Death Clique (Review)

May 20, 2014ByTars Tarkas

Death Clique

2014
Written by Barbara Kymlicka
Directed by Doug Campbell

Friends can be murder when you join the Death Clique! A strong Lifetime exploitation flick is torpedoed by the ridiculous conclusion that panders a bit too much to the power of moms. But before we harp on that, Death Clique goes through the steps of the dissolving of a friendship due to the characters branching in different directions in life. Sara is the typical upper middle class girl whose dad is too wrapped up in work to pay much attention and whose mom Lana seems to be a typical stay at home mom who can’t imagine her daughter doing anything bad. By contrast, Jade has no mom, and her dad spends time away for weeks at a time, handing her not enough cash to get food and leaning on Sara’s family for support.

The two main girls, Sara and Jade, would never make it as friends after Sara leaves for college and Jade leaves to flunk out of community college and get knocked up by a fry cook. It’s not destiny that Jade would have a hard life, but the odds are not in her favor. So when Ashley arrives as the new girl at school, mature and as without parental supervision as Jade, it seems like a perfect match. Except Ashley has a very creepy dark side, and stupid Sara just keeps getting in the way as she tries to hold on to her friendship with Jade. Someone needs to take care of Sara, so she’ll stop ruining everything.

Said taken care of does happen, thus we deal with the consequences. I wasn’t sure if they’d go through with it, because things go on for a long time before it gets bloody. But it does, and is well done, you can see why Jade would be stricken with PTSD after watching it go down. Now Lana has to figure out what happened to her daughter, and before the end of the film.

	Ashley Tralman (Tina Ivlev) – The first we see of Ashley is her treating her drunk mom Tina with total disrespect, and she goes downhill from there. Moves to a new school where she becomes obsessed with Jade, and also obsessed with driving off Jade’s best friend Sara. Is she an evil lesbian or just a creep who wants a sister/pet to love to replace the affection she doesn’t get from mom?
	Sara Cowan (Lexi Ainsworth) – High school good girl and best friends with Jade, but becomes threatened with bad girl Ashley becomes competition for Jade’s affections. At one point Sara had run away, so her initial disappearance is believed to have been another runaway attempt and not murder.
	Jade Thompson (Brittany Underwood) – Girl from a broken home with little adult supervision doing her best, but failing. Best friends with Sara, who has the perfect home life. Finds a kindred spirit (or so she thinks) with Ashley, but Ashley is far more bad girl than she can handle.
	Lana Cowan (Barbara Alyn Woods) – Sara’s mom, a typical mom who loves her daughter and is unaware of all the drama going on. But when Sara disappears, she knows something is wrong and is desperate and driven to unravel all the threads.

InBad, Movie Reviews

Godzilla – 2014 (Review)

May 13, 2014ByTars Tarkas

Godzilla

2014
Story by Dave Callaham
Screenplay by Max Borenstein
Directed by Gareth Edwards

We were all a little apprehensive when we learned that there would be a second American Godzilla movie. After all, once bitten, twice shy. And while the memories of Matthew Broderick battling a preggers dinosaur that loves fish while things go all Jurassic Park are scarred in memories forever, Gareth Edwards brought American Godzilla movies full circle into actually good. Godzilla is big, fights monsters, has atomic breath, isn’t taken out like a punk, and becomes a realized character despite being a CGI construct. He’s the real deal. Just saying that makes me so happy I had to recalibrate my breakdown of the film because it does have its flaws. Nothing that we haven’t seen before in major tentpole films, but I’m not above pointing them out again and again.

I had my problems with Gareth Edwards, I found Monsters interesting when it had anything to do with monsters, and not when it had anything to do with people. Edwards brings his monster affinity to full load with Godzilla, the monsters are just so huge, so out of scale, that people are just running around trying to survive beneath their feet. The sheer enormity is a stark contrast to how helpless everyone is when the creatures are around.

Edwards trades two hours of monster destruction porn for an array of different effects of the destruction, from news clips to destructive aftermaths to monsters fighting it out in the background while humans run for their lives. But there is plenty of fighting going on during the climactic scenes set in San Francisco. They play tribute to the monster fights of old, but allow at CGI Godzilla to do a few moves that wouldn’t quite work with people in suits. Overall, the fight sequences are fun, but the meat of the monster appearances are just showing them so huge and destructive, and the people struggling to survive. The sequences with the monsters on rampage become a mix of giant monster, horror, and nature run amok all rolled up into one, and pulled off perfectly.

Gareth Edwards still has problems making interesting people, but he’s compensated by using incredibly awesome actors who turn those people interesting despite what they are given. Bryan Cranston is amazing as the obsessive dad who jumbles from one tragedy to another. Aaron Taylor-Johnson had good chemistry with Elizabeth Olsen (which will be important as they’re siblings in Avengers 2!), but when by himself just became a less charming Channing Tatum. Moments like when he was suddenly guarding a shoehorned in random Japanese kid gave him more depth than all his running around while covered in dirt scenes combined.

Godzilla here is part of a large conspiracy to cover up that there are large monsters in the world, and he’s the apex predator. The problem is when the other ones start popping up, because they begin destroying cities and causing all sorts of destruction. Things can no longer be hidden away, and soon Godzilla leaves his Pacific Atoll to destroy these new idiots. No one challenges the king.

InBad, Movie Reviews

Tom Yum Goong 2 (Review)

April 18, 2014ByTars Tarkas

Tom Yum Goong 2

aka ต้มยำกุ้ง 2 aka The Protector 2

2013
Written by Eakisit Thairaat
Directed by Prachya Pinkaew

An elephant gets stolen again, causing Tony Jaa to kick lots of people again. This time, the stunts are bigger and 3D driven, but also more CGI enhanced and less realistic, which is a shame. There is no long tracking shot like in Tom Yum Goong, and the more memorable fights are remembered because of their gimmicks, not because of their awesomeness. But that sounds like I’m bagging on Tom Yum Goong 2 a bit hard, it was still some good fun, even if it can’t live up to it’s predecessor. And let’s face it, there aren’t many martial arts films that can.

Tom Yum Goong 2 went into production in August 2011. It was delayed by horrible Thailand floods, Tony Jaa doing weird things, production infighting, Jeeja’s unplanned pregnancy, and a bunch of other problems too boring to reiterate. It’s more of a minor miracle the film was completed at all, and isn’t terrible. But the money and the problems changed a few things for the worse, and didn’t give anything in return.

The fights are now 3D, so there is less continual choreography and long shots and more 3D-ish effects, which sort of makes them worse. The made-for-3Dness makes the CGI additions a lot more noticeable, especially when you aren’t watching in 3D. But even if I was, there wasn’t that much going on that made me wish I was watching in 3D. 3D doesn’t make the kicks any harder, nor does it make the tracking shots suddenly several minutes long. All we get is a few random CGI items floating across the screen. The most creative shots they didn’t even use outside of one part, which was a POV facecam as Kham was running from a bunch of goons.

	Kham (Tony Jaa) – Kham is back and he’s still got his elephant, but now the elephant Korn is in danger…oh, wait, that happened last time. So Kham now has to beat up a lot of people…oh, wait, that happened last time! Eh, just enjoy him kicking butt!
	Ping Pong (“Jeeja” Yanin Vismistananda) – Ping Pong and her sister Sue-sue (Theerada Kittiseriprasert) walk in on Kham standing over the body of their murdered uncle, and immediately begin attacking him and chase him down. Only after an examination of the corpse does Ping Pong realize their mistake, but by then Sue-sue has been killed by Number 02. Ping Pong uses drugged needles and agility to defeat larger foes.
	Mr. LC (RZA) – Leader of an underground fighting club that does all sorts of bad things, including gun running and getting involved in international assassination attempts to foster dictatorial ambitions of warlords. He never loses, so don’t tell him he lost. His group is ranked, but he made sure to tattoo Number 00 on his head so we all know he’s the best that ever was.
	Sergeant Mark (Petchtai Wongkamlao) – Kham’s old friend from Australia is in Thailand helping out with all the diplomatic things going on, and gets involved with Kham’s latest elephant kidnapping party.
	Number 02 (Marrese Crump) – Largely silent fighter who wants to be the best fighter there ever was, and will punch whoever and whatever it takes to get there. Murders with a unique series of close blows. Has a complicated honor system, but is still pretty evil and loyal to Mr. LC. Marrese Crump was RZA’s stunt double on The Man with the Iron Fists, and got promoted to costar here.
	Number 20 (Yayaying Rhatha Phongam) – One of Mr. LC’s fighters, loyal to him because he saved her during a sexual assault and trained her in fighting so she could get revenge on her attackers.

InBad, Movie Reviews

Tom-Yum-Goong (Review)

April 17, 2014ByTars Tarkas

Tom-Yum-Goong

aka ต้มยำกุ้ง aka The Protector

2005
Written by Prachya Pinkaew, Kongdej Jaturanrasamee, Napalee, Piyaros Thongdee, and Joe Wannapin
Directed by Prachya Pinkaew

“Where’s my elephant?” – Kham, like 1000 times.

“Where’s my elephant?” demanded the small man with the big confidence. The goons stood and smirked, surely this small man was small and thus no threat. The next thing they remember is waking up in the hospital, having been kicked through the door. Thus the adventure begins as Tony Jaa searches for his missing elephants and people get the crap beat out of them from Thailand to Australia. Along the way there is a complicated plot about illegal food smugglers and amoral businesses and gang rivalries, but the plot is the least of our worries. Because Tom-Yum-Goong (or The Protector if you’re watching the American version) is the film that features a 4 minute long single take of Tony Jaa fighting his way up several flights of stairs with goons all the way. It is, quite simply, one of the most amazing fight sequences in cinema.

Tom-Yum-Goong is the followup to Ong Bak, the film that put Tony Jaa and Prachya Pinkaew on the international map. Jaa and Pinkaew would have on set troubles in all subsequent films, with the two feuding about funding and unexplained absences. Ong Bak 2, Ong Bak 3, and Tom Yum Goong 2 would all have various production problems and delays, with causes ranging from the aforementioned arguing to political strife to disastrous flooding to a marriage and a pregnancy!

Whatever future events would be, the fact is that everything aligned to make Tom-Yum-Goong an amazing action film. The choreography is amazing, Tony Jaa pulls off a huge assortment of stunts and once he gets going, will fight what amounts to a ridiculous amount of opponents on his quest to rescue his elephants. We don’t even see the beginning shot, we just see the bodyguard fly into the room to signify that Kham and begun to beat everyone up. That was an editing choice, as the initial punches were filmed, but it works so much better to have the sudden crash. Tom-Yum-Goong is filled with creativity, from the fight up the stairway that just goes on and on to the fights in a flooded temple that is visually stunning. The villains have at their disposal a near limitless amount of goons on extreme sports equipment, from inline skates to dirt bikes, all of which come riding in to beat the tar out of Kham, and all of which fail miserably. Tony Jaa and Panna Rittikrai even developed a new style of Muay Thai they called Muay Koshasan to represent an elephant fighting style. The attention to little details that have a big impact to make the film look unique is all part of the charm.

	Kham (Tony Jaa) – He’s just a dude looking for his elephants.
	Sergeant Mark (Petchtai Wongkamlao) – A Thai cop in Australia who is tangled in not only the Kham beating everyone up mess, but also a corrupt cop mess and a political killings mess. It’s very messy to be Sergeant Mark!
	Pla (Bongkoj Khongmalai) – A student turned prostitute who is forced to replay the debt of her dead relative or else she’ll be killed or worse. Helps Kham when she can. Is caught up in some political assassin intrigue, but is largely in the film for eye candy, hence her featured scene where she’s rubbing mud all over herself while wearing little clothing. Bongkoj Khongmalai is also in Dangerous Flowers.
	Madame Rose (Xing Jin) – Ascending to the head of a criminal empire is hard when even your family is against you. Luckily for Madame Rose, she’s planned ahead, and just might have a few less relatives to deal with. Think of all the money she’ll save on greeting cards! It’s almost enough to buy some black market elephants…
	Korn (???) – Baby elephant from a Jatubaht warrior family that’s stolen along with his father, Por Yai. Kham sets out to save them from their dark fate.

InMovie Reviews, Ugly

Kick Ass Girls (Review)

April 6, 2014ByTars Tarkas

Kick Ass Girls

aka 爆3俏嬌娃

2013
Written and directed by Vincci Cheuk/GC Goo-Bi

Chrissie Chau and other hot girls wearing gym outfits and beating the crap out of each other sounds like a winning idea that of course the Hong Kong government handed over a wad of cash. But Kick Ass Girls somehow managed to be a disjointed mess that somehow misses the entire idea of “girl power” in a film about female empowerment (through violence!) Still, it’s not nearly as terrible as Angel Warriors, but it won’t be on anyone’s must see list.

Kick Ass Girls has a female writer/director, which is the reason I bothered to watch it. This is the first full length film directed by Vincci Cheuk/GC Goo Bi (she previously directed a segment in 2001’s Heroes in Love), and she also appears in front of the camera as a goth assistant who secretly works for the evil boss that traps our heroines. Her goth character Amy’s silent stares are a sharp contrast to the three main girls and their bubbly personalities, which are full of energy even when they are arguing with each other (and thus doing overly dramatic sighs!)

We know none of the girls are going to die thanks to an interview framing device, which immediately destroys all suspense. They even go so far as to jump back to the framing right as the “to the death” fights begin, just to reassure you that the ladies won’t die. The fights in the middle of the film are a series of bouts where we essentially watch our heroines get pummeled by some tough girls. The fights aren’t even that bad, though if you pay attention you can detect how they edited to compensate for the lack of fighting skills among the stars.

One of the deals with Kick Ass Girls is the ladies using their sexuality to get money from men. The gym is set up to lure in paying customers, who then go for “achievements” like there is a video game, eventually earning the right to have fights with the female trainers, and probably do a lot of groping during said fight. Miu does more than just groping to a few of the clients, but her promiscuity isn’t treated as a bad thing, just a useful part of her personality set. In the most WTF part of Kick Ass Girls, Boo somehow still has her purse after they’ve been kidnapped and beaten in their first fight, and it has three complete S&M outfits inside the ladies can use to seduce their guards to escape (though the guard seems enraged instead of seduced, so who knows what is going on!) I can’t come up with a reason why they have the leather outfits (beyond giving an excuse to film the girls in leather outfits) unless 50 Shades of Grey is also popular in Hong Kong.

	Boo (Chrissie Chau Sau-Na) – Boo runs a gym called Kick Ass Girl (note the singular), she took over the gym from her parents, and used to run it with her childhood friend TT (as Kick Ass Girls), until there was a falling out, largely due to TT dating Boo’s ex-boyfriend. Is barely making rent and desperate to bring in more clients, hence she finds inspiration in Miu…
	Miu (DaDa Lo Chung-Chi) – Tricked by a gym instructor in both love and into a gym membership, Miu is full of rage. Her picking a fight with Boo leads to a job offer (helped by her flirty personality and loose morals) that’s soon packing in the adoring clients.
	TT (Hidy Yu Xiao-Tong) – Shunned by Boo due to her dating Boo’s ex-boyfriend, the friends haven’t spoken in years until Miu throws a birthday party and invites TT over.

InBad, Movie Reviews

Machi Action (Review)

March 31, 2014ByTars Tarkas

Machi Action

aka 變身

2013
Written by Giddens Ko
Directed by Jeff Chang

Machi Action is a hilarious tale of a tokusatsu hero actor who is replaced and must find a new purpose in life. The film will resonate for anyone who has lost a job and struggled through the uncomfortable period of trying to readjust their life to the new actuality. Unfortunately thanks to the Great Recession, far too many of us have experienced that reality.

A unique film in the tokusatsu genre due to the focus on the actors and decisions behind the series, instead of just a parade of easily replaceable teenage heroes. Machi Action covers all the bases, from the lame effects to generic monsters to shows growing stale due to lack of drama and repetitiveness. The visuals are largely inspired from the various Kamen Rider series, with bits of Super Sentai and Ultraman thrown in for good measure.

The success of Machi Action is due to the mix of Tie Nan’s employment struggles and the tokusatsu genre humor. The balance keeps the film grounded enough for you to feel for the character while providing plenty of joke fodder of not only the effects heroes shows, but the entertainment industry in general. 10 years and a ratings nosedive cause Tie Nan to be on the unemployment line, the hero fighting his greatest battle, trying to stay relevant in a world that has moved on. As an ongoing plot thread shows, modern children have changed, and the show’s greatest failure is being stagnant instead of moving with them. People fear change, and it’s all too easy to get stuck in a routine that becomes a rut. But the longer you put off the inevitable, the bigger the pain will be when things are finally altered. Had Space Hero Fly kept up with the times there would have been no danger, but no one looked at the big picture.

The struggles of Tie Nan becomes the struggles of everyone to adapt and change with what life gives you, while still living up to your principles and doing what you believe in. There is always the danger of someone newer and younger coming in to replace you. But don’t give up the fight!

	Tie Nan (Wilson Chen Bo-Lin) – Actor who has portrayed the tokusatsu hero Space Hero Fly for the past decade, and soon finds himself without a job. He was born to play a super hero, having pretended to be one as a child to help his sick brother deal with his illness.
	Monster (Chiu Yang-Shiang) – Actor who plays all the monsters on the Space Hero Fly show, and best friend of Tie Nan. Opened a noodle shop with his pay. His face is never seen on tv because it’s always under a rubber suit.
	FACE (Owodog Zhuang Ao-Quan) – FACE is the new exciting Space Hero actor brought in as Space Hero Face to replace Space Hero Fly and Tie Nan. Is a recording artist and dancer for maximum multi-media penetration.
	Jingfen (Chen Ting-Hsuan) – A makeup girl on the Space Hero Fly show who secretly crushes on Tie Nan. They end up together, but his esteem freefall dealing with his home shopping network stint takes a toll until Tie Nan regains his own self-respect.
	Su Ying Ying (Puff Kuo Xue-Fu) – Daughter of SUTV Chairman Su and takes over programming after being educated in America. Her first task is to deal with the ratings disaster Super Hero Fly and fix the problems. Hates the super hero show.
	Chairman Su Wu Xiong (???) – Owner of SUTV and creator of the Super Hero Fly program. It’s his wish to keep that show on the air to help give the youth good morals to look up to. Has a distant relationship with his daughter after he sent her overseas for education so she’d have a better life.

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