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Batbabe

Batbabe: The Dark Nightie (Review)

Batbabe: The Dark Nightie


2009
Written by John Bacchus and Michael Raso
Directed by John Bacchus


Seduction Cinema strikes again, putting out two super-hero themed erotic parodies to cash in on the summer of the super-hero, the Iron Man parody The Insatiable IronBabe was the other. We’re focusing on Batbabe: The Dark Nightie this time out, because that’s the one we have a copy of!

One of the least erotic erotic movies I have ever seen, it is basically a parody film with naked chicks and dildos. Although I don’t think anyone was going into this expecting high art, there were probably some late night watchers who were expecting it to be a bit sexy. But Batbabe is not the type of softcore film you would be watching with your girlfriend or wife, it’s more of the film you watch alone, or with a group of guys. It does have plenty of lame jokes, and the entire film is just one long filthy joke. And there is an audience for that, so they get what they want. I believe there is a place in the world for films like Batbabe, and will not disparage the people who would watch it. Heck, we enjoyed Seduction Cinema’s Kinky Kong, but were less impressed with their outings Bikini Girls on Dinosaur Planet, Vampire Vixens, and That 70′s Girl.

One can probably go on a long essay about turning a dark film such as The Dark Knight into a softcore comedy, with the many themes or elements borrowed, missing, or twisted. But this will not be such an essay, because that essay would probably be boring and focus too much on The Dark Knight, a film that’s been analyzed to death by internet message boards.

Batbabe/Wendy Wayne (Darian Caine) – Wendy Wayne is a stripper by day and Batbabe by night. Which probably loses her all the big bucks as the high-paying customers are at night. Crime-fighting doesn’t pay. Darian Caine is also in the reviewed Kinky Kong and Vampire Vixens.
Luscious Foxx (Smoke Williams) – Batbabe’s Lucius is her strip club manager Luscious, but he still gives her cool gadgets and sage advice.
The Jerker (Rob Mandara) – The Jerker likes to jerk. His wang. This appears to be Rob Mandara’s only role to date.
DA Henrietta Bent (Molly Heartbreaker) – Bent bends both ways and flips a coin to see who is on top! Molly Heartbreaker is easily recognizable in any sex scene due to the flames tattooed on her boobs. Had a small role in Kinky Kong, and who could forget her role in Topless Tapioca Wrestling?
Commissioner Boredom (John Paul Fedele as Clancy Fitzsimmons) – When there is a big case in Bacchum City, you can be assured Commissioner Boredom knows about it and still has no trouble going to sleep instead of doing anything!

Alyas Batman en Robin

Alyas Batman en Robin (Review)

Alyas Batman en Robin


1993
Directed by Tony Y. Reyes
Written by Joey de Leon and Tony Y. Reyes

Alyas Batman en Robin
The Philippines returns to prove nobody does Batman like they do! Batman continues to be a campy caped crusader, and all the familiar elements are here – the classic villains, evil doing, and saving the day. The stakes may be lower, but there is still wrongs to be righted. And Alyas Batman en Robin showed everymen becoming superheroes long before Mark Millar stole it for Kick-Ass. I’m on to you, Millar!
Alyas Batman en Robin
If you remember the overview of the Filipino Batman films I did at the beginning of the James Batman review, then you’ll remember Alyas Batman en Robin from 1993 is the most recent. So here it is! Part musical, part campy, part guys beating up people, and part a love story, Alyas Batman en Robin tries to be a lot of things. Let’s find out if it succeeds…
Alyas Batman en Robin
But first, the Roll Call!

Kuya (Joey de Leon) – Kuya is the closest I could figure for a name for his character, though that’s just the way they sound like they’re saying the word for big brother in Tagalog (which is Kuya) Kuya defends Kevin from his tormentors, but also doesn’t really want to get involved in crime fighting. Kevin forces his hand, so he reluctantly joins Kevin and becomes…
Batman (Joey de Leon) – Batman fights the villains and hits on the hot journalism chicks. Because that’s what Superma– I mean, Batman does! Joey de Leon started his career as a radio dj, which evolved to a comedy career with the trio Tito, Vic and Joey, getting parts in television and movies. By the 1980s, he was a solo star in comedies and headlining sitcoms. He continues to do host work on television, and has reignited his singing career in recent years.
Kevin (Keempee de Leon) – Kevin is the hottest guy at school that the girls all mob over, but he has his eyes on justice! Thus, he cons his older brother into joining him as dressing up as a superhero and fighting evil, becoming…
Robin (Keempee de Leon) – It’s good Kevin became Robin, because he was obsessed with him! Joseph Joakim “Keempee” de Leon is the son of Joey de Leon and was the one-time teen idol of the Philippines. He got into drugs and sought treatment in 1993 as this film was tearing up the Filipino box office. That’s also where he became very involved in missionary work. He returned to acting in 1994, and appears in movies and television. His haircut during the 1990s was called the Keempee and has become a sign of the era much as big feathered hair lets us Americans know it’s the 1980s.
Jocson (Rene Requiestas) – Jocson is Kevin’s bitter friend, who when he’s forced to join his Uncle Paeng’s gang, decides to be the best villain ever and becomes…..
Joker (Rene Requiestas) – Renato “Rene” Requiestas was a comedian noted for his emaciated look, specialized in sidekick roles. He was Cheetae in the three Starzan films, and was also in Sheman: Mistress of the Universe. He sadly died of tuberculosis shortly after this film was finished in 1993 at the age of 36.
Uncle Paeng (Panchito) – After recruiting his nephew into his criminal organization, Uncle Paeng then follows his nephew’s lead and becomes a super villain himself, the…
Paenguin (Panchito) – Paenguin is the pun name for Penguin, who dresses as Penguin and leads the gang on their various bank robbing activities. As there are practically no police in the city, this gang is free to run wild unless Batman and Robin stop them. Born Alfonso D. Tagle, Sr., Panchito was best friends with fellow comedian Dolphy, meeting him when they were both starting out their careers as traveling entertainers in the Japanese-occupied Philippines during World War 2. By the 1960s, they were constantly paired in a string of comedy films. Panchito suffered a stroke in 1995, and he passed on a month later.
Angelique Legarda (Dawn Zulueta) – Gotham Daily Star reporter who is assigned to the crime beat, gets involved in the Batman and Robin story, and even becomes Batman’s love interest.
Vina (Vina Morales) – Vina is a schoolgirl who crushes on Kevin, to the dismay of Jocson. At one point actress Vina Morales dated Keempee, it might have been during this movie being made.
Catwoman (Almira Muhlach) – The Catwoman leads an all-girl gang and is recruited by Paenguin and Joker to add some muscle to their group after all their crew quits due to low pay. She changes costumes often, but is captured by Batman halfway through the film and is never seen again. Almira Muhlach married basketball star Bong Alvarez and has had a rocky relationship due to his rage issues. Her half-brother is actor Aga Muhlach.

Alyas Batman en Robin

El Attaba Gazaz (Review)

El Attaba Gazaz

aka Glass Threshold

1969
Directed by Niazi Mustafa

Egyptian comedy films date back to at least 1919’s Madam Lolita, with popular early comedians in the silent era being Ali al-Kassar and Nagib al-Rihani. Both had roots in the local improv theater scene (called al-masrah al-murtajal) and most of the story was just goofball antics around a loose plot. Rihani was fond of stories involving class displacement, Salama Fi Khayr (Salama is Fine) featured an errand boy mistaken for a sultan. Rihani died in 1949, and by the late 1940s Egyptian comedy had shifted to musical comedies.

Another important name in Egyptian comedy is Ismail Yasin, who made his film debut in 1939. His exaggerated physical comedy propelled him to fame, and by the 1950s his name was used in the titles of the films he starred in, such as Ismail Yasin in the Army (1955) or Ismail Yasin in the Wax Museum (1955). Some of his films were outright copies of Abbot and Costello (Haram Alek aka Ismail Yasin Meets Frankenstein (1954)) and he starred in what is arguably the first Egyptian scifi film, A Trip to the Moon Many of Yasin’s works were scripted by his mentor, Abo El Seoud El Ebiary, who was said to have written over 500 films, examples being al-Zawja Raqam 13 aka Wife No. 13 (1962) and Mirati Mudir ‘Am aka My Wife is a General Director (1966),

1963’s A’ilat Zizi (Zizi’s Family) is a standard generic romantic comedy featuring an actress trying to convince a director to get her a role in his film. She doesn’t get the part, but does win his heart. And that would probably be the tagline in America. Fatin Abd al-Wahhab directed, and it starred Suad Husni and Fouad el-Mohandes, who is important because he stars in this film. Also starring in this film is el-Mohandes’s then-wife, Shwikar, and they worked together in many comedic films covering several genres including westerns and gangster films.

By the 1970s, Egyptian cinema was on a decline due to increased government control, and comedic films became one of the few ways to speak out. But that is a tale for another movie review’s infodump. Some of the artists and movie names above you might see spelled different ways thanks to the liberal translation methods of Arabic to English.

Fouad el-Mohandes (فؤاد المهندس aka Fuad al-Muhandis) was born September 7, 1924. After making a name in the theater world, he entered motion pictures in 1954. His most famous role is in Futin Abd Al Wahhab’s Aa’ilat Zizi (Zizi’s Family), then el-Mohandes went on to star in a series of films with his second wife, Shwikar, including Akhtar Ragul Fil Aalam (The Most Dangerous Man In The World), Ard El Nifaq (Land of Hypocrisy), and Sayedaty Al Jamila (My Fair Lady). Yes, that is an Arabic My Fair Lady. By the 1970s, el-Mohandes had returned to supporting roles, and he focused more on the theater. He formed his own troupe in Zamalek called the Fouad El-Mohandes Theater. He died in September 2006 at age 82

Shwikar (شويكار‎ aka Shweikar or Showekar) was born November 24, 1936 and began acting in the Egyptian city of Alexandria before being discovered and working in Cairo. After beginning in dramatic roles, she eventually moved to more comedic roles and teamed with her second husband Fouad el-Mohandes for a series of films in the 1960s.

El Attaba Gazaz is the beginning of our Batmania! series, where we look at Batman-ish films from around the world. Why is El Attaba Gazaz in this series? Because one of the characters dresses up as a Batman inspired character during a musical number, and there is more Batman costume hijinks later in the film. Sadly, it isn’t a masked hero film, but it is as close as we can get from Egypt. When I first found out about this film, I freaked the heck out trying to find out what its name was, as the name wasn’t apparent. After some prime rib Googling, I figured out the title and ordered a disk off of eBay. It arrived, complete with a bonus greasy thumbprint on the DVD. And the store misspelled my name so badly I did not think it would be humanly possible to get it so wrong. But they also somehow turned part of it into “Imam” so now I am a religious leader in the world of Islam. So expect some random jihads by the end of the week.

El Attaba Gazaz is filled with the standard spy film joke tropes…communication devices in all sorts of random objects, secret doors, disguises, fake deaths, identical strangers, night clubs, hypnosis, goons with hooks for hands, goons with eyepatches, and turncoats. Technically, the film looks ambitious and manages to keep some of its more bigger scope images in the context of musical numbers, giving the film a charming edge. But the boom mike fairly obvious is many scenes. And the cheap Egyptian DVD doesn’t have subtitles, but here at TarsTarkas.NET, we don’t need no stinking subtitles. The character names are guesses based on my limited Arabic speaking ability.

Egyptian films feature songs, in case you were wondering. Like a lot of older foreign films, much action takes place in nightclubs. This can been seen in American films in the 30s-40s, but by the 1950s television had taken over the land and America had become the land of couch potatoes. The potatoization of Egypt and Turkey happened at some time in the 1970s, thus the large amount of nightclubs still in movies in the late 1960s.

Abdelhafeez (Fouad El-Mohandess) – Abdelhafeez is just your average dude who looks like a mean megaspy and gets involved in a bunch of shenanigans and hijinks. He ends up taking down the spy ring and getting the girl despite not knowing what is going on most of the time. Abdelhafeez gets Hulk-like angry when he hears a certain tune we’ve dubbed the Angry Song.
Shwikar (Shwikar) – We’ll just call her character Shwikar because I couldn’t figure out her name. She’s the featured act at the nightclub that the spy ring uses for cover, and also sort of the boss Max’s girl. But Max uses her to seduce other agents, leading her to fall for nice guy Abdelhafeez.
Max (Fouad El-Mohandess) – Max is an evil spy who even the evil spy ring doesn’t like. He first shows up as a bald guy, but he’s really not. Most of the film he’s believed dead, though some characters think he’s alive when they see his lookalike Abdelhafeez.
Abbas (???) – Boss of the spy ring, hates Max and wants him dead, but things spiral out of his control. Trying to sell some secret documents. His goons include a female hypnotist/magician, Azziza the one-eyed goon, and Raheem the goon with a hook hand.
The Cop (???) – The Cop tries to use Abdelhafeez to take down the spy ring, but don’t tell anyone he’s secretly the evil evil spy Scipola who is just out to steal secret documents for himself.

Camp

Camp (Review)

Camp


2008
Directed by Abdel-Aziz Hashad
Written by Hytham Wahid


Egypt has a rich cinematic history that crumbled away in the early 1970s due to the nationalization of the film industry (which began in the mid-60s) and the cinema entered a period of decay that produced few quality films. There has been a small resurgence in the past few years as a number of indie directors spring up, revitalizing some of the magic of the Golden Age. As Camp is the product of a first time director who is considered part of the new wave of filmmaking, we’re going to skip the history lessons and jump into this modern Egyptian film.

Camp is a slasher film, and it is true to its slasher film roots in that a whole group of young people are ruthlessly slaughtered by a masked killer. It follows a lot of US slasher film tropes, from the killer popping up from all over the place to the killer killing people without being noticed. And we can’t have a horror movie if women don’t fall down while running from a killer. Camp is so similar to the American films it imitates, it actually detracts from the film, making it less of an Egyptian film and more of a slasher film similar to what you would find in any direct to DVD horror section. The kills are not particularly innovative and the film seems to exist just to show that Egypt can make films just as good as the US. This is director Abdel-Aziz Hashad’s first film, but he has gone on to make several more.

It is obvious that writer Hytham Wahid is a big horror buff. In interviews (sadly, the interview link disappeared after the 2011 Egyptian revolution) Wahid refutes claims that this is the first Egyptian horror film, mentioning other titles such as Yassin Ismail Yassin and Mohamed Shebl’s 1983 film Anyab (Fangs) starring singers Ahmed Adaweya and Aly El-Haggar as bloodsucking vampires, and 2006’s Ouija. Wahid talks a lot about the suspense of Camp, he seems to be less about the kills and more about the buildup. At TarsTarkas.NET, we don’t need no stinking subtitles, but they might have helped in picking up some of the suspense. I did have a good time trying to guess who the killer was, and I picked wrong.

Preppy Guy (Ayman Refai) – The main male character, as he spends the most time on camera. Most of his time on camera is in either a sweater or a racing uniform. Who wears a racing uniform on vacation? Ayman Refai (or Ayman El Refaey) is a singer in Egypt.
Frosted Hair (Hani Salama) – Frosted Hair is a ladies man. To import that fact on us, various female characters give him gazes throughout the film, of love, hate, or disgust. Hani Salama (sometimes Hani San’e Allah) also starred in the Egyptian movie Ouija.
Yamin (Mohamed El-Khola’y) – Yamin is so cool, he’s ice cold. Yamin is also mourning a dead girlfriend named Sheki, who died shortly after the flashback in the beginning and she comes to speak to him as a ghost later. Mohamed El-Khola’y also starred in the Egyptian movie Ouija.
Kevin (???) – Kevin is the nerdy guy who wears a kung fu shirt at some point, and carries around a gorilla mask. Because, who doesn’t? I couldn’t figure out who played him, but suspect the actor’s name is Mohammed Atef.
Nancy (Yasmine Gamal) – Preppy Guy’s girlfriend, and that’s about all the characterization she gets until she cheats on him and then is quickly killed by The Killer.
Selene (Amira Hani) – Selene spends most of her time being disapproving of the others, watching over her younger sister that she brought along for some reason, and acting all emo. Amira Hani acted in the TV series El Amma Nour, but of course you were aware of that fact.
Yasmin (Reem Helal) – At time it sounds like they’re calling her Yassanem, but as that isn’t a real name we went with Yasmin. Reem Helal was first runner-up at the Miss Egypt 2006, this is Reem Helal’s first film role.
The Killer (It is a mystery) – He’s a killer who kills people. Which one of the characters is this guy? Watch the film and find out! Or PayPal me $10 and I’ll tell you.

Insee Daeng

Insee Daeng (Review)

Insee Daeng

aka Red Eagle

2010
Directed by Wisit Sasanatieng

Insee Daeng is a tragedy. Because it sucks, not because sad things happen in the film. It’s just terrible. An action flick with no heart, things just happen, you don’t care about any of the characters. It’s too busy trying to look cool to be cool. Insee Daeng is forcing me to rewrite my long-standing rule that The Matrix ruined cinema. The Matrix is so 1999. This is a new decade, and there is a new film that will cast a shadow over terrible action flicks for the next ten years as they attempt to emulate, but fail to duplicate the story and characterizations that made the film great beyond the effects. That is The Dark Knight, who shines over Insee Daeng like a batsymbol over some city with a hero who dresses as a bat in it.

Did we really need a brooding Insee Daeng? Wasn’t part of the reason we loved him because he was so jolly as he was blowing away bad guys? Mitr Chaibancha had presence, he would never be hanging out in an ice room feeling sorry for himself. He’d be so cool any room he entered became an ice room, and he’s so hot the ice would instantly melt. The freezing/melting ice is the Quantum Mitr Factor. It is an impossible standard that we can’t expect Insee Daeng to meet with its Insee Daeng, but it doesn’t even try.


Rome Rittikrai (Ananda Everingham) – Rome Rittikrai is just your average former special forces veteren who became a secret vigilante hero to clean up his country. Instead of being a lovable drunk like old school Rome, he’s a morphine addict thanks to a bullet in his brain
Insee Daeng (Ananda Everingham) – He’s Red Eagle, and that’s red enough for me!
Vasana Tienpradap (Yarinda Bunnag) – Vasana has a doctorate in geology and comes from a rich family, but devotes her time to helping those in need. She is the ex-fiancee of Prime Minister Direk Damrongprapa, and current love interest for Insee Daeng/Rome. Yarinda Bunnag is on Twitter and her sister makes cooking YouTube videos!
Black Devil (???) – It is a mystery who he is. A mystery you will solve before he even appears in the film. He isn’t Victor von Doom, so cut out that thinking right now!
Detective Chart Wuttikrai (Wannasingh Prasertkul) – He vows he’s gonna catch Insee Daeng, and he does…for like 1/8th of a second!
Chantaranantukam Singh (Jonathan Hallman) – Chart’s new partner is the strong silent type who also does heroic stuff to save kids. And he has to listen to Chart blather on all day long.
Matulee (various) – These guys are the secret society that decide what brand of toilet paper you use. Single-ply for you! Also they hate Insee Daeng.

Insee Payong

Insee Payong (Review)

Insee Payong

aka Proud Eagle

1986
Directed by ???

By the 1980s and 90s, Thai film had entered a funk of low budget action fare, uninspiring plots, and studio bosses who feuded with each other, hampering the efforts of the few rays of light. It is no surprise that in the midst of all the random action films, someone would try to capitalize on the awesome action films of the 1960s and break out an Insee Daeng film. But what to do? Mitr Chaibancha is long dead. None of the new action stars had his kind of swagger. Nor could you hit them on their burner, prepaid wireless. The bigger money (as far as I can tell) was with female action stars. Thus, Insee Daeng got chick-ified!

Thai action queen Jarunee Suksawat became Rome’s long-overseas daughter, who takes up the Insee Daeng mantle to defeat and evil gang of evil guys who are doing something evil. I’m not quite sure what, but it’s evil. Evil, I tell you! Don’t worry, fellow 80s action hero Sorrapong Chatree is along for the ride, and we even have a secondary female character, a tough cop played by an actress that I sadly do not know the name of. All the violence you know and love is back, along with some other tropes such as the costume switcheroo, an evil Insee Daeng, the cops getting into huge gunfights, Insee Daeng’s real persona being friends with many cops, and Insee Daeng killing scores of people.

Jarunee Suksawat was one of the action queens of the 1980s (another is Suriwan Suriyong, two of whose films show up in the Catman films) Jarunee was dubbed an action queen despite not having the proper training (which she will readily admit!) but ended up starring in scores of action films over the years. Eventually, Thai cinema became even less profitable thanks to television and the aforementioned feuding studio bosses, leading to less movie roles. Combine this with Jarunee being sued by someone for slander, who did nothing but travel around Thailand suing her in every province until he died, causing her to waste her time defending herself constantly, and it was time for a break from film that lasted for years, until she returned recently to television dramas and shows up in the film Queens of Langkasuka.

What we also have is another Thai VCD encoded so awesomely it makes VLC kick out lots of random extra video screens that do nothing but will kill the program if I close them instead of minimizing them. Weird, but a habit of some of the shoddy VCDs (Whoever puts out the Dara Singh VCDs is also guilty of this!) My favorite part is when the end of disc one glitches and the sound gets an echo effect that doesn’t go away for ten minutes. It makes everyone sound like aliens from V (the original, not the awful remake.)

The score is now synthesizer stuff or just outright stolen (possible the synthesizer stuff is also stolen and I just don’t recognize it.) I’ll point out when the Battle of Hoth theme is used down below. I’m a little lost as the only problems with the print is overbled colors and it doesn’t look like it was dragged through a pack of wolverines on crack. But I think I can get used to it! Once again, we don’t need no stinking subtitles! For more Insee Daeng information, please see our reviews of Awasan Insee Daeng, Jao Insee, and Insee Thong.

The Girl (Jarunee Suksawat) – I don’t know her character name, so I’ll just call her Jarunee. Returns from overseas and takes up a job at the police station. Also takes up the mantle of her father, becoming…
Insee Daeng (Jarunee Suksawat) – Yes, a female Insee Daeng shows up exactly when Jarunee returns to Thailand. But that’s not suspicious at all. This Insee Daeng murders everyone who is evil with poison darts. There is more dart action in Insee Payong than in Darts, the Movie. Which isn’t a real movie. Or maybe it is…
Cop (Sorrapong Chatree) – The main cop who also goes after bad guys and has to worry about Insee Daeng cutting in on his action. Sorrapong Chatree was like “Hey, it’s the 1980s in Thailand and you’re making a film, that means I’m in it!” and just kept coming to the set each day so the producers made him the lead actor. What else could they do?
Female Cop (Marisa Udomporn) – She’s a cop, she’s a female, she’s Female Cop! Female Cop doesn’t put up with crap from rich jerks who tear up tickets and will arrest them in front of crowds. She also hates Insee Daeng and dedicates herself to catching her. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s supposed to be Detective Chart’s daughter. But I can’t tell.