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Roundhay Garden Scene

Roundhay Garden Scene (Review)

Roundhay Garden Scene


1888
Directed by Louis Aimé Augustin Le Prince

Roundhay Garden Scene is one of those movies that you hear about but just need to experience. It is a visual sensation unlike any other. Oh, wait, no it’s not, it is just some people walking around for two seconds. However, as it is the earliest film made, it has a place in history that no other film can match. That will not save it from getting its just desserts here on TarsTarkas.NET!

Louis Aimé Augustin Le Prince – The director isn’t getting out of this easily. He has a long name, and that’s just ridiculous. Plus, he’s French. The biggest thing is how he went and vanished off the face of the Earth. Yep, he did a Houdini, except didn’t bother to make himself reappear. Many people have speculated what happened to him after he disappeared on a train in 1890, but a photo found in 2003 in the Paris police archives of a drowning victim looks a lot like Le Prince, so we’ll just call it case closed. Obviously he drowned on a train.
Adolphe Le Prince – Director Louis Le Prince’s son has the most prominant part in the film, walking about like a thing that walks about. Adolphe Le Prince was named for the famed German dictator thanks to his father’s other famous invention, the time machine. Le Prince also shares his father’s interest in having a mysterious death, because he turned up shot dead in 1902 in Fire Island, New York while duck hunting. Called a suicide, he was actually secretly murdered by Thomas Edison over the Equity 6928 brief. (Look it up!)
Sarah Robinson Whitley – This black-coat wearing old biddy is walking backwards, showing that even the earliest film has failed jokes. This joke was so bad it proved to be her undoing, as on October 24, 1888 (ten days after being filmed) she died at age 72. She was director Le Prince’s mother-in-law.
Joseph Whitley – His coattails are flapping because he’s a dancing fool! Joseph Whitley is also director Le Prince’s father-in-law, which would make him the husband of Sarah Robinson Whitley, and he seems awfully happy for someone who is about to be a widower in ten days. Very suspicious.
Harriet Hartley – Virtually nothing is known about this woman. Therefore, we will make stuff up. Harriet Hartley was the long-lost cousin of Harriet Tubman, she escaped on the Underground Railroad all the way to France. Hartley was instrumental in the dissolution of the Prussian government in post-WW1 Europe, and even discovered the element Hafnium. Hartley was killed in a tragic dirigible accident when someone thought it would be a good idea to bring a chimp on a dirigible.

Some people think I’m crazy for going after a 119-year-old film with no sound. “It’s the first film made, cut it some slack!” they insist. Well, they’re wrong, why should it get a free pass just because no one knew what they were doing back then? They should have known better! Director Louis Aimé Augustin Le Prince should have considered his role in cinematic history, and the fact that generations later we would still have to look at the mess he made! Garbage, complete garbage! Where is the plot? The characterizations? The color? The sound? The length beyond two seconds? Is this what passed for entertainment in 1888, right before you died of the pocks or consumption? Well, those ragamuffins and mudsill who spend their coppers to see some moving pictures deserve better. Maybe someone should use an Arkansas toothpick to give someone Jesse, which would add some excitement to the film. That would make it a huckleberry above a persimmon, instead folks are likely to go to the quilting bee or the husking frolic.

Sorry for slipping into 19th century slang there for a moment, feel free to Google those terms to find out I wasn’t just honey-fuggling you with nonsense vocabulary. So the film is basically just Adolphe Le Prince walking while Sarah, Joseph, and Harriet mill about in the background. Filmed on October 14th, 1888, it was recorded on 1885 Eastman Kodak paper base photographic film with Le Prince’s single-lens combi camera-projector. The original film does not survive, all current prints are copies made around 1930, so this is like a second generation VHS dub. Bootleg city. Not that I would ever do that.

Le Prince’s disappearance pretty much set the stage for Edison to become the only person people think of when they think of who invented the movies. It is very suspicious. One would think Edison invented the first light bulb just so he could have it flash on above his head as he got the idea to have Le Prince have an “accident.” All the mysterious deaths surrounding this film is just proof that the movie industry was created morally bankrupt, and it’s been downhill from there!

That’s it, it is history, and we are all better for it. Without Roundhay Garden Scene we wouldn’t have Casablanca. We wouldn’t have The Marx Brothers. We wouldn’t have King Kong. We wouldn’t have Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. We wouldn’t have Catman in Boxers Blow. Damn you, Le Prince!

Director Le Prince went on to make Leeds Bridge, which was a failure at the box office and began the movie slump of 1888. The MPAA blamed internet downloaders and their iKinetoscopes.

Thanks to the magic of public domain, you can watch this classic film in its entirety!


[flowplayer id=”23419″]

And when you’re done with that, check out all these neat remixes done by the Something Awful Forums! Roundhay Garden Scene Deleted Scenes

Rated 4/10 (Roundhay, Garden, Scene, 1888)


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Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (Review)

Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit


2005
Starring
Peter Sallis as Wallace
Ralph Fiennes as Victor Quartermaine
Helena Bonham Carter as Lady Campanula Tottington
Directed by Steve Box and Nick Park

The year 2005 gave us Son of the Mask, The Honeymooners, Alone in the Dark, XXX 2, Stealth, Elektra, House Of Wax, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous, The Perfect Man, Kingdom of Heaven, The Cave, Into the Blue, Fantasic Four, War of the Worlds, Alexander, The Island, Bewitched, The Greatest Game Ever Played, Man of the House, and Cry_Wolf. More horrors are undoubtedly on the way, such as Bloodrayne. There were a few bright spots, but out of the darkness comes a beacon so bright it blinds all competition. Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit is too good of a movie to have come out of this year. It is a miracle. A beacon of hope. A sign of things to come. Wallace and Gromit are the first in a wave of decent films that are due out, and they are a sight for sore eyes. Hollywood has been complaining all summer about their being in a box office slump, then they release another weekend of garbage. Deservedly, people are staying home and staying away. Sure, Episode III, Sin City, Batman Begins, all decent, but not enough to keep people going to the lesser fare. Smaller productions such as Broken Flowers entertained but didn’t get much exposure, nor would they appeal to the masses as they weren’t designed to. Mot of the best films I saw this year were foreign films from 2004 or earlier, such as Kung Fu Hustle, Kontroll, Oldboy, and The Warrior. W&G is a great film. Everyone will love it, unless you are dead inside.


Broken Flowers

Broken Flowers (Review)

Broken Flowers


2005
Starring
Bill Murray as Don Johnston
Jeffrey Wright as Winston
Sharon Stone as Laura
Frances Conroy as Dora
Jessica Lange as Carmen
Tilda Swinton as Penny
Julie Delpy as Sherry
Alexis Dziena as Lolita
Directed by Jim Jarmusch

Just when you think 2005 will go down in history as the year good movies became endangered species, we get an entry that shows us there is still life yet in celluloid land. Bill Murray, reprising his lonely man role he’s been fine tuning in recent films such as Rushmore and Lost in Translation, teams with independent writer/director Jim Jarmusch of Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai fame in a film that gives us a man’s journey and self-discovery and some other clichéd sounding plot devices, yet the movie turns out better than it sounds. This is in a large part due to the massive amount of talent throughout the picture, in addition to the two I named previously. Murray is Don Johnston, a ladies man in his later years, who receives and anonymous letter from one of his former flames telling him he has a son he never knew he had who is now old enough he has come searching for his father. Don Johnston does not know which woman it could be, as there are five possibilities.

Love So Divine (Review)

Love So Divine

aka Shinbu sueob

2004
Starring
Kwon Sang-woo as Kim Kyu-shik
Ha Ji-won as Yang Bong-hie
Kim In-kwon as Shin Son-dal
Kim In-mun as Father Nam
Kim Seon-hwa as Sister Kim
Love So Divine

Ha Ji-won from Sex is Zero and Kwon Sang-woo from My Tutor Friend come together for a romantic comedy where Jesus is the third wheel in the love triangle! Unlike Ha Jiwon’s previous film we saw here, there are no abortions, thank goodness. For once the Catholic Church being against them comes to an advantage, as it doesn’t turn this comedy into a huge tearfest out of the blue. No one gets knocked up regardless. The film deals with Catholicism and priests, yet does so in a respectful way that is neither controversial nor offensive. The light-hearted tone of the movie makes the story flow better, as it wouldn’t be well received if it was set up as a depressing melodrama or a creepy “Priest becomes obsessed with some girl” movie. Ha Jiwon seems to be cranking out the Romantic Comedies lately, hopefully I can get my hands on some more of them. This movie will make you say Deo Gratias about the Korean Romantic Comedy industry, even if I didn’t like it as much as some of the others, I just wanted to work in a phrase from the movie. So, Deo Gratias you crazy diamond!

Love So Divine

Saving Face

Saving Face (Review)

Saving Face

Saving Face
2004
Starring
Michelle Krusiec as Wil (Wilhelmina Pang)
Joan Chen as Ma
Lynn Chen as Vivian Shing
Jessica Hecht as Randi – Hospital Co-Worker
Ato Essandoh as Jay – Neighbor
Directed by Alice Wu
Saving Face
A first time writer and director, low budget, and a seeming Asian Lesbian hook, this film seemed like just another gimmick artsy film to play before five people in one of the dirty theaters in town before it gets replaced by a film about Mexican Day Laborers in 1950’s Quebec who are also drug running escorts called Inherit My Skin. Yet it was better than I guessed it could be, or even deserved to be based on the low amount of buzz it’s seeming to get on the indie set. An entertaining drama about life in the Asian American community as reality, freedom, and secrets meet traditional notions of life, family, honor, and saving face. It’s a lot better than that line I just typed, trust me.
Saving Face

My Tutor Friend

My Tutor Friend (Review)

My Tutor Friend

aka Donggabnaegi gwawoehagi

2003
Starring
Kim Ha-neul as Su-wan
Kwon Sang-woo as Kim Ji-hoon
Baek Il-seob as Ji-hoon’s Father
Kim Ji-woo as Ho-kyeong
Yu Kong/Gong yoo as Jong-soo

Ever had your tutor and you develop and attraction to each other? No? Not even once? What, are you being tutored by ugly guys or something? Oh, that’s understandable. They can’t all be Mary Kay Laturno. Nor can they all be Kim Ha-neul! Another movie full of wonderfully expressive faces, be they goofy, smug, smirking, frightening, humorous, or just plain cute, this girl is fun to watch. (Previous films of hers here are Too Beautiful to Lie and Dead Friend.) Kwon Sang-woo also stars as tough guy Kim Ji-hoon. Kwon Sang-woo is a Korean heartthrob, he goes on to star in Love So Divine which will show up here in a week or two. Yu Kong from Spygirl also appears, as a completely different character than his romantic lead in Spygirl, instead playing a lame gang leader who’s sole function seems to injuring Ji-hoon’s fist by repeatedly slamming his face into it over and over. This also brings up another point that makes this film good, when the film gets too sappy or boring, we get a fight sequence, and not a boring fight, either. The chemistry between Kim Ha-neul and Kwon Sang-woo is wonderful, nothing is forced and you can easily lose yourself in the story. The minor characters are finely crafted as well, this is one of the better romantic comedies to come out of any country.