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Ironfinger 2 Golden Eye

Ironfinger 2: Golden Eye

Ironfinger 2: Golden Eye

aka 100発100中 黄金の眼 aka Hyappatsu hyakuchu: Ogon on me aka 100 Shot, 100 Killed: Golden Eye aka Booted Babe, Busted Boss
Ironfinger 2 Golden Eye
1968
Written by Jun Fukuda, Ei Ogawa, and Michio Tsuzuki
Directed by Jun Fukuda

Ironfinger 2 Golden Eye
Ironfinger 2: Golden Eye returns to the world of Ironfinger. We have international criminals, jet setting fun, and a hero who is invincible kicking butt. As usual, the title changed for overseas export. 100 Shot, 100 Killed: Golden Eye became Ironfinger 2: Golden Eye, though in some locales it was turned into Booted Babe, Busted Boss! Those poor saps… The “Golden Eye” of the title betrays more of the Bond influence, for the few who couldn’t figure it out from the Ironfinger part, or for the Japanese audience. This is the last outing of Andrew Hoshino, so cry your tears now and then read all about it.
Ironfinger 2 Golden Eye
The tone is slightly altered in that Andrew Hoshino’s organization is hinted to be more criminal in nature, though Andrew himself is given a few more noble things to do. He’s pulled in under the story of avenging the murder of a Japanese citizen upon request of his young daughter. It turns into a quest to find the missing rare Samanta Gold coin, though that is just part of a bigger economic criminal conspiracy.

Golden Eye features world locations,Besides Japan, the opening of the film is in Beirut! This may seem amazing to modern audiences that anyone would spend time in Beirut, but things weren’t always the way they are now. Another thing Ironfinger 2 has is sheiks in blackface (also seen in Yellow Line). The characters are played by Japanese actors, but are painted up dark brown and treated as if they’re foreign. Both a good police officer and several of the villains feature this treatment. Also both of the Ironfinger films feature big boss villains who are Caucasian, though both are European in origin. I would guess this is to show both that the Japanese hero can defeat anyone in the world, including what would be considered traditional Bond villains, and that Japanese people can’t be the big villain because they aren’t evil, and it’s people outside their culture affecting their life.

A highlight of these Ironfinger films is the killer 1960s clothing. Every outfit Bibari Maeda wears is spectacular. The cool clothes help make the fun lifestyle easier to accept, as they’re dressed just like cool people, so they would naturally do cool things.
Ironfinger 2 Golden Eye
Andrew Hoshino has a pair of women to deal with, though his darker affiliation is reveal again as bad girl Ruby is who he is paired with the most, Mistuko Saito functions as a catalyst to get the plot to the various locations, but she’s far too busy being a star to drop everything to run around with a playboy spy. Freelance bad girl Ruby easily slips into this role, her various connections with Andrew happening frequently

The far more complicated plot deals with economic problems of late 1960s Japan, hidden treasure, and even a hint of environmentalism thrown in. The whole thing hinges on a missing rare gold coin, but the real crime is wholesale precious metals smuggling used to hold hostage parts of Japan’s economy. It seems like it should be a modern film, the economic battle having played out in a modified form in real life. Golden Eye thankfully just uses that as backdrop and keeps the focus on the missing rare coin, giving audiences who don’t understand complex economic issues something to follow, while those who are aware have an insight into why the villains have so many high powered goons.

Andrew Hoshino (Akira Takarada) – The mystery man is back and just wanders into the big trouble this time. Little is explained of who he is or who the mysterious Mama is (and the subtitles didn’t realize it should be Mama and not mother!) If anything, less is known, because he’s still using the Andrew Hoshino identity that he picked up in the last film.
Ruby (Beverly/Bibari Maeda) – Information broker and knife expert hired by Stonefeller to assist, but she’s playing her own game. Continually runs into Andrew Hoshino. Beverly Maeda is best known in the West for her role in Son of Godzilla. She also put out albums and her son is Claude Maki, a surfer/actor/rapper.
Mitsuko Saito (Tomomi Sawa) – Singer and race enthusiast, returning to Japan in an attempt to gain fortune and glory. Instead, finds murder and rich killers, but somehow gets through it all with only a few scratches. Tomomi Sawa was a singer who was in a scattering of films and tv shows before disappearing into the ether.
Detective Ryuta Tezuka (Makoto Sato) – The good detective returns, now a member of an international police force and doing work in Beirut. Has been recast from Ichiro Arishima to Makato Sato, and he plays the part more as a tougher detective than the unassuming Tezuka of the prior film.
Stonefeller (Andrew Hughes) – The bad boss who in search of missing rare gold coin treasure in the midst of his other illegal activities. His precious mineral supply manipulation attracts the attention of international police, but it’s the rare gold coin that brings him down. Is blind, but uses a powerful microphone to know what is going on. Andrew Hughes pops up in more Japanese cinema than you would believe, including the amazing The Golden Bat.
Sinbad (A good doggy!) – Sinbad is Stonefeller’s loyal pooch, who is sadly left behind in Beirut and will have to find a new master as his meets an unfortunate ending. A sad tale for poor Sinbad.

Ironfinger 2 Golden Eye

Ironfinger

Ironfinger

Ironfinger

aka 100発100中 aka Hyappatsu hyakuchu aka 100 Shot, 100 Killed
Ironfinger
1965
Written by Michio Tsuzuki and Kihachi Okamoto
Directed by Jun Fukuda

Ironfinger
The world of 1960s spy films is a crazy place, filled with all sorts of local infusions of the James Bond formula. Jun Fukuda drops a pair of flicks that take inspiration from the jet-setting spy and the local Japanese yakuza and crime films. Like all good 60s spy flicks, things aren’t taken 100% serious, and Ironfinger is practically an action comedy. The era wardrobe and locations give flavor that can’t be reproduced any more, and our hero Andrew Hoshino runs around from country to country on his own agenda, that’s not as innocent as it first appears.
Ironfinger
Ironfinger is a movie of the world. It’s original title translates to 100 Shot, 100 Killed, but it’s given a James Bond-esque retitle for overseas release. Andrew Hoshino himself is a man of the world, French-born Japanese who speaks both languages, as well as English, with ease. His “vacation” sees him embroiled in an international weapons smuggling conspiracy that reaches all over the Pacific Rim, running from Japan to Hong Kong to the Philippines. Ironfinger speaks five languages, has characters who get angry because the wrong language is being spoken, yet the story is universal enough to be entertaining to everyone.
Ironfinger
Andrew Hoshino plays the innocent tourist caught up in crime and continually referencing his Mama. but it becomes abundantly clear that he’s more than he appears, but never so clear you understand just what he is. Secret agent, criminal, Interpol? Your guess is as good as anyone else’s. Even his name isn’t his own, he acquires it from the passport of a murdered friend. Hoshino has a string of running gags, beginning with where he’s constantly losing and getting back his hat (originally his murdered friend’s hat), the hat containing a concealed weapon. Hoshino is also constantly captured, spending the majority of the running time in custody of one gang or another. Yet he always manages to escape through the power of his mouth or his skills, falling upward and into the arms of beautiful women.

Ironfinger and its sequel Golden Eye were best known for the strong Godzilla alumni connection. Both star Akira Takarada and costar Akihiko Hirata had roles in the original film and many subsequent sequels, but Bond girl Mie Hama also pops up in a few Toho kaiju flicks. Director Jun Fukuda has long been connected to the franchise, even helming Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster, Son of Godzilla, Godzilla vs. Gigan, Godzilla vs. Megalon, Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla, ESPY, The War in Space, and episodes of the Zone Fighter tv series. These connections helped bump Ironfinger up the list for a Criterion release, and both Ironfinger and Golden Eye look fantastic and have nice subtitles. As these reviews are based on the streaming versions, I did not view any extras.
Ironfinger

Andrew Hoshino (Akira Takarada) – A third generation Japanese-Frenchman on vacation and caught up in a criminal conspiracy. Is constantly talking about his Mama and bumming cigs. But Andrew Hoshino is also a crack shot and adept at identifying and taking out dangerous people. He knows things about the arms dealer he’s hunting and his true affiliation is not revealed. But he gets the job done, does it really matter? In the universe of Ironfinger, not really.
Yumi Sawada (Mie Hama) – Contract bomber for the Akatsuki who recognizes the game has changed once Andrew is in play, so moves her pieces to his side of the board. Is having the most fun out of anyone in the cast.
Detective Ryuta Tezuka (Ichiro Arishima) – Blue collar detective who is sucked into this secret agent cool criminal underworld to track down an arms dealer. Always looks like he doesn’t belong, yet also is perfect for being in the middle of the action.
Komori (Akihiko Hirata) – Contract killer for the Aonuma family, who really works for the shadowy figure behind the arms dealing. Also is familiar with Yumi Sawada. Is ordered to take out Andrew Hoshino before he gets too close.

Ironfinger

Sleepy Hollow Blood Moon

Sleepy Hollow S01E02 – “Blood Moon”

Sleepy Hollow Blood Moon
Sleepy Hollow “Blood Moon”
Written by Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman, and Mark Goffman
Directed by Ken Olin

Sleepy Hollow Blood Moon

The worst charity car wash.


Sleepy Hollow returns with another episode that brings the WTF, while still having a few hokey and cheesy parts. The important thing is the level of good to bad is at least equal to the pilot, and arguably better.

We see Sheriff Corbin’s funeral, and find out that Sleepy Hollow has a radio station that plays Sinatra’s Witchcraft at opportune times. But beyond all that, this is the first time we see the snazzy opening credits, which is largely people standing in the dark woods while spooky things happen.

Sleepy Hollow Blood Moon

I don’t like this new gritty Pez reboot


The Headless Horseman barely appears, outside of a dream sequence in the beginning. He rides with the other three Horsemen of the Apocalypse, including a guy with a demonic helmet who is instantly the one rider I care about. Ichabod is dreaming they are after him, then is saved by his wife who gives him a warning about the army of evil people who will do evil stuff to pave the way for the really evil people.
Sleepy Hollow Blood Moon

Forget the Headless Horseman, I want to know about the Gremlin Darth Vader Horseman!

The Cheating Pact cribs onto Lifetime!

The Cheating Pact

Wait, it’s still cheating even if I don’t get caught??!


In The Cheating Pact, high schoolers conspire to cheat to get good test scores. But someone ends up dead and another framed. What to do? The answer should be…to cheat death! But it’s not because someone was asleep at the switch. So the plot:

Three high school students, Heather, Kylie, and Jordan, under pressure from their parents to get into good colleges, convince a shy but very smart girl, Meredith, to take the College Entrance Test for them. After Meredith gets a low score on one of the tests, she winds up dead in a mysterious accident, and now all three kids are suspects in her murder. Heather soon finds that she is being framed for Meredith’s murder by the other two and must team up with her mother, Brenda, to prove her innocence.

Don’t these kids know they should have joined a Cheaters’ Club instead? Oh, wait, that turned out bad as well…

My favorite part of the trailer on MyLifetime is that one of the guys looks like a rejected Taylor Lautner clone.

The Cheating Pact stars Daniela Bobadilla, Cynthia Gibb, Paula Trickey, Jamie Luner, Laura Slade Wiggins, Bruce Thomas, Max Carver, and Laura Samuels. It airs September 28th, and remember that this is the final film of the Watch and Win Sweepstakes where you can be bribed to watch Lifetime Channel!

Temptress of 1000 Faces

Cookie Monster is a super spy in The Spy Who Loved Cookies!

I was not joking when I said I was looking for excuses to talk about Cookie Monster.

The nefarious Lady Finger has stolen the Crown Cookies! Only Agent Double-Stuffed Seven, aka Cookie Monster, can save the day…if he bothers to listen to directions! Featuring computer effects, Bond song riffs, and Cookie Monster running into doors.

A funny parody that has a lesson to be learned about following instructions. Helped by Cookie’s boss telling him the directions in such a complicated way! Good grief, be more direct, please. The skit was longer than I thought it would be, I am guessing because they were so happy to cram as much as possible that they could.

Cookie Monster has been in increasing visibility as the new season of Sesame Street starts. The scandal with Elmo/Kevin Clash is probably the main reason, Cookie Monster is another visible monster alternative that adults and children love. No offense to Zoey or Abby Cadabby, but I didn’t grow up with them and have less emotional attachment. My children will, and I would expect them to gain some prominence this season and possibly used in some of the promotional material going into next year (and maybe the new Elmo, but I’ve never been 100% fond of Elmo!) Other monsters have various problems: Grover is rather intense and was eclipsed by Elmo far too much. Two-Headed Monster is mainly about cooperation and speaks mostly gibberish. Harry is rarely used despite him being a favorite of mine as a kid. Telly is too Telly to be in many ads. Oscar would be cool, but his attitude limits the scope of the parodies. And some of the classic Sesame Street performers must be getting up there in years.

Now, with all the vampires in the media, why isn’t The Count more prominent? I demand more Count! Also Oscar’s pet worm Slimey. He’s a worm named Slimey, people!

Sorry, here are a bunch of stills I took from the video because it’s too awesome not to take many stills from:

Cookie Monster Spy who loved Cookies

Cookie Monster Spy who loved Cookies

Cookie Monster Spy who loved Cookies

Cookie Monster Spy who loved Cookies

Cookie Monster Spy who loved Cookies

Cookie Monster Spy who loved Cookies

Temptress of 1000 Faces

Atlas Shrugged mooches its way to a third installment!

Disco Stu trends

If there is one group of people who demonstrate time and time again they have no concept of the Free Market, it is libertarians. Despite lack of banking regulation destroying the world’s economy, they call for less regulation. Glorious Libertopia would feature for-profit schools, for-profit police, for-profit military, and for-profit everyone having nukes. And, yet, none of this libertarian heroes bothered to move to Somalia when there was no government there. I wonder why…

The Free Market has told the film adaptation of Atlas Shrugged to go take a hike not once, but twice! Both times, the films bombed, obviously due to Obama and the liberal media spreading lies about Atlas Shrugged. It certainly isn’t because the films are ridiculous, the story God-awful, and the ideology bankrupt and disgusting.

So doing what any good fighters against beggars and parasites would do, Atlas Shrugged has turned to Kickstarter to get Part III in theaters in time to lose money before the 2014 election.

The producers are quick to point out that they aren’t asking for the full amount, no! They only want $250,000 to supplement the $10 million budget. First of all, $10 million my foot! Someone is skimming off the top or inflating the budget (probably both!) Secondly, the $250,000 goal is stated to just be for the free publicity that Kickstarter provides. Now, Kickstarter provides no free publicity, but blog posts making fun of this action do. So in a small way, I am helping Atlas Shrugged Part III out. But in a realistic way, I’m not, because most people who drop by TarsTarkas.NET aren’t Libertarians who would be unaware that the Atlas Shrugged Kickstarter is underway. The news of the third film will have been promoted all over Wingnut websites across the WWW, in between the latest stories of how Obama did 9-11 because he’s an Illegal Communist Nazi Muslim and screaming diatribes to shut down the government, except for that Social Security money we all rely on.

Wingnut Welfare is a real phenomenon, and the producers of Atlas Shrugged must be exceptionally bad at it to require a final dose of free money directly from the rubes. Heck, even Joe the Plumber somehow has managed to make a nice existence off of free money from billionaires. This means the producers burned some very powerful bridges either through incompetence or just terrible interpersonal skills. Again, probably both.

Atlas Shrugged: Who is John Galt?
(the official title) has no announced cast despite a fall 2013 filming date. People looking at your calendars might note that it is currently fall 2013. As the original film had almost the entire main cast replaced for the first sequel, I think we shall see a repeat of that phenomenon.

Atlas Shrugged Part I made $4.6 million on a $20 million budget. Atlas Shrugged Part II made $3.3 million on a $10 million budget. If these trends continue, I suggest investing your money in disco record sales like Disco Stu says!

Producer Harmon Kaslow says “The day we launch the Kickstarter campaign, haters are going to come alive. They’re going to come after us in droves, attacking us everywhere online.”

To Mr. Kaslow I say “Hi!”

Kickstarter intentionally not linked.

Via HollywoodReporter