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Jesus Dinosaur
InMovie News

Jesus comes to Lifetime in The One

April 3, 2014By

Jesus Dinosaur

Coming soon to Lifetime!


Jesus isn’t just for The History Channel and movie theaters any more, now he’s coming to Lifetime, television for women, because….

uh….

Because ratings!

Darn, I was hoping Jesus would be a woman. Because that would be awesome! Or maybe Jesus is killing all his wives, like every other man on Lifetime. I’m on to you, Jesus! Just as long as you don’t meet Jesus on the internet, you should be safe. For now!

Called The One, this new feature will be from the producers of History Channel’s Hatfields & McCoys miniseries and Gene Simmons: Family Jewels, Leslie Grief. The One will document Jesus’s early life, between ages 13 and 30. If you know about Jesus, you know there isn’t much written about that time in his life. So how much is made up and how much is drawn from apocryphal sources will remain to be seen. The One is written by Frank DeJohn and David Alton Hedges, and claims to “stay true to the spirit of Jesus’ image as chronicled in The Bible.” Whatever that means.

But kudos to Leslie Grief for trying to make a prequel to the story of Jesus. Will Jesus be played by a white guy? Probably. Will I make Matrix jokes when I review The One? Probably. Will I make Jet Li jokes when I review The One? Probably.

via Deadline
image via tumblr

Godzilla
InGallery, Misc News

Getty lets you embed images now, so here are all the Godzilla ones!

April 3, 2014By

March of Godzilla 2014

Getty now lets you embed images in your posts online, because that’s easier than threatening to sue everyone who steals their images. It also means I can use their images without fear of retribution, so it’s high time I abuse that privilege! So what I did was run through Getty’s archive and have embedded all the images tagged “Godzilla” that weren’t awful or dumb. Sadly, a few still aren’t embeddable, but we got enough to fill up an entry, so why not? The Getty Archive has millions and millions of photos, dating back 100 years, so there is just so much there to go through.

And if these embeds somehow turn into annoying brower-crashing ads as some point in the far future, I’ll just kill this post, because I can. I have the power. Nintendo Power.

So let’s go!

Godzilla and his girlfriend who wears too much lipstick fight some big bugs!

More below the fold!

A day late and a dollar short lifetime tv
InMovie News

A Day Late and a Dollar Short pays its dues on Lifetime!

April 3, 2014By

A day late and a dollar short lifetime tv

The network that watches you back!


Lifetime’s latest original movie is A Day Late and a Dollar Short, and it’s yet another cool-looking black cast family dramedy. Whoopie Goldberg and a bad wig star as Viola Price, the Price family matriarch who will probably be dead by her next asthma attack, leading her to try to fix all her family’s problems as soon as possible. Note that all solutions involve listening to what Viola says to do! And don’t worry, her family has a lot of problems. Luckily, they’re all played by awesome actors, so it will be an entertaining time. The only bad thing is the Tyler Perry movie they chose to make this a double feature with. So instead watch the Gabby Douglass movie that airs before, then watch A Day Late and a Dollar Short at 8 (7 central), then quickly change the channel before Madea’s Family Reunion airs. Or watch Madea’s Family Reunion if that’s what you are in to. It doesn’t bug me, really.

A Day Late and a Dollar Short stars Whoopi Goldberg, Ving Rhames, Anika Noni Rose, Tichina Arnold, Kimberly Elise, and Mekhi Phifer. It premieres April 19th at 8 pm Eastern/Pacific.

In “A Day Late and a Dollar Short,” when irascible matriarch Viola Price learns that her next asthma attack will likely kill her, she is determined to fix her fractured family before she leaves this world, from her relationship with her husband to the lives of her four children and grandchildren. While on this quest, she must contend with sibling rivalry, teen pregnancy and drug addiction – and that is only one child. Additionally, her jailbird son needs to learn how to be a better father, her granddaughter is in bigger trouble than her daughter is willing to admit and Viola’s estranged husband needs saving from his scheming younger girlfriend. It’s the kind of meddling that the Price family hasn’t experienced from Viola in decades, and she won’t have an easy time bending her loved ones to her will.

via Lifetime

Trials of Kate McCall
InMovie News

Lifetime breaks out The Trials of Kate McCall!

April 2, 2014By

Trials of Kate McCall

You’re under arrest for being a lawyer and a woman!


Saturday April 5th brings us the new Lifetime flick The Trials of Kate McCall, about a single female lawyer used to be a married hotshot lawyer until she got hooked on the types of things you don’t want to get hooked on. And I’m not talking about phonics! Out of recovery, the only way she’ll get her daughter back is if she helps a woman wrongfully convicted of murder. That’s the weirdest custody stipulation I’ve ever heard of, but okay, sure, whatever. Kate Beckinsale is our lawyer heroine who will save the say and her family by not being terrible. Noted addicted to everything guy Nick Nolte also stars, along with cool James Cromwell, who is cool.

No one has answered the big questions about The Trials of Kate McCall, mainly will werewolves and vampires show up that our lawyer heroine has to destroy? Because that’s the kind of programming Lifetime should start airing just to grab some more demographics. It would be cool! Oh, well, if you like lawyering and women lawyers and proving innocent people are innocent and child custody drama, then The Trials of Kate McCall is for you!

Kate Beckinsale stars as a former hotshot lawyer who is now in recovery and estranged from her family. In order to be reinstated at the bar and recover custody of her daughter she must take on the appeal of a woman wrongfully convicted of murder.

via Lifetime

Pink Panther Pest Control
InMovie News

The Pink Panther rides again!

April 2, 2014By

Pink Panther Pest Control

Let me tell you a tale of Young Tars: When I was a wee lad I had a Pink Panther stuffed animal. As I was crazy about Pink Panther, this stuffed animal saw a bit of wear and tear, and after a few years was looking pretty worn. So I did what any kid with a fistfull of birthday cash would do, I bought a new one! But I never got rid of the old Pink Panther, so they became brothers. The new one was the cool one, of course, but they were bros just the same. So on that derail you can imagine I’m happy that there will be a new Pink Panther film that’s about the Pink Panther cartoon.

What’s weird about the film is it is being described as a live-action/CGI hybrid that takes place in the same universe as the Inspector Clouseau character from the Pink Panther films. As we all know, the Pink Panther cartoon originally appeared in the opening credits of 1963’s The Pink Panther, and went on to star in an Academy Award winning short and subsequent series of cartoons in theaters and on television.

The character doesn’t speak and is usually accompanied by a cool jazz soundtrack (which I admit is probably my first exposure to jazz), and before this was not considered a part of the live action film universe (that I understand.) But that will change as the Pink Panther will leap to life to help solve an international jewel heist, despite not talking. And Inspector Clouseau will be referenced.

This sounds so weird, but it is being directed by David Silverman, a longtime veteran of The Simpsons who also directed The Simpsons Movie, and it’s going to be written by another Simpsons vet, Michael Price. This sounds like a project that will be a lot of fun and done by creators who know how to make an entertaining spectacle. And hopefully there will be some cool jazz, because I don’t think I can handle Pink Panther slinking around to dubstep.

via THR

Pink Panther Flakes

Also bring this back as well!

Catfurnado Fletch Publicity
InMisc News

Catfurnado is an April Fools’ joke that should be real!

April 1, 2014By

Catfurnado Fletch Publicity
Because who doesn’t love a good cat joke? TarsTarkas.NET is Team #Catfurnado! Love the tag line too!

Fletch Publicity has put up this cool mock poster complete with press blurb:

LONDON: FETCH PUBLICITY TO LAUNCH PRODUCTION ARM IN 2014 WITH CATFURNADO

Fetch Publicity are proud to announce in the week of their second birthday the launch of their own production arm: Fetch Screen Entertainment.

The first motion picture from Fetch now entering pre-production is CATFURNADO which will shoot over 6 weeks on location in London.

CATFURNADO is inspired by a real-life event that took place in Chobham in Surrey where a freak weather event lifted cats into the air into a mini tornado as reported by the BBC: bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-25902371

Thankfully the cats were uninjured but CATFURNADO imagines what would happen if a tornado of cats swept through London as global warming creates a vortex of furry vengeance. It’s unstoppable, it’s pussy at one hundred miles per hour!

Cast and director for CATFURNADO will be announced but production is scheduled for summer 2014 with release in 2015.

Also the best way to take down a Catfurnado? Weaponized ALF!

via Fletch Publicity’s Facebook
Fletch Publicity’s site
Twitter

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