerleader Murders on Lifetime!

Cheerleader Murders Lifetime

What happens when you don’t be aggressive, b-e aggressive!


Save the cheerleader, save the world? What if the cheerleader needs to save herself? That’s what Ellie here needs to do, thanks to a murderer running around kidnapping and killing cheerleaders. It looks like someone has a bone to pick with the bad sequels of Bring It On, so let’s hope our spirit squad leader can track down the killer. Also her dad and sister were also murdered, so of course there is going to be a connection. Probably. It’s Lifetime, something weird has to happen! Here’s hoping we got cheerleaders in full cheer regalia beating up murderers.

Ellie lives in a cursed town with a string of tragedies— the most recent being the murder of her sister and father. She hopes the darkness is behind her, but when her fellow cheerleaders Dee and Morgan are kidnapped, Ellie knows the curse is at work again. After Morgan is found dead, Ellie becomes determined to rescue Dee and expose the killer, but it may already be too late…and she may be next. As the police struggle to find a lead, Ellie begins an investigation of her own— but each step closer to the truth is a step closer to death. “

The Cheerleader Murders (formerly known as Kill Them All) stars Samantha Boscarino(Zoe Gone), Amanda Leighton(The Fosters), Hannah Kasulka(The Fosters), Chelsea Zhang(Me and Earl and the Dying Girl), Austin Lyon(Pitch Perfect 2), Tessie Santiago(The Cell 2), David Rees Snell(The Cheating Pact), Nigel Gibbs(Xtro 3: Watch the Skies), and David DeSantos (Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip) It’s directed by David Jackson (Atomic Train) and written by Matt Young (his sole credit)

Kill Them All premieres Saturday, April 9th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime

The Perfect Daughter Lifetime

The Perfect Daughter comes to an imperfect Lifetime!

THe Perfect Daughter Lifetime

I’ll teach you to not be perpetually 8 years old!


What would you do if you found out your daughter got drunk one night? If you said overreact and emotionally abuse/abandon her to the point where she becomes easy prey for sleazy high school guys, then you might be the father from The Perfect Daughter! Will dad learn in time that being a jerk who just screams all the time is dumb? Or will his daughter pay the price for his idiocy?

Finding his daughter confused and drunk one night, Martin overreacts and puts a wedge between their once idyllic relationship at a time when she’ll need him the most.

The Perfect Daughter stars Brady Smith(Young Adult), Sadie Calvano(J. Edgar), Reiley McClendon(Alien Outpost), Johann Urb(Resident Evil: Retribution), Blaine Saunders(True Blood), and Meredith Salenger(The Journey of Natty Gann) It’s directed by Brian Herzlinger (Finding Normal) and written by Brian McAuley (Nanny Cam). That’s TWO Brians for the price of one!

The Perfect Daughter premieres Saturday, March 26th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime