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Bigfoot

The Heat looks hilarious

As in I will murder you to get a spot in the audience opening night hilarious. A buddy cop movie with Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy, directed by Paul Feig? That alone would get me in the theater, but the trailer is one of the funnier ones I’ve seen in a while, and hints at far greater things in the film itself. The Heat is already getting buzz just from the trailer today, so imagine how things will snowball by release date next year! Buy stock in snow companies stat!

Uptight and straight-laced, FBI Special Agent Sarah Ashburn (Sandra Bullock) is a methodical investigator with a reputation for excellence–and hyper-arrogance. Shannon Mullins (Melissa McCarthy), one of Boston P.D.’s “finest,” is foul-mouthed and has a very short fuse, and uses her gut instinct and street smarts to catch the most elusive criminals. Neither has ever had a partner, or a friend for that matter. When these two wildly incompatible law officers join forces to bring down a ruthless drug lord, they become the last thing anyone expected: buddies. From Paul Feig, the director of “Bridesmaids.”

via BeyondHollywood

The Heat

Bigfoot

The Host infects with a second trailer

Did you camp out overnight to watch Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 and now have wait until Stephanie Meyer writes some more books? Luck is on your side, as her other book, The Host, is already becoming a flick and just released the second trailer.

In the future where alien jerks called Souls have wiped out most of humanity and parasitized most of the survivors, the few real humans left include a pair of young hot and heavies known as Jared Howe and Melanie. But Melanie is captured and implanted with a Soul named Wanderer. Wanderer must not have spent much time at the Soul Gold Gym as it’s weak and doesn’t take full control of Melanie, enough that she can convince the alien to go looking for Jared so they can rekindle their romance. And also find her family but who cares about that crap? It’s all about the young love and will there be werewolf teens running around shirtless? Those are the important Stephanie Meyer plot details.

Saoirse Ronan is Melanie, Max Irons (how is that a real name?!?!?!) is Jared Howe, and Jake Abel, Diane Kruger and Frances Fisher costar.

Will America embrace this tale of alien parasite love? Will people make lots of Trill jokes? Do people even remember what a Trill is? No one loves DS9… =(

via MTV, who now plays trailer premieres but still no music videos.

Saoirse Ronan

My alien parasite is Little Red Riding Hood???

Bigfoot

It's time to play some Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

More YA fantasy is headed to the silver screen as the universe rushes to find the next Twilight before Twilight reboots itself. This attempt to gain the box office prize is Mortal Instruments: City of Bones, the first film in what is a six book urban fantasy series (which means at least seven films when we separate the last book into two parts again…) that features half-angels battling demons, and one girl who is the key to defeating the forces of evil. And from the plot synopsis, no love triangle, unless that nerdy guy from the trailer is also a love interest. Clary Fray has the power to see all these invisible angels and demons because of stuff given away in the trailer, so watch the trailer. The last Mortal Instruments book isn’t even out yet, which means it could all end horribly as well, and that’s not counting the prequel and sequel series. The Mortal Instruments series is written by Cassandra Clare, the script is written by Jessica Postigo, and Harald Zwart is the director. Lily Collins is the not ridiculously named Clary Fray, Jamie Campbell Bower is Jace Wayland, and Robert Sheehan is Simon Lewis, Kevin Zegers is Alec Lightwood, and Jemima West is Isabelle Lightwood.

Guess I should spend 20 minutes and read the books one day. Just so I can be smug during the film with what is missing.

When fifteen-year-old Clary Fray heads out to the Pandemonium Club in New York City, she hardly expects to witness a murder—much less a murder committed by three teenagers covered with strange tattoos and brandishing bizarre weapons. Then the body disappears into thin air. It’s hard to call the police when the murderers are invisible to everyone else and when there is nothing—not even a smear of blood—to show that a boy has died. Or was he a boy?

This is Clary’s first meeting with the Shadowhunters, warriors dedicated to ridding the earth of demons. It’s also her first encounter with Jace, a Shadowhunter who looks a little like an angel and acts a lot like a jerk. Within twenty-four hours Clary is pulled into Jace’s world with a vengeance, when her mother disappears and Clary herself is attacked by a demon. But why would demons be interested in ordinary mundanes like Clary and her mother? And how did Clary suddenly get the Sight? The Shadowhunters would like to know…

Anyone else think this film series writes it’s own porn parody titles?

via MTV

Mortal Instruments City of Bones

The entire city is filled with Dr. Leonard McCoys!

Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie bursting from a landfill near you!

Love him or hate him, there is no denying that The Angry Video Game Nerd has become an important figure in the world of internet reviewing of video games and in the world of calling things a shitload of fuck. But say what you will of the annoyance of the billions of copycat “angry” reviewers who think mixing swear words together is humor, at least James Rolfe makes his shows entertaining and informative beyond the poo jokes. So there is no denying that Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie will be divisive at best and the cause of endless flame wars at worst. And it looks filled with the same type of humor and budget that makes up his reviews, only shot on location and with a story that lasts longer than 20 minutes or so. A plot built around the urban legend about the Atari ET cartridges that were buried in the desert after destroying the video game boom of the 80s, which quickly blooms into aliens, government conspiracies, zombies, robots, and all sorts of craziness. I’ll give it a whirl, who knows? And I actually played the ET Atari game as a kid. Because I’m awesome.

“Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie” is a passion project by independent filmmakers James Rolfe and Kevin Finn, based on the popular web series. The film is being produced outside the studio system, entirely funded by fan donations. Principle photography took place in Spring of 2012, in the Los Angeles area, with Jason Brewer as the DP. Additional filming is taking place on the East Coast. Editing is in its early stages.

The film is inspired by the famous Atari video game burial of 1982. Atari produced a game based on the biggest blockbuster movie of that year, E.T., and rushed it to meet the deadline for the Christmas shopping season. It was a commercial failure and millions of unsold game cartridges were buried in a desert landfill in Alamogordo, New Mexico. Coincidentally, it’s not too far from Roswell, the landing site of a different kind of E.T.

The Trailer features music by Bear McCreary (Battlestar Gallactica, The Walking Dead). The track is called “Maverick Regeneration” and can be downloaded as part of the Play for Japan album. All proceeds go to help earthquake victims in Japan.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/play-for-japan-the-album/id450785090

The film is expected to be completed in the summer of 2013, but only time will tell. Independent films take a long time to finish. This one is no exception. It’s eventually expected to be released on DVD and/or Blu-ray, and to be available around the world, after showing to some live audiences in theater venues. Digital downloads is also an option. The immediate goal is to finish the film first.

See updates on James Rolfe’s personal site
http://cinemassacre.com.

ET 2600

Who would bury this Mona Lisa???

Oz the Great and Powerful has finally sold me


I was wary and cautious, but now I want to see Oz the Great and Powerful. Whether or not it will be good, I do not know, but it will be interesting at least. There is enough imagery that can work both with the 1939 film classic and with the original books. There are flying monkeys both good and evil, witchcraft and magic, and even that city made of ceramics that I sort of vaguely remember but might be confusing them with Utensia and other Oz cities I remember more clearly. Time to reread all the books thanks to the magic of public domain! Raimi is a good story teller when he’s not trying to jam too much into things thanks to studio interference. Let’s just ignore the fact the landscape vaguely resembles that Alice in Wonderland flick from a few years ago. As an Oz snob, I shall be looking at this with a more picky eye than usual. And if this films sucks I’m going to take my army of kalidahs and woozies and burn down Hollywood. Again.

Disney’s fantastical adventure “Oz The Great and Powerful,” directed by Sam Raimi, imagines the origins of L. Frank Baum’s beloved character, the Wizard of Oz. When Oscar Diggs (James Franco), a small-time circus magician with dubious ethics, is hurled away from dusty Kansas to the vibrant Land of Oz, he thinks he’s hit the jackpot–fame and fortune are his for the taking–that is until he meets three witches, Theodora (Mila Kunis), Evanora (Rachel Weisz) and Glinda (Michelle Williams), who are not convinced he is the great wizard everyone’s been expecting. Reluctantly drawn into the epic problems facing the Land of Oz and its inhabitants, Oscar must find out who is good and who is evil before it is too late. Putting his magical arts to use through illusion, ingenuity–and even a bit of wizardry–Oscar transforms himself not only into the great and powerful Wizard of Oz but into a better man as well.

Oz the Great and Powerful stars James Franco, Mila Kunis, Rachel Weisz, Michelle Williams, and Zach Braff and directed by Sam Raimi

Oz The Great and Powerful
Oz The Great and Powerful
Oz The Great and Powerful
Oz The Great and Powerful
Oz The Great and Powerful
Oz The Great and Powerful
Oz The Great and Powerful
Oz The Great and Powerful
Oz The Great and Powerful

Yellow Line

Dungeons & Dragons: The Book of Vile Darkness rolls a d20 on SyFy!

November 24th is the SyFy premiere of Dungeons & Dragons: The Book of Vile Darkness, the third feature in the Dungeons & Dragons film franchise. It’s got floating hands, the Phantom of the Opera, exploding dudes, a chick who makes goths look like amateurs with all her piercings and tattoos, a giant orcish dude, a CGI dragon, and smokey swords. It looks craptacularly delicious!

Two thousand years ago, Nhagruul the Foul, a sorcerer who reveled in corrupting the innocent and the spread of despair, neared the end of his mortal days and was dismayed. Consumed by hatred for the living, Nhagruul sold his soul to the demon Lords of the abyss so that his malign spirit would survive. In an excruciating ritual, Nhagrulls skin was flayed into pages, his bones hammered into a cover, and his diseased blood became the ink to pen a book most vile. All those exposed to the book were driven to madness or so corrupted by the wicked knowledge contained within that they had no choice but to turn evil. Misery and bloodshed followed the disciples of Nhagruul as they spread their Masters dark dream. Creatures vile and depraved rose from every pit and unclean barrow to partake in the fever of destruction. The cities and kingdoms of Karkoth were consumed by this plague of evil until an order of warriors arose from the ashes. The Knights of the New Sun swore an oath to resurrect hope in the land. The purity of their hearts was so great that Pelor, the God of Light, gave the Knights powerful amulets with which to channel his power. Transcendent with divine might, the Knights of the New Sun pierced the shadow that had darkened the land for twelve hundred years and cast it asunder. But not all were awed by their glory. The disciples of Nhagruul disassembled the book and bribed three greedy souls to hide the pieces until they could be retrieved. The ink was discovered and destroyed but, despite years of searching, the cover and pages were never found. Peace ruled the land for centuries and the Knights got lost in the light of their own glory. As memory of the awful events faded so did the power of servants of Pelor. They unwittingly abandoned themselves in the incorrect belief that the Book of Vile Darkness could never again be made whole

Don’t worry if you didn’t know there was a third Dungeons & Dragons film, because that also means you don’t know there is also a fourth one in production! don’t forget to check out our reviews of the original Dungeons & Dragons and the surprisingly okay first sequel, Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of the Dragon God. Will The Book of Vile Darkness keep up the trend? Ask our friends in the UK, as the flick is already on DVD there!

Dungeons & Dragons The Book of Vile Darkness
Dungeons & Dragons The Book of Vile Darkness