Korean Terminator

aka 터미네이터와 형사 곰팽이

1992
Directed by ???

Terminator Beyond Thunderdome!

It’s time once again for a Korean kiddie comedy that will make you beg for a bullet to the brain to ease the pain. Korean Terminator is just as awful as you think a kids Terminator film would be. Like most of these Korean children’s films, there is a ridiculous fat guy who is supposed to be comedic. We saw one in Super Batman & Mazinger V, and there is one here. Though I am not 100% sure, I believe these are the spawn of D-War director Shim Hyung-rae’s character from the Wuroimae films, which were popular enough many of these similar films ganked from them just as much as these Korean kiddie films ganked from Japan and America. There are also often characters with some random stylized anime characteristics, most notably a red nose or drawn on freckles or eyebrows, which I think is an artifact of many of these films having their subjects stolen from anime/manga properties. Though other films will be a mix of live-action and cartoons, Korean Terminator is 100% live-action, so the anime people don’t really seem to belong and make the film much more surreal than it should be.

Lady, you ask me about my salvation again, and I’ll Terminate you!

It looks like you can thank Jademan Comics Co. for this travesty, as that is the only thing in English in the “FBI” warning before the picture. Which is sort of funny because of the blatant copyright infringement going on in the actual movie. But do not steal this movie that steals so much from so many! If you are a time travel fan, you will be sad to know there is no time travel in this Terminator! There is only a guy who is turned into a Terminator by a crazy scientist who does stuff like that. Every once in a while there is an action sequence befitting a Korean children’s film, the rest of the time is mostly unfunny comedy. But we won’t get anywhere without knowing who we’re facing! I have no clue who any of the actors are or who even directed this. It was a minor miracle finding the Korean name of this film, which doesn’t seem to have an English translation beyond Korean Terminator (which is only the first part of the actual title!) There is also at least one other Korean Terminator ripoff film made around the same time, with a completely different cast.

The true story of Real Doll vaginas!

Terminator (???) – Terminator was just your average guy who like Paula Abdul until he’s murdered by goons, then he’s rebuilt into Terminator. The pre-Terminator guy doesn’t exist long enough to even get a character name! He spends most of the film wandering around until commanded to be good by Professor. Professor (???) – Professor has a device the bad guys want. He also rebuilds people into cyborgs instead of taking them to the hospital. Never get a paper cut near Professor, or you will have robot arms before you can scream! Photographer Girl (???) – A lady photographer who was going to talk to Professor right before he was kidnapped. Gets involved in the attempts to rescue him and stop the bad guys. Yeong (???) – A goofy cop who spends most of his screen time making ugly faces and falling over himself. It’s hard to tell some times who is more annoying, Yeong or the Fat Evil Sibling! The Evil Siblings (??? and ???) – The most annoying bad guys ever! The fat guy in the cowboy hat stutters and spends most of the film talking tough and then getting blown over by a gentle breeze. His sister is the whiniest woman in the world. Thankfully they both die.

I won’t be back! *SOB!*