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Dwarf Sorcerer
InMovie Reviews, Ugly

The Dwarf Sorcerer (Review)

May 1, 2011By

The Dwarf Sorcerer

aka Magic Kid

1974HKMDB Link
Directed by Yu Hon-Cheung
Dwarf Sorcerer
Hey, look, it’s ANOTHER Taiwanese film about a boy whose parents are murdered/mom captured and he is rescued and taught kung fu in a weekend and then he fights for revenge against a bunch of demons and he can fly and do all sorts of crazy crap. It’s almost as if we have seen this before. 9 billion times.
I think it IS the same story as Flyer of Young Prodigal, the names are the same (or same as they can be with horrible subtitle translations) and the story is the same. It is the same story, no question, it is just achieved in a different way. It even has similar groovy music. Now, Dwarf Sorcerer/Magic Kid was first, coming out in 1974 (or 1969 if you believe a few other websites), but does that mean it was the best? Keep in mind this is like being the best pile of dog poo.

Director Yu Hon-Cheung helmed such genre films as Taiwanese kaiju film Monster from the Sea, Pearl Cheung Ling’s Burning of the Red Lotus Monastery, something called Mysterious Snake Women that I hope is awesome if I ever find it, and the somewhat common kung fu flick Revenge of the Shaolin Kid.
Dwarf Sorcerer

So the images look terrifying, because of the poor quality of the print. But this is the only way to see Dwarf Sorcerer at this time, so you got to get used to it. And this still looks better than some prints I’ve seen of new films made by independent filmmakers, who somehow can make even digital film look like it was dragged behind a bus and set on fire. This print is probably just a VHS dub of a VCD that got transferred to DVD. That’s my theory, anyway.

Buckle up, as this film is rare and ridiculous, we’ll be going in depth and this will be pretty long. Maybe you should go pee first so you don’t have to get up in the middle of reading. We’ll wait. Doo–doo–doo–
Dwarf Sorcerer

You back? Good! I hope you washed your hands! Hygienic or not, here we go!

Siao-Lung (???) – Siao-Lung is a Annoying Flying Kid, making this an Annoying Flying Kid movie! NOOOoooooOooOOooOOOoo!!!! Sadly, Siao-Lung doesn’t die the horrible death he deserves. I have no clue who this kid is played by.
In-Hwa (???) – Siao-Lung’s mom gets locked up. Her crime? Being a mom! Also not being a willing participant in Evil Bad Guy’s House o’ Rape.
Sifu (Cheung Kwong-Chiu) – Do most Sifus get their students by rescuing them via giant birds? Because that’s what we got here. Cheung Kwong-Chiu is also in The Lady Musketeer, The Angel Strikes Again, 13 Worms, Bruce, Kung Fu Girls, The Legend of Mother Goddess, and the awesomely named Spooky Kookies.
Evil Bad Guy (???) – Not just bad, evil bad! That’s even badder than bad. It’s badder than the Power Glove. Evil Bad Guy kidnaps women, forcing them to a life of rape and servitude. He’s also down with polyamory–for himself only! Even look at another guy while dating Evil Bad Guy and you die. Funny, he also looks like everyone I’ve meet who is into polyamory. Evil Bad Guy’s magic and gang is brought down by a tiny kid.
Little Girl (???) – Another of Sifu’s students who follows Siao-Lung and thus gets into trouble. Siao-Lung treats her like crap, meaning he probably has a crush on her. Or is a jerk. Probably a jerk.
Happy Gorilla Family (???) – The Happy Gorilla Family are the best gorillas ever! They show up, started off evil as Dad tries to kill Siao-Lung (getting my good side!) but before Siao-Lung kills him, Mom runs by to beg for the life of her husband. Then they help Siao-Lung at the end, even suffering horrible injuries when they’re blown up. The Happy Gorilla Family us the Dwarf Sorcerer Theme as their theme song, and it fits goofy monkeys better than some annoying kid. The Happy Gorilla Family might also be known as The Alp.
Karth Devil (???) – Karth Devil is a yellow ape monster thing that shoots gas from his armpits and teleports and does all sorts of other nasty things. Because he’s evil. Can turn into a tree, a pile of hair, and into flowers. Because he’s evil.

Dwarf Sorcerer

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

InMovie News

Rina Takeda in live action Avec Punch

April 29, 2011By

Rina Takeda put up a photo on Twitter of the poster for the live action Avec Punch film that she’s in. Avec Punch is some sort of boxing manga that I’ve never heard of before. I guess you box with a female partner and must hold hands, then use your one free fist to punch the other couple. It’s the best first date ever!

So here is a trailer:

Exciting, huh?

Yeah, looks average.

InMovie News

Mega Spider

April 28, 2011By

Well, I guess everything is gonna get Mega-ed. Mega Shark. Megaconda. Megaquake. Megamind. And now Mega Spider. Surprisingly, NOT an Asylum production, but from Epic Pictures Group. No matter, I bet it will be on SyFy Channel anyway.

A 50 feet tall alien spider escapes from a military lab and rampage the city of Detroit. When a massive military strike fails, it is up to a team of scientists and one clever exterminator to kill the creature before the city is destroyed.

Source

InMovie News

Atlas Crapped

April 27, 2011By

The Free Market just went all John Galt on Atlas Shrugged Part 1 (of 3), preventing the two sequels from being made.

Luckily, the producer is a man and accepts that decision…just kidding! He’s a big baby like all Libertarians and is whining about “critics”!

“Critics, you won,” said John Aglialoro, the businessman who spent 18 years and more than $20 million of his own money to make, distribute and market “Atlas Shrugged: Part 1,” which covers the first third of Rand’s dystopian novel. “I’m having deep second thoughts on why I should do Part 2.”
…
“The New York Times gave us the most hateful review of all,” said Aglialoro, who also has a writing credit on the movie. “They didn’t cover it.”

No, wait, he’s Going Galt from making Ayn Rand films!
“Why should I put up all of that money if the critics are coming in like lemmings?” Aglialoro said. “I’ll make my money back and I’ll make a profit, but do I wanna go and do two? Maybe I just wanna see my grandkids and go on strike.”

Can’t even keep a consistent excuse during one simple interview. If you want to see Atlas Shrugged Part 1, I’m sure some conservative astroturf organization will buy like a million dvds to give away free and you can see it then.

But first…
he has a dramatic script called “Poker Room” in development. “Maybe the critics will be kinder to that one,” he said.

I can’t wait. To not watch that, either.

InMovie Reviews, Podcasts

Infernal Brains Podcast – Episode 05 – Turkish Pop Cinema Part 2

April 26, 2011By

The Infernal Brains are still around, and thanks to this new episode I have an excuse to throw up the graphics I threw together on Inkscape (click for huge):

In this episode, Tars and Todd finish discussing a mishmash of Turkish Cinema, including a spot where we see double – Four Krustys! Also Two Turkish Phantoms, two other Turkish heroes with Iron in their name, and a devil who does not possess the trait of death.

Download the mp3 (right click, save as)

Watch in slideshow form:

Subscribe to the Infernal Brains on YouTube!

Click the graphic for Podcast Feed:

Click here for iTunes Feed

Movies discussed include:
Kizil Maske
Kizil Maske
Iron Fist The Giants are Coming
Iron Claw the Pirate
Deathless Devil

Prior Infernal Brains:
Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 1
Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 2
Polly Shang Kuan
Turkish Pop Cinema Part 1

Inkscape graphics via OpenClipArt

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Kung Fu Hustle
InGood, Movie Reviews

Hustle and Flow – Human Nature and Kung Fu Hustle

April 24, 2011By

Hustle and Flow – Human Nature and Kung Fu Hustle

A review of Kung Fu Hustle aka Gong Fu

Fig. 1 – Title credit for Kung Fu Hustle

2004
Directed by Stephen Chow Sing-Chi
Action Directors Yuen Woo-Ping and Sammo Hung Kam-Bo

Fig. 2 – Axe Gang members dance in a downward triangle representing their subscribing to baser emotions

Abstract

Gong Fu (hereafter Kung Fu Hustle), is a perfect representation of human nature, complete with characters representing the ego, the super-ego, and the id. The setting and characters are mired in the secret world of Jiang Hu. Characters grow and evolve through the film, throwing off their layers of subterfuge and revealing their true selves.

Fig. 3 – Pig Sty Alley

Introduction

As the opening credits of Kung Fu Hustle play, a butterfly flutters through a canyon that is a winding, twisting maze. A pullback reveals the canyon forms the characters of the title of the film, Gong Fu/Kung Fu Hustle. The butterfly’s presence foreshadows the final act, subconsciously readying the viewers for the change they will see. The canyon walls becoming the title let the viewers know that everything we need to see is there, we just have to look in the proper way.

Kung Fu Hustle is a martial arts comedy. At time the action becomes deliberately cartoony and over the top, those instances serving both comedic elements and further exaggerating the underlying role of the nature of humanity. Kung Fu Hustle‘s cartoonishness comes partially from it being among the last of the mo lei tau films, Stephen Chow growing as an artist and expanding his films’ reach to use things beyond sheer ridiculousness to get points across.

Fig. 4 – Cartoonish violence stylizes Landlord’s cover of having no martial skills

Characters:

Sing (Stephen Chow Sing-Chi) – Sing is the protaganist who goes through a standard protaganist’s journey. He begins down on his luck and with major obstacles in life, only to overcome the odds and save the day as the Chosen One.
Sing’s Friend (Lam Tze-Chung) – Sing has a sidekick who follows him on his schemes. His friend is another good hearted person who can’t seem to do anything evil despite his numerous attempts.
Landlady (Yuen Qiu) – Owner of the Pig Sty Alley complex and secret martial arts master living undercover trying to escape his past. Landlady refers to herself as “The Little Dragon Maiden” in Cantonese, a character from Jin Yong’s Condor Trilogy of books.
Landlord (Yuen Wah) – Owner of the Pig Sty Alley complex and secret martial arts master living undercover trying to escape his past. Landlord refers to himself as “Yang Guo” in Cantonese, a character from Jin Yong’s Condor Trilogy of books.
Axe Gang (Danny Chan Kwok-Kwan, Tenky Tin Kai-Man, Lam Suet, and numerous others) – The Axe Gang controls the underworld of the city. They dress almost as sharp as the blades of their axes.
The Beast (Bruce Leung Siu-Lung) – The Beast takes his Chinese name – Dark God of the Fire Clouds – from books written by pulp novelist Liu Can Yang.
Fig. 5 – Sing traumatizes children subconsciously repeating his own tragic life-altering childhood
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