Do you want Search?
Random Post
Random Post
Search
  • Home
  • Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Search
Cerebro Del Mal
InMovie Reviews, Ugly

Cerebro Del Mal (Review)

October 28, 2012By

Cerebro Del Mal

aka Santo contra cerebro del mal

1959
Written by Fernando Osés and Enrique Zambrano
Directed by Joselito Rodríguez

After three weeks of decorating, Santo finally got his bedroom the way he wanted it. Now to sit back and enjoy.

Before Santo el Enmascarado de Plata became the international super star that punched every monster who ever monsted, he has to start in the beginning of the movie world. Already an established wrestler, by 1952 Santo was now featured in a comic book (which ran for 35 years) and was offered a role in the serial El Enmascarado de Plata. Santo turned down the role (sources vary, but him believing the film wasn’t going to be a hit is the most common reason given.) The serial featured another actor in a silver mask (who became the villain to a white-masked wrestler hero) and was released in an edited into a movie form. But by 1958, the time was ripe for Santo to actually jump into movies himself.

If I catch that drunk Incognito passed out on the job again, he’s fired!

Cerebro Del Mal and Hombres Infernales were both filmed in Cuba in 1958 just before the revolution. They feature the same Mexican director (Joselito Rodríguez) and main cast (Santo, Joaquín Cordero, and Fernando Osés), with Cuban supporting actors and crew. Because this is an early Santo flick, it doesn’t feature many of the common lucha libre film tropes that we’ve all grown to love. Heck, Santo isn’t even the focus of the picture! The plot is more of a crime caper with science fiction elements. Santo barely talks, he’s usually called “the Masked One” by most of the bad guy crew, and both he and the other wrestler El Incognito are the best agents of the police force (while also being citizens of the world or something…) There are no shots of Santo driving around in his convertible, and Santo is even easily defeated by random thugs. Santo isn’t dating a girl, nor do any women even find him or El Incognito desirable.

Of Santo’s 52 films, these first two are the most unlike any of the others. But even still, the seeds of future efforts are planted here. Santo is a figure of justice, this time even working for the police force that will often call on him in later films. There is a mad scientist, hence the title of the film, Cerebro Del Mar. People are hypnotized/mind controlled, which happens a lot in subsequent Santo flicks. And masked people running around Mexico is not considered odd enough for anyone to make comments about it. Cerebro Del Mal is an interesting quaint film, and though it doesn’t achieve the crazed excesses of its progeny, it does hold the promise of more to come.

Breaking Bad: The Lucha Years

Santo (Santo) – Usually referred to as El Enmascarado, Santo is one of the masked police agents. He’s captured in the beginning of the film and brainwashed. He’s then rescued, and continues to play brainwashed to help bring down Dr. Campos. Santo is billed as as “Santo” el Enmascarado de Plata.
El Incognito (Fernando Osés) – Fellow masked wrestling police agent who helps save Santo and gets a bullet in the gut for his trouble. A bullet that only grazes him. In the gut. Fernando Osés would go on to costar in dozens of lucha libre and other Mexican cult cinema, usually as henchmen or goons of the main villain. He helped write the film along with fellow costar Enrique Zambrano.
Dr. Campos (Joaquín Cordero) – Mad scientist who develops the power of brainwashing and decides he’s going to do whatever he wants now, which is sort of bad because he becomes a complete jerk, kidnapping and murdering people.
Elisa (Norma Suárez) – The lovely Elisa is dating Gerardo, but she catches the eye of Dr. Campos, who sets out to kidnap her to brainwash so he can have his way with her.
Gerardo (as Alberto Inzúa) – New assistant to Dr. Campos, and boy does he have the worst boss ever! No only is Dr. Campos a super villain, but he kidnaps Gerardo’s girlfriend Elisa!
Evil scientist and Hallmark store patron!
InMovie Reviews, Ugly

Angel Force

October 27, 2012By

Angel Force

aka 天使特警 aka Tian shi te jing

1991
Written by Johnny Lee Gwing-Gaai
Directed by Hua Shan
Angel Force
Angel Force gives us what we want, tons and tons of action. Sure, there’s a plot in there, a half-baked rescue mission in the jungle that for some reason is done by cops, and some corrupt cops angle, but mostly it is just tons and tons of action. Shooting, kicking, knifing, punching, ridiculous stunts…Hong Kong action at its finest. These are the types of videos guys like me seeked out like crack at rental stores because nothing like this was coming out of US studios. Angel Force just brings back so many memories of renting anything I could from the woefully undersupplied Foreign section of the local video stores, at least until I got to a town with an awesome video store, and then the rise of cheap DVDs.
Angel Force
One thing about Angel Force is the film randomly leaves the Hong Kong cop setting for the middle of the film to do a jungle commando rescue mission, a la the beginning of Predator. This sets Angel Force enough different from the competition without it becoming one of several jungle commando pictures that were also out at the time. I do love all these girls with guns flicks, the danger is with most having similar plots and featuring the same core of actresses, without ridiculous stunts the films will begin to blur. So anything that helps a picture stand out is good in my book.
Angel Force

May (Moon Lee Choi-Fung) – Cop who is sent to the jungle to take down a terorist general and rescue hostages, because you want cops doing that, not the army. Even though she brings army guys. Moon Lee can also be seen in Angels, Fatal Termination, and Tomb Raiders/Avenging Quartet
Peter Lung and Helen Lung (Wilson Lam Jun-Yin and ???) – Peter is a hardworking cop who keeps getting called back to work and thus having no time for vacations, which upsets his wife Helen. Peter gets shot halfway through the movie and misses out on the jungle battle. Their son is Yaya, who gets giant ninja turtle toy and quizzes everyone on what “make love” is.
Benny (Hugo Ng Doi-Yung) – Crazy guy brought in on the commando team because he’s awesome at commando stuff. But he’s also a jerk and likes to rape women, so up yours, Benny!

Angel Force

InMovie Reviews, Ugly

Sexual Quest

October 25, 2012By

Sexual Quest


2011
Written by Who Knows? No one is credited
Directed by Austin Brooks

Sexual Quest
You cashed out our 401k’s to buy WHAT???!

One thing you don’t see at all in softcore films are minority men. While the women may be every color under the sun (though black women are far less common), the men are almost always white, and the leads are always white. Not only does Sexual Quest break the mold, but it does it in the most smashing way by having an Asian male as the lead. And beyond that, an Asian male in a stable relationship with an Asian female who has multiple sex scenes. I can literally count on two fingers the amount of Asian males I’ve seen in softcore flicks in sex scenes (and both of them were villains with a lone sex scene!) Asian males get the short shift in general in media when it comes to sexuality, so it is good to see that they are making strides into all areas, even if it is one film at a time.

Sexual Quest
Who says I have a drinking problem??

Beyond the breaking ground of casting, Sexual Quest isn’t even written to be progressive racially. It’s just a normal couple film, the couple just happens to be Asian. The couple Jamie and Adam are normal people in a normal relationship, and they have normal feelings and emotions. They act like a real couple, with interactions involving spats and those little arguments you have from time to time. The naturalistic dialogue isn’t improvised (which is painfully obvious from time to time), which makes the lack of a credited writer upsetting. Sexual Quest is a great couple’s flick, the couple in the film cares for each other and their feelings, and work together to make their marriage work. As much fun as it is to watch the softcores involving alien chicks collecting milk jugs full of sperm for their home planet, sometimes it’s good to watch a film that can appeal to a larger demographic. And it gives enough sex scenes that even those who are watching for just one thing late at night on Cinemax won’t have to wait long for the action to start.

Sexual Quest is a journey. Yes, a sexual journey, but not one where people just start having sex with anything that crosses their path. This is a journey of a couple, as they work to explore their relationship and both expand their areas sexual experience and discovery while still respecting the boundaries of the other member of the couple. They work as a team, doing things that is slightly outside their comfort zones to try to please the other person. Often, they find they like the new experiences, but even as this couple has a lot of sex, they aren’t total freaks or anything. They could be any random couple. The vanilla background makes the quest more believable, and makes the eventual conclusion on what their fantasies lead too all the more real.

Sexual Quest
These Cosmo sex tips are just a list of menu items from Denny’s!

Jamie (Charmane Star) – Wife of Adam who helps come up with the idea of the sexual bucket list in order to spice up their sex life. Charmane Star is an adult actress that you may have seen in Wicked Fourgy of Whorror, Baby Doll Lesbian Orgies, or Operation Just Cooze.
Adam (James Kwong) – Jamie’s husband and co-conspirator of the sexual bucket list. James Kwong does nightclub work.
Kerry (Ann Marie Rios) – Kerry is Jamie’s friend who is going through relationship problems as her boyfriend is busy having sex with other women. You may have seen Ann Marie Rios in such fine adult fare as Lesbian Halfway House, Pretty Prisoners of Chloro Conspiracies, or Battle of the Hogtied Maids
Grant (Duane Carter) – Adam’s friend who becomes a tag-along on the fantasy list so he can live vicariously through his married friend. Isn’t it usually the opposite in these films?
Mike (Dean Black) – Bartender, lover, husband…Mike wears many hats, even though he doesn’t wear a hat in the actual film. Married to Cheryl, but the marriage is more open than arms in a Creed song.
Cheryl (Victoria White) – Blonde woman who is married to Mike, but has sex with many people who aren’t Mike, as their relationship is open. That’s about the extent of her personality. Adult actress Victoria White is also in the fine films This Ain’t Hollywood Squares XXX, Sexy! Naked!, Bound!, and Naked Tickle Passion.
Sexual Quest
Distort-o-arms!
InMovie Reviews, Ugly

Space Battleship Yamato

October 23, 2012By

Space Battleship Yamato

aka Space Battleship ヤマト aka Supesu Batorushippu Yamato

2010
Written by Shimako Sato
Story by Yoshinobu Nishizaki
Directed by Takashi Yamazaki

With the remake trains heading at full speed down the tracks of the movie world, it is only natural that popular franchises like Space Battleship Yamato would become one of the train stations. Space Battleship Yamato (宇宙戦艦ヤマト) was an anime series begun in 1974, it features a continual story arc and was followed up by several sequel series and films and lawsuits. Released in the west as Star Blazers, the anime gained a faithful cult following overseas as well as home. I’ve never seen Star Blazers, though it’s popular enough I’ve become familiar with the concept. Earth under attack by powerful aliens, a lone ship sent on a desperate mission. And that ship just happens to be built in the hull of the infamous World War II battleship Yamato.

This reboot of Space Battleship Yamato takes some cues from the reboot of Battlestar Galactica. More than some cues. Okay, it’s almost a carbon copy of Battlestar Galactica. From the 9-11 inspired opening destruction of Earth’s fleet (which rings way more hollow and is an interesting look at 9-11 from a non-American country) to the characters with templates lifted wholesale (including gender swaps!) to the made up story of hope to inspire a journey across the galaxy, deja vu will deja vu your deja vu. Space Battleship Yamato owes almost its entire existence to Battlestar Galactica, which is odd considering it has a whole original canon to use.

The general concept of the original cartoon using the Yamato was a reference to the final mission of the battleship, which was generally seen as a brave but futile effort to defend Japan before the inevitable defeat. Yamato was seen as a metaphor for the Japanese Empire, double-downed by the name Yamato being a poetic name. Space Battleship Yamato borrows this line of thinking, even going so far as to spell it out to the audience. But the liberal borrowing of concepts and themes from Battlestar Galactica muddies the water. After the Yamato is launched, it becomes a series of episodes with the theme of sacrifice for the greater good. Susumu Kodai has a chip on his shoulder against Captain Okita, believing he abandoned his brother to die. Yuki Mori thinks Kodai leaving the military was abandoning his duty. Kodai violates orders to try to save crew members, endangering the entire ship, but later learns that you can’t avoid Kobayashi Maru forever and sometimes people have to die. Even the ending of the film works on this concept of sacrifice, from the cast thinning to the final actions of Kodai. Characters die, and the survivors will spend far too long thinking about the death in the middle of the action. Time is of the essence, people! These reactions are meant to emphasize the sacrifices, but are so overdone they become distracting. Oddly enough, this focus on duty and sacrifice above all else gives Space Battleship Yamato themes that mimic the thinking of the time of the real battleship Yamato.

The mixed messages cause Space Battleship Yamato to flounder around and lose the emotional punches it needed. I am not familiar enough with the original show to know if it was similarly muddled. The liberal borrowing from another source is also a big red mark against it. The visual effects are wonderful, especially considering the lower budget. It is a nice looking film. But looks are only skin deep, and Space Battleship Yamato is like one of those hollow chocolate bunnies. You know it should be filled with chocolate, but it just isn’t, and it’s not what you wanted.

Susumu Kodai (Takuya Kimura) – Former fighter squad leader (the Black Tigers) who left the service, only to come back into action for the Yamato mission. His best friend is an analyzer, basically an iPhone. Lost his brother in the Gamilas ambush. Definitely not Lee Adama.
Yuki Mori (Meisa Kuroki) – Expert Cosmos Tiger fighter pilot who is always prepared. Definitely not Starbuck. Meisa Kuroki was also in Assault Girls.
Captain Juzo Okita (Tsutomu Yamazaki) – Old grizzled captain of the Yamato. Gruff but recognizes potential in people. Able to make tough decisions. Lost his son to the Gamilas forces. Definitely not Bill Adama.
Gamilas (CGI and Masato Ibu) – Aliens who start attacking Earth for unknown reasons. Then tries to stop the humans when they fight back. Desla is the named Gamilas, who are both individuals and a collective mind.

InMovie Reviews, Ugly

The Iron Glove

October 20, 2012By

The Iron Glove


1954
Written by Douglas Heyes, Samuel J. Jacoby, Robert E. Kent, Jesse Lasky Jr., and DeVallon Scott
Directed by William Castle

This film is Untouchabullcrap!

One casualty of the modern movie landscape is the dearth of swashbuckler films. Like westerns and original musicals, swashbucklers were a product of an earlier age, the type of stories that we’re told won’t fit in with modern sensibilities. And while the three genres have slowed to a trickle, there are notable examples of all of them in recent years. The flow may not be strong, but it is still bubbling up water.

I wish I could say The Iron Glove was a thirst-quenching example from yesteryear, but, alas, it’s actually rancid gunk not fit for a beast! This is a shame, as director William Castle (House on Haunted Hill, 13 Ghosts, The Tingler) had the ability to craft a good tale, even if he did lean towards theater gimmicks to promote his flicks. The Iron Glove is filled with low production values, the walking scenes and the speaking closeups are so obviously filmed at different times that the viewer becomes uncomfortable and begins to squirm in their seat with unease. Something is wrong, something off. Almost no character moves while talking for the entire film, they walk, stop, closeup, talk.

Let’s not even get into Robert Stack’s accent being all over the map…it’s Irish usually, when he remembers, but sometimes it’s Scottish or it drops out entirely. Robert Stack seems like he’d be a natural for the hero role. Known to people my age as the host of Unsolved Mysteries, to my parents as the guy from The Untouchables, and to kids today as that one guy from Airplane!, Stack was a perfect old school leading man. He looked tough, strong, and the type of guys ladies would swoon for. Playing a super-talented honorable swordsman fighting for a losing cause should be a sure-fire win. But then he opens his mouth and talks with the ridiculous accent, and it all falls apart. Shot under the working title The Kiss and the Sword, producer Sam Katzman had wanted Cornel Wilde for the title role. But he was busy setting up his own company, thus enter Stack, who reportedly wasn’t too fond of this production.

18th century hipsters

The setting for The Iron Glove (please note that I do not recall an iron glove appearing in the film besides the title card) is when James Stuart was battling for the English throne in the 18th century. The setting is one of those historical settings that I don’t think most Americans would have given a crap about, no matter how much Stack tells us how super cool James Stuart is. The historical accuracy is rather thin, though they do get a bit of the basics right, and the Polish Princess Stuart ends up marrying becomes a plot point. But Braveheart this ain’t, the King of England isn’t painted as a crazed psychopath, just a jerk, whose efforts seem based on keeping another jerk from having the throne. The failure to get us to even cheer for the hero’s side is another failure of The Iron Glove.

What The Iron Glove does get right is the use of color. It’s a very bright film, looking a lot like the type of 60s adventures Disney would later make. Producer Sam Katzman wanted Cornel Wilde to play Charles Wogan, but he was busy creating his own production company. Thus, Robert Stack.

Oh, sir, phallic symbol me away!

Captain Charles Wogan (Robert Stack) – Officer in Prince James Stuart’s war for the throne. Loyal to his friend James Stuart as the two grew up together. An honorable man to a fault, which leaves him blind to basic traps.
Ann Brett (Ursula Thiess) – Ann’s father was killed by the Stuarts, so she hates them. But not as much as she loves making out with Charles Wogan!
Prince James Stuart (Richard Wyler) – Heir to the English throne, but cast out via historical reasons that you can wikipedia for yourself. Depicted here as the most honorable man who ever lived, even though other characters mention him killing their families.
Timothy O’Toole (Charles Irwin) – One of Captain Wogan’s buddies, and the greatest drinker in all of Ireland. And that’s a land with a lot of drinkers. Seemingly unaware that he has a Bond Girl name.
Patrick Gaydon (Alan Hale Jr.) – The Skipper! If you ever wanted to see the Skipper in drag while sporting a bad Irish accent, then do I have a flick for you!
Duke of Somerfield (Leslie Bradley) – Duke who is loyal to the crown, but pretends to not be loyal to root out traitors. Which is evil because the traitors are the good guys in this flick. Has orange fluffy boarder on his tricorner hat. His evilness even means he wants to marry the woman he had pretend to be his wife! The fiend!
If you ask me to call you “Little buddy” one more time, the next Unsolved Mystery will be the location of your grave!
InGood, Movie Reviews

Shab Neshini Dar Jahanam

October 18, 2012By

Shab Neshini Dar Jahanam

aka A Party In Hell

1958
Written by Mehdi Maysaghieh
Directed by Samuel Khachikian and Mushegh Sarvarian

When you think Iranian cinema, what comes to mind for most people are art house movies that are considered critical masterpieces. Now, this may be true for most Iranian cinema exported post-revolution, but Iran has had a prolific and diverse cinema industry for over 100 years. Even the current crop of films produced for the domestic audience is completely different from the art house films (many of which are not even screened in Iran!) And like any thriving film community, excellent and influential directors will helm pictures that are now considered genre films. So we’re going to take a trip back to the 50s and 60s, when Iranian cinema was at one of its creative peaks. Around this time, the box office was beginning to fill up with thriller pictures that would become a fad before being replaced by melodramas as the next big thing. Western influences in storytelling and editing became more apparent, especially films directed by Samuel Khachikian, one of the directors of Shab Neshini Dar Jahanam (A Party in Hell).
The reason Shab Neshini Dar Jahanam gains our attention is the highly detailed and energetic fantasy sequence that makes up the last third of the film. Our hero wanders through Hell to learn important life lessons on not being a greedy jerk, and in doing so encounters wonderful sets, costumes, and historical figures. The wild underworld filled with angels, devils, tribesmen, dancers, Caesars, Hitler, Napoleon, Genghis Khan, snake ladies, giant monsters, a Satan Computer, and rock and roll, is a creative and entertaining feast. The use of movement and music flow together to create an energy that brings the film to life. Needless to say, I enjoyed A Party in Hell.

Two directors are credited in some database, others only list Samuel Khachikian. So let’s talk about him first. Khachikian was one of the most popular and influential directors in Iranian history. He was also a prolific writer and editor. Khachikian’s directing career started with 1953’s Return, and he went on to direct forty films. Many of his pictures would be classified as genre pictures, trending towards thriller and noir elements, with several featuring horror elements. His successful suspense pictures earned him the nickname “Iranian Hitchcock.”

Some of his better known films are Khodahafez Tehran (Goodbye Tehran, 1966), Faryade nimeshab (The Midnight Terror, 1961), Delhoreh (Anxiety, 1962), and Chahar-rahe havades (The Crossroad of Events, 1955). Shab Neshini Dar Jahanam/A Party in Hell was entered into the 8th Berlin International Film Festival. Khachikian was Iranian-Armenian, and his original films were first shown within the community before expanded to all of Iran. Khachikian is also known for creating the first trailer for an Iranian film, his second feature, A Girl from Shiraz (1954).

Many of Khachikian’s films deal with class issues. His first film Return was a drama where a servant boy and the spoiled son from the family her works for compete over the affections of a young lady. He returned to the class themes with his third film, Crossroads of Incidents (1955), that also featured criminal scenes that got him praise. This continued into 1957’s A Storm in Our Town, a thriller that began his comparisons to Hitchcock. Khachikian would deny the influence, instead citing the stories from his father about the Armenian genocide as inspiration for the psychological thriller elements. Khachikian’s most well-known films were produced in the 60s, by the 1970s popular cinema had moved towards elements outside his comfort zone, leading to less distinctive work.

After the revolution, Khachikian’s output slowed considerably. 1985’s Eagles was one of the the first war films made by Iran, and was the highest grossing film up to that time. He wasn’t allowed to make another film until 1990’s Herald, a religious movie he made to placate Islamic cultural ministers (Khachikian was Christian.) Khachikian died in 2001, but his family legacy lives on through his son, director Edwin Khachikian, and his grandson, editor Ara H. Keshishian.

Mushegh Sarvarian was the original director, but for reasons I was unable to figure out, he left the production, causing the producers to scramble and hire on Khachikian. Sometimes known as Mushegh Soruri, the Iranian/Armenian director helmed a few other films, Mahtabe khoonin (aka The Bloody Moonlight, 1956), Haji Jabbar dar Paris (aka Mr. Jabbar in Paris, 1961), and Shahname akharesh khoshe (1966). I am pretty sure Haji Jabbar dar Paris is a loose sequel, with Ezzatollah Vosoogh reprising the role of Haji Jabbar. There isn’t that much information out there about Mushegh Sarvarian in English. If I were to guess, I would say Mushegh Sarvarian directed the more comedic elements of A Party in Hell and Samuel Khachikian directed the effects-laden portions.

Aside from the actors I’ve identified, I’ve found the cast list containing Roomina, Parkhideh, Rahim Rohshanian, Hooshang Morahdi, Akbar Khajavi, Ebrahim Bahgheri, Mehdi Raisfirooz, Berenji, Sobhani, and Zarandi. I don’t know who is who, beyond suspecting Roomina is Parvin.

Haji Jabbar (Ezzatollah Vosoogh) – A greedy jerk who is in need of getting an A Christmas Carol-style life evaluation! And don’t ask him about his old man makeup!
Ahmad (Reza Arham Sadr) – Haji’s assistant who has a secret life playing music at nightclubs. Reza Arham Sadr was called a master comedy performer, he made his name in comedic plays for years. Shab Neshini Dar Jahanam was his first film role. Though he appeared in a handful of other movies, Sadr moved back to his first love, the theater. After the revolution, many of his older plays were banned and he was considered undignified by cultural officials. He died in 2008 at age 85.
Parvin (???) – Haji Jabbar’s daughter. She wants to be free to marry her cousin, but Haji only sees her as a tool to get more money by marrying her to a rich guy. This upsets her, for reasons you might understand.
Parvin’s Cousin (???) – Not sure of his name, but he’s in love with Parvin, and Haji won’t let him marry her as he’s marrying her off to the highest bidder! So let’s whip out the musical instruments and be sad!

Older 
6566676869
 Newer