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Jem and the Holograms the Misfits

Jem and the Holograms keytar their way to a movie!

Jem and the Holograms the Misfits

Buffered up by a huge fanbase and 80s nostalgia, Jem and the Holograms is finally, finally getting a feature film. I am proud to admit I watched this show like crazy as a small child because I was awesome.

Jem and the Holograms is like a precursor to Hannah Montana, where instead of a wig disguising Miley Cyrus’s identity, Jerrica Benton has a complicated holographic projection system called Synergy that allows her to disguise her identity as Jem, thus becoming a rock superstar. Various plots involve Jem and the Holograms battling against their rival band, The Misfits, who were managed by embittered former label executive Eric Raymond, who used to control the record label that Jerrica took over. Jem and the Holograms also had a pack of orphans dubbed the Starlight Girls, because that meant they could make many more dolls (though I’m not sure if any of the orphans did have dolls! It was also a way to pump the cast full of diverse characters while keeping the main doll line white enough for good toy sales….) Let us never forget Stormer, the good member of the Misfits, and the only one who played the keytar (there was no keytar player in The Holograms, but I like the post title regardless.) Eventually the second rival band The Stingers popped up, and The Misfits often found themselves being forced to team up with Jem to take The Stingers down.

The biggest drama is the love triangle between Jerrica, Jem, and Rio Pacheco. Rio is sort of a jerk chasing after both women (unaware they are the same woman!) There were occasionally people trying to steal the Synergy system to do bad things, and Jem and the Holograms characters would occasionally cameo on GI Joe or Transformers because they were all animated by the same companies and reusing animation models is cheap!

This new version will be live action and produced by Jason Blum, Scooter Braun, and Jon M. Chu. They’ve released a video seeking fan ideas and inspiration and it looks like they are fully embracing social media engagement. I do notice that everyone involved so far is a dude. Maybe get a female director, guys? Because that would be truly outrageous.

UPDATE: Like right after I wrote this Variety came out with more info, Jon M. Chu IS directing, and the plot is:

Project will reimagine Jem for a hyperlinked social media age, the producers say, and revolve around an orphaned teenage girl who becomes an online recording sensation, she and her sisters embark on a music-driven scavenger hunt –- one that sends them on an adventure across Los Angeles in an attempt to unlock a final message left by her father.

As Scooter Braun is the guy who snagged Justin Bieber from YouTube fame, this sort of makes sense, but hopefully it comes together into something cooler than it sounds.

via THR

achmed saves america jeff dunham

Jeff Dunham goes Family Guy with Achmed Saves America!


Fun Fact: When Wee Tars was little, he enjoyed the comic stylings of Jeff Dunham and his Woozle named Peanut. But as Wee Tars turned into Fully Grown and Embittered Tars, he realized Dunham’s comedic stylings were largely based on weird racial stereotypes.

Speaking of comic stylings based on weird racial stereotypes, Jeff Dunham’s totally not a weird racial stereotype character Achmed the Dead Terrorist now has his own animated movie, because the terrorists were right or something.

Are you ready to see Achmed the Dead Terrorist like he’s never been seen before? Well then get ready for ACHMED SAVES AMERICA, Jeff Dunham’s first animated film starring the beloved dead terrorist, coming in March 2014!

When Achmed visits Americaville, USA, he’s mistaken for a visiting French exchange student as he plots to destroy the town and all of its “infidels”. But once he’s exposed to all the sweet things America has to offer — including all-you-can-eat buffets and frozen yogurt — Achmed’s campaign of hate turns into a patriotic All-American loveliest.

ACHMED SAVES AMERICA arrives on DVD and Blu-ray March 18th, and premieres on CMT March 28th!

Yes, you can watch Achmed Saves America now on DVD (disclaimer: Amazon referral link), or just wait until the end of the month to watch in on Country Music Television. From the trailer above, it’s obviously a film that should be seen by everyone to enjoy! I’m kidding, it looks like weird Family Guy/American Dad slash fiction. If anything, the animated film serves to reinforce the view that Dunham gets away with offensive humor due to it coming out of puppets, because now the offensive humor comes in animated form, which is also usually overlooked by critics at large. Have I mentioned critics who do this are dumb as hell? Because they are.

Achmed Saves America looks like it’s the old “America is totally cool and will win over everyone” story, where even the evilest bad guy becomes all America. And that’s not that off the mark, as even Osama Bin Laden had lots of American porn on his computer. Finally, a source of American pride that both sides of the aisles can agree on. USA! USA! USA!

Earth Defense Widow Dan Mitsu

Minoru Kawasaki is back with Earth Defense Widow!

Earth Defense Widow Dan Mitsu

Minoru Kawasaki is back with another crazy kaiju adventure with Earth Defense Widow (地球防衛未亡人)! This time, we follow former geisha girl and current member of the Earth Defense Force (and as mentioned, newly widowed) Dan as she battles a new kaiju Bemularsu that killed her husband. The problem is she gets sexually aroused whenever she battles the monster. As you can guess, that’s sort of a problem. And also the plot! Gravure model Dan-Mitsu plays Dan, and Minoru Kawasaki got two tokusatsu veterans with Kohji Moritsugu (Dan Moroboshi of Ultra Seven) and Shunichi Okita (Ichiro Yamanaka of Ultraman Ace) You’ll also recognize some of the cast from Kawasaki’s prior films. This is his third entry in the “Delusional Tokusatsu” series, the prior ones being 1987’s Earth Defense Girl Iko-cahn and 2013’s Earth Defense Girls P9.

Of course the real question is will there be anyone wearing animal costumes? It looks like sadly, no. But maybe one day we’ll get the animal costumes versus kaiju film we’ve all been dreaming of!

Earth Defense Widow came out in February, so hopefully it will make it Statesside soon!

via CrunchyRoll

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cookie monster les miserables

Cookie Monster IS Les Mousserables!

cookie monster les miserables

Sesame Street brings us the latest Cookie Monster movie parody: Les Mousserables! I’m not a big Les Mis fan, but I’m sure all the theater fans will love it.
Jean Bon-Bon is a very sad French guy in pursuit of cookies in the streets of Paris. He must figure out a way to survive and help his fellow Parisians find cookies.

Jean Bon-Bon (Cookie Monster) both learns to identify other people’s feelings and how to take their feelings into consideration and share the wealth. I’m sure Fox News will be condemning this once they learn how to watch videos on their computer. Get it? Fox News is full of old people.

The video is pretty funny, and even has some nice Snuffleupagus-themed French Architecture, something someone needs to build immediately! It’s also a better film than the recent actual Les Misérables film, which was terrible because it was directed by someone who won an Oscar for Best Director and then promptly directed a film that looks worst than what I shot when I left the video camera on when it was in the camera bag. Tom Hooper almost invented an Oscar recall with this crap. Perhaps he should learn a thing or two from this video about learning about feelings.

The White Haired Witch of Lunar Kingdom

The White Haired Witch of Lunar Kingdom drops a trailer!

The latest version of The Bride with White Hair comes out April 25th, and the trailer has just been released. The White Haired Witch of Lunar Kingdom白发魔女传 – stars Fan Bingbing as Lian Nishang, the woman whose hair turns white when she’s betrayed by a man. Huang Xiaoming is the man Zhuo Yihang. Judging from the scenes, the movie carves its own path and doesn’t follow any of the previous film adaptations. As I’ve not seen a translated version of the original story, I don’t know if it is following that or is wholly unique. The amount of time Lian Nishang has white hair is limited, so just how quickly she goes all white hair revenge I don’t know.

It’s a big budget wuxia flick from Mainland China – which doesn’t have the best track record. Jacob Cheung directs, and he has directed 2006’s A Battle of Wits, which came out at the time China was dropping tons of historical action films every week. It certainly wasn’t the worst of them, so perhaps things will be interesting enough.

The White Haired Witch of Lunar Kingdom

The White Haired Witch of Lunar Kingdom