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Zone Fighter Episode 12 – Kyoujuu Kichi Chikyuu-e Shinnyuu!

Zone Fighter Episode 12 – Kyoujuu Kichi Chikyuu-e Shinnyuu!

aka Terrorbeast HQ: Invade the Earth! aka The Terror-Beast Base: Invade the Earth!

1973
March of Godzilla 2012
Written by Norio Komata
Directed by Ishiro Honda


March of Godzilla 2012 is not dead, it was just resting as a TarsTarkas.NET got crushed beneath the weight of a trio of first run flicks and a lost film about a guy in a skeleton suit. But the train has been righted back on the track, and we can continue with our journey of Zone Fighter! Perhaps now you wish the train was flipped back onto its side. Well, too bad, so sad, Zone Fighter is here and he’s fighting a giant chicken while the producers might be committing horrible animal abuse. You just can’t be sure.

Rock ’em, Sock ’em Morons!

If you are Zone Fighter unaware, feel free to drop on by the Zone Fighter splash page, you’ll be glad you did! Now let’s get on with this show, before the chicken monster Barakidon crosses the road and I have to make even lamer jokes!

Troma’s Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead sequel was ambitious

The opening shows Zone Fighter killing many of the previous monsters, his horrible murder spree seared into the eyes and memories of the Garogas. So the Garogas have the ultimate plan to stop Zone Fighter’s brutal murder of monsters – a new monster!

Soon two tiny girls will be by demanding this egg…

Great plan, idiots! I hope Zone Fighter murders all of you.

Ha ha ha! Your hat is ridiculous!
Sihirbazlar Krali Mandrake Killing'in pesinde

Sihirbazlar Kralı Mandrake Kiling’in Peşinde (Review)

Sihirbazlar Kralı Mandrake Kiling’in Peşinde

aka Kilink vs Mandrake

1967
Written by Vecdi Uygun
Directed by Oksal Pekmezoglu

Kilink vs Mandrake
The smoke breaks never stop when you’re Kilink. Until the cancer comes…

It’s time once again for TarsTarkas.NET and Die, Danger, Die, Die, Kill to hit you with a double dose of long-lost film action! This time, we travel all the way to the wild shores of Turkey to dig up a buried treasure featuring a guy in a skeleton suit and a magician battling it out for the heart (and money!) of a Princess from India. Yes, it is the lost classic, Sihirbazlar Kralı Mandrake Kiling’in Peşinde (aka Kilink vs. Mandrake!)

Kilink finds his origin with Killing, and Italian photo comic anti-hero who dressed in a skeleton costume and did evil things and evil women. The series was published in many countries, including France where it was known as Satanik. Killing became Kilink in Turkey, and Kiling in Argentina, which continued to make their own photo comics far after the originals stopped production.

Kilink vs Mandrake
The Tony Stark of the Magician world…

Killing was the type of character that became very popular in Turkey because he was a type of ultimate male, and it was natural that they would make their own home-grown version. And thanks to the way the Turkish alphabet is structured, Killing became Kilink. Kilink Istanbul’da was originally reviewed here based off of a vcd, since then DVD releases have given us the first three films (including one film partially recreated from surviving stills.) After the Original Trilogy of Kilink films, Turkish cinema went wild (well, wilder) and a who batch of Kilink films were made from various companies, most of which were not connected to each other in any way, and they couldn’t even keep their spellings straight!

Director Yılmaz Atadeniz brought us four films – Kilink Istanbul’da (1967 – reviewed off of vcd, film is missing a steambath scene), Kilink uçan adama karsi (1967 – largely lost and restored on DVD by Onar films largely through surviving stills), Kilink Soy ve Öldür (1967), and Kilink Caniler Krali (Kilink King of Criminals – 1967 – believed lost). Yavuz Figenli gave us Kilink Oluler Konusmaz (Kilink The Dead Don’t Talk – 1967 – believed lost) and Kiling Sarışın Tehlike (Killing Blond Danger – 1967 – believed lost and possibly just a retitle of Kilink The Dead Don’t Talk).

Oksal Pekmezoğlu’s sole entry was this film, Sihirbazlar Kralı Mandrake Kiling’in Peşinde (1967). Nuri Akıncı gave us the long-wanted to be seen Kilink Frankestayn ve Dr no’ya karsi (Kilink vs. Frankenstein – 1967 – believed lost). Natuk Baytan directed Saskin Hafiye Kilink’e karsi (Silly Detective vs Kilink – 1967 – believed lost). Çetin İnanç gave us Kilink Canilere Karşı (1967 – believed lost). Aram Gülyüz directed the only known female Kilink film – Dişi Kilink (1967 – believed lost)! That rounds out the 1960s.

The first 1970s Kilink was Birsen Kaya’s Kilink Olum Saciyor (Kilink Spreads Death – 1971 – believed lost). We then jump ahead a few years for Müjdat Saylav’s Killing Kolsuz Kahraman’a Karsi (Kilink vs. the One-Armed Warrior – 1975 – believed lost). And finally, the Kilink legacy continues with 2008’s tv movie Kilink-Kayıp Altınlar! I am pretty sure this is a comedy and has now entered my top ten list of movies to get.

Kilink vs Mandrake
Not racist!

As you just saw, so many were considered lost…until suddenly Sihirbazlar Kralı Mandrake Kiling’in Peşinde was found! Crazy how that works. Originally, a copy was given to Onar films for an eventual DVD release, but Bill Barounis fell ill, and as he was Onar films, the film was never released and sadly Bill passed on. But you can never keep a cult film down, and Sihirbazlar Kralı Mandrake Kiling’in Peşinde found its way into another person’s hands, who both subtitled the film and released a copy to the public via the usual method for lost rare films – carrier pigeon! And now it’s being force-fed to your brain thanks to this review!

One theory for the scant availability for Sihirbazlar Kralı Mandrake Kiling’in Peşinde is that it was made for only a smaller region of Turkey, the city of Adana and the surrounding area. That would also explain some of the Kilink and other pop cinema films that are hard to find beyond the usually used explanations about the Turkish military destroying prints and the destruction of prints to get the silver iodide.

Director Oksal Pekmezoğlu was trained as an illustrator, began making opening credit sequences in films, and then moved from that to directing. He continued to make films until his death in 2004, though his output had slowed considerably by the end of the 80s.

Lee Falk’s Mandrake premiered in newspapers in 1934, and predates his creation of The Phantom (which also got Turkey films such as Kizil Maske and Kizil Maske!) Mandrake is a magician who specializes in hypnotism, and has all sorts of adventures you would expect magicians to have. Aside from a Mandrake serial in 1939, there are no Mandrake films. Mandrake did have a pilot filmed for an unproduced tv series in 1954, and showed up in several cartoons, most notably Defenders of the Earth. This film is the only actual Mandrake movie, even if it isn’t authorized. Turkey is like that, putting out the only known or first film version of many properties, even if they didn’t bother to get anyone’s permission.

Kilink vs Mandrake
The Amazing Jonathan’s done a few drive-bys…

Mandrake (Güven Erte) – The magician man with the plan, and that plan is to tease Indian Princesses until they like him. Those plans usually work.
Lothar (Mustafa Dik) – Holy Blackface, Batman! Mandrake’s partner is Lothar (though called Abdullah in the subtitles!) He is an African Prince who follows Mandrake around on his adventures. I am guessing that the actor is Mustafa Dik based on the title billing.
Kilink (Sadettin Düzgün) – Kilink is once again up to no good, being evil and doing evil things, like owning a brothel and whipping people. Including himself, as he has whipping scars all down his back. All his goons have scars, from the K’s carved into them to whipping scars of their own, giving a weird S&M feel. I bet his nickname is Special K!
Princess Neslihan (Mine Mutlu) – A Princess from India who spends her time hanging out in hotels in Turkey. And Mandrake puts the moves on her! But Kilink is eager to steal her crown and her money and her body!
Mustapha (???) – Blonde Kilink goon with a big K scar on his face. He kinda looks like an albino Joaquim Phoenix! I am not sure who played him.
Salma (Tansu Sayın) – Kilink’s blonde girl who wants to be his lady. Doesn’t she know there is no future in that? Tansu Sayın is in some other Turkish Pop Cinema classics like Demir Pençe Casuslar Savaşı, Zorro Dişi Fantoma’ya Karşı, and Zorro’nun Kara Kamçısı.
Kilink vs Mandrake
I got my jam-jams on!

Zone Fighter Episode 11 – Kanippatsu Gojira-no Sakebi!

Zone Fighter Episode 11 – Kanippatsu Gojira-no Sakebi!

aka In the Twinkling of An Eye: The Roar of Godzilla! aka In a Hair’s Breadth: The Roar of Godzilla!

1973
March of Godzilla 2012
Written by Kazuhisa Hattori
Directed by Jun Fukuda


Godzilla is back! And Gigan shows up to get murdered! Zone Fighter makes up for the lame monsters of the previous episode by giving us what we want, classic Toho monsters pounding the crap out of each other. And more Zone Fighter murderous monster rampage.

Godzilla grows increasingly bored in these lopsided fights, he now only does them for LOL fight moves.

Another thing you learn thanks to Zone Fighter is that car racing in Japan at the time featured cars covered in taped on tarp for some reason. I have no idea why. Even all the windows (back window and sides) are covered, and the passenger side of the front window is also covered. All you get is the driver’s side windshield and an open passenger side window. And you wear goggles while test driving despite having a windshield.

The washing machine is off-center again…

If you are still Zone Fighter confused, check out the Zone Fighter Splash Page to get educated on the world of Zone Fighter.

Word to your mother

Zone Fighter Episode 10 – Zettaizetsumei! Zoonfaitaa

Zone Fighter Episode 10 – Zettaizetsumei! Zoonfaitaa

aka Zone Fighter Annihilated! aka Zone Fighter Destroyed!

1973
March of Godzilla 2012
Written by Motoo Nagai
Directed by Akiyasu Kikuchi


The title promises Zone Fighter destroyed? We can only hope… Because this isn’t anywhere near the last episode, so we know he didn’t die. Unfortunately, Zone Fighter is only destroyed by a mix of the Japanese Energy Crisis and bland ratings. What we do get are two monsters, a goofy gimmick, and Zone Fighter attempting to be creative. Which sort of works, but not well enough.

The dangers of cell phone radiation can’t be overstressed!

We got Shipudoro (& Tyler too!), a monster so lame that Zone Fighter doesn’t even bother to murder him. There is also Shadorah, who is connected to Zone Fighter in an intimate way. But that doesn’t stop him from getting brutally killed, as the crazed Zone Fighter continues to collect the scalps of anything that passes his way. If you are confused by anything in the Zone Fighter universe, check out the Zone Fighter Splash Page so all your questions can be answered.

Y-M-C-A!

The Garogas send a big orb to menace Zone Fighter, which he just shoots and it blows up. Of course it is all a trick as we’ll see later, but for now let’s continue with the story. The Zone family is suspicious but ignores what happens until Hikaru notices his shadow is now all wobbly and weird.

I’m not the Transformer Repungus, stop asking!

No time for doctor examinations, a monster is attacking the city! It’s Shipudoro, who is like a weirdo octopus.

Korean Terminator (Review)

Korean Terminator

aka 터미네이터와 형사 곰팽이

1992
Directed by ???

Korean Terminator
Terminator Beyond Thunderdome!

It’s time once again for a Korean kiddie comedy that will make you beg for a bullet to the brain to ease the pain. Korean Terminator is just as awful as you think a kids Terminator film would be. Like most of these Korean children’s films, there is a ridiculous fat guy who is supposed to be comedic. We saw one in Super Batman & Mazinger V, and there is one here. Though I am not 100% sure, I believe these are the spawn of D-War director Shim Hyung-rae’s character from the Wuroimae films, which were popular enough many of these similar films ganked from them just as much as these Korean kiddie films ganked from Japan and America. There are also often characters with some random stylized anime characteristics, most notably a red nose or drawn on freckles or eyebrows, which I think is an artifact of many of these films having their subjects stolen from anime/manga properties. Though other films will be a mix of live-action and cartoons, Korean Terminator is 100% live-action, so the anime people don’t really seem to belong and make the film much more surreal than it should be.

Korean Terminator
Lady, you ask me about my salvation again, and I’ll Terminate you!

It looks like you can thank Jademan Comics Co. for this travesty, as that is the only thing in English in the “FBI” warning before the picture. Which is sort of funny because of the blatant copyright infringement going on in the actual movie. But do not steal this movie that steals so much from so many! If you are a time travel fan, you will be sad to know there is no time travel in this Terminator! There is only a guy who is turned into a Terminator by a crazy scientist who does stuff like that. Every once in a while there is an action sequence befitting a Korean children’s film, the rest of the time is mostly unfunny comedy. But we won’t get anywhere without knowing who we’re facing! I have no clue who any of the actors are or who even directed this. It was a minor miracle finding the Korean name of this film, which doesn’t seem to have an English translation beyond Korean Terminator (which is only the first part of the actual title!) There is also at least one other Korean Terminator ripoff film made around the same time, with a completely different cast.

Korean Terminator
The true story of Real Doll vaginas!

Terminator (???) – Terminator was just your average guy who like Paula Abdul until he’s murdered by goons, then he’s rebuilt into Terminator. The pre-Terminator guy doesn’t exist long enough to even get a character name! He spends most of the film wandering around until commanded to be good by Professor.
Professor (???) – Professor has a device the bad guys want. He also rebuilds people into cyborgs instead of taking them to the hospital. Never get a paper cut near Professor, or you will have robot arms before you can scream!
Photographer Girl (???) – A lady photographer who was going to talk to Professor right before he was kidnapped. Gets involved in the attempts to rescue him and stop the bad guys.
Yeong (???) – A goofy cop who spends most of his screen time making ugly faces and falling over himself. It’s hard to tell some times who is more annoying, Yeong or the Fat Evil Sibling!
The Evil Siblings (??? and ???) – The most annoying bad guys ever! The fat guy in the cowboy hat stutters and spends most of the film talking tough and then getting blown over by a gentle breeze. His sister is the whiniest woman in the world. Thankfully they both die.
Korean Terminator
I won’t be back! *SOB!*
Trip To Moon

Trip To Moon (Review)

Trip to Moon

aka Chand Par Chadayee

1967
Written by Dr. P. Balakrishnan and T.R. Sundaram
Directed by T.P. Sundaram

Trip to Moon
How you boys like my new goldfish bowl?

Trip to Moon is another Dara Singh adventure, as the famous wrestler has become far too manly and powerful to be confined to foes just upon Earth, he has to search the stars for new enemies. Luckily the Moon and Mars both contain a sizeable amount of wrestlers and monsters for him to battle with, and then there is the little matter of the love of a Princess and adverting war between the Moon and Mars. As we get an experience that’s obviously heavily influenced by serials like Flash Gordon, the audience comes along for the ride in one of the few instances of Indian science fiction film. It’s also a bonus entry into the MOSS (Mysterious Order of the Skeleton Suit) Conspiracy Big Muscle Tussle, because I am awesome like that.

Trip to Moon
Rise of the Moon of the Apes!

Trip to Moon has several mysteries surrounding it. Though it was released in 1967, one of the actors – S. Nazir who plays a kidnapped scientist in the beginning – died earlier. He’s even listed as deceased in the credits. Theories abound as to when Trip to Moon was actually filmed, with guesses ranging from 1963-1967 – though it is possible additional scenes were added later. So why did it take so long for Trip to Moon to hit Indian theaters, if that was the case? Was it more distribution problems similar to what drove producers to start making stunt films in the first place, or was there something else going on? Or are these rumors all untrue and just made up by people with websites? Perhaps if you know Dara Singh, you can ask him. Tell him TarsTarkas.NET sent you! Then he won’t punch you as hard for bothering him.

Trip to Moon
Only in India do you get crowd scenes with Devo and a herd of Phantoms from Krankor…

Much like his other films King Kong and Samson, although he’s given a character and backstory, Dara Singh is just Dara Singh. Much like how Arnold Schwarzenegger is Arnold in every movie, even if he is a robot or a believer in Free Mars. By now Dara is headlining films himself, no need for pretty boys to share the spotlight. He still has a comic relief guy, because you can’t escape their goofy grasps. Dara’s wrestling opponents are less billed than before, and though some make appearances, many are under layers of makeup or costumes playing various space monsters. There is a feeling in the air that Trip to Moon is using whatever costumes the studio had lying around for use, along with possibly monster costumes.

Trip to Moon
It’s lonely out in space on such a timeless flight

The opening credits are filled with what look like stock scifi paintings as the credits role. Despite the trappings, there are relatively few Indian science fiction films. Others known or suspected to be (besides mythologicals or super hero films) include Dara Singh’s other film Rocket Tarzan (1963), Wahan Ke Log (1967), Rocket Girl (1962), Flying Circus (1965 – though that just has a robot), Flying Man (1965), Miss Chaalbaaz (1961), Atom Bomb (1949, dir. Homi Wadia), Kalai Arasi (1963), and Aditya 369 (1991). Thank MBarnum of Pedro the Ape Bomb for some of these titles. The either missing of unavailable status of many of those films prevents a good overview of older Indian science fiction. The more modern films are better known – Koi Mil Gaya, Krrish, Love Story 2050, Da.One, Aa Dekhen Zara, Endhiran (a Kollywood joint) and Krrish 2. But those are entries for new dawns and new days.

Trip to Moon
I’ll be He-Man, and you’ll be Bee-rah, Princess of Honeypots!

Yes, this unsubtitled, badly encoded vcd just doesn’t want us to know what is going on. But here at TarsTarkas.NET, we don’t need no stinking subtitles!

Captain Anand (Dara Singh) – Space Captain Anand is the greatest fighter on three worlds, what with his kicking butts on Earth, the Moon, and Mars. John Carter needs to watch out! I thought from the context that Anand’s father was among the scientists kidnapped by the Moon, but he never shows up so who knows. For more Dara Singh, don’t forget to check out King Kong, Samson, and the Dara Singh Infernal Brains podcast
Princess Shimoga (C. Ratna) – The stunning Princess of the Moon, who quickly takes a shine to Captain Anand and his seriousness. Her costume looks like a flight attendant’s costume, which is sort of weird in itself. I could find no information about actress Ratna aka C. Ratna.
Bhagu (Master Bhagwan) – Comic relief buddy of Dara Singh, who is like Wayne Knight meets Abbott and Costello. is Anand’s paternal cousin. I originally guessed his name was Foruk, and kind of wish it still was. Bhagu has a double who is the assistant of the King of Mars, Isabel
Balti (Rajrani) – The kidnapping Moon girl that takes a shine to Bhagu, because annoying dumpy guys are irresistible to fabulous moon babes. It’s a fact, Jack! Her name as Balti is a guess (a bad one), and the actress being Rajrani is also a guess (though more of process of elimination.)
Simi (Padma Khanna) – The other space girl who accompanies Balti on her trips to kidnap people and other tasks. She doesn’t get to marry on of the two main castmembers, for reasons that will become apparent as you watch. Padma Khanna (here billed simply as Padma) is a Hindi and Bhojpuri actress who was mostly active in the 60s-80s. She has recently directed her own Bhojpuri film and runs a dance studio and produces stage shows in New York/New Jersey.
Barahatu the King of Mars (Anwar Hussain) – The evil King of Mars Barahatu totally wants to marry the Princess of the Moon Shimoga, but he’s old and gross and evil, so she snubs him. So he just kidnaps her, risking a war to try to make her marry him. That just annoys her even more.
Robot (man in suit) – This robot shows up suddenly and starts fighting captain Anand, until another robot randomly walks in and then the robots fight.
Space Rhinoceros (men in suit) – Mars also features dangerous Space Rhinoceroses that will totally attack innocent wrestlers who are chasing after kidnapped princesses nearby.
Trip to Moon
Things went ugly quickly when a robot played 7 aces during Fizzbin