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Night of the Lepus RiffTrax

Night of the Lepus – New RiffTrax VOD!


Break out your honey bunnies, because RiffTrax is back with a new VOD, the legendary Night of the Lepus! Yes, giant bunnies are on a rampage, and this isn’t your momma’s Peter Cottontail riots. Never fear, Dr. McCoy himself, DeForest Kelley, is on hand to deal with the rabbit menace. But can you stop giant rabbits that breed like rabbits? Will someone make a giant carrot bomb? How many Bugs Bunny jokes will our Riffers make? Heck, there is at least one in the description!

Buy RiffTrax Night of the Lepus here!

RABBIT! The very word strikes fear into the heart of anyone with a very strange definition of the word fear! Their very existence seems to bring terror, what with their gnawing on vegetables and hopping and…twitching their little tails… Starring in a surprisingly wide array of beloved books, cartoons, and other children’s entertainment, OK, look, rabbits aren’t scary, at all. But what if, through a combination of terrible editing and confusing camera angles, we pretended like they were very big? Hey, where are you going!

So it goes in Night of the Lepus (Latin for rabbit, as characters frequently remind each other and the audience.) When rabbits overrun a farmer’s land, he turns to a local scientist for a cure rather than poison them. Thus the true message of this movie: poison rules. When the scientist’s cure backfires, the rabbits grow to enormous size and the real conflict begins: that of the special effects team vs the movie producers who evidently budgeted next to nothing for the special effects team.

Using an innovative technique known as “replaying the same damn shot over and over again” the makers of Night of the Lepus manage to create the eerily convincing sensation that you are watching normal sized rabbits run towards a camera in slow motion. Occasionally they run across the screen right to left in slow motion. That Cadbury commercial where the rabbit clucks like a chicken is infinitely scarier. So is the mustache that DeForest Kelley sports in this movie.

Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for Night of the Lepus, the least scary thing involving rabbits since Bugs Bunny dressed up like a woman and seduced Elmer Fudd.

Night of the Lepus RiffTrax

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Lean away from the Lean In movie!

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Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In: Women, Work, And The Will to Lead has been optioned for a film, in a move that becomes less surprising when you realize Nell Scovell has been set to write the script, as she co-wrote the book with Sheryl Sandberg. Scovell has vast industry connections, being a veteran television writer and director, so its a natural that she would know enough people with money to get a film done, despite the fact the book doesn’t really have a story narrative. But I really don’t have a problem with the insider connections or lack of existing narrative aspect of this deal.

What I do have a problem with is Lean In. Lean In is painted as a pro-feminist book to help women in the workplace achieve all sorts of goals, that’s become a “movement” based on selling the Lean In brand. But it’s not quite what it claims to be. As articulated by others with much better feminism credentials than I, Lean In is basically a co-opting of feminism in a packaged and controlled form. A sort of faux feminism, that ultimately doesn’t really do much of anything except draw attention away from actually recognizing and solving issues.

My problems with Lean In aren’t that Sandberg is rich or white or cis or likes business stuff or that she wrote her story without consulting every academic feminist with letters after their name. None of that is ultimately important when it comes to what feminism is: Everyone being equal regardless of gender. But Sandberg’s book isn’t the vehicle for that change.

The biggest problems swooped in when Lean In switched from a book to a foundation. The book spends much of its time telling women to do more for work so they can get more at work, in addition to all family responsibilities. Much of the suggestions are unrealistic for all but those that are wealthy enough to afford the free time to put in more time. The book strives to be apolitical, not really addressing how things in society can be changed to help women, putting everything on the women to succeed themselves (or as part of their “Lean In” groups!)

Gender issues are political. Every day politicians make decisions that affect women. Gender issues have affected many major elections, for example Republicans who can’t shut up about rape:
Todd Akin and “legitimate rape”, Richard Mourdock saying pregnancy from rape was a “gift from God”, Wisconsin State Assembly member Roger Rivard saying “Some girls rape easy”, congressional candidate John Koster talking about “the rape thing”, Rep. Steve King saying he’s never heard of a child getting pregnant from statutory rape or incest, Rep. Joe Walsh ignorance in medical advances: “There’s no such exception as life of the mother,” Walsh told reporters following the debate. “And as far as health of the mother – same thing. Advances in science and technology. Health of the mother has been, has become a tool for abortions any time and for any reason.” All of those politicians lost except Rep. Steve King, and Mitt Romney and the Republican leadership had to condemn and condemn their own people, who refused to step aside. Black women were the deciding voice in the Virginia governor’s and attorney general’s races. Wendy Davis became a folk hero due to her filibuster against abortion restrictions and has moved on to running for governor. Sandra Fluke’s testimony on birth control became a lightning rod of ignorant comments and hateful statements from professional pukes. This isn’t an issue that can be separated from politics like a spaghetti strainer.

So of course Lean In honors a Republican Congresswoman with a voting record that’s historically anti-woman. Because Lean In isn’t about feminism, it is not about empowerment. It’s about a brand. A brand that doesn’t pay female interns (until outcry forces the matter!). A brand they can control, and tell women that empowerment is just working harder, not social issues. A brand that makes you feel good, but ultimately does nothing. A brand that can disrupt real advancement for women because that might interrupt the Boy’s Club in charge of much of Silicon Valley.

They even have competition from Makers, a brand that wants to reset the agenda for women in the workplace in the 21st century.” yet can’t be bothered to invite any labor union leaders to its fancy workplace meeting. Never fear, Sheryl Sandberg was invited, because there’s nothing more incestuous than the boards of Silicon Valley companies.

So, yeah, I think the movie will suck.

Piranha Sharks

Piranha Sharks teaser trailer!


Piranha Sharks, which we reported on a bit ago, has dropped a trailer where things look like a fun old time! Piranha Sharks (a bioweapon) are instead sold as novelty pets, but soon the novelty wears off and the chomping of bodies begins. Luckily there are some slackers to rise up to the occasion. Because that’s how it works now.

Great white sharks, bio-engineered to be the size of piranhas, are mass marketed and end up terrorizing the city of New York when they get into the water supply and do what great white sharks do best.

Piranha Sharks is directed by Leigh Scott and stars Collin Galyean, Josh Hammond, John Wells, and Noel Thurman. Its being released through Red Sea Media. Will Piranha Sharks make it to SyFy, with the network drastically cutting back it creature feature movies? It will remain to be seen, but I would start saving your pennies for buying Piranha Sharks on VOD.

Via Fans of SyFy Facebook Page

Piranha Sharks

Piranha Sharks

Piranha Sharks

Lego Movie

The Lego Movie (Review)

The Lego Movie

Lego Movie
2014
Story by Dan Hageman & Kevin Hageman and Phil Lord & Christopher Miller
Screenplay by Phil Lord & Christopher Miller
Directed by Phil Lord & Christopher Miller

Lego Movie
The Lego Movie constantly refrains the song “Everything is Awesome!” throughout the film, and though the song is presented as a joke because things aren’t awesome, it best describes The Lego Movie. Because everything is awesome. Phil Lord and Christopher Miller took a toy commercial and traditional hero’s journey narrative and turned it into a celebration of tossing out instructions and a collectivist uniting against conformity and conservatism. Also it’s fun and hilarious.

The unlikely group of heroes unite against President Business, who controls the entire world and wants things to stay just the way they are. He gets incensed when things are built that don’t follow the rules or are weird. His reign has seen the Lego city become a virtual police state where everyone follows a huge list of rules and destroys anything out of the ordinary to be replaced with construction that follows the rules. The people are lulled into accepting their reality with glee, thanks to control of television and music, where every show is Where’s My Pants? and every song is the aforementioned “Everything is Awesome!”
Lego Movie
The resistance becomes a celebration of individuality vs marching to the same drum beat. The Lego Movie encourages you to build what you want, and not worry about if your projects conflict with what someone expects you to do. While President Business seeks his stagnant perfection, the real progress and fun comes from the chaos of creation.
Lego Movie

Emmet Brickowoski (Chris Pratt) – Emmet is the most average man who ever averaged, and even when he follows all the rules (and there are a lot of rules), no one seems to remember him much at all. But things change when suddenly the Piece of Resistance is stuck to his back, and it looks like he has a prophesy to fulfill. If he can just be interesting!
Wyldstyle (Elizabeth Banks) – A Master Builder who searches for the Piece of Resistance and finds it on Emmet. She mistakenly thinks he’s much more powerful than he actually is. But despite her disappointment, she becomes part of the inspiration for Emmet to rise up beyond his lot in life. Is dating Batman.
Vitruvius (Morgan Freeman) – Wise sage who prophesies the downfall of Lord Business and the Piece of Resistance. He’s blinded, and later begins training Emmet, though there is little time for actual training. Has trouble telling Gandalf and Dumbledore apart.
Batman (Will Arnett) – The best movie Batman since Adam West. The caped crusader joins the mission to save the universe because he’s Batman and that’s what Batman does. He’s dark. Also he’s dating Wyldstyle, in between making his music. FYI, people in the audience cheered when Batman showed up.
Lord/President Business (Will Ferrell) – Lord Business is President of the Lego city and controls all aspects of it, in a creepy Big Brother way. He’s also a super villain, who has stolen an artifact that he plans to use to end the world (which involves freezing it in place.) That is, unless he’s stopped by The Piece of Resistance!

Lego Movie
Minor spoilers below the fold!

The Good Mistress lifetime

The Good Mistress vs. The Evil Man on Lifetime!

The Good Mistress lifetime

I’m so good when I’m so bad!


Men suck, luckily Lifetime brings The Good Mistress in to take down one such evil man:

Sandy, a young woman struggling to recover from alcoholism and a tragic automobile accident caused by her addiction, moves to a new town where her high school friend, Karen, has offered her a job. After becoming involved with a mysterious gentleman, Sandy soon finds herself in jeopardy when she discovers that he is actually Karen’s husband, Sam, a candidate in the county elections and a suspect in a murder investigation.

Geez, Sandy, way to pick a good one there! Sam runs the gauntlet of being a Lifetime Channel Evil Man – cheats on his wife, good guy persona, secret murderer, is named Sam, politician. By the time he’s killed at the end of the film (or thrown in jail, either one), we’ll all be screaming for him to go down.

The Good Mistress stars Annie Heise, Kendra Anderson, Antonio Cupo, but there isn’t a lot of information about it out right now except that synopsis. Seriously, it’s on in two weeks, maybe you could get a little bit of publicity information out, Lifetime? This one small image isn’t going to cut it! All we know is the title is designed to make us think of The Good Wife, which this sounds suspiciously like it was the starting idea they created their own film from.

The Good Mistress premieres February 15th on Lifetime!

The Girl he Met Online Lifetime

The Girl He Met Online is more internet danger tales from Lifetime!

The Girl he Met Online Lifetime

The dangers of meeting women online include spraypaint!


People on Lifetime need to stop meeting people online, because The Girl He Met Online is like the fourth “Met Online” movie where horrible horrible things happen. Instead of OKCupid, they get NO-KCupid! Just last year we got The Husband She Met Online, and before that was The Boy She Met Online and The Wife He Met Online. This is a franchise no one knew about, but everyone needs to know about. Stay away from the online!

Sexy 23-year-old Gillian has no trouble attracting men, but her bipolar moods scare them off. Once dumped, her anger knows no bounds. She’s on better behavior with man-of-her-dreams Andy, until her boss and mother push her into a corner and Andy’s sister dies as a result. The only question now is whether Andy himself will fall prey to the girl he met online.

Will she get him, with her online anger? Let’s hope so, because online rage in movie form can only be awesome. Lifetime continues their reign as the only major original television movie source still standing, and films like these will keep it a source of entertainment for years to come!

The Girl He Met Online stars Yvonne Zima, Mary-Margaret Humes, and Shawn Roberts, and premieres February 8th on Lifetime.