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The Cookie of Oz Sesame Street

The Cookie of Oz starring Cookie Monster!

Cookie of Oz Sesame Street

Sesame Street has dropped another awesome Cookie Monster film parody, this time bringing us a take on The Wizard of Oz that also teaches children to learn to listen to directions, and even to use mnemonic devices. Cookie Monster is Dorothy, and if he wants to find the legendary Cookie of Oz, he’ll need to listen and follow the directions of Glindigestion, who burps her way in and out of the short. There is a Cookie Tin Man and flying monkeys to round out the cast. The important thing is we all learn to listen. Or something like that, I wasn’t paying attention! ::hit by flying monkey::

If Cookie Monster wants to find the Cookie of Oz, he must remember the directions. He must follow the chocolate chip road, do the opposite of what the cookie tin man says, and finally, go through the Emerald Green door. See the world turn from black and white to color in The Cookie of Oz.

Watch it below! See, now you are learning to listen to directions…

Zone Fighter 25 凄絶! ゾーン・ゴジラ対恐獣連合軍

Zone Fighter Episode 25 – Seizetsu! Zoon Gojira tai Kyoujuu Rengougun

Zone Fighter Episode 25 – Seizetsu! Zoon Gojira tai Kyoujuu Rengougun

aka 凄絶! ゾーン・ゴジラ対恐獣連合軍 aka Bloodbath! Zone & Godzilla vs the United Terror-Beast Army! aka Carnage! Zone & Godzilla vs the Allied Terror-Beast Forces
Zone Fighter 25 凄絶! ゾーン・ゴジラ対恐獣連合軍
1973
Written by Yoshihisa Araki
Directed by Kengo Furusawa

March of Godzilla 2014

Zone Fighter goes all Judge Dredd all of a sudden!

Finally, the Garoga grow a brain and unleash an attack on Zone Fighter that could possibly work, drowning him in monster foes. Unfortunately, they don’t go full force with the idea, and Godzilla shows up to beat up some of the spare monsters.

Zone Fighter 25 凄絶! ゾーン・ゴジラ対恐獣連合軍

The Cheerios Bee was a tougher opponent than these guys!


Though five monsters appear – Mogranda, Spideros, Garaborg, Jikiro, and the new monster Kabutogirah – there are dozens of capsules shown that the Garoga have, and they even toss them all around Tokyo in preparation for a massive attack. Instead, the attack is sort of minor, some monsters appearing solo and others attacking just outside of town. The only way the massive monster strategy could be successful is if they throw out dozens of foes, so this holding back is weird.

The Garoga launch a whole slew of Terror-Beast missiles featuring some old favorite terror-beasts, and also some awful terror-beasts. No explanation for why they aren’t dead, but whatever! These are all the twin brothers of the dead monsters. Yeah, that’s it! The amount of returning monsters who were destroyed earlier is complicated because I don’t know if to classify them as new versions of the monsters, or as just the monsters themselves reappearing because they “got better”. Even more confusing, Jikiro appears again, but the last time we saw him, he was Super Jikiro. I find it hard to believe the Garoga would go to the trouble of downgrading one of their Terror-Beasts, so the reversion is doubly weird.

Zone Fighter 25 凄絶! ゾーン・ゴジラ対恐獣連合軍

A mint condition 1973 Super Jikiro!


Another explanation is the terror-beasts are recreated after each use, reincarnated like they are Cylons or something. This means that each of Zone Fighter’s murders of them are meaningless as far as killing them to destroy them goes, because they’ll always come back. It also means that the monsters will remember their defeats by Zone Fighter, which should in theory make them better combatants each time Zone and them fight. That doesn’t bear itself out, so maybe this theory is bunk as well. Or maybe the terror-beasts are just that stupid.

Several of the terror-beasts appear because Garoga combine together to becomes the terror-beast, while others are created from living things, mutated into terror-beasts. Most appear to be of unknown origin, whether they are captive animals mutated into monsters each time they need something to fight Godzilla, or even from breeding stock of creatures about the Garoga Space Station, stored in the terror-beast capsule form, or in pre-mutated animal form. If the reincarnation theory is true, would terror-beasts created from living things (such as Garoga Gorilla and Jellar/Kastom-Jellar) become part of the rotating terror-beast stable, or are they outside the instances of terror-beast reincarnation? This whole concept is more and more deeply troubling the more you think about terror-beasts and their origins. Their possible innocent status makes Zone Fighter look more like an evil bloodthirsty madman than his violent actions do on their own. And that’s pretty violent.

Zone Fighter 25 凄絶! ゾーン・ゴジラ対恐獣連合軍

I have all the rare vinyls! eBay Sniper 4 Lyfe!~~


Unfortunately, just like all the other mysteries, we’ll never know the definitive answer due to the series being abruptly cancelled with no known followup.

This episode is also notable for being the last appearance of Godzilla on the show. Godzilla just shows up out of the blue to help with the situation, one thinks he’s attracted to the large amount of kaiju bioenergy in the area due to the influx of terror-beasts. Godzilla fares the poorest of all his Zone Fighter adventures, almost losing against two weak opponents until Zone Fighter saves him (to be fair, he saved Zone Fighter first) Godzilla does finish off one of the monsters.

The original monster for episode 25 is Kabutogirah, who is a creature with dreadlocks and fashionable sunglasses. He’s in the prologue sequences with the other monsters, and emerges to fight Zone Fighter about halfway through the episode. He does a terrible job and is murdered, not even scoring a spot in the final battle. This makes him one of the lamest terror-beasts in show history, even when highly subsidized by other monsters, Kabutogirah isn’t even close to a threat.

If you need a refresher of all these monster monsters, check out the Zone Fighter Splash Page

Zone Fighter 25 凄絶! ゾーン・ゴジラ対恐獣連合軍

Bug Crew

Blood Lake Attack of the Killer Lampreys

Asylum’s Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys trailer

Blood Lake Attack of the Killer Lampreys

Needs more blood and more lake


The trailer for Asylum’s Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys has been posted by Entertainment Weakly, which deserves the derisive nickname for assigning the article to a writer who doesn’t even know what the heck a lamprey is, and spends a whole paragraph copying from Wikipedia. Good job there, that money you saved from firing your film critics is paying off in dividends, EW!

But enough complaining about failing media juggernauts, Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys is one of the creature feature films that will be premiering on Animal Planet (speaking of failing media juggernauts…), which has decided that nature can go screw itself and fake reality shows and killer monster movies are the future of nature documentaries. Sadly, the ratings are proving them right (okay, so they aren’t failing, just failing in their mission!)

Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys stars Shannon Doherty, Christopher Lloyd, and Jason Brooks. Brooks and Doherty are Mike and Cat, who have moved to the new town so Mike can help Mayor Akerman (Lloyd) deal with the lampreys. Yada yada yada, swipe from Jaws and bring buckets of blood. Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys airs May 25th. More information on Animal Planet’s sudden interest in becoming SyFy is available here.

via EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Spring Breakers

Spring Breakers 2 and Maniac Cop remake announced

Spring Breakers was the best film of 2013, so of course it’s going to get a terrible-sounding sequel minus Harmony Korine’s involvement. That’s just life’s way of destroying everything you love. Wild Bunch is the production company that made the announcement of Spring Breakers 2 along with a whole slate of films, part of which will have production details released during Cannes. As a testament to this being internet movie news, no one cares about Abdellatif Kechiche’s The Real Wound, Arnaud Desplechin’s Three Memories of Childhood, or Abel Ferrara’s Welcome to New York, because none of those films will allow sites to post pictures of bikini-clad Disney stars for that extra pageviews juice. I also fully admit that’s what I’m doing, because I’m not only ripping open the curtain the man is hiding behind, but also the man behind the curtain!

Spring Breakers: The Second Coming will feature the Spring Breakers battling an extreme militant Christian sect that attempts to convert them. Yes, this sounds like some sort of Lifetime movie, but stay with me here. Irvine Welsh wrote the script and Jonus Akerlund (Spun) is directing. Spun didn’t suck, but it wasn’t insanely brilliant like Korine’s films, so expect something interesting but just a hollow imitation. No word on returning cast members beyond declaring it not a direct sequel, but this is the kind of concept you don’t need them to return, you can easily get a whole new pack of Disney stars fresh off sitcoms and looking to foster a more mature image in an attempt to get more serious adult roles.

As for the Maniac Cop remake, it’s got a script finished by Ed Brubaker (Captain America 2) and is being produced by Nicolas Winding Refn (along with original director William Lustig), which makes me waaaaaay more excited than the Spring Breakers 2 news. The director will be announced at Cannes.

Wild Bunch also announced a new untitled Paul Verhoeven film, an adaptation of the book Oh! by Philippe Djian, a rape and revenge story. Verhoeven returning I am excited about, rape and revenge I’m not, almost everything possible with that scenario was done by all those direct to video films in the 80s and 90s.

Other films announced include Gaspar Noé’s Love and Isao Takahata’s The Tale Of The Princess.

Spring break forever!

via ScreenDaily

Spring Breakers

Zone Fighter 24 針吹き恐獣ニードラーを倒せ

Zone Fighter Episode 24 – Harifuki Kyoujuu Niidoraa-wo Taose

Zone Fighter Episode 24 – Harifuki Kyoujuu Niidoraa-wo Taose

aka 針吹き恐獣ニードラーを倒せ aka Smash the Pin-Spitting Needlar! aka Defeat the Needle Shooting Terror-Beast Needlar
Zone Fighter 24 針吹き恐獣ニードラーを倒せ
1973
Written by Yuji Amamiya
Directed by Ishiro Honda

March of Godzilla 2014

Let’s see who you really are…OH MY GOD THE BLOOD ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!

Zone Fighter is back again with a very spooky episode that finally has the Garoga doing very creepy things that aren’t weird. It’s also got Needlar in the title, despite Needlar barely being in the film. But kids aren’t going to care about the creepy atmospheric story, they just want to seem Zone Fighter punch some monsters in the face and then murder them. And, yes, Zone does murder poor Needlar, who had it coming, because he’s named Needlar and barely shoots needles. Way to abandon your gimmick, bro!

Zone Fighter 24 針吹き恐獣ニードラーを倒せ

Battle for the Domed City of Mars!


What the meat of this episode is, is the village where everyone has been hypnotized by the Garoga into being their slaves, causing them to march in formation during rainy nights and ignore their surroundings. The Garoga treat the workers as disposable, because there are plenty more slave humans around. The end game seems to involve Garoga turning the humans into cyborgs, the exact reasons for which is lost in the unsubtitled Japanese, but probably for ease of them being slaves. So in some sense, the Garoga are the original Borg. The Gaborga.

Another interesting thing happens, which is the Mighty Liner drives off a cliff and explodes. Never fear, the Zone Family somehow were thrown clear of the vehicle despite the doors being closed and the windows unbroken, and are thus lightly injured. But the Mighty Liner is a total loss. Which means it’s back by the next episode, with no explanation given. Zone Family mechanics are just that good. Or maybe they have a whole crate of Mighty Liners. Whatever the true answer, it’s probably dumb.

Zone Fighter 24 針吹き恐獣ニードラーを倒せ

Either I took too much LSD again, or Zone Fighter has gone to plaid!


I’ll take back my comments on Ishiro Honda slumming in the last episode, because here he isn’t slumming. I would say he made a conscious decision which episode would be better and then focused all his energies there. In particular, this episode features large scale scenes shot at night with rain effects, and spooky lighting such as green-tinted bulbs illuminating people. It’s impressively done, and keeps the mood spooky enough that you don’t miss the monster action, instead wondering just what the heck is going on. The only problem is it eats up much of the monster time, and Needlar sort of sucks.
Zone Fighter 24 針吹き恐獣ニードラーを倒せ

Needlar has tossed his Orange Julius at Zone Fighter. This violent act goes too far!


But…Needlar’s death scene is BLOODY AWESOME! Because it’s bloody, and awesome. Let’s just say Needlar loses his head over his death sequences. And sprays hoses full of blood all over while doing so. Maybe he should be called Hosar. This graphic death is weird for what is essentially a childrens’ show, and sort of counter to the spooky atmosphere. The whole giant monster sequence escapes the boundaries of the episode’s tone, so that’s not too surprising. Overall, this becomes a solid episode for Zone Fighter. If you need a refresher on Zone Fighter, drop by the Zone Fighter Splash Page.
Zone Fighter 24 針吹き恐獣ニードラーを倒せ

Children, we may play enemies on television, but I assure you we are both good friends in real life. Not good enough to get an invite to Needlar’s wedding, but close enough.

Zone Fighter 23 大恐獣バクゴンの秘密

Zone Fighter Episode 23 – Dai Kyoujuu Bakugon-no Himitsu

Zone Fighter Episode 23 – Dai Kyoujuu Bakugon-no Himitsu

aka 大恐獣バクゴンの秘密 aka Secret of Bakugon: The Giant Terror-Beast! aka Secret of the Great Terror-Beast Bakugon
Zone Fighter 23 大恐獣バクゴンの秘密
1973
Written by Masaru Takesue
Directed by Ishiro Honda

March of Godzilla 2014

Come and get it, you Bouillabaseball playing mofo!

The Secret Garoga Plot in Secret of Bakugon: The Giant Terror-Beast! is so stupid that it makes the craziest Cobra plots from GI Joe look sane and rational. The Garoga plot to make several children believe that a junk yard is really a secret garden, thus they’ll get some ruined clothes and light scrapes. This means they’ll all have to get tetanus shots, thus depleting the worldwide supply, destroying humanity! The long-term plan might be some ridiculous plot to mind control the entire population of the planet, but no one really seems focused on that. They even have smaller tests before the elaborate children delusion, which rules out that this was just a test phase. This is the REAL DEAL plan!

Zone Fighter 23 大恐獣バクゴンの秘密

Trumpy! You can do magic things!


The plot is so ridiculously lame that it sinks the entire episode, and even a cool monster design like Bakugon cannot save it. Bakugon is like an ALF/anteater hybrid that shoots flames out of his nose and has a metal backpack full of fuel for said flames. It is cool to see a monster that’s obviously a mammal, far too many are variations of dinosaurs or other lizards, or even more human monsters. Bakugon has fur, we need more fuzzy kaiju. Plus he’d make a great rug in front of the fireplace!

There is a great philosophical crisis because the main evil Garoga splits himself from disguised as one human female to disguised as a human female and a small boy. Essentially being in two places at once and being two people. The question is if the Garoga became two Garoga, or if it was able to control both bodies simultaneously without adverse effects and keeping them doing separate projects but still under the same mind. Becuase if the Garoga became two Garoga, this is some serious business. It could be real, because we’ve seen Garoga merge and form terror-beasts before. So why couldn’t a Garoga split into two by mitosis? Or are the Garoga all under one mind? Though that doesn’t seem to jive with how the Garoga act in every other episode, so it’s highly unlikely. What we get is another great Garoga mystery that will never be solved.

Zone Fighter 23 大恐獣バクゴンの秘密

I know every rose has its thorn, but this is ridiculous!


A mysterious lady in all black (so obviously Garoga it hurts) is causing delusions in people – a family is on a road trip when it’s suddenly revealed they’re driving on the train tracks! And that somehow causes all of them to fall out of their car when dad slams on the breaks! Uh….. HUH?? Also some guy hallucinates that he’s water skiing while he’s really in a field, and is laughed at, but still, the whole family fell out of their car. How does that work? I’m so confused…
Zone Fighter 23 大恐獣バクゴンの秘密

We’re on strike until we get real pants!