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Jurassic Attack trailer!


Fangoria premiered the trailer for Jurassic Attack, one of a pair of films from Titan Global Entertainement we mentioned a while back.

While returning from a military expedition a helicopter crash lands a commando unit in a dense, remote tropical jungle – a lost world populated by dinosaurs. Now they must find a way out of this isolated valley before becoming prey for prehistoric predators.

Anthony Fankhauser directs and the flick stars Gary Stretch, Alicia Ziegler, Israel Saez De Miguel, Natascha Berg, Vernon Wells, and Corin Nemec.

Corin Nemec also revealed on twitter he’s heading off to film Poseidon Rex, the other of the two Titan monster flicks, so expect more info about that film in a short while!

Fangoria via DreadCentral
Jurassic Attack

Dreams for Sale

I am So Undercover it hurts!


Why haven’t we heard more about the upcoming Miley Cyrus direct to VOD classic So Undercover? Probably for the reasons you just saw when you watched the trailer, aka it’s going to be garbage. Such garbage. Miley Cyrus is a tough PI? Who has to go all Sister Act in a sorority full of sisters? Someone reinforce the doors of the local video store, because there’s going to be a stampede to get So Undercover on February 5, 2013!

She may be a tough-as-nails, street-smart private investigator, but when total tomboy Molly (MILEY CYRUS) is drafted by the FBI to go undercover within a college sorority, she finds that she’s way out of her class among a sisterhood of snooty, high maintenance, materialistic college girls.

However, Molly accepts the pledge to protect one of the society debs, who holds key information that will be used at a trial where her father is about to turn State’s evidence and testify against the mob. Despite being the opposite of her new “sisters,” Molly has to suck it up and bond with obnoxious upper crust trust fund babies if she’s going to succeed in her top-secret mission, in Millennium Entertainment’s action/comedy, “So Undercover.”

Miley Cyrus hair

Housewives from Another World

Upcoming SyFy fun – Tasmanian Devils, Abominable Snowman, and Battledogs!

Tasmanian Devils Dancia McKellar

Wonder THIS!


SyFy is continuing to bring us the best in monster mayhem in 2013! First up is Tasmanian Devils on January 19, featuring Dancia McKellar (Winnie!) and Apolo Ohno as basejumpers who battle giant killer Tasmanian devils! Zach Lipovsky directs. The trailer is the one embedded below.

January 26 gives us Abominable Snowman, starring Ardian Paul and Chuck Campbell. Not much info about the film is out there, except that it used to be called Deadly Descent: The Legend of the Abominable Snowman and has been sitting around since 2011. This must mean quality, quality, quality. I hope the Abominable Snowman rips dudes in half. That’s what I want in a good yeti movie.

Finally, SyFy’s twitter feed mentioned another 2013 flick – Battledogs! From what I could figure out, Battledogs is a retitle of a film called Wards Island, starring Dennis Haysbert, Craig Scheffer, Ariana Richards, Kate Vernon, Ernie Hudson and Wes Studi! No word on how the dogs will be battling, but hopefully it involves dogs ripping people in half.

This isn’t the end of the SyFy 2013 features…this is only the beginning!

Via SyFy and Dreadcentral

Tasmanian Devils

It will be the ultimate holiday with A Madea Christmas

This is like 10 Christmases in 1, because not only are we getting a Madea Christmas-themed movie, but Larry the Cable Guy (Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector) will be costarring! Based on yet another of Tyler Perry’s plays, A Madea Christmas

sees Madea getting coaxed into helping a friend pay her daughter a surprise visit in the country for Christmas. Their arrival, as the rural town prepares for its annual Christmas Carnival, prompts secrets to be revealed and old friendships test. Oh, and Madea dishes her special brand of spirit to all.

Chad Michael Murry, Tika Sumpter, and Kathy Najimy also star. Expect this to make 2013 the Year Christmas Was Awesome!

via THR
photo via

Larry the Cable Guy Santa

The gene-splice ain't nice in The Chimeran

Chimeran

Richard Bazley and Star Wars Producer Gary Kurtz are teaming up with an independent film called The Chimeran, about a future where animal/human hybrids are used for cheap labor.

The story focuses on a secret camp where the government have created an experimental society with Chimerans, genetically bred-for-purpose hybrids, at the heart of their community. They work the fields and look after the children in the camp, becoming integral tools in the production of food and goods. It’s a test to see if it could work on a national scale and solve the world’s mass production problems in a sustainable fashion. The problems come when it becomes clear that the chimerans, although they were made for production and farming – like knives and axes before them – can also be used as weapons.

The concept sounds awesome and is inspired by Planet of the Apes and District 9, both great things to draw influence from. It also sounds like there is a lot of H.G. Wells Dr. Moreau influence.

The official synopsis is:

When wannabe god Professor Beachell De Vries creates an intelligent and powerful Chimeran worker race to save his son’s life and the economy; their camp becomes a battleground for the very future of the human race.

Oliver is a ten year old boy dying of a degenerative brain disease. His best friend is his dog, Bobby; an elderly golden retriever with a similarly negative life expectancy.

The only way Beach can save his son’s life is to break the ultimate taboo – growing hybrid brain tissue; an illegal and immoral act that would forever change the world.

With oil powered mass production machinery lying unused and derelict, the Government look to Beach’s technology to grow their own work force. Getting “back to nature” with a pollution free economy powered by ‘working animals’ – The Chimerans.

Based loosely on the subjugation of slaves in the US in 1800’s, The Chimeran highlights a worrying path of genetic manipulation happening right now and points out that it’s a path that’s been trodden before.

The official site is here and is packed with amazing concept art.

Chimeran

In the future, LOLs will be genetically modified!

Chimeran

Link Duties Unit vs. Hitler

Muppets

We’re back again with a bunch of links to stories that I didn’t have time to turn into their own posts and also links to cool reviews from around the web. So let’s get busy!

**The Muppets 2 will be released on March 21st 2014.

**Someone uploaded the complete 166 page screenplay for Django Unchained as a .pdf, if you are curious to see what didn’t make the final cut.

**50 Shades of Grey will be NC-17 according to the film’s writer, Kelly Marcel. This is probably news to everyone else involved with the film, who aren’t about to sink a ton of money into a project that will get an NC-17 rating and kill the box office returns. Or it’s just a publicity stunt. Either way, will not happen.

**Pang Ho-Cheung is following up his hit film Vulgeria by producing a sex comedy called SDU: Sex Duties Unit. He’s also slated to direct Women Who Know How to Flirt Are the Luckiest.
SDU Sex Duties Unit

**The Hebrew Hammer is getting a sequel! In The Hebrew Hammer vs. Hitler, Mordechai Jefferson Carver comes out of retirement and teams up with Jesus to go back in time to fight Hitler. Hell yeah!

**The nephew of George Soros (yes, that George Soros) is named Jeffrey Soros, who leads the board of directors for Los Angeles’s Museum of Contemporary Art and is making his first feature film, Basmati Blues. Basmati Blues will be shot entirely in India and stars Brie Larson (21 Jump Street.) They are currently looking for a male lead who is Indian (which is shocking and awesome at the same time!)

**Ninja Dixon observes Santo and the Vengeance of the Mummy!

**Pulp Curry talking about Night Moves!

**Cinematic Catharsis gets down with Funky Forest: The First Contact!

**Pre-Code takes the Cimarron challenge!

**HBO signs ten year deal with Universal, tells Netflix to shove it!

**Who wants an All Quiet on the Western Front remake/new adaptation starring Daniel Radcliffe? Because that’s what we’re getting.

**I hope you want another Ben-Hur, because that’s what we’re getting. Remember, the Heston version is also a remake/new adaptation.

**Fake but awesome “evidence” of Russian animal experimentation.

Until next time, remember to eat your ice cream!
Uranium Ice Cream