Zone Fighter Episode 18 – Shirei “Nihon Rettou Bakuhase-yo”

aka 指令『日本列島爆破せよ』 aka Directive: Destroy the Japanese Laboratory! aka Command: “Destroy the Japanese Islands”

1973
Written by Yuji Amamiya
Directed by Ishiro Honda

Zone Fighter punches his way into a new episode, which is among the most ridiculous episodes in Zone Fighter history. It’s also pretty dumb, and is somehow a two-parter. Which is a shame, because both parts are directed by Ishiro Honda! The problem is with the story, which is really only a bare thread of a story and padded with a lot of pointless scenes and not very good monster action.

Why is the monster action not very good? Because Zone Fighter and the Terror-Beast of the Week Gundarguiras play rock paper scissors! Who needs monster fights? The excuse is because Gundarguiras ate some explosive chemical, and if he’s thrown around too violently, it will explode. Which should be find, because it’s inside a giant monster to absorb most of the blast, but whatever. Zone Fighter knows the explosive is in the belly of the beast thanks to Gundarguiras’ transparent stomach. Zone has to use his intelligence to try to trick the dumb monster into leaving Earth. Problems: 1- Zone Fighter isn’t very smart, either. 2- Gundarguiras is so stupid that even dumb tricks won’t work. 3- When a trick does work, Gundarguiras just refuses to leave, so there is no point to this strategy. 4- This scene keeps going on and on, and will continue next episode.

Thanks to the trick, Zone Fighter finally has some more new random powers, but they prove as useless as Zone Fighter normally is. I’m eager to watch the next episode just to watch Zone brutally murder Gundarguiras, because there is no way that dumb monster is getting out of this alive. The only question is if he’ll get blown up via the PS73 explosive, or by Zone Fighter shooting him a lot.

But before the murder, we have to get through the horror. So let’s get started with . If you need a Zone Fighter refresher course, drop on by the Zone Fighter Splash Page.

Scientists including Professor Tanzawa blow up some random areas of the countryside. This is a test of Tanzawa’s new explosive element PS73. The test is a success and a bunch of dudes in business suits (scientists, officials, random businessmen who hang out at explosives testing sites) are happy. Now the next step is to transport the PS73 to another lab, which they must do with care.

Monster games

The PS73 is transported in a special container. It’s suspended by springs inside a giant metal box in a smaller metal sphere. There is a convenient window to see the sample so you will know if it is gyrating too forcefully. The window also mirrors the tummy of Gundarguiras, which is an interesting parallel that I’ll assume was intentional until I hear otherwise.

One of the two men who will be driving the truck with the explosives is played by Daita Oiwa, who played the Yellow Gorenger. The other driver is a guy who looks very suspicious and is always wearing gloves. He might as well have “GAROGA!” written on his shirt.

Truck driving montage! The truck drives, the drivers are nervous, and even running over rocks on accident because they are bad drivers. There are no escorts for this secret drive of explosive chemicals that also has no real safety precautions about driving it through populated areas, but luckily by now they are in the middle of the countryside. A landslide causes a big rock to fall in the way, the drivers get out to move it. Much later, the suspicious driver turns into a Red Garoga and drives the truck to the top of a mountain, where other Garoga await. They try to kill the Gorenger Driver, but he runs. This leads to a fight in the woods where the Garoga mostly punch him around, though he does put up a good showing with a rock briefly before he’s knocked out and murdered as the Garoga laugh. Another side character meets a brutal end.

The Garoga set the PS73 explosive near a creepy cave on the mountain/volcano that has lots of dry ice fog, something you don’t see in the mountains, but this is an extra spooky cave because out pops Gundarguiras! He’s a terror-beast that looks like a lion-lizard-walrus-bat or something. So was he sent to Earth a long time ago and was just chilling in a cave, or is he a naturally occuring terror-beast? Gundarguiras eats the PS73, which we can see thanks to his helpful transparent stomach.

Zone Fighter finds the dead Gorenger Driver’s body, while Zone Angel and Zone Junior jump up to Smokey fly to where Zone Fighter is. Red Garoga taunts them and vanishes, and I guess Gundarguiras is also gone because the next few scenes imply they didn’t notice the giant monster who was just there. Also, yet another giant meteor is gonna crash into the Earth, this time Zone Fighter’s dad Yoichiro finally does something and spots it and calls it Comet K, because why not?

Comet K has been around long enoug to be in books, so it’s not a Garoga weapon, it’s just been moved by the Garoga to hit the Earth. Or maybe it was just going to hit the Earth anyway and this is just bad timing. Takeru Jou is consulting on all this comet talk because being a model shop owner gives him the unique insight others lack when discussion comets. Also they needed to burn a few more episodes on his contract.

Zone Mom Tsukiko has taken Hotaru and Akira out for some fun at the lake, yes the very same lake that Gundarguiras shows up at seconds later. This is the most either Zone Parent has done in a long long time!. And, yes, Hotaru is in a black bikini, but at this point actress Kazumi Kitahara is still in high school (she’d shoot the show after her classes were done for the day), so please avoid awful comments like ones I found about this episode in other places.

Hotaru and Akira send a zobot with information to Hikaru, and then Zone Angel and Zone Junior fight a bunch of Garoga, defeating them by teleporting, and somehow Zone Junior is able to best the Red Garoga in a one on one fight. I’ll never be able to take the Garoga seriously as a threat again. Who am I kidding, I’ve never taken them seriously, because they are moronic goofballs who couldn’t conquer a Taco Bell!

Zone Fighter shows up and grows big to fight Gundarguiras. Gundarguiras hits him with twin beams that wrap around Zone Fighter and spin him up in the air and then drop him. Then Gundarguiras shoots Zone with twin laser beams. I am pretty sure these blasts are supposed to be coming from Gundarguiras’ two huge fangs.

Zone Fighter sees the PS73 explosive in Gundarguiras’ belly, and proposes a game of rock paper scissors, which Zone Fighter then wins (they both select paper the first time, then Zone’s scissors cut paper!) The game is sort of unfair, as the lack of finger articulation in Gundarguiras prevents him from playing anything but paper (and yet Zone still takes two tries to win…) Gundarguiras refuses to leave the planet after losing, because why would you agree to that?

Zone’s new plan is to have a fencing match, using tree trunks as epees. Gundarguiras still refuses to leave when he loses this match. Zone Fighter tries to do more games, which ticks off Gundarguiras enough he just starts spewing fire all over the place. Zone Fighter then attacks, which could be bad if things explode.

Also he’s out of energy, but that’s not been a factor in almost 15 episodes now. And let’s not forget Comet K. What will happen? How will Zone deal with all this crap? Will he just punch Gundarguiras so hard he flies up into space and explodes next to Comet K, eliminating both threats? Because they could have done that at the end of this episode instead of stretching it another 25 minutes. Instead, we just get…

Tsuzuku!

Rated 3/10 (opening stars, meteor menace, power warning)

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